Normal Trainer /j

A normal trainer! If you don’t pay attention to me at least…

[whisperingwinters]

Hello! You can call me Winter, I like to Pokémon rp with my OC, Violet. But I also just ramble abt stuff as well. This blog doesn’t have a set thing I’m too stupid for that. There is no timeline, time is an illusion and also I am lazy soooo-

Violet is a Pokémon trainer that after journeying quite a few regions decided to settle down and live deep in the woods where no one would bother her.

She was born in Glitch City and assumes that is the reason that her shadow is all glitchy and pixelated.

She visits the main part of the unknown region she resides in from time to time, but mostly keeps to her self and uses a tumblr blog to substitute human interaction. She was in Sinnoh during the Space Time Incident and that is where she got Charlie. She is known to be carefree, reckless, and antisocial. Also she’s 6’8. Please let me know what the fuck this woman eats and how can I get some?

My Pokémon are:

Facade the Vivillon

Valiant the Gallade (Mega)

Pestilence the Clodsire

Macabre the Skeledirge

Jubilee the Spiritomb

Fiesta the Azumarill

Incognito the Arbok

Pera the Luxray (Alpha)

Athena the Dragonair

Faerune the Dratini

Dread the Frogadier

Chamomile the Spectrier (Shiny)

Paradox the [SAVE]

Muffin the Tyrantrum

Echo the Meloetta

Opal the Poipole (Shiny, Chimera)

Chrysa the Liligant (Hisuian, Shiny)

Peppermint the Tinkaton

Bonk the Steelix (Shiny, Ancient, Alpha)

Obsidia the Hydreigon

June the Pigeot

Autumn the Fletchinder (Shiny)

Ginger the Houndstone

Dakota the Lucario

Marionette the Banette(Teddiursa Doll)

Opulence the Gholdengo

Xena the Lycanroc(Midday)

Trips the Shiinotic

Seraph the Larvesta

Apocalypse the Slitherwing

Goose the Garchomp

Loki the Ditto

Eden the Serperior (Axanthic)

Sylph the Sylveon

Eryn the Sylveon

Kaiju the Gyarados (Huge)

Kaisel the Gyarados (Runt)

Charlie the Hisuian Zoroark (Runt)

Katelyn the Zebstrika (Rescue)

Zeke the Lopunny (Shiny)

Grape Soda the Swalot

Wheatley the Rotom

Wall-E the Porygon

Missy the Sneasel (Dark Poison)

Akai the Inkay

And Yuki the Froslass

Local wild Pokémon:

Sprout the Turtwig

Apricot the Grotle

Branch the Torterra

Mahogany the Torterra

Bandit the Sneasel

Wraith the Banette

The Swarm (1000+ Unown)

Kit the Noibat

Kat the Noibat

Dracula the Noivern

Ari the Eevee

Spock the Flareon

Ivory the Crobat (Unofficial Team Member)

Glados the Scizor

Murkrow (5x)

Vix the Ninetales (Ancient, Alpha)

Igneus the Charmander (Unique life flame)

Sunshine the Yellow MissingNo

OCCASIONAL VISITORS:

Thundurus

Rosalie (Shiny Ditto)

To Be Added…

[secondbeatsongs]

I wish I had stopped to savor it, the last time I saw a kung pow penis. I never knew it was to be my last

[somethingusefulfromflorida]

For old times sakes.

K

[saxophonechihuahua]

U

[onbearfeet]

N

[mcnamak]

G

[imjustsoscaredallthetime]

P

[liminalspacedout]

O

[emobandrpf]

w

[sentientshrubbery]

P

[forgetme-eternally-blissfully]

E

[mayhemandmoonlight]

N

[kutekitty-43]

I

[vaspider]

S

[the44th]

[coolfrogdude]

original thread by @pukicho and several other users

[mockva]

Man notices an Eagle eyeing the fish he just caught

[mexicain-sans-frontiers-v2]

[the-davest-of-uncles]

*gets back to the nest* baby you are NEVER gonna believe how i got this fish

[jame7t]

Dude my coworker left a scrumptious cookie unattended

[jame7t]

Uh, your honor? I scrumped it

[animusbell]

celestia is such a funny character like she's constantly manipulating twilight and friends to do shit instead of just asking and you could arguably frame that as being bc she's a "god" and pushing fate to her design or whatever, except that she engages with the group like a normal and relatable person, which makes it more like villainous machinations, except 90% of this manipulation goes towards things like "I don't want my party to be boring shit again. put my little country girl blorbos in there with zero prep so they fuck it up bad"

[animusbell]

you think you've fucked anything up around princess celestia and she's like heh. no worries. all according to keikaku

[jukashi]

Celestia instantly makes more sense as a character when you ignore the princess stuff and remember that she's a 1000+ years old wizard. Of course she does manipulative trickster stuff to teach moral lessons and/or cause chaos to amuse herself, that's classic wizard behavior. Of course sometimes she's actually socially awkward and bad at personal relationships and has bad ideas that she thought were good that result in her eating shit embarrassing style, that's classic wizard behavior. Of course she lets the aristocrats and nobles run around being assholes she's still running on wizard advisor programming, she's basically trying to merlin the entire upper class of equestria instead of just a king and some knights. "Yeah uuhhh we'll release the incarnation of chaos himself from his ancient prison because we think this shy girl can be friends with him", terrible plan if you're thinking like a ruler, amazing plan if you're thinking like a wizard. Just look at Canterlot 'Castle' for five seconds and ask yourself if that's in any way a castle. No. Wizard tower, yes. Wizard.

[animusbell]

You are so right actually

[inkskinned]

Every day I handle more money than I will ever make. Every day.

At the start of my employment, my boss showed me videos of people stealing, and we both had a chuckle about it. How silly they were! There was a camera overhead, and it’s not to watch the shoppers. See, we can’t actually stop shoplifters. They get away with it maybe nine out of ten times. But we, who are watched and tallied and witnessed? We are always caught.

At first it was hard to hold one hundred dollars bills. An amount I had never seen before. An amount that didn’t exist in my household. It’s normal now. Here is something that is not for me.

“What the hell, I’ll take another,” says the man, pondering our 200 dollar watches. What the hell. Total comes to 580 and not even a flinch in his face. I have been working for 11 hours today and made only 110 dollars. It will go to my rent. Today I work for free, it feels. When I get my check, I will have 35 dollars left for food and saving.

The six hundreds he hands me go into the cash register. For a moment, I imagine having money. Then I put it away, counting out his change.

I know for a fact we sell our products for double what they are worth. That I could be making commission. That they could hand me those 580 dollars and change my life and not even mark the difference in their checkbooks. He’s not the only sale they make today, but I am the reason they made it. He’s not the only one spending 600 dollars, but if I hadn’t spent two hours with him telling me about his life, he wouldn’t have spent any. I go home. I don’t own a watch.

I have watched and rewatched a video on how to make salmon four ways. My shopping list is always the same. Pasta. Rice. Tuna. If I can afford butter it was a good week. I dream of the world I will never walk in, where I can throw the best fish fillet in the cart with a shrug. I hold hundreds in my hand and look up at the camera. I put them under the cash drawer.

I go to work. I scrap together my savings. I eat my bowl of rice slowly. My manager takes a paid week off from work just for his birthday. He owns a yacht. 

I’m not worth the cost of a watch.

[inkskinned]

i wrote this while i was working at orlando’s walt disney world parks.

i was part of their college program. i moved to the state for it. they legally owned the building i was living in and still charged me rent. i ostensibly was being charged to work for them. it was a 2 bedroom apartment and they placed 6 adult women in it in forced triples.

as many as one in ten disney employees have experienced homelessness while working for the company. despite huge efforts to unionize, strike, or otherwise demand fair treatment; disney has refused to increase employee quality of life.

disney admits publicly that a good portion of their success is because the employees (“cast members”) are dedicated, passionate, and selfless. this is never reflected in pay. even “face” characters (ie those that are princesses etc) make barely above a minimum wage.

at the time that i worked there, i made $8.50 an hour. at one point i was asked to create a human shield around a bag because a bomb dog had alerted to it. for eight fucking dollars an hour.

i now work a very cushy office job. i have bought the salmon and cooked it all four ways.

i go to the store. i am nice to the person behind the counter. she looks up at the camera while she counts out my change. there is nothing fundamentally different about her and i.

we are both worth more than the watch, anyway.

[probablily]

everyone talking about leaving this app for good is stronger than me. wheres that one post thats like "I'd be here even if you could only make posts with 3 letters at a time"

[husband-in-law]

KUN

[im-a-goat-in-disguise]

GPO

[noodles-07]

WPE

[mushroom-soup-is-my-religion]

NIS

[interestingmistakes]

Reblogging this manually. Op doesn't want credit for fear of being terminated.

[charlesoberonn]

“Cave Johnson here. I’ve received complaints from anonymous employees that our support of the “homosexual lifestyle” is “degenerate” and “irresponsible”. It really got me thinking and I think I found a solution. So good news! We now have 23 vacated positions reserved for members of the LGBT community. Additional good news, we began a new testing initiative on evolutionary degenration with 23 test subjects all ready to go.“

[charlesoberonn]

“Cave Johnson here. If you’re experiencing a time loop in which you’re repeating the month of June over and over, that’s totally intentional. We at Aperture Science felt that pride month was not long enough and so we created this loop to let employees experience as much pride as they feel like. To get out of this loop, simply use the pod labeled “Time Machine” in Shaft 6 and then either kill or save the baby on the other end depending on when in the loop you’re on. Don’t worry about the baby’s identity, he grows up to be an asshole.“

[charlesoberonn]

“Cave Johnson here, happy to announce that our Rainbow Gel project was a massive success. We have developed distinct gels in every color of the rainbow pride flag. In fact, it was too much of a success, so we’ll be updating our pride flag accordingly to include 75 new colors corresponding to all of our new gels. Word of advice, though, don’t stare at the flag for too long, most of these colors haven’t been tested on human eyes yet.”

[charlesoberonn]

[charlesoberonn]

“Cave Johnson here, Cave Johnson queer. Get used to it.”

[charlesoberonn]

“Cave Johnson here. Caroline just informed me that I am her “beard”. I checked, and I fail to see how I could possibly have grown out of her face. If anybody knows anything about human-to-facial hair transmogrification, please report to my office.”

[charlesoberonn]

“Cave Johnson here. Friendly reminder that Aperture employees living prior to the legalization of gay marriage are invited to use our Aperture Science Temporal Matrimony Pod in order to travel to the future with your same-sex partner and get married there. Employees from the future who wish to return to a time before gay people being able to marry are also welcome to use the pod and we’ll make sure to send you to an era well before gay marriage. I’m thinking maybe Late Cretacesous.”

[charlesoberonn]

“Cave Johnson here. I’m proud to announce that our plan to hire only female test subjects to prevent them from flirting with our female scientists has been a resounding failure.”

[charlesoberonn]

“Cave Johnson here. I’m afraid we’ll have to temporarily pause all experimentation with the Gender Affirmation Beam. The testing itself is going great, the beam is working. But we’re starting to run out of thigh high socks and khaki shorts.”

[charlesoberonn]

“Cave Johson here. Shafts 10 through 14 are currently under lockdown due to a meltdown in the Neopronoun Syntheizer. The transphobes up in DC might call that ‘a disaster in the making’ but I call it a win for diversity! That being said most of these pronouns are radioactive so do watch out.”

[charlesoberonn]

Cave Johnson here. If you feel a sudden sense of elation and contentness when putting on your new Aperture Science unisex uniform, that is not Gender Euphoria! That’s a hallucinogenic fungus taking over your brain. Take the uniform off immediately and throw it in the nearest incinerator.”

[charlesoberonn]

“Cave Johnson here. I won’t tolerate any misgendering of the interdimensional invaders swarming the facility! Their pronouns are they/them and we’re ought to respect that. We’re also ought to shoot them on sight since they’re extremely hostile and bent on enslaving our planet.”

[charlesoberonn]

“Cave Johnson here. To all of my suitors and secret admirers: Thank you, honestly I’m flattered. Unfortunately for you, I don’t swing that way. Or any way. I only swing where the wrecking ball of science takes me. Usually into a brick wall.”

[charlesoberonn]

“Cave Johnson here. I’ve been thinking. We have gay pride, and we have gender envy. What other deadly sins can we incorporate? Maybe bisexual sloth? Lesbian wrath? I’ll talk to the lab boys about it.”

“Cave Johnson here. Update: The Lesbian Wrath project is postponed indefinitely. My condolences to the families of the deceased. Though let’s be honest, they probably had it coming.”

[charlesoberonn]

“Cave Johnson here. For the last time! “I’m reclaiming the slur” is not a valid excuse to shout out loud the killer androids’ activation codes! We picked that word for a reason.“

[charlesoberonn]

“Cave Johnson here. I’d like to apologize to Floor 194 Safety Supervisor Doug Blakely for firing him after allegations that he was forcing employees back in the closet. I was not aware that said closet was a literal storage closet for zombified Aperture employees. To make it up to Doug, he’ll be allowed to feed Floor 194 HR Manager Lisa Briant to the closet zombies if he so chooses.”

[charlesoberonn]

”Cave Johnson here. A reminder that next year Transgender Day of Visibility falls on Extradimensional Day of Visibility. The lab boys are cautioning me to caution you to be prepared. Do not confuse transgender and transdimensional! Big mistake.“

[charlesoberonn]

“Cave Johnson here. To all cishet Aperture employees who volunteered for the ‘Get More Woke’ program, please report to your department’s OR at the nearest convenience to get the alarm clocks surgically removed from your spinal cord. Aperture Science apologizes for the misunderstanding.”

[charlesoberonn]

“Cave Johnson here. Dr. Barnaby from Cyborg Engineering is an attack helicopter. That’s not a transphobic joke, by the way, they literally transformed themselves into an amalgam of human and helicopter. Impressive. Unauthorized, of course, but still impressive. Anyway, we lost track of them, so everyone watch the sky for a mad scientist with blue rotors and machine guns.”

[charlesoberonn]

“Cave Johnson here. To the joker who added ‘make the sun gay’ to our quarterly agenda, I hope you’re pleased with yourself. The Astrophysics Department is tearing itself apart with half of them shouting that you can’t make the sun gay and the other half screaming that the sun is already gay. Either way, we’re not doing it.”

[charlesoberonn]

“Cave Johnson here. The congressional delegation of Senator Patrick Johnson (no relation) to inspect our facilities had to be cut short due to a mishap with the Gender Affirmation Beam. I’d like to apologize on behalf of Aperture Science to Senator Johnson and her staff.”

[charlesoberonn]

“Cave Johnson here. Just the other day, our sign guy asked me ‘Cave, don’t you think LGBTQIA2S+ is a tad too long?’ and I told him ‘First of all, that’s Mr. Johnson to you! And secondly, I actually think it’s not long enough!’ and that’s why I’m adding an ’&’ to the acronym. Don’t know what it stands for yet, but I’ll figure it out.”

[charlesoberonn]

“Cave Johnson here. You already know that here in Aperture Science we’re all about gender affirming care. We’ve been at the forefront of hormone replacement therapy since before we knew what these hormones do. You also know that here in Aperture Science we’re all about not getting sued. So everyone be quiet about our role in the Estrogen Cola disaster.”

[charlesoberonn]

“Cave Johnson here. So far, we received 832 submissions to our Homophobia Remover design competition. Unfortunately, 829 had to be disqualified for being a schematic of a gun. Objectively hilarious, but not what we’re looking for. Wait, the lab boys just got another submission: and… it’s another gun. Keep at it, folks.”

[charlesoberonn]

“Cave Johnson here. Using a set of genetically identical triplets and a molecular combinizer, we just proved scientifically that being bisexual isn’t the same as being half-straight and half-gay. Now we just need to figure out how to separate Craigstopher back into his component brothers.”

[ode-on-a-grecian-butt]

art by @niochemblyat

[ode-on-a-grecian-butt]

I always know its getting toasty out in the world because girls start reblogging this post like crazy

[kosmogrl]

[kosmogrl]

sorry I didn’t show up it was because umm.. you see, I was busy. maybe another time??

[beginning-to-be-happy]

Honestly, upon watching Iron Lung again, I think the way a lot of fanfic of bloodymary represents Simon is off. He's sweet, he's scared, he just wants to live. His rough, loud reactions are understandable due to the intensely stressful situation he's in.

He's just as gentle as Grace is. It's just that their circumstances are wildly different.

[beginning-to-be-happy]

You get it!

[cutecipher]

as a feminist i support recreational abortion

[cutecipher]

i have mixed feelings about competitive

[cutecipher]

*maddest ive ever been, eye twitching* thats baseless. its something else actually.

[anthrophobixx]

I had a dream where Brock was revealed to be a butch lesbian at the end of journeys and he thought that "ash and the others already knew" and the entire internet started losing their minds over it and after a couple hours the pokemon company tweeted "surprise faggots" with a picture of Brock holding a poorly edited lesbian flag

I tried to recreate it it looked smth like this

[hypnosispkmn]

In light of recent events (my main got a pkmn related hit post ppl see the butch brock vision)

[pokemonheritageposts]

Pokemon Heritage Post

[beholdingslut]

in absolute tears about the pride module at my work

[dikdikpronouncedxylophone]

[bigfoots-biggest-fan]

HOLY SHIT GUYS, I WAS INSPIRED BY THIS POST TO TRY MAKE THE SONG AND YOU WOULD NOT BELIEVE THE SCREAM I SCRUMPT WHEN I DRAGGED THE TRAINING AUDIO OVER THE BACKING TRACK AND IT LINED UP PERFECTLY

Visit Original Link

Tempted to actually put this on spotify so I can secretly stream it at work...

Tagging @batshit-auspol because as an Australian you're the only big account I know who might share (sorry).

[punkrorschach]

happy first day of pride everyone

[finnglas]

when i was a tiny baby queer (aka a 24-year-old), i went to my first pride festival probably three months after i kicked ex-gay therapy to the curb and came out to my parents. being the people they are, my parents came with me. they weren’t really sure about this whole gay thing, but they loved me and wanted me to be safe and happy and wanted to be involved in what was important to me, so they came along. (i also think my mother still might have thought i might get drugged or murdered or beaten by a protester of which there were plenty.)

anyway i wanted a memento of my first pride, you know, and this one vendor was selling keyrings, and i liked it, so i bought one. do you remember those italian charm bracelets that were all the rage like 10-15 years ago? it was a keychain like that, and it had a rainbow rooster, a rainbow cat, and then just a rainbow, and so I bought it.

i run into my mom a couple of vendors over and she goes oh you bought something? what’d you get? so i showed her, and i was like, “I’m not sure why it’s a rooster and a cat. Seems kind of random. But I liked the rainbows.”

and my mom, who was some form of minister’s wife for most of my childhood and teenagerhood, stares at me like she thinks i’m joking.

“What?” i say.

“…it’s a cock and a pussy, Jules,” she says flatly, and that is the story of how i died at the age of 24 while attending my first pride festival.

[finnglas]

I love how every June this one gets dug up and passed around again, lmao.

[finnglas]

oh no is this what we’re doing now

[finnglas]

…relic…

*crumbles and blows away on the wind*