Jesus Christ. Just Get Me A Drink @witkneec - Tumblr Blog

captainsnoop-deactivated2020041

the donald trump animatronic at disneyland’s hall of presidents looks like they made an animatronic for hillary, went “oh fuck” and stretched a hastily-made donald trump skin over hillary’s facial structure

grandmacookie69

that is oddly specific and hauntingly what it really looks like

witkneec

Yeah, woah, that's 100% what happened. Can't convince me otherwise.

moveslikekeithrichards

i think the hardest part about this job is not being able to say What The Fuck

icouldwritebooks

During my sophomore year biology class, we all had to dissect worms. One of the kids in class ate one. A few minutes into the class, the teacher was like, “oh, by the way, make sure not to touch your mouth. These worms are covered in super poisonous formaldehyde.”

The kid who had eaten the work went pale. The kids at his desk huddled around him for a whispered discussion about whether or not he should admit to what he’d done, or keep his mouth shut and hope he survived it. He eventually decided that he did not want to risk death, put up his hand, and very timidly informed the teacher of his little snack.

The poor teacher. She just got this look on her face, like she was considering switching careers immediately. Anyway, she ended up calling 911. I don’t know how things went down at the hospital, but the kid survived.

necro-om-nom-nomicon

Right. We’re going to have words about that last tag there.

tricornking

Okay @gallusrostromegalus I realize you probably just forgot to finish that last tag, but I want to make clear how fucking

OMINOUS

it is that you don’t elaborate what those coroner firing reasons were covering up

gallusrostromegalus

Tumblr fucked up the tags, the last one is supposed to read “#Someone finally gave in to temptation and had a little Nibble”

tarot-sybarite

If this isn’t a #WorldHeritagePost it should be.

silver-tongues-blog

is this why coroners eating a sandwich while preforming an autopsy is such a trope?

first-sight-and-second-thoughts

picturesque-about-it

witkneec

Zombies. Or Hannibal Lecter.

rejectingrepublicans

Do you have to ask…

reynard61

1oldbear

Worst president possible

witkneec

I mean, I don't agree but that's just because Reagan was a horrible president that operated illegal wars based on the sale of coke and crack he and his lackeys purposefully flooded into poor, black neighborhoods and crated, almost singlehandedly, the crack epidemic that ravaged those neighborhoods and contributed heavily to the huge ramp up in enforcement and prosecution of black and brown people. They created the welfare queen stereotype and the drugs they knowingly brought in to fund an illegal war destroyed black families and it was on purpose and 100% part of the plan. Explicitly.

Nancy's whole "just say no" is horrific once you grasp that they started the crack epidemic. And it's not a conspiracy theory, it has been confirmed independently and people high up in his cabinet have admitted it happened. Gleefully. The only question is how much they relied on Reagan's Alzheimer's which was already whispered about-like, it was known, he was falling asleep in briefings to the point his actual staff/ the RNC was well aware. His presidency was known to most of those people as the Big Sleep. Because he had no goddamn idea towards the end what was going on, let alone should have been in charge of one of the largest armies and defense budgets of all time- or, ya know, the fucking nuclear codes.

It's not a secret. They actually seem proud of it, the RNC.

And seek a part 2 ASAP. I'm convinced because the only person more pliable than a gay hating, millionaire actor who had no idea what he had for breakfast, let alone authority over a nation this large and powerful. And that's a highly suggestible nepo baby businessman who has lost more money than 100 people will see in their lifetime. Add in a dude who believes revenge is the #1 reason to do anything. So.

narliee

BROOKLYN NINE NINE (2013-2021) 1.16, "The Party"

witkneec

In case no one knows, this woman is responsible for one of the best and romantic episodes of television ever put to film.

Parks and Rec's "Indiana's smallest park" where Ben and Leslie finally get together after a season and a half of false starts and a break up predicated by Ben's attempt to tell Leslie it was ok if they stopped seeing each other so she could fulfill her dream of running for and being on city council.

Chelsea Peretti is one of the best tv writers/ producers/ fixers working (the fact that she's married to Jordan Peele is just next level great, too) and I'm reminded of it everytime I see Gina on B99. What a gift she is.

The episode where she knocks her teeth out and has the lisp is probably in my top 5 tv moments of all time. She's just Insanely talented.

erikahenningsen

DRAMATIC

witkneec

Ok, so Regina is 100% the bad bitch in Mean Girls but I'm always bothered when everyone says she's a bad friend. And yeah, she can be. She's not very nice to them all of the time, but the whole "I'm gonna call Taylor Ordell's mother and pretend I'm from Planned Parenthood bc Gretchen likes that stupid boy who used to guest on Are You Afraid of the Dark" was such a solid friendship move even if it was a little ruinous and crazy for Taylor."

That's all I'm saying. She's not nice a lot of the time, but she pulled off something pretty impressive if you loon at it through the he lens of her trying to do right by her friend "

RIP Taylor Ordell's social life but.

caats

witkneec

He's not allowed munchkin, but I adopted a mostly deaf and completely blind cat named tuxedo. He died due to an unknown allergy to anesthesia and the vet brought him back, but he had severe deficits. The owner told the vet to put him down and the vet just kept him bc he felt so horrible about what had happened. My mom and I are freaks who have brought so many cats to this man over the 20 years we've known him and he knows we both have a huge heart for animals, especially cats. So, I was in grad school when I got a call from my hometown vet asking me if I would take him. The vet had rehabbed him for almost 2 months and it let tux regain his bearings, be able to go to the bathroom on his own, and eat. When he first came out from under the anesthesia, he was wrecked.

Now, he's blind (he can see peripheral shadows and shapes) and a little deaf, but he's the best guy.

The other one I have is a 2 yo male tabby who I found being drowned by a raccoon the size of a smart car. Once I chased the little bastard away from the kitten, his leg was mangled and out of socket.

So, now I have a blind and deaf cat and one with 3 legs. And we're all pretty happy.

skulsakz

fountain in italy

aimee-maroux

This is what I tried to explain to US platforms like Patreon when they suspended my account for having a nude statue as the background image: I live in Europe, I can go and see a nude statue within a 5 minutes walk. Children can see them, they're not in some 18+ container. I will never understand those policies.

midgaard

lesbian-toddhoward

witkneec

Yep. I am always so amused by the amount of people who are just scandalized by breast feeding over here. The breast is, universally, a feeding mechanism. They're there so we can feed our young. My youth minister went to Europe for his honeymoon and was APPALLED when he came back bc when they stayed in France, and there was a woman bathing, completely nude, on a children's show.

I just don't understand it. I never will. Ever.

mysharona1987

Justice for the Oompa Loompa lady.

postapocalypticparenting

Just wait: Gene Wilder is gonna stride out and tell her that she’s gonna inherit the chocolate factory.

witkneec

Charlie, my boy, you did it! You won! Step inside my chocolate factory- everything here is for you!

selenaigomez

THE ARISTOCATS (1970), dir Wolfgang Reitherman

witkneec

I love this so much bc this is full on accuracy irt cats. And dogs. And people.

Like, you can be as purebred and fancy as you want to be and betrothed to the most appropriate person who makes your mom and dad's heart (and wallet) go pitter patter and you're still gonna be walking around in your Sunday (In the Park With George) Best with your stupid, beautiful lace wristlets that have never even seen a speck of dirt with whoever your daddy hired to be your escort, and it only takes one distracted escort who goes chasing after the asshole in a carriage who almost ran you over, all "do you know who she belongs to? Who I work for?" for you to run into a flirty, weirdly charming and dirty pauper and RISK IT ALL to marry/ date/ run off him.

Sorry I don't make the rules.

guooey

neil-gaiman

There can be more than one neil. This is not Highlander.

witkneec

movie-gifs

Mulan dir. Tony Bancroft, Barry Cook | 1998

witkneec

I think it's in the top 10 of all animated films of all time.

stream

Into the fire she swallowed their hate. SILENT HILL (2006) dir. Christophe Gans

witkneec

They dead.

monamoni

witkneec

Just makes me think humans had their asses booted off the planet we used to populate in order to stop us from destroying it or something else we shouldn't be trying to destroy.

These are dinosaurs. And they know we don't belong.

tvandfilm

Easy A (2010) dir. Will Gluck

witkneec

Amanda Bynes, in a just or fair world, would be out there winning Oscars and creating incredible, culture defining art. She was that talented. She is that good, that natural of a comedian. The fact that she carried what was essentially the Carol Burnett Show, Jr. for years and did it so well and ended up here bc of God knows what in that industry really messes me up.

I don't want to make any sweeping indictments on anyone, let alone on what this woman experienced in the pursuit of that.

That being said, I know for a fact that Dan Harmon is a pedophile and a huge piece of shit who used his foot kink as a "joke" that made an appearance in every one of his shows, primarily using the young girls who were the stars of his shows, and it is still happening.

People have breaking points. I would imagine that being the lead in one of the biggest hits for one of the biggest tv channels for kids was life changing for AB. But- I would also like to put it out there that a lot of stress and trauma based disorders permeate the lives of many, many child stars. And a lot of those disorders live and die rooted in abuse.