hello! @wormplant - Tumblr Blog

Ponder like an uncle but post with a nephews spirit

too much emphasis put on mutuals on this site.

ilu followers i never followed back. ilu people i follow who never followed me back. every post on here about mutuals applies to you too.

the-most-phenomenal-banana

the way trump is talking abt hillary makes him sound like a scorned lover lmao what if monica wasn’t bill’s only side bitch??

the-most-phenomenal-banana

you gotta be fucking kidding me

maykitz

mausspacearchive

it’s 2014 can taylor swift stop

gaytanic-panic

people online will just say "I don't trust the Chinese" as if that's normal and not the sort of thing a cartoon racist would say out loud

ender--slime

late-dawnz-early-sunsets

beardedmrbean

unfriendlymoth

dualcasterjay

however small you may think this dog could be, it is sooo much smaller

teaandtoastandthyme

that is a spice-organizer-being-used-a-staircase level of small

somewhereincairparavel

this frame is absolute cinema

imturntdown

Then who was phone? HOLY SHIT, WHO WAS PHONE?!?!!

hungwy

I've been melting dogs down to make this thing called dog metal

hungwy

mundanesalad

it came to me in a vision

bug-lovers-island

Been thinking about hot rod horseshoe crab all day

littleguysdaily

mundanesalad

My ultimate goal was to make and paint it in real life. Thank you all for believing in me!

antigonickpdf

overheard in the coffee shop from a middle aged gay man to his (female) friend: “are you embarrassed? about being foolish? please manage yourself better in this situation. this man is not behaving as if he is interested in you.”

antigonickpdf

“he’s evil. like jeff bezos. Do you understand.” and she’s just nodding with eyes downcast in shame

antigonickpdf

meanwhile some influencer is filming a mukbang three feet away. he’s wearing a domo hat exactly like this one but it’s neon blue and he’s slurping loudly over the idiot sandwich lecture happening nearby

antigonickpdf

i forgot to add this until now but after the gay guy was done scolding his friend and they left, their table was taken up by an aging european twink telling a wealthy-looking bubbe with increasing distress about how much cold cut meat he’d eaten the night before and the funnier she found it the more distraught he got about his nighttime deli frenzy

antigonickpdf

he was like [completely unidentifiable european accent] after you went to bed. i ate ze ham. and ze mortadella also… and. also the prosciutto. no stop giggling at me zis is not funny it was 500 grams each. i ate 500 grams of ze ham and 500 grams of ze mortadella and 500 grams of ze prosciutto and that is ONE POINT FIVE KILOGRAMS OF MEAT !! I ate so many meats!!! Stop giggling at me i am going to be fat!!!! I even ate ze cheeses!!!