fuckedupyetalive

fucked up broken like hell

[whydowesaygoodbye]

i’m just so pathetic. I spend my time thinking of the girl you loved. A girl’s who’s the complete opposite of me. She’s blonde, with beautiful blue eyes. She’s outgoing and extroverted. I’m left alone and more insecure since you left. I can’t change who i am, it’s been hard accepting that.

[authenticity2025]

[closet-keys]

not to be a misogynist doctor from the 1800s but i’m pretty sure my uterus is moving around my body, biting my other organs, and also is possessed by the devil

[whydowesaygoodbye]

Okay so am I the only one that moves on from a person by forcing myself to believe that they never actually existed and it was all a dream?

[whydowesaygoodbye]

I told a guy I have abandonment issues and his response was to make me love him and then leave.

[whydowesaygoodbye]

Hey it’s me again.

It’s currently 1:25am and I’m thinking about you. Writing this note as I don’t have the balls to send it to you. I haven’t seen you in two weeks. How are you? You are on my mind every day. I only met you two months ago but I feel like I’ve known you for so long. How did I get so attached in the span of two months? You had to leave for me to realise how much I care for you. I think I decided to care for you that night you stayed over. We just lied there on the bed and opened up. That night I actually managed to rest and didn’t let my insomnia get the best of me. Why did you leave? Why did you have to be the first person I decide to let in? I miss you.

[whydowesaygoodbye]

Words of a psychopath.

I fell for your eyes. The emptiness, the void, the overwhelming sadness. What’s going on inside your head? Are you happy you’re with me? Why aren’t you leaving? I’m waiting for you to go. Why are you staying? Can’t you see I’m crazy? I’m crazy, I’m broken, I’m fucked up. I love your eyes. I don’t want to make them cry. If you trust me I’ll probably steal that sadness and what will be left?

[whydowesaygoodbye]

Fuck you.

I miss you.

[whydowesaygoodbye]

It’s midnight and I’m sitting in that bench rolling a cig. Remember? The bench near the sea that we sat on and talked for hours. Remember? We used to listen to music and you laid your head gently in my thighs and gazed at the stars. Remember? The night I stared in your eyes and gave you my heart. I didn’t have to say anything specific, a glare was enough. You were the person I trusted with my soul. When you were there I knew I was safe. I was noticed. I was understood. I didn’t know what you were. A friend, a boyfriend, an acquaintance. I just knew I loved you.

It’s been a few months since we last spoke, more than a year since we last met yet your eyes still haunt my mind.

[whydowesaygoodbye]

Being fucking ghosted by your best friend hits different

[whydowesaygoodbye]

I’m high from my sadness

[whydowesaygoodbye]

You give you time, energy and thought to other people’s issues.You don’t wait for something in return because you don’t feel like you deserve anything. The only thing that gives you hope is other people’s happiness. All you get from others is hatred and cruelty. They break your heart, they traumatize you and make you feel unworthy. You don’t stand for yourself even though you’d fight for any stranger who’s being treated the exact same way.

How does that make sense?

Is it just me?

[whydowesaygoodbye]

Free

I want it to stop hurting

I want to stop feeling ashamed of who I am

I want to stop feeling guilty after eating a meal

I want to stop hurting myself for not living up to society’s standards

I want to not care about the way I look and behave

I want to be myself without doubting my every action

I want to stop being afraid

I want to be free

[bnmxfld]

“How beautiful to find a heart that loves you, without asking you for anything, but to be okay.”

— Khalil Gibran

[whydowesaygoodbye]

I just want love. I want to receive the same love I give. Is that so much to ask?

[whydowesaygoodbye]

I want to get drunk and forget.

[quotefeeling]

“When I was young, I used to admire intelligent people; as I grow older, I admire kind people.”

— Abraham Joshua Heschel