What writers misunderstand about stimming.
Okay, so one of the biggest problems that I have seen with a lot of neurotypical writers who have stories involving autistic characters is that they really misunderstand and simplify why and how they stim.
The most common reason you'll come across is that autistic people end up engaging in self-stimulatory behavior as a coping mechanism for when they're stressed or anxious, which is not untrue but it is often propped up as if it were the only reason why we do it.
Which is definitely not true, autistic people can and do stim for a number of reasons including but not limited to:
Excitement/happiness to express our joy and fascination with something.
A method of concentration to help ground us in the present moment or a way of focusing our thoughts.
To help process and sort through information.
To help regulate sensory processing and overload.
Unconsciously, because of how naturally it comes to us and we don't even realize we're doing it and not for any specific reason at all other than we like it and it's comforting.
It can also even help to reduce pain!
Also not every single kind of stim is an obvious or 'disruptive' one, they're are about six categories regarding stimming.
Visual (Staring at moving objects, bright colors, lights, fixating on lamps or screens, rapid blinking or eye fluttering, flipping switches and clicking buttons, lining up objects, counting things)
Auditory (Repetitive listening to any kind of music or song as white noise, humming or making vocal sounds, tapping on objects or ears)
Tactile (Rubbing skin or objects between fingers, hand movements, finger tapping)
Taste/Oral (Chewing or mouthing objects, licking, biting, comfort foods, seeking out specific flavors/tastes, playing with food and different textures like crunchy or squishy sensations)
Smell/Olfactory (Sniffing or smelling different things, scented candles, wax melts, perfume, even everyday smells like book pages and coffee)
Vestibular (Rocking back and forth, hand flapping, spinning or swinging, jumping, pacing or walking on tiptoes)
Also a few not so obvious stims: Rewatching media like movies or tv shows, playing with jewelry or hair, doodling, joint cracking, playing with clothing or fabrics, etc.
The problem with the common portrayal of stimming isn't that it's 'wrong' or even entirely inaccurate per se but it lacks diversity and nuance, and every autistic person is unique and won't have all of the same stims or comfort behaviors as another and when you portray one type or way of stimming as if it were the default you help to perpetuate the belief that all other forms of stimming is somehow unnatural and less valid in comparison, and the other issue is that when they do describe stimming they always portray it as a way of highlighting how disruptive and 'troubling' it can be for the people around them to witness while never bothering to show any way of how to simultaneously meet the needs of the autistic person without 'fixing' them somehow or demonizing them and their behavior.
You can't just hold the hand of an autistic person to stop their fidgeting and expect it to solve everything! It's unrealistic, Especially if you hold their hand without permission which would probably make them wanna stim more out of discomfort! I'm tired of seeing this disrespectful and ableistic kind of representation in the media and fanfic I consume, I don't know if others realize it or not but it's actually really harmful to the image we have of ourselves because it makes us out to believe that these unconscious behaviors we have are wrong and need to be discouraged cause it's harmful to the people around us.
It's one thing, if for example it is a stim like picking at or scratching skin which does actively harm them but if it is a stim that doesn't harm themselves or other people then there is no excuse to have our way of being in the world be used as nothing but a moral example to 'adjust' our behavior in order to align with more normalized habits because that's dehumanizing (Flapping our hands in public or fidgeting with items quietly to ourselves is not disruptive!). I personally would love to see more stories with stimming being normalized instead of as a bad habit that needs to always be 'corrected' by those around them and hope there will be more ones like that in the future because it is normal for us and that needs to be acknowledged.
