My Poetry Outlet

I am 19 years old but I know too much. I have a boyfriend of over a year and I LOVE poetry like it's my last dying breath, it's my oxygen and my life force. Poetry is the reason why I'm still living, still walking on this earth. POETRY IS MY OUTLET

[wiltedrose219]

Little things about me

I get anxious

I get worried

I make scenarios in my head

I cry

I have comfort stuffed animals at 19

I re-read conversations to make sure I didn't say anything wrong

I double text, even triple to make sure you remember me

I fear being forgotten, its terrifying

I hate or love you at the first meeting

I am either terribly shy, or terribly loud

I flinch at loud voices, loud noises

I absolutely hate violence, I will find a small place to hide

I think everyone hates me

I think I have no friends

I think I am alone constantly

I am suicidal, I DON'T WANT to die

I have a morbid fear of death or dying

I have scars

I cry to myself silently over scenarios I made up in my head

I AM CLINGY

I have seperation anxiety, I don't like not seeing somebody I care about for too long or I feel like they do not need me anymore.

I hate high fives, I feel like I might get hit

I hate sudden movement, I feel afraid

I hate dark places

I love silence

I act tough but I cry in private

I take EVERYTHING to heart

Jokes don't exist to me, I take everything literal

I am either smart or incrediable stupid

I am incrediable insecure

I hate but love my body

I sometimes am confidence, but even the slightest mistake destroys it.

I assume A LOT, ^ (make fake scenerios) to protect myself but it gets me introuble

I AM NOT PERFECT, I SHOULDN'T BE EXPECTED OF THAT.

Sincerely

Teha

[wiltedrose219]

As you grow up, you realize that the friends that said they would always check up on you- never let you fall apart or be there when you felt hopeless are the same friends who'd post themselves having the time of their lives with other people or going to exotic places without even bothering to invite you; as you grow older you realize that sometimes its better to not bother at all because eventually they forget you- cause you were never important to begin with; just a stepping stone to their ladder in life.

Teha Brown

[wiltedrose219]

Things get dark inside, so dark like the night sky- the darkest shade of black and all I can think off is how to bring the brightest piece of light inside of me.

Teha Brown

#poem #poetry #darkness #dark #writer #poet #brightestpiece #oflight

[wiltedrose219]

"The darkness calls my name, it speaks to me in ways that haunt my mind. The darkness is like a snake, wrapping itself around me squeezing the life out of me. The darkness loves it's role, to kill me slowly without loosing control."

Teha Brown

[wiltedrose219]

I'm not good enough, not good enough to be called yours, not good enough to lay in your arms that look like sunshine to my dark days, I'm not good enough to be loved by your body in ways I didn't know existed. I'm not good enough to feel your heart under my palm and know it belongs to me, I'm not good enough yet I love you.

Teha Brown

[wiltedrose219]

I fear love, I fear the undying moment you have with each other. The moments of weakness, the hopeful promises and the late night conversations about your dreams and future together. I fear the dates, moving so fast and the time together getting longer and the feeling of it being so fucking real. I fear it might end, I fear love but I couldn't live without the feeling of being in somebodys arms.

Teha Brown

[wiltedrose219]

She was a delusional mess, enchanted by the pages of a dream she couldn't escape because she was loving the way his fingers ran through her hair and his lips touched every part of her soul. He loved her, she didn't want to leave and so fucking be it. She would stay in this fantasy world until her last dying breath, entangled in the arms of the man she couldn't live without.

Teha Brown

[wiltedrose219]

💔I love you, I don't want to be who I was. I don't want to be the controlling girl I was with everyone else, yet I want to the only girl in your eyes and the only body in your soul but I also don't want jealousy to become my enemy. They are just bodies, while I am your girlfriend the one you rather be with. This relationship is perfect, I will not become a monster again. That is my biggest fear, becoming the girl I once was and you realizing who I truly can become, absolute destruction by the thoughts haunting my brain. 💔

Teha Brown

[wiltedrose219]

Realized

I realized that words never last

I realized the things I type are just vibrations

On a tiny phone waiting to be forgotten

~💜Space💜~

I realized that my words are sand, flying

Through the air only noticed by those whose

Eyes catch the grain of sand in their eyeduct

As they share it with those they know

~💜Space💜~

I realized that writing words down on paper

Doesn't last, paper decays over time

Oranging a the touch as pen ink starts to fade

Words are like invisible shards of glass

Stabbing our heart with emotion, then never seen again

~💜Space💜~

I realized that one day, all my words will fade

Become like a gust of wind on a warm day

Like fog on a mirror, then you open the door

They will become a memory of a girl whose words were her song

~💜Space💜~

I realized one day, far from now I will be nothing

Nothing but a girl who wrote with her soul

Then died within a pen of emotions, ink poured on her rotting corpse

Letting her soul to continue writing words,

Letting it fly on the skin of the new minds filled with words she couldn't ink

~💜Space💜~

She realized her words were destined to become lost in the midst of growing older

Each day.

[thelovejournals]

Everyone thought they would be friends for decades, forever. But for most people, of course, that hadn’t happened. As you got older, you realized that the qualities you valued in the people you slept with or dated weren’t necessarily the ones you wanted to live with, or be with, or plod through your days with. If you were smart, and if you were lucky, you learned this and accepted this. You figured out what was most important to you and you looked for it, and you learned to be realistic.

Hanya Yanagihara, A Little Life A Little Life (via thelovejournals)

[imawitchywitch]

I want everyone to know your abuse, trauma, mental disorders, and hardships are valid. Hard times do not discriminate. Please, I beg you, be kind to yourself and others. Please, I urge you, talk to others, find a counselor, and get help processing and healing from your trauma. You are a survivor.

[wiltedrose219]

I looked in the mirror today, and I realized I didn't know who I was. It's never to late to change who you are, or how you look as long as you know who you want to be don't change yourself for anybody else's unrealistic standards.

Teha Brown

[wiltedrose219]

I know I don't fit in, that's not what hurts...no what hurts is when your surrounded by a bunch of people who don't even know you exist.

~Teha Brown

[wiltedrose219]

❤️🔥"There are some people with a small flame burning inside, not many people come close because they believe they cannot keep warm or they might freeze. But then there are people who believe in that small flame to keep them warm in the cold, because that small flame is burning with all it's might to survive."❤️🔥

~Teha Brown

[wiltedrose219]

Sticks and stones might break my bones, but remember my fist can break your nose.

Teha Brown (Poetry Is My Outlet)

[wiltedrose219]

The Dark

The dark use to be my friend

Until it started speaking

The dark use to be so nice

Until it started to slice

The dark use to be the light

Reading me to sleep at night

Until it turned into a monster

The dark use to be silent

Now it taunts me with its words

I use to love the dark, now it scares me

The covers cannot save me

The darkness will swallow me, with it's sharp teeth of untainted glory

But that's the thing, the dark is supposed to be your friend

Until it opens you up and sees your thoughts

Your depression becomes it's feast

It starts to drag you under

The dark use to be so beautiful

Until it killed you in your sleep.

~Teha Brown (Poetry Is My Outlet)

[wiltedrose219]

"Don't be afraid to stop and look at who you are because you might not like who you've became."

Unknown