Who Speaks Gnoll?

Pathfinder and weird one-offs

[whospeaksgnoll]

The Scheduled End

[Piotr Jabłoński] Things fall apart, the center cannot hold, etc. The assorted envoys of Hell promise the end of all things, because it’s an important part of branding, but no one in Hell is actually dedicated to the project of destroying the world. In the minds of many, they’ve already won. So there’s still a department in the sprawling bureaucracy that must be touted in the yearly company newsletter, and funds and legions must sometimes disappear in the name of Apocalypse, but no one really believes in it. Except for the Scheduled End Department itself. Starved of resources, the devils and lawyers of the SED achieve a surprising amount in Hell, due to the fact that there’s no chance for them to advance in the traditional hierarchy of the company. It would have be “reorganized” into another facet of Hell long ago if not for the fact that it’s headed by a senior partner, known by the twin theonyms GOG and MGOG. Within the department, it’s a whole other underworld. The exact manner of causing the apocalypse I will leave to your discretion, but it definitely involves weird sacrifices and breaking seals. Don’t come up with a way to stop the apocalypse after it’s already triggered. Either the players prevent it or get amazingly creative. The apocalypse itself is more straightforward. The armies of Gog and Magog, which exist on the borders of (somehow) every nation, will arrive to sack and plunder. These warriors wear strange sigils, their kit a combination of ancient and modern styles and items. They are endless and intelligent, and probably have some aggravating ability that makes the PCs roll disadvantage against them constantly. The art below isn’t really what I’m thinking of, but it feels ancient enough:

[Piotr Jabłoński] All crops will fail, old wounds will open, every natural disaster will become a weekly occurrence, and only the one country most loved by the Gods will be spared. Angels and demons will evacuate their faithful, save those needed for the civil war that’s probably going on in Hell. Only the merest fraction has any chance. Now’s a good time for the PCs to say goodbye to the people they care about, or to reflect on why there are so few people who will miss them. - Taseqtis is a material like black iron, from which the walls that keep out the armies of Gog and Magog are made. Armor of Taseqtis confers DR 5 against evil-typed creatures, and fire resistance 5, but will explode when the end-times come. Weapons of teseqtis do +1 damage against evil-typed creatures. Weapons cost an additional 1,500 gp, armor an additional 3,000.

[whospeaksgnoll]

Planar Pirate

Another random encounter enemy for the planar void, mechanically based on the ethereal filcher. Raiders between planes, planar pirates sail the chaotic void, preying upon monsters, outsiders, and the occasional moral traveller. Just a step above the mutants of the void, they band together to survive where no normal thing can.

Each resembles a human only passingly, with exotic appearances, hair, mutations, clothing, and effects. Generally, they have a rubbery, colorful, lithe humanoid form.

Though certainly pirates, their psychology resembles little of the romanticized notion of pirates on the material plane. Their ships often go years without seeing other sentient life, and they require the loot from their raids to survive the remaining time. A planar pirate is desperate, patient, cruel, and without hedonistic vice. Their captains are more likely sensei or exiled tyrants than Jack Sparrow.

Planar Pirate CR 2

CE Medium Outsider

Init +8; Senses Low-light 60 ft., magicsense 30 ft., Perception +9

DEFENSE

AC 17, touch 14, flat-footed 13 (+4 Dex, +3 studded leather)

hp 22 (5d8)

Fort +1, Ref +5, Will +5

OFFENSE

Speed 40 ft.

Melee boarding axe +7 (1d6)

STATISTICS

Str 10, Dex 18, Con 11, Int 9, Wis 12, Cha 10

Base Atk +3; CMB +3 (+5 steal); CMD 17 (19 vs. trip)

Feats Improved Steal, Improved Initiative, Weapon Finesse

Skills Acrobatics +11, Climb +8, Sleight of Hand +9, Profession (sailor) +6

Languages one random

SPECIAL ABILITIES

Ethereal Escape (Su)

The planar pirate is able to slip into the Ethereal Plane as a move action. They can remain in the Ethereal Plane for two rounds before they must use a move action to shift back to the Material Plane.

Magicsense (Su)

Planar Pirates can sense the presence of active magic spells and magic items (as the detect magic) spell within 30 ft. This sense is always active but can be fooled by spells that disguise magic auras or by areas of dead magic.

[whospeaksgnoll]

Fetid Shark

Another of the dangers I’ve come up with for random encounters in the planar void, fetid sharks are the apex predators of the planar void. Capable of eating whole crews, there are many tales that the fetid sharks have a cruel intelligence behind their jet-black eyes.

Fetid sharks are frightfully large, creatures with skin like jagged knives along a distended putty-soft flesh. Their specially adapted fins allow them to glide through the void. Often, there will be other creatures living on or within the fetid shark, sometimes including ramshackle settlements.

Fetid Shark

N Colossal animal (extraplanar)

Init +2; Perception +38; frightful presence (360 ft., DC 30)

AC 39, touch 0, flat-footed 39 (-2 Dex, +39 natural, -8 size)

hp 449 (29d12+261)

Fort +25, Ref +14, Will +24

DR 20/magic; Spell Pestilence 33

Speed 40 ft., fly 250 ft. (clumsy)

Melee bite +37 (4d8+24/19-20 plus grab), 2 slams +37 (4d6+16), tail slap +35 (4d6+24)

Space 30 ft.; Reach 20 ft. (30 ft. with bite)

Special Attacks swallow whole (5d6 acid damage, AC 49, 45 hp), crush (Large creatures, DC 33, 4d6+24), tail sweep (Medium creatures, DC 27, 2d8+24)

Str 43, Dex 6, Con 29, Int 2, Wis 23, Cha 6

Base Atk +29; CMB +53; CMD 61 (65 vs. trip)

Feats Cleave, Critical Focus, Staggering Critical Greater Vital Strike, Improved Critical (bite), Improved Initiative, Improved Iron Will, Improved Vital Strike, Iron Will, Multiattack, Power Attack, Improved Grapple, Stunning Critical, Vital Strike, Flyby Attack

Skills Fly +14, Perception +38, Stealth +14, Swim +20

Languages none

Capsize (Ex)

A fetid shark can attempt to capsize a boat or ship by ramming it as a charge attack and making a CMB check. The DC of this check is 25, or the result of the captain’s Profession (sailor) check, whichever is higher. For each size category the ship is larger than the shark’s size, the whale takes a cumulative –10 penalty on this CMB check.

Spell Pestilence (Ex)

Anyone who casts a harmful spell on a fetid shark must make a DC 33 caster level check. If they fail, the spell either fails and the caster is sickened, or the caster becomes staggered for one round and sickened for one minute.

[whospeaksgnoll]

Coross

The coross is a creature at home in the space between planes. It hungers for planar material, because it makes a more substantial meal than anything in its environs. The creature is a little dumb, and unused to truly dangerous prey.

It looks like a man-eating squid that was stuffed into a hawk with rust chips instead of feathers. Instead of a beak, it shows a chittering insectile head.

This creature is essentially an extraplanar version of the rust monster, and it has several nasty tricks for an unprepared party. You might consider taking mercy if a coross happens onto the deck of their interplanar ship and have it flee after grabbing a bite to eat.

Coross

N Large aberration

Init +3; Senses Lifesense 100 ft., darkvision 60 ft.; Perception +12

DEFENSE

AC 22, touch 12, flat-footed 19 (+3 Dex, +10 natural, –1 size)

hp 95 (10d8+50)

Fort +9, Ref +8, Will +8

Resist fire 10; SR 16

OFFENSE

Speed 40 ft., burrow 20 ft., climb 20 ft.

Melee 2 tendrils +12 touch (shatter or annihilate), bite +14 (1d8+8)

Space 10 ft.; Reach 5 ft. (15 ft. with antennae)

Special Attacks bloodrust, rust

STATISTICS

Str 27, Dex 17, Con 19, Int 2, Wis 13, Cha 8

Base Atk +7; CMB +16; CMD 29 (33 vs. trip)

Feats Great Fortitude, Lightning Reflexes, Multiattack, Skill Focus (Perception), Toughness

Skills Perception +12, Stealth +7

SQ lifesense

SPECIAL ABILITIES

Shatter (Ex)

A coross that makes a successful touch attack with a tendril causes the target metal to corrode, falling to pieces and becoming useless immediately. The touch can destroy up to a 10-foot cube of metal instantly. Magic armor and weapons, and other magic items made of metal, must succeed on a DC 23 Fortitude save or be dissolved. Against creatures made of metal, a corosss tendril deals 6d6+10 points of damage. The save DC is Constitution-based and includes a +4 racial bonus. A metal weapon that deals damage to a coross corrodes immediately. Wooden, stone, and other nonmetallic weapons are not immediately affected.

Lifesense (Ex)

A coross can sense the thrumming slush of organic beings to such a fine degree that it can perfectly discern the location of any organic creature, including undead, as if it could see it clearly, out to a range of 100 feet. Stone, wood, invisibility, and magical barriers are incapable of blocking this sense.

Annihilate (Ex)

A brush from a coross’s tendrils against flesh or thin clothing instantly consumes some of the target, tearing through the skin in a fine mist and causing 1d4 points of Constitution damage.

Spell Halving (Ex)

Anyone who casts a harmful spell on a coross must make a DC 20 caster level check. If they fail, the spell either fails or affects both the coross and the individual, caster’s choice.

[whospeaksgnoll]

Senior Partners

In my Pathfinder setting, Hell is a Wolfram and Hart style evil bureaucracy. “Lawyer” is the profession of most powerful NPCs from that plane. The Devil, and most evil gods of each pantheon are considered “junior partners” of the firm. Up until now, I haven’t actually tried to figure out what a senior partner of Hell would be like, because if the Devil isn’t high enough ranked to be one, then they’re probably too important to include in most stories. Still, it’s a piece of worldbuilding I’m interested in working out. There’s a few alternatives I’m currently considering.

Greater Gods

This seems like the most straightforward choice. There are more primordial forces than Satan, and they’re basically him at a higher order of magnitude. Where a junior partner is one of the leaders in corrupting a world, senior partners are evil gods drawing profane power from multiple planes or negotiating with entire pantheons. They’re colossal outsiders that do sanity damage to mere mortals, even to be looked up. Probably they’ve got crazy names like Zzanxerox the Sinuous. You can climb around on them and they have encounters inside themselves like meaty minidungeons.

Powerful NPCs

This puts more emphasis on Hell as an enterprise, that people can embark on for profoundly selfish but basically understandable reasons. These are folks who are powerful enough to kill demigods because high-level characters are the scariest thing around. Basically the PCs of some other story. Each one has some pulpy story about their rise to power, like they zombified an entire plane or turned each of their bones into a phylactery or killed an archangel and invested the soul wisely, turning it into a fortune over the centuries on the soul market.

Bureaucrats

Doubles down on Hell as a bureaucracy. Why would the highest ranked people be the most physically powerful when their job requires excellent paperwork and leadership skills. Bearded devils with expert levels and skill focus (profession: lawyer.) Wizards who focus on maximizing workplace efficiency spells. The higher up you go, the more banal and meaningless it seems. Maybe in the deepest reaches of Hell, there’s a nice suburban getaway for Senior Partners to raise 2.5 kids and form bowling leagues.

Concepts

The Devil is a personification of evil, and in a way that’s comforting. Senior Partners aren’t about being comforting. Evil, pain, and hatred are not intrinsic or necessary. Instead, they confer in their obsidian hall, discussing how best to cause suffering across all existence. Nigh-unkillable even compared to a god, they are difficult for mortals to comprehend. Possibly not even alive in the usual way. The First Evil from Buffy is a similar sort of concept.

Grand Conspiracy

There are no senior partners.The whole top of the Hellish hierarchy, whom millions kill and die to join, is just the grandest of all grand lies. Perhaps it’s an illusion created by a council of good and neutral gods who feel opposition is required in the universe. Perhaps there’s one very stressed elf trying to bring it all down from within but, Producers-style, fails to fully fail. Perhaps it’s the burbling nightmares of a crippled demiurger, like Cthulhu beached on the shoals of existence. Maybe it’s three gnomes in a trenchcoat.

[whospeaksgnoll]

Inquisitor Archetype: Arsonist

An archetype for the inquisitor that favors fire not only as an element, but as a means of erasing the past.

Weapon Proficiency

Arsonists are proficient with torches in addition to the weapons typical of an inquisitor. They are not proficient with the favored weapon of their deity.

Fire Starter

When selecting domains and inquisitions, the arsonist must choose the fire (arson) domain. They gain the bonus spells listed for the domain, as well as bonus spell slots, which must be used for that domain..

Constant Companion

The arsonist is shielded by a flickering aura, gaining 2 points of fire resistance. The protection increases by 2 for every three inquisitor levels they possess. At eight level, they are immune to damage from mundane fire, and smoke does not hamper their ability to see. They may not use the resiliency, resistance, or piercing judgments.

Up in Flames

Starting at third level, fires started by the arsonist ignore the hardness of flammable objects and spread unnaturally quickly.

Add spark to the arsonist’s spell list. At third level, as a move action, the inquisitor can choose to cast the spell with improved effect, causing five feet of a flammable material to catch fire. An arsonist can use this ability number of times per day equal to her Wisdom modifier. This replaces the solo tactics ability.

Truth in the Glow

At fifth level, as a swift action, arsonist can imbue their weapons with a fraction of fiery power. For 1 round, theirs weapons deal +1 fire damage For every five caster levels you possess, this bonus increases by +1, to a maximum of +5 at 20th level. This replaces discern lies.

Burn Weakness

At fourteenth level, arsonists may convert half of the fire damage they inflict into divine damage. This replaces the exploit weakness ability.

[whospeaksgnoll]

Omen

The blood weeping from the cosmic wounds of the world, Omens are the unnatural hijacking of reality by a terrible Encroaching Outside.

An Omen could take almost any form, such as a beast of stone and gums, a doe with a stillborn fawn dangling between its legs, a stag with another stag’s severed head caught by the antlers, a hundred crucified squirrels, a whirling gyre diagram, or something more conceptual.

Omen

Medium typeless creature

Init +6; Senses blindsight, scent; Perception +14

DEFENSE

AC 15, touch 12, flat-footed 13 (+2 Dex, +3 natural)

hp 60

Fort +8, Ref +6, Will +7

Mindless, Spell Tearing 18.

OFFENSE

Speed 40 ft.

Melee 2 tendrils +7 (1d6+2 and assume, reach 15) bite +5 (1d6+2),

Special Attacks assume

STATISTICS

Str 15, Dex 15, Con 19, Int 2, Wis 12, Cha -

Base Atk +3; CMB +5; CMD 17

Feats weapon focus (tendrils), improved natural weapon

Skills Acrobatics +10 (+22 jump), Perception +14, Stealth +15

Assume (Ex)

Whenever an Omen successfully damages a creature with it’s tendril attack, it assumes one of their abilities. It may cast a spell that creature knows and has available as an immediate action, using their stats to do so. It may acquire an attack that creature is using, replacing its bite with that character’s to-hit and damage. It may acquire one of that creature’s save bonuses, feats, or skill bonus. This lasts for one hour.

Spell Tearing (Ex)

When an Omen is targeted by a spell, the spellcaster must roll to overcome spell resistance 18. If they fail, their may choose to either fail to cast the spell or take 1d6 intelligence damage.

[whospeaksgnoll]

Pathfinder Monster: Zombie Hand Swarm

A mindless pile of unnaturally-strong hands, the hand swarm is a favorite trick of urban necromancers to guard their private sanctums, due to its ease of storage and efficient use of resources. At first, a hand swarm may seem to be no more than a grisly collection of amputated hands, seeming as they did in life, but pale and rigid. A DC 25 perception check reveals the occasional twitch of one of the hands, and spells such as detect evil, detect undead, or detect magic are reliable ways of noticing that something is amiss. Hand swarms are created when a necromancer casts Animate Hands on at least twenty severed hands. The hands must be in passable condition— rot is acceptable, so long as most flesh remains and the bones are mostly intact. These hands move as though with one (subsentient) intelligence, and cannot willingly separate. Hands forced to separate will persistently try to return to their siblings, and know unerringly which direction to go to do so. The spell Animate Hands, lesser can create an independent hand with some greater agency.

Zombie Hand Swarm CR 2 NE Tiny undead (swarm) Init +3; Senses low-light vision; Perception +5 AC 15, touch 15, flat-footed 12 (+3 Dex, +2 size) hp 25 (3d8+9+3) Fort +0, Ref +8, Will +2 Defensive Abilities half damage from weapons, swarm traits, undead immunities Speed 30 ft., climb 20 ft. Melee swarm (1d6 plus grapple) Space 10 ft.; Reach 0 ft. Special Attacks distraction (DC 14) Str 7, Dex 16, Con -, Int -, Wis 12, Cha 11 Base Atk +2; CMB +3 grapple; CMD — Feats Toughness, Improved Grapple Skills Acrobatics +11, Climb +10, Perception +5; Racial Modifiers +4 Acrobatics SQ Darkvision 60 ft. Strangle

-

Animate Hands Necromancy Level: Clr 3, Wch 4, Sor/Wiz 3 Components: V, S, M (an onyx gem worth at least 75 gp) Casting Time: Ten Minutes Range: 0 ft. Effect: Animate 20-100 hands. Duration: Instantaneous Saving Throw: none Spell Resistance: No You animate a mindless pile of unnaturally-strong hands. See Zombie Hand Swarm in the Bestiary. This counts against your total HD max for animating dead.

Animate Hands, Lesser Necromancy Level: Clr 2, Wch 3, Sor/Wiz 2 Components: V, S, M (an onyx gem worth at least 25 gp) Casting Time: Five Minutes Range: 0 ft. Effect: Animate 1 undead Duration: Instantaneous Saving Throw: none Spell Resistance: No You animate an intelligent unnaturally-strong hand. It has the stats of a crawling hand, except that it has intelligence 12, strength 15, and improved grapple. It does not suffer penalties for grappling creatures larger than it unless they are large or larger. This counts against your total HD maximum for animating dead.

[whospeaksgnoll]

Pathfinder Monster: Venous

When blood is pressed by extreme pressure, by an oceanic pressure, it wraps around and amongst itself and, where the boundaries of the planes are thin, Venouses are created. With a body composed entirely of blood and a mind composed of whatever aetheric thing accidented into its form, Venouses are unpredictable gorgers, needing over a gallon of blood each day to survive. A Venous is typically humanoid, a glistening red form covered in a thin pus membrane. Standing at about seven feet tall, it sports long teeth and longer claws. It isn’t their wounds that are deadly, but the life-draining effect contact with them has. A victim finds themselves quickly hematized, turned into nothing more than a thick puddle of blood. If this creature ever encounters a vampire or other blood-dependent creature, it will instinctively attack. Venouses can be summoned by a ritual known to a select few. In addition to knowing the ritual, it has a craft (alchemy) DC of 25 and requires knowledge of blood biography and summon monster III. Multiple individuals can work together to complete this ritual.

Venous CR 5 N Large aberration Init +5; Senses tremorsense 60 ft.; Perception +13 AC 16, touch 10, flat-footed 15 (+1 Dex, +6 natural, –1 size) hp 38 (7d8 plus 7); fast healing 3 Fort +4; Ref +3; Will +5 DR 10/magic and bludgeoning; Immune mind-affecting effects; Resist fire 10 Weaknesses vulnerability to negative energy and bleed Speed 30 ft., swim 30 ft. Melee 2 slams +7 (1d4+3 plus hematize) Space 10 ft.; Reach 5 ft. Str 17, Dex 12, Con 10, Int 2, Wis 11, Cha 1 Base Atk +5; CMB +9; CMD 20 Feats Great Fortitude, Improved Initiative, Skill Focus (Perception), Toughness Skills Perception +13, Swim +11 Hematize (Ex) Each time a Venous hits a living opponent with a slam attack, they take 1d2 constitution damage. If a Venous successfully hits an opponent with both of its slam attacks in a single round, that opponent suffers catastrophic blood expulsion, taking 2d4 points of Constitution damage (DC 15 Fortitude save for half). Vulnerability to negative energy and bleed (Ex) A Venous is slowed (as the spell) for 1d4 rounds by any negative energy or bleed attacks or effects. The spell transmute blood to acid is automatically successful against Venouses and does maximum damage.

[whospeaksgnoll]

Pathfinder Race: Princes

Princes are the primary denizens of Principalatinate, a plane host to a vast city which forms the hub of interplanar trade. Cunning and strong, each Prince claims rulership of a far-off city on another plane, to which they usually have fleeting or absent connections. A prince resembles both a lion and a fox, though it is capable of speech and intelligent thought. The oldest and most cunning princes age in a strange way. Their face gradually separates into two— one with leonine features, the other with vulpine ones. These faces do not have separate personalities. Two-faced Princes get a +3 luck bonus to all attack, damage, and ability checks, as well as saving throws. Princes may have additional class levels.They are often monks, rogues, bards, or enchanters. Magic users gestalt with their racial hit dice, and sorcerers are often of the destined bloodline. Princes usually admit no strong religious convictions, but have knowledge of and placate the God of the Gaps, patron of secrets and forbidden knowledge.

Prince CR 4 LN Large Magical Beast Init +7; Senses low-light vision, scent; Perception +9 AC 15, touch 12, flat-footed 12 (+3 Dex, +3 natural, –1 size) hp 32 (5d8+10) Fort +6, Ref +7, Will +2 Speed 40 ft. Melee bite +7 (1d8+5 plus grab), 2 claws +7 (1d4+5) Space 10 ft.; Reach 5 ft. Special Attacks pounce, rake (2 claws +7, 1d4+5), sneak attack +2d6 Str 21, Dex 17, Con 15, Int 10, Wis 12, Cha 12 Base Atk +3; CMB +9 (+13 grapple); CMD 22 (26 vs. trip) Feats Improved Initiative, Run, Skill Focus (Perception) Skills Acrobatics +7, Perception +9, Stealth +8, +12 knowledge (history), +12 profession (soldier); Racial Modifiers +7 knowledge (history), +7 profession (soldier) Outrageous Fortune (SLA) Once per day, after another intelligent creature has rolled a d20, you may force them to reroll it and take the second result. If roll has a luck bonus of at least +1, you cannot use this ability. Prehensile Quadraped (Ex) Princes can easily hold and use items in their two forepaws, but have difficulty using held weapons. When in their natural form, they are never proficient with held weapons. Their claws and teeth can be enchanted as magic weapons. Familiar Nature (Ex) Princes have minds and natures very similar to humanoids, and as such can be targeted by hostile spells that target humanoids, such as charm person.

[whospeaksgnoll]

Pathfinder Monster: Plane Coiler

A monster I created for a plane-jumping campaign. I needed to put some things the space between worlds. It ended up being mostly weird aberrations, rust monsters, and things like this: A creature that makes its home between planes, the Plane Coiler is a creature with a reptilian humanoid torso and a draped tail between thirty and fifty feet. They often wander, capable of living without food or a home but constantly searching for materials they don’t have, such as flesh. The Plane Coiler varies in hue from brown to green to a dull purple. Many ressemble attractive humanoids but are terribly ashamed of their monstrous features, turning instead to try to revel in their otherness and avoid being close with others. A Plane Coiler is most likely to be encountered on an interplanar voyage. They may be accompanied by a small pack of cadavers, an imprisoned gorgon, zealous servants, or a mate. Plane Coilers are capable of teaching the create cocoa spell, though seldom do.

Plane Coiler CR 8 LE Large aberration Init +5; Senses darkvision 60 ft., detect thoughts; Perception +19 DEFENSE AC 22, touch 15, flat-footed 16 (+5 Dex, +1 dodge, +7 natural, –1 size) hp 85 (10d8+40) Fort +7, Ref +10, Will +9 (+11 vs. charm effects) Defensive Abilities guarded thoughts; Immune poison OFFENSE Speed 40 ft. Melee billao +8 (1d4+2), tail +8 (2d4+2 plus coil) Space 5 ft. plus draped tail; Reach 5 ft. Spells Known (CL 7th) 3rd (5/day)—displacement, ray of exhaustion* 2nd (7/day)—boneshaker*, compassionate ally, bloodbath* 1st (7/day)—advanced scurvy*, cause fear, murderous command, ray of sickening*, stunning barrier 0 (at will)—mending, light, detect poison, bleed, create cocoa, read magic, purify food and drink STATISTICS Str 14, Dex 21, Con 18, Int 16, Wis 15, Cha 17 Base Atk +7; CMB +10 (+12 grappling); CMD 26 (can’t be tripped) Feats Improved Grapple, Combat Casting, Dodge, Spell Focus (necromancy*), Greater Spell Focus Skills Bluff +13, Diplomacy +9, Disguise +7, Escape Artist +13, Intimidate +12, Knowledge (arcana) +13, Perception +17, Sense Motive +10, Spellcraft +12, Stealth +16 Languages Common, Draconic SPECIAL ABILITIES Detect Thoughts (Su) A Plane Coiler can continuously use detect thoughts as per the spell (caster level 9th; Will DC 18 negates). The save DC is Charisma-based. Guarded Thoughts (Ex) Plane Coilers are immune to any form of mind reading, such as that granted by detect thoughts. This ability also grants a +2 racial bonus on all saves against charm effects. Coil (Ex) A Plane Coiler that hits with its tail may grapple for free. At the start of its turn, it may affect a grappled foe as though by swallow whole. (3d6 bludgeoning damage, AC 13, 9 hp) Plane Coiler cast spells as 7th-level oracles.

[whospeaksgnoll]

Pathfinder Monster: Mortalist Demon

From the depths of Hell come the mortalist demon. Clannish and capricious, even compared to other infernal denizens, they often form small raiding parties and crash into native planes, damning what souls they can so that they may fill their cauldrons with the thicker stew of souls. Squat like dwarves, mortalists are usually naked, showing off their rubbery yet pronounced musculature. Easy to spot, they come in gross colors— puke yellow, the worst vermillion, a sick neon pink. Each demon carries two pig iron machetes. During combat, it will scream blasphemies. Under normal circumstances, mortalist demons cannot be summoned by planar ally spells or similar means. Some Mortalist Demons are “trash kings,” who usually eschew weapons. Instead, they may empower an ally’s damn ability, increasing the DC by 3. Otherwise, they may force a foe with at least one damnation feat to attack a target of their choice, using the Mortalist’s to-hit and damage modifiers, +2 damage for each damnation feat the character has. If using this ability to affect a spellcaster, the trash king may cast a spell of a level up to half the character’s highest spell level, rounding up. This does not expend the spellcaster’s spell.

Mortalist Demon CE medium outsider (demon, evil, chaotic) Init +2; Senses darkvision; Perception +8 AC 15, touch 11, flat-footed 13 (+2 Dex, +4 natural, –1 size) hp 30 (4d10+8) Fort +6, Ref +6, Will +2 Speed 50 ft. Melee machetes +8 or +6/+6 (1d6+6 19/20 plus trip and damn, fragile) Space 10 ft.; Reach 10 ft. Str 18, Dex 15, Con 15, Int 8, Wis 13, Cha 6 Base Atk +3; CMB +8 (+10 trip); CMD 20 Feats improved trip, two-weapon fighting Skills Perception +8, Stealth +7, Heal +5, Knowledge (planes) +6 Damn (SLA) Whenever a Mortalist deals damage to a humanoid or native outsider, that creature must make a DC 15 will save or gain a damnation feat, of the creature’s choice. Alignment changes from this ability are not at their full effect, and afflicted characters tend more towards being dark and edgy than evil. These feats can be removed by any effect that removes curses. If a character has a damnation feat from another source, this ability has no effect.

[whospeaksgnoll]

Pathfinder Race: Illumians

I was always interested in the 3.5 Illumian race. They’re beings of pure language.

Illumians get +2 to any one attribute. 

They gain the rune (language) domain, treating their character level as their cleric level and their highest mental stat as wisdom for the purpose of ability to use these spells and abilities. 

Whenever they gain a rank in linguistics, they learn another language (or gain a language point if using the alternate language rules.)

[whospeaksgnoll]

Pathfinder Monster: Keynesian Bull

A fundamental force, the Keynesian Bull is a creature of economics personified. Loved for its ability to provide wealth, the bull has no love or hatred for anyone, impassively conferring bounty, even as its recipients buckle under the weight of wealth Resembling an enormous bull, this creature is utterly smooth, and seems to be more like metal than fur and flesh. Its long horns are black onyx, and wine fills its hoofprints in the mud. Though the economancers of Keynes know better, many try to subdue Keynesian Bulls for their own enrichment. While this is sometimes possible, a curse of greed is said to visit those who attempt it, destroying the facility and freeing the bull. In any case, Keynesian Bulls will usually die if left in captivity. They can avoid biological death by transdifferentiating, which involves reproducing with a Keynesian Bear.

Keynesian Bull N Huge magical creature Init +1; Senses low-light vision; Perception +8 AC 20, touch 9, flat-footed 18 (+1 Dex, +11 natural, –2 size) hp 85 (9d8+45) Fort +10, Ref +7, Will +3 Speed 40 ft. Melee gore +14 (2d6+15) Space 15 ft.; Reach 15 ft. Spell-Like Abilities (CL 12th; concentration +16) 3/day, cash Special Attacks trample (3d8+15, DC 24), consumer confidence (DC 24) Str 31, Dex 12, Con 19, Int 4, Wis 11, Cha 4 Base Atk +6; CMB +18; CMD 29 Feats Diehard, Endurance, Improved Natural Attack (gore), Power Attack, Toughness Skills Perception +8, Swim +17, profession (economist) +30 Consumer Confidence (Su) Upon entering within 100 feet of a Keynesian Bull, foes must make a DC 24 will save or profession (economist) check, or else be filled with a surge of confidence in the economy. Failure inflicts a curse of consumer confidence. Those afflicted, cannot help but do things in the most expensive way possible. They cannot be convinced that a loan or investment is a bad idea. Every five rounds an unaffected creature spend nears the Bull requires another check. Cash (SLA) As a full-round action, a Keynesian Bull can consume valuables worth up to 500 gp, replacing them with distinctive red gems worth 150% of the valuables consumed. These gems deteriorate and disappear after one year. They are easy to discern via detect magic.

[whospeaksgnoll]

Pathfinder Spell: Tarski’s Impossible Duplicate

Conjuration [summoning] Level: sorcerer/wizard 6 Casting Time: 2 rounds Components: S Range: touch Target: one item in your possession Duration: 10 minutes Saving Throw: will (if item is intelligent) Spell Resistance: yes You create a copy of one item you possess by shattering it and assembling two identical copies. If it is magical, both are. After the spell’s duration, both fall apart and are permanently destroyed. This spell cannot be cast on some artifacts, especially if they normally require complicated means of destruction.

[whospeaksgnoll]

Yet Another Lizardfolk Race

Eulogy get +2 dexterity, +2 wisdom, and -2 intelligence.

They get +2 to swim and climb. 

They are immune to the negative effects of being prone, being real floppy, and may communicate with reptiles. 

During the first round of a combat, they deal +2 damage against flat-footed opponents.

[whospeaksgnoll]

Pathfinder Monster: Keynesian Bear

A fundamental force, the Keynesian Bull is a creature of economics personified. Feared for its ability to destroy wealth, the bear has no love or hatred for anyone, impassively conferring ruin, even as opportunities form in its wake Resembling an enormous bear, this creature is utterly smooth, and seems to be more like metal than fur and flesh. Its matted steel skin is filled with rot, and a foul stink follows it Though the economancers of Keynes know better, many try to kill Keynesian Bulls or drive them towards their enemies. While this is sometimes possible, a curse of greed is said to visit those who attempt it, crashing their own enterprises at least as fully. Keynesian Bears can avoid biological death by transdifferentiating, which involves reproducing with a Keynesian Bull.

Keynesian Bear N Huge magical creature Init +1; Senses low-light vision, scent; Perception +12 AC 18, touch 10, flat-footed 17 (+1 Dex, +8 natural, –1 size) hp 95 (10d8+50) Fort +12, Ref +8, Will +4 Speed 40 ft. Melee 2 claws +13 (1d6+7 plus grab), bite +13 (1d8+7) Space 10 ft.; Reach 5 ft. Spell-Like Abilities (CL 12th; concentration +16) 3/day, crash Special Attacks trample (3d8+15, DC 24), Mass Hysteria (DC 24) Str 25, Dex 13, Con 21, Int 2, Wis 12, Cha 10 Base Atk +7; CMB +15 (+19 grapple); CMD 26 (30 vs. trip) Feats Diehard, Endurance, Iron Will, Run, Skill Focus (Perception) Skills Perception +12, Swim +19, profession (economist) +30 Mass Hysteria (Su) Upon entering within 100 feet of a Keynesian Bear, foes must make a DC 24 will save or profession (economist) check, or else be filled with a surge of fear about the economy. Failure inflicts a curse of mass hysteria. Those afflicted, cannot help but do things in the most miserly way possible. They cannot trust others with their money or be optimistic about the economy. Every five rounds they spend near the Bear requires another check. Crash (SLA) As a full-round action, a Keynesian Bear can afflict items worth up to a total of 4,000 gp within 100 feet, replacing them with distinctly worse versions. Magical weapons lose potency, masterwork weapons lose the quality, basic weapons break, etc. In the case of magical items worth 1,000 gp or more can be restored by the spells remove curse or remove enchantment.