Disability, Neurodiversity, Queerness, & More

Moth • any prns • adult • ND, mentally ill, disabled, and very queer • follows from @foxes-and-moths

[worms-in-my-brain]

Hello!

My name is Moth. I have a bachelors degree in biology and psychology. Currently taking a break after finishing university. This is my blog for all things queer and disabled!

Specific identity info below the cut, if you’re interested!

Queer identities that I may reference:

• intersex + transfemasc

• genderfuck! genderfluid + agender

• aroacespec + gay

❄️ I reclaim the terms fag(got) and tranny

I have a lot of stuff going on in my mind, brain, and body:

• AuDHD

• anxiety

• AsPD*

• OSDD

• joint pain

• orthopaedic pain

*I no longer meet the diagnostic criteria due to building coping mechanisms, but I still have the AsPD neurotype and still struggle with certain associated traits

❄️ I also reclaim the terms cripple and gimp.

The only discourse/political stances I will be taking stances on are:

• I’m an anti-capitalist social anarchist

• anti-state

• critical of psychology, psychiatric diagnoses, and psychiatric treatment; important to note that critical ≠ against in all circumstances

• pro self-dx, my diagnoses are actually a mix of prof- and self-dx (5:2 prof:self)

• being assigned a gender at birth was an event in your past. I don’t like the concept of “AFABs” or “AMABs” as classes of people. I was born with an intersex variation which became further evident at puberty and even though I was technically assigned a gender I was ‘closer’ to I now identify myself as AXAB

I will not be taking a stance on any other discourse topics! I prefer to not get involved in stuff, esp. if I don’t know much about it!

I’m also religious— I’m an atheistic luciferian/satanist, and a witch! Prolly won’t come up much though.

Only Cyril and Moth really post here. Personal posts from individual alters will be tagged #[insert alter name] posts.

I compile a page of resources; so far it’s mostly diagnostic stuff and info but I’m working on adding other things to it, too.

[autisticrowanastor]

you’re not a disability advocate if you make fun of people with incontinence or people that drool or peoples motor functions or people with brain damage or people with low intelligence 👍

[worms-in-my-brain]

You’re not a disability advocate if you make fun of “gross” or “embarrassing” issues. I can’t control my upset stomach. People can’t control incontinence or their ability to swallow fluids. People can’t control IBS.

[worms-in-my-brain]

The weird kids were not immune to being bullies.

[anatomy-punk]

Spanking kids is CSA

Spanking kids causes the same neurological impacts as other forms of child abuse

Adults spank each other to become aroused, it is very very common

What do you think happens to a child whose caregivers do that to them?

[worms-in-my-brain]

^^ There have been multiple studies finding this.

There have also been studies finding that children who were spanked “grow up to be healthy adults.” I would point out that many people with trauma, especially complex trauma, become good at masking it and seeming to function well or be okay even given serious trauma underlying it.

Spanking is CSA. Neurological studies agree. Child behavioural studies agree (spanked children are more likely to have emotional issues). Abuse survivors agree.

[b00knerd1o1]

If you begin a study with the intention of curing Autism, it's not going to be accurate.

[worms-in-my-brain]

Autism research, especially in adults, is just so incredibly lacking. It’s sad.

[wildbasil]

things haven't been great but i think they will be. eventually 🌻🌼🩷

[shamebats]

We're genuinely so brave for the way we somehow manage to navigate cis society never knowing wtf is going on in their heads at any given time

[diogenes-2-electric-boogaloo]

I was living with a trans friend for a month and I was on mic playing minecraft with a cis friend, who I swear to god is not bigoted, just really really fucking dumb. Anyways my cis friend wanted to talk to his cis friend, who had the same name as my trans friends deadname, and my cis friend asked my trans friend in genuine good faith if he had to call his cis friend by her name too

[shamebats]

Allies take note

[trans-kafka]

If you're trans and morosexual you have it made.

[worms-in-my-brain]

Being an ally to autistic people is more than understanding that we might not always get social cues.

It’s also respecting our perspectives as valuable and accurate.

If every time you hear about a conflict involving an autistic person your train of thought goes something like, “I’m sure they didn’t mean it like that but I’m sorry they did that!” and not, “I should probably hear their perspective before I assume that the person I’m talking to is giving me a perfectly accurate depiction of events,” then there is something wrong!!

I’m saying this because this or things like this have happened to me with MULTIPLE different friend groups and the result is never good. I always feel like I’m not respected, like they don’t value me or my emotions, I feel infantilised and like my autonomy has been disrespected. And on top of that, my friends end up assuming things about me that aren’t true! Maybe I said what I said not because I was “confused and didn’t understand” but rather because the other person was being an ass?? That option is NEVER considered when you’re autistic. And then because they assume that they also assume I’m going to react to certain things in ways I straight up won’t. Like they’ll assume I’ll get really mad when I never have in that situation before just because they think I don’t understand a situation and they think I’m categorically in the wrong and need to be “corrected” or “let down easy” or something when, in reality, what I really needed was to have a talk with my friends and actually communicate so that the misunderstanding could be cleared up.

And this applies even when autism IS the reason I understood something differently (it’s not always just didn’t understand—it can also be understood differently), that doesn’t make my autistic perspective any less valuable or real. If somebody said “meet me at 5” and meant “meet me at 5:15-30” and I got annoyed because I had to wait for them 20 mins even though I can’t stand for that long, my perspective is still a valid one. It’s not, “oh well Cyril is autistic so of course you have to talk to them like a child or else they’ll throw a fit,” it’s, “Cyril is autistic but their perspective is not a child’s perspective, it’s an autistic perspective, so they don’t deserve to be treated as a child, they deserve clear communication with appreciation of their autism and also treatment and respect as an autonomous adult with their own emotions.”

Honestly the people who treat me best are the people who see me primarily as a person and not an autistic person. Like yes you do have to keep in mind that I am autistic, but you can’t be reading every single one of my actions through the lens of autism, or you’re never going to see me as another person who you can, in fact, understand and relate to, even though you are not yourself autistic! I’m not an alien. If I can understand you, albeit not perfectly, then you can, to some extent, understand me.

[worms-in-my-brain]

Side note though shout out to my university’s accessibility services. They were really helpful for me in so many areas and they were really flexible too, when I misunderstood the syllabi it wasn’t a problem to let my advisor know so they could contact the prof and adjust the way my work was graded.

It wasn’t even a problem when I contacted them last minute to get accommodations for my physical disability (I wouldn’t usually require any as my cane helps me get around well enough and I simply didn’t walk that much for uni, just from class to class. But I did end up needing them for one class with field components and my advisor was really helpful!).

They also accommodated based off of need and not diagnosis. I turned down certain accommodations for my AuDHD and was able to have others I needed more instead of just being given a standard profile of accommodations.

This is how disability support should work. I do think the university should have done a better job forcing profs to comply with accessibility services. That’s my one issue. Sometimes the profs were pains. But the people working at accessibility services were always wonderful and extremely helpful!

[worms-in-my-brain]

Recently one of us has been fronting more. Not one that uses this blog.

We haven’t posted regularly in a long time and I don’t know when/if that will change. I’ll try to post when I’m fronting but I also want to spend time on other interests. Apologies!

[worms-in-my-brain]

I’m begging people to use critical thinking skills when it comes to psychiatry and psychology.

Therapy is not a cure-all. Sometimes therapy can hurt more than it helps. I actually have overall negative experiences with therapy! From therapists telling me my violent thoughts were due to me being ace-spec to therapists who see an autism diagnosis and start baby talking me and trying to contact my parents instead of just asking me things directly… to therapists I just don’t mesh with and whose therapy styles don’t work well with me. Telling people to unilaterally seek therapy when they have any sort of mental issue without warning them of the risks as well is irresponsible.

At the same time, though, just because therapy can be bad and just because psychology can be used as a tool to oppress neurodivergent people does not mean it has zero use and nobody needs mental health treatment. Mental health problems are still very real and, in many cases, they can still hurt the people who have them. And even when it’s a neurodivergence that’s not a mental illness, people still need help coping! People with depression and/or anxiety still need access to therapy and medications, people with ADHD still need medications, people with BPD still need DBT, etc. Even though these psychiatric diagnoses may be in part (or in whole) social constructs, that doesn’t mean that these treatments don’t work, it doesn’t mean that there still aren’t people out there trying to come up with better treatments every day.

Psychology is a tool of social control, but it is also a science. You can’t focus on one of those aspects while completely ignoring the other. It’s dangerous.

[worms-in-my-brain]

I haven’t posted here is a hot second but wanted to make a post because I have finally recovered from all/most of the lasting impacts of COVID/long COVID!

This is partially a celebratory post since I’m really glad it’s easier to breathe now, I’m glad my nasal passages aren’t inflamed anymore, I’m glad I’m not congested constantly, I’m glad I’m getting sick less often now, and I’m glad I don’t have any more brain fog or fatigue!!

It’s also particularly a cautionary post and partially a post to raise awareness. I am a 21 year old (20 at time of infection) with no immune deficiencies (aside from those induced by my COVID infection). And I was dealing with the impacts of my COVID infection for a year.

COVID is no joke. It’s not ‘just a cold.’ Stay up to date on your vaccines.

[sevaria]

THE TRANSSEXUAL

[homoqueerjewhobbit]

Wow, this "gender free" fashion brand sure doesn't have any AMAB models.

[homoqueerjewhobbit]

Gonna die fucking mad about this. If you can't put someone with a beard in one of your skirts, is your clothing gender neutral? If your brand is full of plus-sized black femmes and white, androgynous bean poles, do you really have a handle on diversity?

[homoqueerjewhobbit]

You passed peer review. Highlighted for emphasis but again:

[worms-in-my-brain]

This just reminds me of how tomboyx wound up being transphobic and misgendered their models.

I would bet that 99% of these brands don’t even see the transmasc models they hire as anything but Spicy Women. The reason they don’t hire models with more masculine bodies is because their goal isn’t to make clothes that are gender-neutral and for everyone—their goal is to make clothes that are ‘gender-neutral’ for all of the Spicy Women with Spicy Identities to wear. In other words, their goal isn’t gender-neutral clothing. It’s clothing targeting an untapped demographic of people they see as women: transmascs.

TBH the only brand I’ve ever seen that hasn’t had some sort of allegations of transphobia come out (that I know of) is Beefcake Swimwear (and you’ll notice that they actually do have models with masculine bodies).

* I don’t use AMAB and AFAB here bc I don’t like those terms very much, but I do agree with OPs tags that transfems are also underrepresented in addition to trans people with masculine bodies, in particular transfems with masculine bodies.

[eliyahu613]

Erasure is something that cannot be contained. You cannot say with a straight face that transfems have it worse than transmascs by citing statistics after acknowledging that the statistics will not report a lot of incidents against transmascs. The point of transmasc erasure is that WE DON'T KNOW how bad transmascs have it.

[the-catboy-minyan]

why are people still at it with the "[x] have it worse" thing? why are you comparing human pain?

is being abused not enough? is being excluded and othered by your community for how you were born not enough? how much trauma does a person need to go though until it is seen as valid?

when you turn the discussion of abuse to a competition of "who has it worse", you're not only invalidating transmascs, you're invalidating other transfems who faced "milder" abuse.

everyone has their own life experience, but we all experienced being excluded and mocked at least once in our life, why are we doing the same things to our own community?

[genderkoolaid]

cis people stop doing this shit challenge

[cosmogenous]

jobs for girls who can't focus and are tired all the time and aren't rlly that good looking and get startled easily