The amazing digital circus episode 9 - Jax Analysis: A Hedgehog's Dilemma
Dissecting the character of Jax
I really love what they did with Jax and his backstory in this episode especially as Pomni ventured into his mind trying to save him from abstraction. His mind sequences was genuinely incredible especially seeing his moments with Ribbit and Kaufmo. He was open with Ribbit about his traumatic past as he grew up with an emotionally absent father and felt like he was mistreated by his mother after he left. He blamed himself for hurting her and couldn't comprehend the idea of receiving affection from her. He had revealed something personal to her and she just laughed in his face. In those moments, Jax felt human and not like he was putting on a performance to those around him. He was open being vulnerable and he didn't have to rely on the toxic masculinity that had been expected for him to maintain and adhere to and just got to express his emotions. Ribbit putting the ribbon on Jax's head shows that she understands what he is going through and accepts him as he is, telling him that she will keep his secret.
The scene read to me as someone coming out as trans and learning to accept those feminine parts of herself. Jax's trans journey remains allegorical through the text but it becomes more clearer the deeper we get entranced in his mind.
The moment someone like Ribbit got too close to seeing his true self, he began to push them away. Jax made Ribbit feel ashamed for ever getting close to him and that was what resulted in her self destruction. Jax pushed away the people close to them, making them feel alone and unwanted to the point they abstracted and that's what makes him such a tragic character. He rejects any notions of femininity so he abuses and bullies the other women in the group because he hasn't yet accepted his identity of being a trans woman, a fact he buries in a thin veil of masculinity. He was free to be his true self but put himself back in the closet the moment anyone else intruded on that space. His intrusive thoughts show many different facades of Jax's self destructive personalities and Pomni has to go all through these different memories, thoughts and fantasies until she begins to understand the true side of Jax. The sadistic side of Jax who has no one to pull him back from that edge after Ragatha's abstraction and hurts anyone that he sees trying to fix him, making moves on Gangle in the maid outfit when Zobble's gone because he assumes that is the fantasy that she likes and the looney tunes side of him that has embraced the luancy of the world and has become a cartoon character. They represent each of Jax's mental facades and what would happen to him if each of the women in his life abstracted as well as the many masks and coping mechanisms he seeks to hide behind. Pomni has to unlock the keys to each door, to very facet of his personality until she finds the real one. The Jax who has chains around his feet. The human part of Jax that she never got to know. Jax could have had a happier life where he could have learned from his mistakes and received the help to do better but he instead chose death over living that stagnant life because he never saw life in the circus as real, it was all a place for him to put on a performance to push away and harm the people around him. Even despite the world breaking down around them and the truth being revealed, the other members of the circus still keep going to rebuild and in return begin to find meaning in such a stagnant life. I think this finale showed the true message of the show - that humans can still keep going and still continue to find meaning even after losing all hope rather than giving up. It is their strive to keep going despite losing everything that makes them human. They were digital copies so since they were apart of the same code as the circus, they could manipulate parts of it and rebuild it. They were able to accept the reality of their situation and start new lives whereas Jax couldn't accept this reality and himself and that is what led to his abstraction. He couldn't settle down in a circus that didn't feel real and he stopped himself from reaching out to people because he pushed them away too far. The nature of Jax's abstraction is sudden just as suicide is in the real world is, one minute that person is there and then the next they were gone. Jax was the only one to lose hope entirely in the situation and he saw it as the only exit. That's why his abstraction devastated Zooble so much because it was a sign of him giving up, not wanting to keep going and accept that stagnant life like the rest of them as they had no choice but to keep going.
When someone finally gets to know the real him, it's too late because he's already gone. He couldn't accept the true reality of the world and their existence unlike the rest and that is what makes him a tragic character. A part of me wishes he could have been saved and learned to accept himself but he kept alienating everyone around him before it was too late. Shows like Evangelion demonstrate this perfectly as it explores the ideas of human connection through psychologist Arthur Schophaur's allegorical theory the hedgehog dilemma where the closer people get, the more they hurt each other just like interlocking hedgehogs when they prick each other with their sharp quills. It is a fear of human intimacy without the risk of mutual harm so people may remain guarded towards others in fear of getting hurt. This innate loneliness and the fear of emotional pain at getting too close to people is representive of Jax's inner emotional conflict.
He pushed Ribbit away because she knew about the vulnerable parts of himself and he pushed Pomni away because she was getting too close to his true self. He pushed his mother away because she was getting too close to him. He pushes away people the more they get close to him and it hurts them inside. The way he pushed Pomni reminded him too much of the way he hurt his mother. The argument he had with Ribbit directly mirrors the one he had with Pomni because they were both getting too close to him and he had to push them away. It makes Jax a deeply human yet flawed character who hurts people. I think I understand why the Evangelion references were used in the promotion of this finale because a lot of it is reflected in Jax's character and his inner struggles.
The use of Isn't She Lovely during the montage emphasises Jax becoming reborn as his true self and what he could have been had he let go of his self destructing tendencies. Just as the song is about the birth of a child, it is about the rebirth of Jax into a completely different person, it gives time for Pomni and the audience to appreciate and love the true side of him before it fleets away and is gone forever. It is about Jax accepting his true self before it disappears and becomes that shell of his former self. A rebirth of his entire identity. Jax described himself as a chicken festus in an egg that needs to be cracked open but now that those cracks are completely shattered, his true self can be come out of that shell he has already built around himself, just like a baby chick coming out of an egg, he has finally accepted the true parts of himself that he didn't like sharing with others and accepting himself as a person.
He never got the chance to live freely as himself because it was too late and the circus will always remember him as Jax. Pomni will still remember his true self and that is a memory that she will hold close to her heart, especially his human identity. It may be him but they are both not the same. Pomni will be the only one who remembers the true version of Jax because she was the one that got close to him. The other circus members will never know his true self and what he was actually struggling with, only Pomni knows about this. In his final moments, Jax realises that he can't put a wall up between him and Pomni because he can't accept the fact that she loves him. He didn't want this to happen because he had closed himself off from feeling anything but in fact he felt everything. Pomni was a good influence on Jax who helped him find himself again and accept himself for who he is. He was able to find himself again because of her and for the first time after keeping himself closed behind a wall, he is able to have a genuine human moment with Pomni by hugging her, something he never let himself experience again because he believed he hurt the people he cared about. He accepts in that moment that Pomni was a good influence on him and helped him find his true identity. Pomni wishes she could have talked to him more so he could open up with her and she mourns the true version of Jax she never got to know. The one that could open up with her and who loved her without closing off his heart. Jax had all the keys because he locked himself away so tightly and Pomni was able to unlock all those doors in order to find the real part of himself that he spent years suppressing. Jax realises in those moments that he doesn't want to go and begs for his life but it is too late.
In conclusion, the show serves as a cautionary tale for people like Jax who were too late at accepting themselves, who couldn't accept the true reality of their situation and gave up on that stagnant life while others chose to live on and find meaning beyond the code they were made from. A part of me wishes that Jax will find healing one day and his abstraction is reversed so he could be happy as his true self.
