Gay Shrimp Guy

Local cryptid • He/they • every flavor of queer • I really like dice • granted the capacity for kindness, and I intend to act on it • icon by Sevvanto

[kroovv]

Please enjoy this snail measuring tape i got at a garadge sale today

[wholesomeblueboyo]

Garage snail

[storybookprincess]

so back when my little brother was in high school, my mom went as a chaperone for their senior year field trip to an amusement park. which, you know, brave move to volunteer to supervise a bunch of high school seniors let loose in a wonderland of rollercoasters and sugar

my brother and his friends in this field trip group were truly great kids. but they were not above run of the mill teenage boy shenanigans. it’s the end of senior year, you and all your buddies are at the amusement park, you’re naturally going to want to act like a complete moron

there was one kid in the group who was especially prone to goofing around. committed to the bit, some may say. my mom knew that if nonsense was going to break out, he’d likely be at the center of it

so she goes up to this kid at the very start of the trip and says “hey, i’m kinda worried about this chaperoning thing. this might be a lot to ask, but can you help me keep an eye on everyone? you wouldn’t have to do anything big, just be an extra set of eyes for me.”

friends, this kid proceeded to run their field trip group like the fucking us marines. everyone is at the meet up spots at the designated time. everyone waits in line for the rides like a bunch of boy scouts. the second the horseplay gets too out of hand, this kid is getting it back under control

it’s incredible how differently people act based on the expectations you set. instead of going to this kid and saying “hey, i know you’re trouble, so i’ve got my eye on you,” my mom went “hey, i know you have influence in your peer group, so i think you can help me.”

treat someone like a problem, they’ll act like a problem. but give people a chance to help, make them feel important, and they usually rise far above the occasion. it was a stroke of genius that i’m honestly still in awe of

[anarchopuppy]

straight up 'unforchin it'. and by 'it', haha, well. let's justr say. my circumstants

[so-many-ocs]

immediately after an interaction: i have GOT to get more normal oh god i need to get more normal immediately i have to get more normal or they're going to hunt me down they're going to hunt me down and flay me for sport

during an interaction: and why not put a little spin on it? why not add some conversational zest?

[mingpicket]

kink: deleting someone’s pointless comment by reblogging the post from the same person they did

[yzghuldar]

I mean, that’s censorship but okay.

[nutsacktorturer]

ksvskwbidbwkdbskbsjw

[king-of-the-freeway]

[asksloyxp]

Maybe if I just work harder, this empty cup will pour again

[shinyrock6498]

Maybe the cup needs a bit of time to rest and refill?

[asksloyxp]

Maybe the cup needs to lock the fuck in???

[wholesomeblueboyo]

Y’all ever experience the emotional equivalent to heartburn?

Not an acute pain, but it just sits there in the background, eating away at your insides. You want to ignore it- and you can sometimes, but it’s not going away anytime soon.

Guess that’s what happens when you swallow all those volatile emotions for so long. They churn in your gut and become a violent poison, scratching and clawing at your throat for freedom.

So strange to uncork that bottle, when it once felt like your very life depended on keeping it firmly shut. Like letting yourself finally vomit after nauseously choking it back for so long.

Better out than in. But god, it stings. It tastes horrible, it feels disgusting. It almost makes you wish you had just kept trying to swallow it back down.

But you do tend to feel marginally better afterwards, so there’s that I guess

[sunshinetomorrow]

this clip from the new will anderson video is actually maybe the funniest thing ive seen in years

[otiksimr]

Poorly drawn Spearow line

[wholesomeblueboyo]

I saw this artist’s rendition of the pidgey line reposted on fb and was like “I LITERALLY NEED FEAROW/SPEAROW IN THIS STYLE” so I looked them up and turns out they’ve made a ton of drawings in this style!!!!

HELL YEAH THIS FUCKS

Y’all should go check them out, their work is delightful

[otiksimr]

could you draw hisuian typhlosion or hisuian growlithe, please and thank you. i love your poorly drawn stuff so much :]

Krechur

[otiksimr]

Poorly drawn Oddish line.

[cipher-fresh]

I must not mock Gen Alpha. Mocking Gen Alpha is the mind killer. Mocking Gen Alpha is the little-death that brings total generational solidarity obliteration. I will engage with Gen Alpha lovingly. I will permit them to be cringe. And when they grow up I will turn my eye to their accomplishments. Where mocking has gone there will be nothing. Only generational solidarity remains

[ordinarysparkplug]

telling a vampire "youre not allowed in my house anymore" and they get blasted out through the nearest wall

[annabelle--cane]

the desire to pronounce words as they are said in their source language for the sake of accuracy vs the desire to not sound like a complete tool

[imforeverjustyours-deactivated2]

[knitmeapony]

Faraday bags are actually very easy to make and are totally reasonable thing to own if you travel a lot! If anyone questions you about it, be they cop or stranger, tell them you have it because you're worried about having your identity stolen when you are traveling.

A great inexpensive tutorial to making your own bags if you sew:

If you want to do this really quick and simple, just get a shipping envelope big enough to fit two of whatever device you are protecting in if they were both laying flat next to each other, aluminum foil, and some heavy brown paper. Wrap the shipping envelope in foil, then paper, then foil, then paper. Make sure that when you are taping the edges of the foil you roll them slightly before taping so that they are touching each other and completely surrounding the phone in metal. Then put your device inside the envelope, fold over the top of the whole thing, and then fold the whole thing in half again and tape it closed.

Especially if you're using heavy duty foil, one layer is probably enough for most devices, especially if you turn them off. But putting on a second layer only costs pennies.

[uwuplasmiusuwu]

I just remembered my second Pride, where I made different flag themed daisy chain bracelets/necklaces to hand out. I need folks to understand something:

They were free.

They were fucking free.

They were maybe ¢60 of acrylic yarn each at the most, and the whole ziploc bag of them took 2 hours max.

Three people gave me sad eyes until I took their money.

Someone who was clearly the mom friend of their group made me take a $5 and gave a 10 minute pep talk.

At least four more people insisted on getting change to pay for the, once again, free bracelets.

In spite of all these shenanigans, the absolute best was this one person who I can only describe as, “queer surfer dude who looks like a boyfriend who looks like a girlfriend.” I can remember nothing of the outfit, only the impeccable vibes. I did the same thing I did with everyone else, explaining the bracelets were free, and they nodded along as they took the last 6 strand rainbow bracelet. As soon as they had it on their wrist, they pointed at something over my shoulder and, like a fool, I looked.

Next thing I know, they’re running off cackling, yelling, “YOU’LL NEVER CATCH ME!” and I’m holding a fucking $20. I had to stop at least two people from chasing them, cause they thought the person stole something, and then they tried to give me money cause they thought it was funny seeing me flail over people being Too Nice.

That was the year I got reverse-robbed at Pride. I hope everyone out there is having a good time and, in particular, that queer surfer dude is out there still causing benevolent chaos.

[uwuplasmiusuwu]

After thinking about it for 15 minutes, I now know where the fuck my gremlin tendencies come from. I was always a little shit, and I always tried to be helpful, but this? This was when 19-year-old me realized that chaotic and good are not mutually exclusive.

The world has not known peace since.

[zommae]

Talking about someone who uses multiple pronouns is so fun because if you use all of them you get a Tony Hawk Pro Skater combo