a/n : Hey friends! Thanks so much for helping me decide which story to share first and donāt worry, Warm Hands is definitely coming, just a little later. Most of you picked Gold-Blooded to go first so Iāll be posting at least one chapter every week. For now, Iām excited to leave you with the Prologue and First Chapter of this new book. I hope you love it as much as I do!
Ayla was raised in a sun-drenched corner of California, cradled by quiet luxury and the hush of spacious rooms. The daughter of a visionary in aviation and a mother once graced by magazine covers, she grew up in a world of beauty and stillness, where time moved softly, and solitude often wore a silken smile.
ayĀ·la /ĖaÉŖ-lÉ/ noun a name of Turkish and Hebrew origin; means āhalo of lightā or āmoonās glow.ā
gentle, luminous ; evokes the soft shimmer of something celestial, just out of reach.
Prologue (from Aylaās POV)
Iām not sure how Iām supposed to feel about all this.
Moving. Starting over. Watching the ocean from the backseat of a car that still smells like California. My dad says weāre lucky. That most people would kill for a house like the one we just moved into, tall and white and cold as a museum. I know Iām supposed to be grateful. I know I am.
But luckyās never really felt like the word for me.
Kildare is quiet. The air tastes different, like pine and sea salt and secrets. The Outer Banks are all sand and storm winds and empty space, not like the clean, stiff-lined world Iām used to. Itās beautiful. I just donāt know if I belong in it yet.
We moved here because my dad decided to expand the company. Private aircraft maintenance, chartered jets, sleek hangars. Heās good at what he does. He makes money, builds things, breaks them down, builds again. He always says weāre sky people, not ground people. He means it in the business sense, aviation, engineering, altitude. But I think itās true in other ways too. Weāve always lived somewhere a little above everything.
Growing up, it was always glass windows and marble floors. Everything in its place. My mother was lovely, like one of those porcelain dolls people keep behind locked glass cabinets. She smiled a lot, told me I was beautiful, brushed my curls into perfect shapes. But I never really talked to her. Not really.
My dad was rarely home, and when he was, he was either on the phone or in his office. I donāt think he ever meant to neglect me. I think he just thought if he worked hard enough, I wouldnāt notice. But I did.
I didnāt have many friends. I was popular in high school, if that counts, people always liked how I looked. I knew how to smile the right way, say thank you, wear the clothes that made me look soft and expensive. But talking to people? Actually being present? That was never easy for me. I was always somewhere else in my head.
Nature was easier. Trees didnāt expect things from me. The wind never judged me. I used to sneak out barefoot into our backyard just to feel something real. I would climb trees, draw leaves, name every bird I saw. I liked getting my hands dirty. I liked making a mess.
The only thing I ever really asked for was a dog. I begged for one on my twelfth birthday. I cried over it. Made a slideshow and everything. My mom rolled her eyes, and my dad agreed just to shut me up. They took me to a shelter the next day, all cement floors and metal fences. I didnāt expect to feel anything there. But I did.
He was the last one in his litter. He was some kind of Golden Retriever mix, but not the pretty kind you see in commercials. His fur wasnāt perfect, a little uneven in places, not the shiniest, but still soft enough to bury your face in. He had one golden eye and one pale blue, which always made people stare a little too long. And this little dark mark across his left cheek made him look constantly worried, like he knew more than a dog should.
They said people kept skipping over him. That he wasnāt typical. I didnāt care. I sat down in front of his crate and didnāt move until they handed me the leash.
I named him Solas. It means light, or something close to it. I found it online that same night. Heās been with me ever since.
He doesnāt bark unless he has to. He doesnāt like strangers. He wonāt eat unless Iām in the room. Sometimes I wonder if he was made just for me.
Sometimes I think heās the only thing thatās mine.
So yeah. This is Kildare now. New house, new town, same me.
I donāt know what Iām expecting. I donāt really expect anything at all.
But if this place is going to change me, itās going to have to try really hard.
Chapter1. For the first time
I had known for a while that Iād be moving here. My dad had been going back and forth between California and Kildare for the past year, and even though I told myself it was just another stretch of time, I think part of me knew we wouldnāt be going back this time.
This wasnāt a vacation. This was staying.
The car pulled up the long driveway and stopped with a quiet crunch of gravel. Solas shifted beside me, his ears perked, eyes watchful. I opened the door and stepped out into the familiar heat. It was warmer than I remembered, and the trees felt closer, like theyād grown in around the house while we were gone.
The house hadnāt changed. Not really. It still looked like a picture of someone elseās life. Whitewashed wood, stone steps, the faint scent of salt drifting in from the marsh. I followed the path up to the door, Solas trailing behind me.
Inside, the air was cool. Still. The kind of stillness that comes from a place untouched for too long.
My room was upstairs, down the hallway to the left.
It was big. Bigger than I needed. Sunlight stretched across the pale wood floor, spilling in through tall windows that opened onto the backyard. The curtains were soft and sheer, the kind that moved when the breeze did. The walls were a light warm cream, almost golden in the late light. The bed was huge, covered in fresh white sheets with pale beige pillows and one pink throw, probably picked out by someone on staff.
It didnāt feel like mine. But Iād make it work.
I placed the framed photo of my mother gently on the nightstand. Then my matcha-colored sketchbook beside it. A worn bracelet from middle school. A folded letter. A smooth stone Iād kept since I was ten. I lined the perfume bottles on the vanity just like theyād been at home. Soft florals, warm musks. Scents that made me feel like something was still mine.
Thatās how I started settling in. Quietly.
I was braiding out my hair near the window when I heard the knock at the door. It was my dad.
He leaned in slightly. "Thereās a gathering tonight at the country club. Nothing formal. Ward Cameron mentioned it. Thought you might want to stop by."
I nodded, unsure if I would or not. He didnāt press it. Just paused for a moment longer than usual and said, "Youāll fit in fine. You always do."
That was all. And that was enough.
When I got dressed, I didnāt overthink it. Just slipped into a pale ivory mini skirt and my favorite pink top, soft, sheer, with little frills at the edges and a tie in the center. It was one of those outfits that always made me feel like myself without trying. I put on my small gold hoops, a clover necklace, and my white Air Forces that still looked almost new.
Solas stayed home.
The club was already glowing when I arrived. Fairy lights hung low from the trees. Glasses clinked in the distance. Somewhere, a soft piano played. The people on the lawn looked relaxed, like theyād spent the day at the pool and now drifted into night without needing to change.
I walked slowly across the gravel path, nodding slightly at the doorman. No one really noticed me. I wasnāt used to that. It was kind of nice.
I wandered toward the garden edge, where it was quieter. Thatās when someone called out.
"Youāre Ayla?"
I turned toward the voice.
A girl stood nearby, her arms crossed loosely over a simple sundress. Her blonde hair was clipped up, a few strands sticking to her cheek in the humidity.
"Iām Sarah," she added. "I think Iāve seen you before."
"Last summer, maybe. I was only here for a week."
"Right," she nodded. "I remember you had a dog. Same one?"
"Solas," I smiled. "Heās back at the house."
She laughed softly, like she hadnāt expected that answer. "He looked like he ran the place."
"He kind of does."
We stood in silence for a moment. She glanced around, then looked back at me.
"Youāre here now, for good?"
I nodded.
"Well," she said, "you picked a weird time. Everyoneās in their dramatic phase lately. But it gets better. If you stay long enough, it gets quiet again."
"That sounds nice."
She nudged her shoulder slightly toward the back of the club. "Want to walk?"
We wandered through the dim garden paths, past rose hedges and soft golden lamps. She told me who hated who. Who had a boat. Which families owned which part of the town. None of it felt like gossip. More like warnings, in a gentle way.
And I told her about California. The silence of big houses. How I didnāt really feel like I was from anywhere anymore.
We were nearing the patio again when a low voice cut through the warm air behind us.
āSarah. Dad said to come inside.ā
We both turned.
He was standing in the shadows just beyond the archway, dressed in black. A glass of whiskey hung from one hand, a sharp look settled on his face that didnāt waver. His button-down was undone just enough to look careless. His hair was a mess, but not in an accidental way. His stare was bold, direct, and just this side of predatory.
We stepped inside together.
The Camerons were gathered around a long table near the back. My parents were already there, standing just off to the side with drinks in hand, chatting quietly.
Ward stood first, towering, charismatic, and extended a hand with a sharp, business-like smile.
āYou must be Ayla. Your father and I go way back. Known each other since we were your age, maybe younger. Glad to finally meet you.ā
I smiled and shook his hand. āThank you. Itās nice to be here.ā
Rose sat beside him in pale silk, sipping from a delicate glass. She barely looked at me.
Then there was him.
Rafe stood like he hadnāt really been sitting. A lowball glass dangled from his fingers, the ice barely melted. The smell of whiskey drifted off him in waves, sharp and familiar.
Rafe glanced at his father, then at me. His stare was detached, slow, like he was sizing up something he didnāt ask for.
He stepped forward, casual. āHard to forget a California princess,ā he muttered, just loud enough for me to hear.
I didnāt flinch. Just gave him a neutral nod.
āAnd I canāt believe you know what California is, you genius !ā I then murmured sarcastically.
His expression flickered for a second. Then he raised his glass a little.
āAdorable.ā
I smiled, short and clean.
He held my eyes a second too long before stepping away.
ā¦
Later, outside.
The air had cooled. The sky looked like velvet, thick with clouds and light pollution. I needed a second alone. Maybe more than a second.
Then I heard the flick of a lighter behind me. A breath pulled in.
Rafe.
He was leaned against the porch railing, shoulders loose, cigarette between his lips like it belonged there.
āYou always bail halfway through a party?ā
I didnāt turn fully. āYou always follow girls out into the dark?ā
He shrugged one shoulder, lazy. āNo. Especially not ones who think theyāre smart.ā
Silence lingered for a moment.
āYou like making exits, then?ā he added.
āNo. But I like being as far as I can from pricks like you.ā
He exhaled, a dry breath of smoke. āSounds like a you problem. Everyone loves me here.ā
A humorless laugh. āThatās why you wonāt last long, California princess.ā
I didnāt understand what he meant by that, but I preferred to step further out, past the reach of the porch light.
āYou act like youāre not curious,ā he said, voice flat.
āIām not.ā
āYouāre not a very good liar.ā
I turned to look at him. āAnd youāre not smart.ā
He tilted his head. āYeah, and you should stop pretending you are. No one here likes princesses who think people care about them just because theyāre pretty, when really, theyāre just being a bitch.ā
I didnāt react. I wasnāt trying to win. Or give him a point.
āMust be exhausting,ā I said. āBeing an asshole all the time.ā
He snorted. āYou think I care what you think?ā
āNo,ā I said. āI think you care that I donāt.ā
That clipped something in him. Not enough to crack. Just to harden.
He let the cigarette burn in his hand a moment longer before crushing it under his shoe.
āYouāre gonna have a hard time here if you keep acting like no one can touch you, Carrington.ā
āWell, itās kind of you to worry,ā I said, already turning away. āBut I donāt need advice from someone who canāt even act likable, Cameron.ā
His eyes tracked me as I walked off. I didnāt offer a goodbye.
He didnāt say anything either.
A/N: Hope you enjoyed reading this piece š Iāll see you again very soon!
Iāll be adding songs to future chapters, so if youād like a playlist for this story (or for upcoming ones), let me know. Iād love to share the soundtrack behind the words with you!
Introduction. This is the story of Aayla, a girl raised in the sun-soaked luxury of California who suddenly finds herself uprooted and sent to the Outer Banks. A place where privilege hides loneliness and every smile can mask a secret. Her family builds and maintains private planes, soaring high above the ordinary, yet at home, silence and distance rule.
In this new world, Aayla meets Rafe Cameron. Entitled, toxic, and impossible to ignore, he challenges everything she thought she knew about life and herself. Beneath his harsh exterior, there might be something real, or it might just be another kind of trap.
Gold-Blooded is Aaylaās story, of finding light in unexpected places and breaking through the luxury to discover the raw, messy truth beneath.
I know itās been a while, and Iām really sorry for disappearing without any news. But I have great news to make up for it: Iām ready to start a brand new series, and you get to choose what itās about!!
Weāre heading back to the world of Outer Banks, and Iāve got two story ideas in mind. Here they are:
1. š Enemies to Lovers - Rafe Cameron
Gold-blooded
You just moved to the Outer Banks, new island, new life, same drama.
Youāre a Kook who canāt stand Rafe Cameronās entitled, toxic energyā¦ but somehow, he keeps getting under your skin.
Itās messy. Itās slow burn. And it might just ruin you both.
2. āļø Friends to Lovers - JJ Maybank
Warm Hands
JJās been your best friend forever : chaotic, loyal, and always a little too reckless for his own good.
But this summer, something shifts. The tension is different.
What if the person youāve been looking for has been right next to you all along?
So, what should my next story be about?
Gold-blooded, an ennemies to lovers story ft. Rafe Cameron
Warm Hands, a friends to lovers story ft. JJ Maybank
summary :It's truly just chaos after what happened, Rafe's words affected you more than you think. And you just couldn't admit it but you were done with it, everything and everyone...
words count : 1.6k
warnings : drug and alcohol usage, angst, violence, addiction, cheating, etc.
a/n : This is the 7th and the last part and the end of the serie :(( Enjoy <3
You couldnāt let anyone see what state you were in. The second you got into your car and started the engine, you pressed the gas harder than you should have. Speed was all you hadāit was an escape, a distraction, anything but stillness. You didnāt want to go home. You couldnāt. The walls would close in on you, suffocate you, force you to sit with the thoughts clawing at your skull. But you had promised yourself: no more hurting. No more slipping back into that darkness.
The air was thick, suffocating, your mind a constant reel of memories you wished you could erase. The weight of everything youād done, everything youād lost, sat heavy in your chest. You knew your engine wouldnāt lastāthe warning light had been flickering for daysābut you didnāt care. You kept driving until it sputtered and died, right as you rolled into a gas station. But filling the tank wasnāt an option. You didnāt want to be here. You didnāt want to be anywhere.
As tempting as it was to let go, to lose control completely, you couldnātānot tonight. Even through the crushing exhaustion, the unbearable ache, something in the back of your mind whispered that there was still more. More places you hadnāt seen, more moments you hadnāt lived. The thought was distant, fragile, but it was enough to keep you moving.
You shoved the car door open and started running.
The wind howled in your ears, your legs burned, your lungs felt like they were on fireābut you didnāt stop. You ran like something was chasing you, like if you stopped, everything would come crashing down at once. The Cut was ahead, the cliffās edge looming under the moonlight, and you didnāt slow down.
Then a hand caught your wrist.
āY/N, donāt do this.ā
His voice was sharp, firmāan order rather than a plea. His grip was iron, fingers digging into your skin, like letting go wasnāt an option.
Of course, he wouldnāt let you go. Not because he cared. No, Rafe Cameron had an image to uphold. He had a reputation to protect. If you jumped, everyone would talk. Theyād whisper about what he did to you, about how he must have been the reason. And that? That was something he couldnāt have.
āBack off, Rafe,ā you spat, wrenching your arm, but he wouldnāt let go. āStay out of my fucking business. Donāt you get it?ā
Your breath was ragged, your chest heaving, but you refused to let the tears fall. You had promised yourself. You wouldnāt break. Not in front of him or anyone else.
āYouāre not going anywhere, love,ā he growled, voice tight with frustration.
Your whole body tensed. That wordāit tasted like poison coming from him.
āNo,ā you snapped, shaking your head. āYou donāt get to call me that. You donāt get to touch me. You donāt get anything from me.ā
Your voice cracked, but you pushed forward. āIf youāre only here to stop me, itās not because you care. Itās because you donāt want people pointing fingers at you.ā
Rafeās jaw tightened, but he didnāt argue.
āIf you ever truly cared about me, it wouldnāt be now that youāre trying to save me.ā
For a second, just a second, something flickered in his eyes. Something almost human. But you didnāt care. You yanked your arm free and took a step back, closer to the edge.
āGo fuck yourself, Rafe.ā
Then you turned and ran, straight toward the drop. You jumpedānot to die, but to feel something. And you did. The air rushed past you, the wind whipping through your hair, your heart pounding. When your body hit the water, it was shockingly cold, but it didnāt hurt. It was peaceful. The world was silent, nothing pulling at you, no voices in your head. Just quiet.
Then came the screams.
āSheās here! Guys, help me get her out before she dies!ā
Before you could process what was happening, arms wrapped around your waist, pulling you to the surface.
You woke up on a dock. The night sky stretched above you, and your body ached from the impact. As expected, it wasnāt Rafe who had saved you. You never truly believed he would, but maybeājust maybeāyou had hoped. Instead, it was Kiara. She was kneeling over you, her face a mix of relief and exasperation.
Your head rested on JJās lap, his expression a strange mix of fear and frustration.
āSheās alive! God, Y/N, I thought you were smarter than this,ā Kiara laughed, shaking her head.
You groaned, lifting your head slightly, trying to see what was happening. JJ helped you sit up, steadying you as you leaned back on the stern. John B was driving the boat toward shore, Pope talking animatedly to him while laughing. Your head rested against JJās shoulder, Kiara lecturing you like a concerned older sister.
āYou seriously scared the shit out of us,ā JJ muttered.
You just started laughing. It was absurd, all of it.
āHey, thereās nothing funny about jumping off a cliff,ā Kiara scolded. āItās really dangerous, you know.ā
āYeah, you couldāveā¦ā JJ trailed off, his voice suddenly softer.
āWhat? Died?ā You said it like it was nothing. āGuys, honestly, Iām fine.ā
āNo, Y/N. Youāre not,ā JJ said, his tone serious. āWe all know you were on something. You couldāve drowned.ā
āSo what? Everyone has to die one day,ā you replied, this time without a hint of humor.
The rest of the ride was silent. No one knew what to say. When the boat reached the shore, you didnāt wait for themāyou just walked in the opposite direction, ready to be alone again.
āYouāre not going home, Y/N,ā JJ called after you. āI mean, look at you. Youāre not in your right mind. Stay with us.ā
You stopped, turning back slightly, raising an eyebrow. JJ looked at you with something close to hope. And for some reason, you couldnāt say no.
So you followed them to the Chateau.
For the first time, you really looked at the house. It was small, but charming. A place that felt real, like a home. And maybe, just maybe, that was what you needed.
Everyone sat on the porch, JJ next to you, his arm draped over your back. You werenāt used to this kind of gentle treatment. It was unfamiliar, almost unsettling. But there was warmth in it too.
They didnāt bombard you with questions. No interrogation, no demands for explanations. They just let you be. And somehow, that was more comforting than anything else.
Night crept in, one by one, they drifted off to sleep. But you and JJ remained on the couch, caught in a quiet silence neither of you wanted to break. Your head rested against his chest, his fingers tracing lazy circles on your back.
It was calm. Gentle. Safe.
But sleep didnāt come for you. And when the first rays of sunlight peeked through the horizon, you knew something had changed. Maybe, just maybe, you werenāt as lost as you thought. Even though you knew that deep down, you couldnāt stay here like this. It was too good for you, āI donāt deserve this and he deserves betterā you thought
You tried to slip out of the couch as quietly as possible, careful not to disturb JJ as he slept. You knew the weight of your presence in his life, and as much as you wanted to leave without waking him, you couldnāt shake the guilt that followed you like a shadow. When you reached the door, a voice stopped you coldāsoft, almost pleading.
"Please, Y/N, don't go."
The words hit you harder than you expected. Why was he asking you to stay? Why would he care? His voice trembled with something you couldn't quite name, and you could feel his presence behind you, as if he were pulling you back into his orbit.
You froze, confusion clouding your mind. His eyes found yours, and he saw the questions swirling in them. Without missing a beat, he spoke again, his tone softer but no less intense.
"Listen, Iām tired of seeing you run every time I get close. When we hook up, when we talk, when we just spend time togetherāwhat are you running from, Y/N?"
His words were like daggers, cutting through the walls youād so carefully built. They made you feel raw, exposed in a way you hadn't been in a long time. You didnāt have an answer. Not one that made sense to him, anyway. Your heart raced as the silence stretched on, your breath catching in your throat.
"Y/N, stop avoiding my questions, please."
His voice cracked just enough for you to hear the weight of his frustration. But it wasnāt just frustrationāit was desperation, too. And it made your heart ache in a way that felt too overwhelming to bear.
"JJ," you whispered, your voice breaking as you finally turned to face him. "I want to answer you. I really do. But I donāt have anything to say. I donāt even know how to say it. And Iām sorry... but I just... I have to go."
You could feel the tears threatening to spill as you looked at himāthose eyes full of emotions you couldnāt begin to understand. The vulnerability in his gaze was too much. It was easier to leave, to run, than to face what lay between you both.
"Iām sorry," you murmured again, your voice barely a whisper, before you turned away. You couldnāt bear to see the disappointment in his eyes, so you kept your head down, not daring to look back. The door creaked softly as you left, each step heavier than the last, the ache in your chest growing with every second.
You didnāt want to leave him. But at that moment, leaving felt like the only thing you could do.
a/n : I really feel sad about ending this, but guess everything has to end one day. Nostalgia is going to it, even though it was short it was great thanks to all the people who were ther <3
summary :Itās done, you finally broke up with Rafe. You thought it would bring you peace, a clean break from the chaos. But instead, it only invites more trouble, unraveling faster than you ever expected. And in just one night, everything you thought you escaped comes crashing back, worse than beforeā¦
words count : 1k
warnings : drug and alcohol usage, angst, violence, addiction, cheating, smut, etc.
a/n : This is the 6th part of the serie !! Enjoy <3 It's almost the end ahhhhhh
You had no idea where you were heading, but it didnāt matter. The old you was back, the reckless version, the one who didnāt care about consequences, the one who drowned everything out with chaos. As you stepped outside, you could feel the weight of people's stares. It wasnāt just the lingering effect of the drugs; no doubt, Rafe had already spread his poison, twisting the truth until you were nothing more than a whore in their eyes. But you werenāt going home. You refused to be alone with your thoughts.
āStop this, Y/N,ā a voice called out as someone grabbed your wrist. You didnāt bother looking up. Whether he was trying to hook up with you or genuinely cared, it didnāt matter. Nothing mattered anymore.
Instead, before you even processed your actions, your hands found his shoulders, and your lips crashed onto his, you were too drunk and desperate for thinking at this moment.
It was a long, deep kiss, reckless, desperate. It felt almost like you were made for each other, like you could disappear into it. Even though you didnāt know who he was, you didnāt stop. You kissed him until you were breathless, until reality blurred away.
āShit,ā you both muttered, almost in sync, making you smile for the first time in a while. It was pathetic, really.
But before you could even take in his face, he was ripped away from you and slammed against the other side of the room. The culprit? None other than Rafe.
āI told you, Maybank. Donāt touch Y/N. Are you fucking stupid?ā Rafe growled, tackling JJ to the ground and driving his fists into his face, one after another.
It was brutal, relentless, but you couldnāt move. The entire room had frozen, all eyes glued to the chaos unfolding in front of them.
āRafe, what the fuck is wrong with you?ā you snapped, your voice cutting through the noise. āI told you we were fucking over! Canāt you get that? Or are you just too pathetic to accept that you donāt own me?ā
Rafeās fists stilled, his rage-filled eyes locking onto yours. The anger he had just been taking out on JJ was now redirected entirely at you. But for once, you werenāt afraid. You werenāt going to let him control you anymore.
Slowly, he got up, towering over you, his jaw clenched, nostrils flaring. He wanted to corner you like he always did ; to assert his control. But this time, you didnāt let him.
āStop right now,ā you warned, voice steady. āIām not your girlfriend. Iām not your trophy. Iām not your fucking excuse anymore. You donāt control me, and you never will.ā
Rafe stood frozen, too stunned to speak. The tension was suffocating, but you remained blank, unreadable. You refused to let him see through you. You glanced over to where JJ was, watching as Kiara and John B helped him to his feet. You should have gone to him. You wanted to. But you felt trapped in this moment.
Silence stretched between you and Rafe, thick and heavy. Five whole minutes passed, and still, he said nothing.
So, you turned toward the door.
And then, finally, his voice sliced through the air.
āYou wanna know what the real problem in our relationship was?ā His tone was dripping with venom. āDo you really wanna know why I fucked other girls?ā
Something in your gut twisted, but you forced yourself to turn back and face him.
āIt was you, Y/N,ā he spat, voice sharp as glass. āYouāre empty. A hollow, fucking void. You act like nothing gets to you, like you donāt have a heart, and maybe you donāt. You wanted me and chased after me but the second you had me, you shut down. Ice fucking cold. You never let me in, never let me fucking touch you and now you let him ? You think youāre above feeling anything, but guess what? Thatās why I cheated. Thatās why I fucked other girls. Because at least they were real. At least they werenāt a fucking corpse pretending to be alive.ā
His words cut deeper than anything he could have physically done. You stood there, motionless, every syllable of his rant settling deep in your bones. You didnāt know what to say, but all that came out was a quiet, almost indifferent, āMmh.ā
It was like you were agreeing, and maybe, in some twisted way, you were. But before you gave yourself the chance to break down in front of everyone, you grabbed your keys and walked out of the party.
a/n : I decided to do a small chapter as it is one of the three last :(( hope you enjoyed reading even if it was short, I'll probably post next part this weekend (do not worry last part is going to be at least 2 times longer). Love you all, see you soon !!
summary : After last nightās tension with JJ and Rafe, you just wanted to disappear, but Rafe demanded you to come to a party, which you couldn't afford to refuse even though that's all your heart wanted as you knew how bad it would be for you...
words count : 2.5k
warnings : drug and alcohol usage, angst, violence, addiction, cheating, etc.
a/n : This is the 5th part of the serie !! Enjoy <3
That morning, you felt sick to your stomach. Sarah had gone to take a shower, but you sat on your bed, staring at Rafeās text. The sight of it alone was enough to make you nauseous. It made you feel miserable, but you couldnāt afford to refuse his invitation. So, with a shaky hand, you texted him back a simple āok.ā
You were stressed. For once, Rafe would actually be with you at the party. He wouldnāt be off in some room with another girl. No, this time, heād be right next to you, watching your every move. The thought of it was unbearable. And as if things couldnāt get any worse, JJ was going to be there too.
You stayed on your bed, lost in thought, until Sarah emerged from the bathroom.
āHey, Y/N, you okay?ā she asked. Her hair was damp, her usual outfit thrown together with practiced ease. Her lips curved into a faint smile, but her eyes gave her away it was like she was in a rush.
Before you could answer, a loud honking interrupted you. Frowning, you walked to the window and peeked out. John Bās van was parked outside, and his friends were piled in, waiting.
You shot Sarah a confused look, but she quickly held up a hand to cut you off. āIāll explain later, but I have to go now. Please grab my stuff and bring it tonight, okay? Love you!ā
Before you could even process what was happening, she was gone.
āUhā¦ okay,ā you muttered to yourself. Your head spun. What was going on?
The day was suffocating, the hours crawling by with cruel deliberation. You couldnāt bring yourself to move, not even to grab a drink or smoke by the window. Your body felt heavy, weighed down by dread, your mind spinning in loops you couldnāt break. All you could do was lay in bed, staring blankly at the screen, movies flickering without meaning.
By the time 5 p.m. rolled around, the walls felt like they were closing in. You had no choiceāyou had to get up, had to move.
Dragging yourself to the mirror, you barely recognized your own reflection. Your skin was dull, your eyes sunken with exhaustion. You couldnāt care enough to pick a real outfit, so you grabbed the first thing your hand landed on: denim shorts and a white bikini top. You smeared on some makeup, shaky hands smudging the eyeliner, but you didnāt bother fixing it.
The phone buzzed violently on your nightstand, dragging you out of your spiral. You stared at the screen for a moment, your heart sinking when you saw his name. You didnāt want to answerābut you knew he wouldnāt stop. With a deep breath, you pressed the green button.
āRafe,ā you said, your voice flat.
āWhere the fuck are you?ā His voice was already sharp, cutting through you like glass.
āAt home,ā you replied, trying to keep your tone even.
āYou were supposed to be here already.ā
āYou were supposed to pick me up,ā you said, the exhaustion creeping into your words.
There was a pause on the line, followed by the sound of him sniffing. It made your stomach churn.
āDo you think I have time to play chauffeur, Y/N?ā His voice was low now, edged with something darker. āJesus Christ, you canāt do anything for yourself, can you?ā
āAre you seriously doing this right now? Youāre the one who forgotāā
āDonāt fucking start with me,ā he snapped, his voice rising. āYou love this, donāt you? Acting like a victim all the time. Like Iām the bad guy. Guess what, love? You are the problem. Youāre pathetic.ā
You blinked, your breath hitching.
āWhat the hell is wrong with you?ā you whispered, anger and hurt mixing into something volatile.
āWhatās wrong with me? Whatās wrong with you?ā he snarled. āDo you think anyone else would put up with your shit? Your little tantrums, your moods? Nobody cares about you, Y/N. Not Sarah, not those Pogues, and sure as hell not me if you keep acting like this.ā
āThen leave!ā you shouted, your voice breaking. āIf Iām so goddamn unbearable, leave!ā
There was another sniff on the other end of the line, followed by a humorless laugh.
āOh, I will, love. But not before you drag your sorry ass here. And donāt you dare try anything tonight, or weāre done. You hear me? Done.ā
āIāā you started, but the line went dead.
You stared at your phone, your chest heaving, the words you couldnāt say burning in your throat.Ā
Ā It coursed through you, a fiery rush that burned away everything else. Grabbing your bottle of pills, a few joints, and your car keys, you stormed out.
By the time you got to the party, the music was thumping, and the house was packed. You didnāt care. You didnāt want to see Rafe, didnāt want to see anyone. Slipping through the chaos, you headed upstairs.
It was Lucyās house. You knew it well, knew the quiet spots but most of all knew how to disappear. The upstairs bathroom was perfect. Locking the door behind you, you dumped the pills onto the counter, crushed them into neat lines, and inhaled. The burn hit hard, sharp and immediate, but the numbness came quicker. Your heart raced, your mind blurred.
The bathroom door burst open so hard it slammed against the wall, making you flinch.
āHey.ā
The voice was familiar, but you were too dazed to place it. Blinking, you turnedāand the sight of JJ standing in the doorway hit you like a bucket of ice water.
āJJ,ā you breathed, your voice shaky.
āWhat the fuck are you doing?ā His eyes were sharp
You wiped at your nose, trying to compose yourself. āNothing.ā
āNothing?ā He stepped inside, closing the door behind him. āYeah, sure. Nothing looks a lot like snorting shit alone in a bathroom at a party.ā
You crossed your arms, meeting his glare with defiance. āWhat are you even doing here, JJ?ā
āLooking for beer, not a breakdown,ā he shot back. āBut I guess youād call this fate, huh?ā
You scoffed, leaning against the sink. āOh, spare me the lecture.ā
āIām not lecturing you,ā he said, his voice dropping slightly. āIām just wondering how someone who acts so untouchable is actually this fucking reckless.ā
You stiffened, the words cutting deeper than you wanted to admit. āWhat do you care?ā
āI donāt,ā he snapped, but his eyes betrayed him. āI meanāfuck, Y/N. Do you have any idea what youāre doing to yourself? Or is this just another game to you?ā
āDonāt act like you know me,ā you said, stepping closer. āYou donāt. You never did.ā
āOh, I know you,ā he said, his voice low, almost a growl. āI know you push people away before they can hurt you. I know you canāt stand being vulnerable for even a second because you think it makes you weak. But you know whatās really weak, Y/N? This. Hiding in a bathroom, getting high like thatās gonna fix anything.ā
His words hung in the air, heavy and stinging. But instead of retreating, you closed the gap between you, your faces now inches apart.
āAm I weak, JJ?ā you whispered, your voice soft but laced with challenge. āOr are you just scared of me?ā
His breath hitched, his eyes flicking to your lips for the briefest moment.
āScared of you?ā he said, his voice quieter now, tinged with something you couldnāt quite place. āYou wish.ā
Your lips curved into a faint smirk, but before either of you could say anything else, the moment shattered.
āLittle bitch, you are, Y/N.ā
Rafeās voice cut through the air like a whip, and JJ stepped back, his expression hardening as Rafe stormed in.
āWhat, Rafe? Iām the bitch here?ā you said, your voice sharp, not even turning to look at him as you wiped at your nose again.
He didnāt answer, and didn't waste time. He grabbed your arm and spun you around, slamming you back against the wall. His hand gripped your waist hard enough to bruise, his face inches from yours.
āLook at me,ā he growled, his voice low and dangerous. āWhat the fuck were you doing with that Pogue?ā
āDo you need to know every move I make?ā you snapped, meeting his glare head-on.
āYes,ā he spat, his grip tightening. āBecause youāre mine. Do you hear me? Youāre fucking mine.ā
āIām not yours, Rafe!ā you screamed, shoving at his chest. āIām not your property, and you donāt get to control me!ā
His eyes darkened, his face twisting in fury. āYouāre gonna regret saying that.ā
āFuck you,ā you shot back, your voice trembling with rage. āThis is the end, Rafe. Never talk to me again. Go back to your little flings and hope theyāre stupid enough to put up with your bullshit.ā
āYou donāt get to leave me,ā he snarled, but you were already shoving past him, slamming the door behind you as you disappeared into the chaos of the party.
a/n : I know it's been a while since I haven't posted but I'm trying my best I promise, love you !!
summary : After a long time questionning yourself on wether you were a good or a bad person for it, you called JJ to make things clear between the two of you, it eneded up into a tumulteous night, the aftermath was kind of awkward making things weird between the two of you.
words count : 2.0k
warnings : drug and alcohol usage, explicit content, angst, violence, addiction, cheating,
a/n : This is the 4th part of the serie !!
So here you were, sitting in Rafe's car, on the passenger seat with his hand resting possessively on your thigh as he drove toward the mall. Sarah was in the backseat with Topper, arguing about her recent disappearance or something, but you couldnāt bring yourself to care.
Your mind was consumed with the conversation youād had with JJ that morning, the scene replaying endlessly. When he asked his question, you froze. His words hit you on so many levels that you stood there, paralyzed, trying not to crumble. You remembered the look on his face, he was disappointed, when you couldnāt bring yourself to respond. He had just walked away, leaving you standing there in silence, confused and torn.
Why didnāt you say something? Why didnāt you at least try to give him an answer before he left, his shoulders heavy with disillusionment? And what were you even supposed to say? Youād never taken the time to figure out what you truly wanted. You couldnāt distinguish between liking the idea of love and understanding the reality of it. How could you possibly answer him when you didnāt even know the answer yourself?
Before you could spiral further into your thoughts, Rafeās hand left your thigh, snapping you out of your trance.
āY/N, you coming with me?ā Sarahās voice jolted you back to the present. Rafe shot her a strange look, one that seemed to silently question why she would dare interrupt whatever control he thought he had over you.
Even if Rafe was cheating on you with any girl who met his standards, he still saw you as his possession.
āAlright, see you both inside,ā Topper called, leading Sarah toward the mall entrance.
You stayed quiet as Rafeās hand moved back, more invasive this time. His touch felt wrong, like he was treating you as nothing more than an object he owned. You wanted to recoil, but fear rooted you in place. You knew all too well how Rafe reacted when he didnāt get what he wanted, and his explosive anger was something you dreaded more than anything.
But something was different now. Staying with him had always felt like an obligation, a duty imposed by expectations. Your parents were proud of you for dating a "young, smart man" from a respected family. The thought of disappointing them had kept you in this relationship longer than you wanted. Yet, deep down, youād always known something was wrong.
As messed up as it was, this relationship had once felt like loveāat least in the fleeting moments when Rafe bought you clothes, showered you with compliments, or helped you score drugs. It took time for you to see through the faƧade, to understand that what youād mistaken for affection was just control and manipulation.
But now it was too lateāor so you thought. The idea of breaking up with him filled you with dread. You werenāt just afraid of being alone, of the emptiness that might consume you. You were scared of what people would think, of the lies Rafe would inevitably spread about you. You cared more than you wanted to admit about their reactions, about preserving the image youād carefully maintained.
But now, for reasons you couldnāt fully explain, the fear was gone.
Without a word, you reached for the door handle and stepped out of the car. You had barely taken a few steps when his voice erupted behind you.
āWhere do you think youāre fucking going?ā Rafe bellowed, his tone laced with fury. You felt his hand grip your arm roughly, spinning you around and pinning you against the side of the car.
āIām not in the mood for this shit,ā you muttered, trying to wrench your arm free.
āWell, youād better get in the mood, love,ā he growled, his voice dropping dangerously low. His lips descended on yours in a kiss that was more a show of dominance than affection. You barely let it happen before pulling away, disgust boiling in your stomach. The nickname he used to call you with ease now felt like venom.
You didnāt want to argue further, so you stayed quiet and followed Sarah and Topper. After finishing up the morning at the mall, Rafe decided he was hungry, and you all ended up back in the carāthis time, you sat in the backseat next to Sarah. You didnāt even ask where you were headed, too busy chatting with her about everything youād bought.
It wasnāt until the car stopped that your stomach dropped. You were at The Wreck, and Rafe mentioned going to the beach afterward. Normally, you loved the beach, but today you felt uneasy.
Throughout lunch, your mind wandered back to JJ. The thought of facing him made your skin crawl with guilt. You resolved to avoid him at all costs.
When you got to the beach, Rafe quickly left your side after spotting a cute Pogue. Relieved, you joined Sarah, who suggested going for a swim. Afterward, you sat on the sand, watching the sunset, and decided it was time to light up a joint. Sitting with the group, you passed it around, but it didnāt last long, so you offered to roll another. Your bag was a short walk away, and Sarah insisted on coming with you.
While looking through your bag, Sarah suddenly wandered off. You didnāt need to look up to know where she was heading. She was high, and no matter how much she smoked, she always ended up like this.
āHEY GUYS!ā she called out, swaying as she stumbled toward a group of Pogues gathered nearby. You sighed, already dreading the drama that might unfold. Sarah was one of the few people you truly cared about, so you gently grabbed her arm.
āSare, we donāt have time for this. Iāve got the weed; letās go back,ā you urged.
āNo, let me say hi! Itād be rude not to!ā she replied, brushing you off. You hesitated but followed her, unable to let her go alone.
The moment you approached, the awkwardness hit you like a wave. You werenāt high enough for this. Worse, you found yourself face-to-face with JJ, his piercing gaze fixed on you. You avoided his eyes, instead striking up a conversation with Kie and Pope. They were friendly, and for a brief moment, their presence felt comforting.
But the peace shattered when Rafeās voice boomed behind you.
āY/N, what the fuck are you doing, love?ā he snarled, his voice dripping with venom. The word āloveā felt more like an insult than an endearment.
JJās expression twisted with anger. As you stood to pull Sarah away, he shouted after you. "Of course. Run back to your perfect little life with Rafe. Youāre nothing more than a pretty little pawn to them anyway. Guess youāre fine being used, huh?"
You froze but didnāt turn around. You didnāt need to see the chaos unfolding to know what was happening. Rafe and Topper were charging at JJ, fists flying, while Pope and John B jumped in to defend their friend. Sarah tried to intervene, but her efforts were in vain. You couldnāt stand by and let her get hurt, so you grabbed her arm and told her to take your stuff.
Steeling yourself, you stepped between the groups, your voice rising above the commotion. āAll of you, stop this shit right now! Rafe, stop acting like youāre king of the world. Do you think beating him up is going to solve anything? And you, JJāwhat the fuck is wrong with you?ā
JJās gaze hardened, his voice cutting as he snapped, āYouāre no one to judge me, so just stay out of it.ā
You didnāt hesitate. āStay out of it? Youāre the one making a scene, JJ. Maybe if you stopped acting like a reckless idiot for five seconds, none of this wouldāve happened.ā
His jaw tightened, his eyes burning into yours, but you didnāt flinch. The air between you was thick with unspoken words, his frustration crashing against your own. You wanted to say more, to cut deeper, but instead, you turned away, unwilling to let him see how much this was getting to you. Sarah returned with your bags, and you snatched the car keys from Rafe without another word.
For once, he didnāt protest. You looked too furious for him to argue. Usually, heād scream back at you, but this time, he stayed silent, almost as if he were afraid of you.
When you finally reached your house, you grabbed your bag and walked inside without so much as a glance at him. The silence was deafening, but you didnāt care. You were done.
Sarah couldnāt stand seeing you like that, so she followed you home. You didnāt want her to come, but you didnāt stop her either.
Your house was spotless, as always, or at least thatās how it appeared. Someone came by every day to clean, hiding the mess you couldnāt seem to get rid of. But it wasnāt always this way. Last night, for the first time in a long time, youād let your guard down. Inside, you went straight to your room and sank onto your bed, the weight of everything pressing down on you. After a moment, you got up and changed into something more comfortable, scrubbing at your mascara-streaked face in the mirror.
āY/N, whatās up with you?ā Sarah asked softly, sitting on the edge of your bed.
āNothing important, Sare. They just made me mad,ā you replied, your voice flat.
āNo, itās more than that. I know you, and youāre not fine. Whatās going on?ā
You hesitated, your reflection staring back at you, accusing and tired. Finally, you turned to her and sighed, sinking onto the bed beside her. āIām just... confused, okay?ā you admitted. āJJ and I... I donāt know what we are. Weāre not just hook-ups, but... I have a boyfriend.ā
Sarah rolled her eyes, her voice sharpening. āAnd heās a complete asshole, I mean heās my brother but I have to admit that. Why wonāt you leave him, Y/N? And donāt give me the āmy parents love himā bullshit again.ā
Her words stung, not because they werenāt true, but because you didnāt have a good answer. Your mouth opened, but nothing came out. Vulnerability was something you avoided at all costs, even with Sarah. To you, admitting how you felt was admitting weakness, and weakness wasnāt an option.
Instead, you shut down, pulling the covers over yourself and curling into a ball. āIām tired, Sarah. Letās talk tomorrow,ā you mumbled.
Sarah sighed in frustration but didnāt push further. She sat there for a moment longer before quietly leaving the room, the sound of the door clicking shut leaving you alone with your thoughts.
As you woke up, your phone buzzed with three new messages from Rafe. You had already braced yourself for what was coming:
Rafe: What the hell was that, Y/N?
Rafe: Donāt ever pull that shit again, or weāre done.
Rafe: Thereās a party tonight at the beach. Your little Pogue friends will be there. Youād better fucking behave.
a/n : This part is the longest one I've done so far ! Hope you enjoyed it, tell me if you have any questions or suggestions !
summary : You didn't know what you were doing, you were high, once again, and your heart took control of your mind, so you let it slide and called him, he was at your door, and you were more fragile than ever...
words count : 1.6k
warnings : drug and alcohol usage, explicit content, angst, violence, addiction, cheating, smutt, sough rex, oral.
a/n : This is the 3rd part of the serie !!
Who were you? What were you even doingācalling JJ Maybank? Your boyfriend's sworn enemy. The most annoying, cocky, and dangerous guy in all of Kildare.
What happened to Y/N, the Kook princess, who wouldnāt have even bothered to look his way? And now, here you were, calling him because you wanted to understand what being "the girl" even meant.
Before you could finish another bottle of vodka and spiral further into your headache-inducing thoughts, a knock at the door pulled you back. You mustered all the strength you had left, stumbling down the stairs but somehow managing not to tripānot before you had your answers.
"Hey, Y/L/N," JJ said as soon as he saw you. He didnāt know where to lookāyour house was a mess, with everything scattered across the floor, almost as if youād had an outburst just moments before. He hadnāt known what to expect when he got there, but this wasnāt it.
You were beautiful, he thought, but something was definitely off. You didnāt look as calm and collected as you usually did. He couldnāt admit it, not even to himself, but heād always watched you from a distance, even when you didnāt pay him any attention. This time, though, something was different. Something was missing in your eyes. He couldnāt figure it out and kept staring at you, confused, trying to understand what had happened to you.
"Hi, J.!" you greeted, your voice unusually joyful, almost like you couldnāt wait to see him. JJ raised an eyebrow, thrown off by your sudden shift. Before he could say anything, you added, "How are you?" and pulled him into a hug that lingered longer than he expected.
"Iām fine, but... what are you doing?" he asked, trying to mask the concern creeping into his voice.
You glanced around, almost brushing off his question. "Well, I know itās a bit of a mess, but we can go upstairs," you replied, your words rushed and scattered as you grabbed his wrist and led him through the chaos to your room. JJ followed, his eyes darting over the overturned furniture and scattered items on the floor. Something was definitely off.
"So?" JJ started, glancing around and trying to choose his words carefully. "Why did you want me to come here?" he added, attempting to sound casual, though you had his full attention. His mind was consumed by you and nothing else.
"I donāt know. I guess I was bored," you said with a shrug.
"Bored? Thatās why you called me at 2 a.m.? Youāve gotta be kidding me. Thatās BS," he replied, raising an eyebrow.
"Well," you started, your voice faltering as you avoided his gaze. "If you really want to know, I just wanted to ask... what the hell did Kie mean when she said I was āthe girlā you talked about?"
JJ froze for a moment, then chuckled, running a hand through his hair. "You caught me off guard," he admitted, noticing the serious look in your eyes. "I told them a girl might come with us on a dayboat sometime, just casually hanging out, of course." He smiled, watching as relief softened your expression.
"Oh... cool," you replied, your voice quieter now.
"Well," JJ said with a smirk, leaning back slightly. "Since weāre asking questions... why didnāt you come this morning? From the way you sounded, you were all needy for me to see you," he teased, his smirk growing wider.
The question hit you like a brick. You couldnāt answer it. So, instead, you did the only thing that came to mind.
You got up, stepped close to him, and kissed him.
JJ froze for a split second, his brain short-circuiting. But then his hands found your waist, and he kissed you back. It was slow at first, testing the waters, but quickly grew more passionate. He couldnāt ignore the way it felt, like your lips fit together perfectly, like this was something that was meant to be.
SMUT***
Your kiss grew heated, and soon enough, his hands were everywhere, tracing your curves and pulling you closer. He lifted you off the ground effortlessly, carrying you to the bed.
He laid you down gently, his lips trailing along your neck, tasting every inch of your skin. His hands slipped under your top, exploring and caressing, igniting sparks wherever he touched. You couldnāt take it anymore, so you helped him pull off your sweater, tossing it to the floor. His mouth continued to wander, leaving soft, fiery kisses down your torso, each one making your breath hitch.
As he reached your most sensitive spot, his hands lingered on the waistband of your shorts, teasing you with gentle traces. He looked up at you, his gaze seeking permission, and when your desperate eyes met his, you gave a small, eager nod. He slid your shorts off slowly, revealing how much you needed him.
His lips and tongue worked magic as he explored you, his movements deliberate and precise, drawing soft, shaky moans from your lips. His mouth focused on your clit, swirling and sucking, while his fingers teased at your entrance. When he finally slid one finger inside, your back arched, and a gasp escaped you.
"J..." you whispered, your voice trembling.
He smirked against you, adding a second finger and curling them just right, hitting a spot that made your head fall back and your moans grow louder. Each motion was unrelenting, his pace quickening, his touch perfectly in tune with your body. You grabbed at his hair, your voice breaking as you cried out his name, every nerve in your body alive.
Even as you neared the edge, he didnāt let up. He kissed his way back up your body briefly, his lips brushing yours in a heated kiss, before returning to his focus. The intensity was overwhelming, and moments later, you unraveled, crying out as waves of pleasure overtook you. He didnāt stop until you were fully spent, his lips and chin glistening as he looked up at you with a wicked grin.
"Wonderful," he said, leaning closer to kiss you again, his voice husky. "You taste like candy."
But the hunger between you didnāt fade. You needed more. Your hands moved to the waistband of his jeans, helping him tug them off. Soon, he was bare before you, and your heart raced at the sight.
He turned you around, guiding you until you were on top of him. His hands rested on your hips, helping you align with him. As you lowered yourself, the sensation was overwhelming, a mix of pleasure and heat that made you feel completely consumed by him.
You moved together, your bodies in perfect rhythm. His hands guided your hips as your movements grew faster, your breath coming in gasps, your moans filling the room. The connection was raw, intimate, and electric.
When he felt you nearing your peak, he shifted you again, gently turning you onto your back as he positioned himself above you. His movements were faster, deeper, and the intensity had you clinging to him. Pain and pleasure blurred together in a way that made your body tremble, and tears welled in your eyes, spilling over as the emotions overtook you.
He watched you, his gaze full of something unspokenāsomething deep and real. "Youāre so beautiful," he whispered, his voice ragged.
It didnāt take long before you shattered again, your cries echoing through the room as he held you close, his pace steady until he followed you, releasing with a groan that sent shivers down your spine.
That had been wonderful, even better than the first time. Now, the two of you were spooning, and for a moment, you felt like you were exactly where you were meant to be. But the feeling didnāt last long. Guilt crept in, gnawing at you from the inside. Why had you done it again? Why had you cheated on your boyfriend? What were you going to do about it? Was this going to become a forever thing? Were the two of you always going to hide like this?
Before you could spiral deeper, you got up suddenly, startling JJ awake. It probably looked like you were sneaking out after a one-night standāexcept it was your house, and this wasnāt just a hookup. As you dressed quickly, putting on your jewelry, JJ blinked at you, still half-asleep, his confusion clear.
"Donāt you live here?" he asked sarcastically, propping himself up on his elbow.
"Well, yes," you muttered, fumbling for your cigarette pack. "Iām just gonna take a smoke."
He raised an eyebrow, clearly thrown off by your abruptness. You sighed, feeling awkward under his gaze. "Wanna join me?" you added.
"Uh, yeah... give me a minute," he said, still looking at you like you were a puzzle he couldnāt quite figure out.
You left, heading to the backyard and praying no one would see him naked through your windows. Leaning on the door connecting your kitchen to the back porch, you tried lighting a cigarette, but your lighter refused to work. Frustrated, you went back inside, started your coffee machine, and grabbed the kitchenās blowtorch. With your coffee in hand and the torch in the other, you settled on the patio couch, putting the cigarette between your lips and preparing to light it.
Before you could, JJās laughter rang out behind you.
"The fuck are you doing with that, Y/L/N? Donāt you have a proper lighter?" he asked, his voice teasing.
"To your surprise, I actually do," you said, not looking up. "But itās out of gas, so I make do."
"Didnāt know Kooks could make do," he replied with a smirk, pulling a lighter from his pocket. "Here."
"Thanks," you muttered as you lit your cigarette. You turned the lighter in your hand for a moment, noticing the engraved initials on its surface. It was cool, understated. You handed it back to him, offering him a cigarette in return.
The two of you sat in silence for a while, the quiet stretching between you. It felt heavy.
"So, what are you doing today?" JJ finally asked, breaking the silence.
"Iām going shopping with Sarah," you said, your gaze fixed anywhere but on him. You knew if you met his eyes, youād probably start crying.
"Oh... cool," he said awkwardly, standing up and brushing off his jeans. "I think itās time for me to go."
"Mmmh..." you replied softly, finally looking up at him. His blue eyes locked onto yours, and for a moment, the air felt heavier. You stubbed out your cigarette in the ashtray and got up to walk him to the door.
When he reached it, he paused, turning to face you. The look in his eyes caught you off guard, there was frustration there, maybe even a trace of hurt.
"What do you want from me, Y/N?"
a/n : and that's how the story ends for now... Hahaha I'm sorry guys but as it's the week-end now I might be able to post more content in here ! Hope you enjoyed it, tell me if you have any suggestions !!
Introduction : Under the golden glow of Kildareās sunsets, everything seems perfect. You have it all : wealth, a flawless relationship with Rafe Cameron, and a life everyone envies. But behind the polished exterior, thereās something darker, a feeling you canāt quite shake. Itās a restlessness, a secret buried deep that no one knows about.
Then thereās JJ Maybank. A Pogue, reckless and free, with a smile that hides his own mysteries. Each moment with JJ pulls you deeper into a world youāre not supposed to be part of, a world filled with secrets, temptation, and danger. Heās not just a distraction, heās the one thing that makes you question everything youāve ever known.
summary : Ever since that night, everything seemed different in your eyes but everything was still the same around you, your parents, your boyfriend, your "friends" and your lifestyle. But you couldn't stop thinking about him...
words count : 853
warnings : drug and alcohol usage, explicit content, angst, violence, addiction, cheating.
a/n : This is the 2nd part of this serie !! This part was abit rushed, but I'll do my best to post more and obviously better content, but until then : Enjoy šø!
Since that night, you had been avoiding JJ. No one else could make you feel the way he did, but the guilt of what had happened weighed heavily on you. Even knowing Rafe had been unfaithful, your own betrayal felt just as wrong. The Midsommar party was supposed to be an escape, a chance to distract yourself from the mess of emotions you carried. Yet guilt clouded your thoughts as your eyes kept finding JJ in the crowd, drawn to him no matter how hard you tried to look away.
You forced yourself to maintain composure. Your parents were there, and their expectations left no room for mistakes. Standing next to Rafe, who called out to JJ to fetch him a glass of champagne like a servant, the tension between the three of you was suffocating. JJās glare burned through you, his anger unmistakable and impossible to ignore. When Rafe left to join Ward, you seized the opportunity to slip away, pulling Sarah along with you under the pretense of needing some air.
Away from the partyās chaos, you retrieved a bottle of vodka youād hidden earlier in the bushes. "You're insane," Sarah laughed as you unscrewed the cap and took a long swig.
"Whatās life without a little mischief?" you teased, handing her the bottle. Sarah shook her head but took a sip anyway. Talking with her was easy. Since dating Rafe, Sarah had become like a sister to youāsomeone you could trust. But when she casually brought up the bonfire, your heart stopped.
"So, how was it with that Pogue?" she asked, a sly smile playing on her lips.
You froze. "What?" you stammered, panic creeping into your voice. Was it that obvious?
"Relax. Iām not judging," Sarah reassured you, her tone soft. But her words cracked something inside you. The guilt, the confusion, the overwhelming feelings. All of it came pouring out as you broke into sobs. Sarah listened without judgment, her presence comforting you in a way you desperately needed. "You and JJ could actually be good together," she mused, trying to lighten the mood. Her words caught you off guard, but for the first time in days, you laughedāa small, fragile sound that felt like a lifeline.
As the evening wore on, you found yourself sitting alone on the porch, the sounds of the party fading into the background. The sun dipped below the horizon, painting the sky in hues of orange and pink. Lost in thought, you didnāt notice JJ approaching until he was right beside you.
"Hey, Y/N. Howāre you doing?" His voice was soft, almost shy.
You looked up at him, his piercing blue eyes making your heart race. "Hi, Maybank. Iām... okay. You?"
"You look great tonight," he said, his sincerity catching you off guard. There was no trace of sarcasm or flirtationājust a simple, honest compliment. "You know, even if youāre a Kook, youāre always welcome with us."
His words surprised you. "Why now? Youāre always so protective of the Cut," you challenged, narrowing your eyes.
"Because Kooks act like they own everything," he admitted with a shrug. "Let us have our little paradise."
His honesty annoyed and intrigued you in equal measure. "Yeah, whatever," you muttered, flipping him off as you stood and walked away. But his parting words followed you: "Donāt forget my proposition, Y/L/N."
For days, those words lingered in your mind. On impulse, you decided to take him up on it. Calling ahead, you let him know. "Already needy for me?" he teased when he picked up.
"Shut up," you snapped, hanging up immediately. At the Chateau, Pope answered the door, his confusion evident. His wary expression, almost disgusted, made you realize how unusual it was for the so-called "Kook princess" to show up there. What were your intentions? To humiliate them? To make trouble for John B? The awkwardness was palpable, so you quickly claimed you were there to see Kiara. Once alone with her, you confessed everything.
"JJ invited me, but I donāt know what Iām doing," you admitted, your voice shaky.
Kiaraās knowing smile only deepened your embarrassment. "So, youāre the girl heās been talking about," she said with a smirk.
Unable to handle the weight of her teasing, you left without even meeting JJ. Instead, you texted him, saying you couldnāt make it.
That night, as you sat alone on your balcony, the cool night air wrapped around you like a blanket. Lighting a joint, you let your thoughts drift to JJ. No matter how much you tried, you couldnāt stop thinking about him. His laugh, his sharp wit, the way his eyes seemed to see right through youāit was maddening.
Acting on pure impulse, you messaged him. The response was almost immediate. "Be there in a quarter," he replied, and your heart raced as you read the words. You didnāt know what you were getting yourself into, but you knew one thing for certain: there was no turning back now.
a/n : it was a bit rushed but I hope you still liked it, I didn't put any smut this time but I will for the next ones āš¼āš¼I'll try to post the next part as soon as I can
summary : growing up in kildare seems like a dream, especially as a kook and even more if they were you, everyone woukd kill to be you : you were rich, everyone loved your family and most of all you were going out with him : Rafe. But behind closed doors, everything was different...
words count : 1.5k
warnings : drug and alcohol usage, explicit content, angst, violence, smut, addiction, cheating, unprotected sex.
a/n : I'm sorry if this is baddly written, this is my first book and I will try to do my best
You were always partying. No one truly cared about you; they only cared about whether youād attend their party. Your presence was a symbol of status. You had everything that could elevate someone socially: connections, image, and wealth. But for you, parties werenāt about social standing. They were an escape. You drank, smoked, and did drugs, not for fun, but to numb yourself. What started as an indulgence became an addiction.
Everyone wanted to be your friend, but no one truly cared about you. On the surface, they treated you as their friend, but it was one-sided. They never asked how you were, even as you spiraled at their events. You would take whatever was available : pills, weed, alcohol. Just to escape and forget your problems.
Behind closed doors, the "kook princess" title meant nothing. Your parents didnāt care about you. They gave you everything you wanted but never noticed when you began self-harming. They were too absorbed in their own lives, often away in another part of the country. Yet, they demanded perfection to protect their image. Any scandal involving you would bring their wrath.
Your boyfriend was no different. Like your parents, he only cared about appearances. He stayed with you because you were the ideal trophy: calm, compliant, and perfect. He controlled you, loved having that power, and dismissed your feelings. Even when you learned about his multiple affairs, you didnāt react. He saw you as a submissive little doll.
To the world, you were perfect. People thought you were a ray of sunshine : effortlessly beautiful, always saying the right things. But at parties, you let your mask slip. You attended every parties in Figure eight, always showing up even when your soul screamed to be elsewhere.
One summer evening, you went to the annual bonfire, but this this time it was in The Cut. You arrived with Rafe, but he quickly disappeared with a touron. Left alone, you filled a cup with a random drink. Sarah was there too, but she soon left to be with her boyfriend. You danced for a while, but the urge to smoke overwhelmed you. Seeking solitude, you wandered to the waterās edge, sat on the sand with your toes in the surf, and lit a joint.
As you stared at the waves, lost in thought, someone approached. You didnāt turn to look until he spoke.
āHey.ā
āHi,ā you replied coldly.
āThatās not very polite. As a kook, you should know what respect is,ā he teased, pulling out his own joint. He asked for a lighter, and you handed it to him, briefly locking eyes. Thatās when you recognized him: JJ Maybank. You didnāt care for him, mostly because of his constant run-ins with Rafe. You thought he was reckless, but beyond that, you knew little about him, except that he was a Pogue and had a troubled upbringing.
When he handed the lighter back, he smirked. āWhatās Y/N Y/L/N doing in The Cut?ā
You sighed, not wanting to answer. After taking one last hit from your joint, you stood to leave, but he grabbed your wrist, pulling you closer. The touch unsettled you, not in a bad way, but in a way you didnāt expect.
āWhat are you doing here, huh? And why arenāt you with your sweet little boyfriend?ā
You yanked your hand away. āItās none of your business, Maybank.ā
His smirk widened. His piercing blue eyes held yours, making it impossible to look away. āLet me guess, he ditched you for another girl.ā
His words didnāt sting. You were relieved whenever Rafe wasnāt around. He was toxic, manipulative, and full of himself. You sighed again, which JJ took as confirmation.
āOh, I see. It doesnāt bother you, does it? Is it because heās a trainwreck, orā¦ā He leaned closer, his voice dropping to a whisper near your ear. āIs it because he canāt fuck you right?ā
He wasnāt wrong. Rafe was selfish, in and out of bed. He never cared about your needs, only his own gratification. You remained silent, but JJ saw through you. His smirk grew, and his gaze deepened as he looked into your eyes, devoid of any spark.
Then, without warning, he kissed you. You should have pushed him away, but you didnāt. Instead, you kissed him back. His touch made you feel weak in a way you hadnāt felt before. The longing in your eyes didnāt escape him, and soon, the two of you found yourselves at the Chateau, lost in each other.
Piece by piece, your clothes fell away, each barrier removed with deliberate care. He didnāt rush or treat you as an object to conquer. For the first time, you felt truly seenānot as an image or a facade, but as a person stripped of all pretense.
His lips followed the path of his hands, leaving a trail of soft kisses and tender marks across your skin. When he paused in front of your most sensitive spot, his eyes locked with yours, silently asking for permission. A simple, desperate āPleaseā escaped your lips, and that was all he needed.
He began with his tongue, moving in rhythmic circles over your clit, making you gasp with pleasure. When he slid a finger inside, your body arched instinctively, and soon, he added another, intensifying the sensation. You became a trembling, moaning mess, his name spilling from your lips like a prayer. With every movement, he seemed to unravel you further, taking you to places youād never been before.
Your hands gripped his blonde hair tightly as the tension within you grew unbearable. āIām gonnaāc-cum, JJ,ā you managed to stammer, your voice quivering as your body reached its peak. He responded by quickening his pace, pushing you over the edge. Your vision blurred as you cried out his name, your release overwhelming you completely.
He moved back up to face you, placing gentle kisses on your lips as if to ground you. The intimacy between you felt electric, but you wanted more. He seemed to sense it, turning you over so your back pressed into the soft pillows. As he teased your entrance, you couldnāt help but let out a string of curses under your breath.
Despite the passion, guilt crept into your mind, you were cheating on your boyfriend, and with his nemesis, no less. But those thoughts vanished the moment he entered you fully. A gasp escaped your lips as he started slow, allowing your body to adjust. āYouāre so tight, Y/N,ā he murmured, his voice laced with pleasure. Soon, his movements quickened, and the two of you were lost in each other, the world outside forgotten.
Every thrust hit the right spot, sending waves of pleasure through your body. The tension built again, and you felt yourself nearing another climax. āJJ, Iāā you tried to speak, but your words dissolved into incoherent moans as your body convulsed around him.
He didnāt stop, driving you further into overstimulation as he chased his own release. When he finally found it, he stilled, his warmth filling you completely. You lay together in the aftermath, your bodies tangled and hearts racing. You kissed him deeply, savoring the connection youād shared.
But as the euphoria faded, reality crept back in. You had a boyfriend. This moment, as incredible as it was, could never happen again. And yet, lying there in his bed, you couldnāt help but wish it could.
a/n : I'm sorry, I know it's not really great, but tell me if you want a Part 2 or smth šš
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