The Signs as Things Overheard in Dorms:
Aries: “If I hear someone sing Hamilton in the shower again I’m joining them so I can drown them.”
Taurus: *faintly as though yelled from a room down the hall* “Can you come hand me my swiss rolls? My head spins if I sit up.”
Gemini: “Wow, this Heineken has such a smooth finish!”
Cancer: “Someone just gave me free cake. Should I be worried?”
Leo: “He talks like he thinks the world is waiting with bated breath to hear what he thinks about Fight Club.”
Virgo: “How much caffeine is poisonous? Asking for myself, I’m actually worried.”
Libra: “That’s the fourth time this week that you’ve brought up cannibalizing me. Should I be worried?”
Scorpio: “So needless to say, she peed on me”
Sagittarius: “How did they manage to get that in BOTH shower stalls?”
Capricorn: “Why is capricorn sitting in a box in the hallway with a sweatervest draped over his head?” “Stress.”
Aquarius: “Do you think I can fit a whole orange in my mouth?” OR “Whats the difference between an undergraduate research assistant and a random nosy 19 year old? Less than you’d think!”
Pisces: “Let Bob Ross caress your happy little struggles away.”
