Still at the Cottage

Fin ❤︎ She/her ❤︎ Queer They're my current obsession Main: @mapsundermoonlight

[sugarkaanes]

IM GONNA THROW UP THE WAY SHANE TURNS HIS HEAD IN LOVE WHEN THEY NOSE BOOP UGH. UGHHH

[hollanovbiter]

ilya: shane. why did your dad buy me 3 costco sized boxes of nerd’s gummy clusters?

shane: ??? what? you said you liked them the other day?

ilya: yes? but i don’t need 600 thousand of them?

shane: *shrugs* that’s just what dad’s do ilya???

then ilya starts tearing up and shane has to sit in his lap and caress his hair until he stops

[sweetbabyshane]

Ilya will pout. If he wants attentions, Ilya is not above whining and pouting to his husband to get what he wants. And Shane folds every time. He loves his dramatic baby of a husband too much to resist.

---

"You are mad at me," Ilya said suddenly from the other end of the couch.

Shane looked up with confusion at the sudden outburst. "What? No I’m not."

Ilya sighed and let his head fall back against the arm rest. "You must be. There is no other explanation."

"Why do you say that? Explanation for what?" Shane asked, letting his iPad fall into his lap. He adjusted his glasses a bit as they slipped down his nose.

Ilya crossed his arms and looked at the ceiling to keep his composure. "I have been on the couch with you for over ten minutes, and you do not touch me. You have not even looked at me. You must be mad if you do not want me."

Shane's jaw dropped slightly at the accusation. "Ilya, seriously? I’m not mad. I was focused on reading this contract for mom."

"No, is fine. I understand. You are tired of me now. Honeymoon is over," Ilya replied with another sigh, letting his head loll to the side. His voice had taken on that signature whine he only used when he was in a certain attention-seeking mood.

"Oh my god, you are ridiculous," Shane said with a huff. He knew what was going on now, and he had to resist laughing at the dramatics.

Ilya finally looked at Shane, sporting a pitiful look as if to say 'poor me' with his eyes. "First, my husband won’t touch me. Now, he says mean things about me."

"Ilya, come on. You know I didn't do it on purpose. I just get concentrated on things," Shane offered, playing into Ilya's little scene now.

"Yes, I know, but you usually still will touch me. At least acknowledge I am here," Ilya responded, sniffing at the end with a little pout on his lips.

Shane set his iPad aside and patted the couch beside him with an endeared smile on his face. He would never admit it, but Shane loved these little moments where Ilya indirectly asked for what he wanted. If a silly exchange was necessary to end up cuddling on the couch sometimes, Shane would never tell him to stop.

"You’re right. I’m sorry. I really was just focused on reading. It’s a lot of legal stuff so I had to concentrate. Come here."

Ilya let out a pleased hum and shuffled over to drape himself across Shane’s chest. His head quickly nuzzled into his preferred spot, and Ilya only had to wait a few seconds for Shane's hand to start running through his hair.

"Yes, much better. My husband loves me again."

Shane huffed a laugh before dropping a kiss on Ilya's head. "I never stopped, you big baby."

"Yours," Ilya mumbled into Shane's neck.

"Hmm?"

Ilya lifted his head just enough to kiss Shane's chin, and he repeated himself. "Your big baby."

Shane gently lowered Ilya's head back to his chest and squeezed him a little tighter in his arms. "Yeah, my big baby."

[tinylilhollander]

Just imagining Ilya admitting to Shane during their first year as a couple post-cottage, that it's always been his dream to have an arcade in his house one day, because it was so rare that he was ever allowed to go to one growing up. And Shane immediately starts secretly reaching out to his contractors, asking how possible it would be to build an extension on his games room. For the rest of the year, Shane spends every free moment checking the building progress, sourcing machines, finding people to restore the ones that are a little beat up, pushing to get everything done before the season ends.

He gets to the cottage a day before Ilya's due to arrive to get all the groceries and snacks they'd need for their two weeks, but also to check the new arcade and it's absolutely perfect. He's so excited going to fetch Ilya he can barely contain himself. He thinks that he'll like it, but there's a small part of his mind that's like is it too much though?

"Excited to be going back?" Ilya asks, taking the hand Shane's been nervously drumming against the wheel. And Shane can't even really speak. He just nods, and brings Ilya's hand up to his lips to kiss it.

When they get to the cottage, Ilya immediately starts dragging him off in the direction of the bedroom, and Shane digs his heels in. Ilya turns around looking concerned.

"Something wrong?"

"Nothing's wrong," says Shane, giving his hand a reassuring squeeze. "I just have something to show you and I'm not going to be able to think about anything else until I do. Come with me."

Ilya only looks marginally less worried as Shane leads him to the games room.

"See anything new?" he asks, and Ilya dutifully looks around for anything that looks different from last time.

"You have bookshelves now," says Ilya. "I did not know we would be doing so much reading this time."

And Shane laughs and tells him to take a closer look. When Ilya approaches the bookshelf and notices the little wooden loon, Shane knows his plan will work. As soon as Ilya tries to pick it up, presumably to chirp him about it, it tips and the bookshelf springs forward on one side. Ilya turns back to Shane looking like a kid at Christmas.

"You have a secret room now? A sex dungeon? My Shane, are you planning to do wicked things to me in here for the next two weeks?"

"Just go look, asshole," Shane laughs, following Ilya into the room, heart catching when Ilya sees it for the first time.

"An arcade?" he asks, awestruck. "You have an arcade?"

"You have an arcade. Or, I mean, we have an arcade." Ilya turns to look at him. "I know you've always wanted one and I want the cottage to be yours as much as it's mine so I, uh—"

And that's all he can say for the next few minutes because suddenly he finds himself crowded against a claw game being kissed to within an inch of his life.

"You're so fucking crazy, Hollander," says Ilya when they eventually part, pressing his forehead to Shane's. "A fucking secret arcade. Thank you, lyubimyy. I don't even know how to say it. Just thank you. I love you and your big crazy heart so fucking much."

And Shane laughs and presses a small kiss to his lips.

"Happy anniversary, baby. I love you too."

[pregnanthudsonwilliams]

personally i think shane is instigating sexting in any and all locations. i think he's in the cens locker room after practice texting ilya fuck baby you look so hot right now. need your cock so bad. he's at a shoot for some brand deal like can't stop thinking about your mouth and wanna ride your face tonight between takes. he's at the team dinner watching ilya wrapping his hands around a bottle and sending need your fingers. fuck. ilya of course loves this.

but if ilya so much as sends a looking sexy, hollander at the MLH awards shane is sending him death glares so intense and obvious that marly's asking uh oh, trouble in paradise rozy?

[perlukafarinn]

I love an AU where Ilya seduces Shane away from an asshole boyfriend and I really want one where the boyfriend suggests opening the relationship and that's how Shane and Ilya first start fucking.

[perlukafarinn]

If they are still hockey players then the boyfriend is someone unaffiliated with hockey and Shane has been dating him probably since before he met Ilya.

Boyfriend is out and Shane is not (for obvious reasons) and while this doesn't necessarily make for an unhealthy relationship Boyfriend is, as established, an asshole. He's not shy about reminding Shane of how lucky he is that he puts up with the secrecy and how impossible it would be for Shane to find someone else in his situation.

They've also been together since they were teenagers so Boyfriend is the only guy Shane has ever been with and the only one who knows Shane is gay, which also means that Shane has no one to talk to about any misgivings he might have about the relationship.

The story is the same as in canon from Ilya's perspective until the CCM commercial when he hits on Shane in the shower and Shane, visibly into Ilya and fighting with himself internally, tells him he can't because he has a boyfriend. Then he panics about what he just told Ilya but Ilya promises not to tell anyone - they have the same secret, after all. Sure he's disappointed but he can always find other people to fuck (that hollow feeling in his chest feels like a lot more than just disappointment but Ilya ignores that).

Every time Shane and Ilya catch a moment alone over the next couple of years, Ilya asks Shane if he's still with the boyfriend and the answer is always yes. Around the third time, Shane is feeling vulnerable because they just had a fight the week before and Boyfriend has been ignoring him and he doesn't have anyone to talk to about how awful he feels, and he just kind of. Starts telling Ilya about it.

And Ilya listens and then tells Shane, "He sounds like an asshole."

Shane feels conflicted about this comment because on the one hand, it kind of confirms what he's been thinking, but on the other Ilya doesn't actually know Boyfriend and all he has is information from a very biased source.

"He's not," Shane finally says. "We just got into an argument. Couples fight."

Ilya wants very much to disagree, because Hollander sounds fucking miserable talking about this guy, but he wisely concludes that this would just make Shane dig his heels in further and refrains.

Despite Shane's protests, every time Ilya asks him about his boyfriend after that he looks more tired. This guy also clearly makes him insecure as hell and Ilya hates seeing the effect he has, making Shane fucking Hollander carry himself like he's two inches tall and trying to disappear.

Ilya is itching to tell Shane to dump Boyfriend, to find someone who'll treat him like he deserves. Whenever he indirectly broaches the topic though, Shane gets defensive, and Ilya doesn't want to push it because as much as he'd like to get Shane away from this guy (and into his own bed) he also doesn't want Shane to shut him out and isolate himself even further.

Then comes the day when Shane actually approaches Ilya first. He looks nervous but determined and at first, Ilya thinks this is it. He finally remembered that he's Shane fucking Hollander and kicked that guy to the curb.

What Shane tells him isn't quite that. Ilya still perks up, because he cannot believe that Boyfriend, this absolute piece of shit moron, suggested opening the relationship and delivered Shane to Ilya on a silver platter.

Because Shane's first instinct, upon getting permission to fuck other people, was to seek Ilya out. He looks cautious but hopeful when he asks if Ilya's still interested in hooking up, like the answer isn't obviously yes.

Yes, Ilya's still interested. But not just in hooking up. Not in being the side piece.

He's gonna seduce Shane right from underneath Boyfriend's stupid, ugly nose and treat him with the reverence and care he actually deserves.

[lexicanons]

Ilya’s doctor warns him that antidepressants often decrease sex drive but after eight weeks of taking the meds, the opposite has happened. His sex drive has dramatically increased. He’s horny all the time, and he’s constantly thinking about fucking Shane. It’s pretty much the only thing he thinks about. It’s the off-season, and they’re at the cottage, so he has mostly uninterrupted access to Shane and can fuck him around the clock, but he knows he can’t go on like this. They were having dinner with Yuna and David the other night and he almost bent Shane over the dining room table while his in-laws where in the kitchen. Ilya was horrified when he got hard from Shane placing a piece of garlic bread on his plate, and had to lie about being too full to move from the table so he had time to will his erection away before his in-laws saw it. He has to figure this out before the season starts or he might bend Shane over and fuck him in front of everyone in the locker room. He goes back to the doctor and tells them his symptoms, and they switch him to another medicine. Ilya tells Shane about the medication switch and he swears he sees a brief flash of disappointment on Shane’s face.

[darlingofdots]

let's think of some Bits in the Hollander-Rozanov household because every good relationship needs incomprehensible and insufferable Bits:

the random Russian nouns as pet names, obviously

turning to Anya to arbitrate who won the race/loads the dishwasher correctly/scored a sexier goal etc

Ilya. Ilyusha. Ilyushenka. Ilyushenkechka.

and who won Rookie of the Year????

"I have never said this in my life"

threatening to tell Yuna

"pass me the remote?" — "come and get it" — [wrestling]

butt slapping. at every opportunity.

"we will have to shoot you like lame horse" when one of them gets so much as a papercut

idioms translated literally into the wrong language

"this is not hall of fame behaviour"

"who should I bring as my plus one" and listing random people while the other pouts

[oshell-on-ice]

I think at some point Ilya’s therapist gets concerned by what seems to be a codependent and anxious attachment btw Ilya and Shane. When Shane the Doer hears about it, For the sake of his husband’s mental health’s improvement and the preservation of a healthy marriage, he convinces Ilya to try installing boundaries and do activities separately. It lasts a week before Ilya comes home sobbing from a video game session with Troy communicating that if they keep this boundary thing up he’ll need to switch his meds’ dosage because he’s miserable. Shane jumps from the couch he’s been sitting on for 40minutes because he was supposed to eat diner with rose but he kept wanting to make jokes and look at ilya to see him laugh but he wasn’t there and it SUCKED OMG and Shane starts sobbing too because if they keep this up he will have to get on his own meds and let’s never do this again I hate it when I can’t smell you near me

[hyphenemdash]

situationship to codependency final boss actually

[lexilexilexilexile]

Shane and Ilya’s daughter has to do a family tree project in class. They’ve done a great job at emphasizing to her that parents can be any two people that love each other and she understands that other kids might not know that. The rest of the project will be pretty straight forward - Shane doesn’t have any siblings and their daughter doesn’t know much about Ilya’s family at this age besides that papa has a mama that watches over them and that loves her very much. Shane is still nervous about it and having a Very Normal Shane Reaction wondering if she will feel left out for not having a mom and feeling sad that she will never know her papas family and wondering if she is lonely and if they should have another kid. When they get an email from the school asking them to come in at pickup to discuss her family tree Ilya is already angry and ready to pick a fight with whatever stupid kid is bullying their daughter for having two dads. They walk into the classroom and their daughter is standing with her arms crossed insisting that there is nothing wrong with her project and when the teacher slides it across the table they see something so bizarre that they don’t know where to start. She’s drawn on only one side of the tree - Ilya and Shane both stemming from Yuna and David. Next to them are about ten stick figures of different sizes all with hearts around them. While they’re trying to decipher what on earth she has drawn she starts presenting it with her little finger saying “see? Dad is grandma Yuna and grandpa David’s son and Papa is grandma Yuna and grandpa David’s son, too.” And then she moves her finger along with “and that’s uncle Hayden, uncle Troy and uncle Harris, uncle Evan, uncle Luca….” And as she’s naming every stick figure Shane is trying to figure out how he’s going to explain to her teacher that he is not married to one of his 10 brothers when he is actually an only child and Ilya has to turn away because he’s crying at the reminder that the family that adopted him adopted her as well and there has never been a child that has been so loved

[tinylilhollander]

If Ilya does ever figure out that Shane's autistic it'll be through something so stupid. Like he's scrolling through TikTok one night because he can't sleep and he comes across this video that's like 'Dear autism community: rate this spoon'. And there's this whole reveal where they unwrap it from a cloth so he's expecting the fanciest spoon he's ever seen and then they reveal it and he's so disappointed to find it's just... a normal fucking spoon.

He thinks this must be a joke so he goes to the comments, and sure enough it's absolutely full of people who not only seem to think this spoon is worthy of rating in the first place, but who seem to have very strong opinions on what makes it a good or bad spoon. To Ilya a spoon is a spoon is a spoon. It's absolutely baffling to him that people seem to think the handle looks like it's not weighty enough, or that the shape of the bowl is wrong, or that it's too flat or too square. He opens the playlist of cutlery rating videos because surely this can't be the norm, and sure enough every single one has a comment section full of very strong opinions about how good or bad this normal fucking fork or knife is.

And then a memory returns to him, as he looks over at his peacefully sleeping husband, of Shane moving in and having to get rid of all his cutlery to replace it with his.

"Sorry, I know it's stupid, but yours are really bad to hold, baby. It's literally all I can think about every time I eat here."

And Ilya didn't mind at the time. So Shane likes his own cutlery better? That's a small compromise when Ilya doesn't have strong feelings about silverware in the first place. But now things are beginning to click, and he's beginning to draw a line between the opinionated spoon people and the day he had to drive his cutlery to the nearest goodwill.

Ilya spends the rest of the night reading about autism and suddenly there's so much more that's beginning to make sense. He doesn't know how he'll bring it up with Shane – if he'll ever bring it up with Shane – but for how it's good to know.

[agent-odessa-over]

Yuna invites Ilya over for lunch. He is tempted to decline, believing it to be motivated by pity, but Shane is in Montreal and the loneliness of rambling around his too-big Ottowa house starts to feel like living in a mausoleum, so he accepts. It is this afternoon that he learns Shane's darkest secret. Darkest in name only, because it turns out to be quite the opposite in appearance.

After lunch they are seated in the den, fondly flipping through old photograph albums, when Ilya spies one that makes him lean over and squint. In the way of disposable camera film from the early aughts, it is grainy and overexposed, but there are no mistaking the warm brown eyes and pouty lips of Shane Hollander, looking blank faced at the camera. What comes as a surprise are the bleached blond ends of his dark hair, styled into crunchy looking spikes with obscene amounts of product.

Ilya emits a noise that can only be described as a squawk. Hand clapped to his mouth, because he barely trusts himself to speak, he chokes out, "What is...this?"

Yuna glances over nonchalantly. "Oh, that. Shane begged me to let him get frosted tips when he was 12."

Ilya will die. He will die right here, gagging on suppressed laughter, and Yuna will be forced to clean the mess of his remains off the berber carpet.

"I think he was trying to emulate some boy band he was obsessed with then. NSYNC maybe? I thought it was a bad idea, but David convinced me to let him try it out. Shane was going through a moody period, and he thought it might help."

"And-" Ilya squeaks in way too high a pitch, then clears his throat. "Ahem. And did it?"

Yuna thinks. "Hard to say. God, he was a bit of a bitchy preteen." She chuckles. "He had a poster of Lance Bass taped to his closet door. In hindsight, I should have guessed the gay thing much earlier."

Ilya can no longer contain his laughter. He doubles over with it, waving his hand and wheezing, "Sorry, sorry." He wipes tears from his eyes. "I can have this picture?"

Yuna shrugs. "Sure. The poster is probably still upstairs in his closet, if you want that, too. I've been meaning to clear it out-"

Ilya just stares at Yuna in wide eyed wonder. "Yes. I want." He dashes up the stairs so fast he nearly trips.

[jewelcoatfish]

obsessed with shane hollander forgetting a word in english and turning to his husband desperately trying to explain what he means using fucking russian AND english and it goes like (russian is in italics)

shane: the fucking thing that we used with the pancake mix

ilya: whisk?

shane: no the flat thing!

ilya: pan?

shane: no, the flip!

ilya: spatula?

shane: YES THE SPATULA! anyway cassie i think our spatula isn’t really good do you gave a good brand you can recommend?

and everyone is confused as fuck lmfao

[knownqueerbaiter]

shane burying his face in his hands after forgetting to say the B in the acronym: they’re gonna cancel me. the bisexuals are never going to forgive me

ilya, patting his shoulder: it is okay, hollander. i know what you can do to make it up to bisexual community

shane: is it suck your—

ilya: it IS suck my cock, yes, good guess!

[extraaa-30]

shane & ilya watch each other's games whenever they can right? like whenever they're not playing at the same time or literally playing each other?

hc that one day shane (missing ilya, pissed off watching him score 12 seconds into a game & it's So Beautiful & that's His Guy!!! that is his beautiful BOYFRIEND whom he LOVES being incredible at hockey which he also loves!!!) he just starts recording himself ranting about it...then forgets to stop recording.

cue ilya later receiving a 2.5 HOUR voice note that's just. shane's commentary & reactions throughout the ENTIRE game. (some quiet moments where you just hear the tv gameplay or shane shifting around. LOTS of shane insulting making observations about various players. lots & LOTS of him reacting to some sinfully impressive move/goal/fight of ilya's with "damn that's hot")

the next time ilya watches one of shane's games, he records a voice note of his own. & then they just, keep doing it. & now when they're reviewing their own games they can play each other's commentary at the same time, and it almost feels like watching together.

[shane-bug]

Idiots in love

[mojoscircus]

He’s such a cutie patootie