Hi guys! I'm currently in the middle of exam season so this unfortunately isn't the awakening of my writing endeavours YET.
But I've heard of the recent commotion around Victor's VA Jonah Scott and his termination of contract. Kiro and Gavin's VAs have decided to leave the game indefinitely as well. I'm saddened by Elex and Papergames' way of handling this affair, and while I do understand they have to obey Chinese governmental policy, the treatment of Jonah was dreadful.
I hope everyone in the community is hanging on right now. Are you guys still playing the game? I'm currently not, although the future might change that. As far as writing goes, I do really adore these characters and will probably still enjoy writing for them, if that is something you guys don't feel is outrageous.
Even to those who've deleted the game, I hope the writings here can help you with immersing yourself in that world without having to play the game.
Can I just say... Iâve been re-reading your youtube!au of mlqc so much! I also began reading your other mlqc works and gaaaaaaahhhhh Iâm in love with your writing so sooooo much! Thank you so much for writing them! Youâre amazing! đđ¤
Ahhhhh you're so sweet đĽ°đş I'm so glad you enjoy my works!!
I had so much fun writing that au, and it makes me so happy to see that other people liked it as well đ
I have so many drafts left for MLQC, but I binged all of Jujutsu Kaisenâs released episodes today, so I thought Iâd write something for everyoneâs favourite disaster teacher and strongest sorcerer, Gojo Satoru. Heâs honestly caught my heart. I tried to make the character a bit non-descriptive (besides the golden eyes), so you can try to fill in the blanks yourself.
Thereâs definitely not going to be a lot of content until at least February of next year. I apologise for that...but Iâm a stressed college student and I only have a limited amount of time to spare, Iâm afraid.
As always, enjoy the read.
Love,
R.
⏠pairing: gs x fem!reader.
⏠summary: Good morning, Satoru.
⏠words: 715. Drabble length!
⏠warning(s): Slight implications of nsfw. No actual nsfw.
Thereâs something strange about mornings this calm, where the natural light wakes you instead of a nightmare, or a beeping alarm. You donât know what time it is either...and you donât care. Iâm surprised the old bastards let us go on a honeymoon with the surge in powerful curses lately...but if they can get rid of him, I suppose thatâs a win-win situation.
The white sheets rustle when you try turning around to face your sleeping husband. The hand on your waist glides across your skin, long fingers twitching to signal the rousing of the man next to you. Ever the light sleeper...
Instead of revealing his enchanting sapphire eyes to the space within this luxurious penthouse bedroom, Satoru merely hums, pulling you closer to snuggle his nose in the crook of your neck. He wakes soon after though, your hiss of slight discomfort alerting him.
âWhat is it, sugar?â Satoru lifts his head slightly to look at your face. His pale white brows are furrowed in worry.
âHmm,â you groan, âItâs nothing...Iâm just a little sore.â
The worried expression disappears as quickly as it came, instantly being replaced by a teasing grin. After propping his head up on his hand, Satoru rakes his eyes appreciatively over the various red marks scattered across your body, a testament of last nightâs events. âAh, Iâm sorry~ I just couldnât hold back.â His words donât match his tone at all, and golden eyes meet sapphire with an accusing glare.
âYouâre not sorry, you bastard.âÂ
âNot at all.â Satoru nods solemnly.
With a comical huff, you pull the sheets over your shoulders, turning away from your newlywed husband. Satoru settles back down on the pillows, tugging you back into his arms, blanket and all. He peppers butterfly kisses all over your back and shoulders, begging you to look at him.
âBaby,â kiss, âhoney,â kiss, âsugar,â kiss, âCupcaaaaake,â he whines. You donât turn around, stifling your giggles but curious to see how far heâll take it.Â
Satoru notices this, his kisses migrating up your neck, towards your ear. âCutie,â kiss, âPumpkin,â kiss, âSweetheart,â kiss, âWifey.â Your body tenses up beneath him, ears growing red. Satoru pauses, a delighted smile appearing on his face when you finally turn to face him.
âWhat did you just call me?â
âWifey,â he repeats, studying your flustered face intently. You smile through the slight embarrassment and surprise, realising that this is real. Your eyes follow his movements with a look of adoration as he raises your left hand up to his lips, planting a soft kiss on your wedding ring. âMy wifey.â
âI-â your eyes glisten with tears, which you blink away when you pull Satoru in for a kiss. Plush, pillowy lips collide with your own, lazily, passionately. Satoru kisses you deliberately, without haste, as if youâre the constant in his life, as if, despite all the dangers of the outside world, he has all the time in the world to spare for you. His hands caress your cheeks, wiping away any stray tears that have managed to slip down your cheekbones.
Satoru pulls you on top of him when you break apart to catch a breath, your hands steadying your body on the taut muscle of his bare chest. They glide towards the back of his neck when you reach back for another kiss as if youâre trying to pull him impossibly closer. As if youâre trying to breach infinity for him. Satoruâs tongue swipes across your bottom lip languidly, and you respond by kissing him even deeper. The two of you are lost to the world outside, holding onto each other in a bond that is no less sacred than the ceremony and no less powerful than the one you shared last night.
Still in his embrace, you pull away, slightly heavy breaths falling from your lips against his. You lift yourself up after one last sweet peck, staring lovingly into his eyes.Â
âGood morning, hubby,â you murmur. Giggles spill from your mouth when Satoruâs eyes widen, clear ocean blue pools glittering brighter than ever. Ah, so it works on him too.
Your victory is short-lived though, as a moment later, youâre flipped on your back with a yelp, your husbandâs legs slotting themselves in between yours. But when wanton lips move hungrily down your body, you find yourself not minding the loss.
synopsis: âwhoever brings forward the blade of the dragon king will have my daughterâs hand in marriage.â you donât think your father thought that through very well.
pairing: fantasy!bakugou x royal fem!reader
genre: drama, fluff
warnings: misogyny, established toxic family
word count:Â 4.1k
a/n: i wanted to write fantasy bakugou and now my search history is flooded with dragon research. hope you enjoy, and happy reading!
Clink, clinkâŚ
How hard would you have to press on your knife to crack the fine porcelain of your plate?
âY/N, this is final.â
You sawed harder at the fragile steak in front of you, hissing your answer through grit teeth as you ripped the meat to shreds in your frustration.
âI donât wantââ
âY/N, either you choose a condition for your suitors to fulfill or I choose for you. Youâve been putting this off for far too long.â
Hey, real stressed out right now, if you're not too busy can I get the Mlqc boys with a stressed out s/o? I'm in some need of some serotonin, love your work x
mlqc | so will i
Hi hun, Iâm very sorry to hear that. I hope youâll feel better soon. If this doesnât end up giving you enough serotonin, I have something a little similar up on my blog: here
That said, I think Iâm becoming a comfort writer, and I canât really complain about that. So, hereâs a couple of quick and loving headcanons for each boy.
Much love,
R.
Victor
Victor isnât actually all that cold as a husband anyways (and we ALL know author RĂŠ likes their moody boys just a little gooey)Â
but when youâre stressed? oh boy this gentleman is ready to do anything in his power to make you feel better
he was deadass about to buy a whole spa before you stopped him and told him you just need him to hold you
âOh. I...guess I can do that.â be careful, this man will not let you go until you feel better
as an excellent chef, heâs also The Person to ask when you need comfort food
mac & cheese? you got it. congee? already done. chicken noodle soup? yes yes.
the way to a personâs heart is through their stomach and mine is currently growling
on occasion, heâll be the cause of your stress, and while he doesnât want to favour you over his other employees necessarily, he does understand that sometimes you need a break
for once, heâll be the one pulling you from your work
how does he notice youâre stressed? your reports become dangerously subpar. sorry hun, itâs the truth
if you donât listen to him and keep working yourself to near death, heâll just have to use drastic measures
did he swing you over his shoulder? yup.
did you low-key enjoy it because his ass is Immaculate? also yup.Â
he knows you like it when he pampers you, so when youâre stressed out, heâll run you a nice bath with expensive oils and soaps
heâll wash your back for you, digging his large fingers into those knots at the nape of your neck
afterwards, Vic will brush your hair for you, making sure youâre all cozy in your fluffy robe
he doesnât like to admit it, but seeing you relax warms his heart and makes up for all the mediocre reports you write
Lucien
our favourite perceptive professor notices right away
i mean, everyone has tells when they start getting stressed out, and Lucien knows yours like the back of his hand
sometimes, he even notices before you do. how does that even happen?
prepare for the endless amounts of chamomile tea heâll make you drink
Lucienâs very supportive of what you do, but he also reminds you that you need to rest like a filthy hypocrite~
so heâll jot down cheeky notes in your agenda
14:00 / come have a relaxing walk in the park with me. ~L
7:30 early morning online meeting 8:00 have a lie-in with your favourite scientist. for research purposes, of course
you confront him about it and heâs just staring at you with this innocent look thatâs absolutely illegal because youâre not innocent Lucien, not in the slightest i wonât believe it iâm not going to fall for itâdamnit i fell for it
âAm I not allowed to take care of my little flower?â
is really good at clearing your schedule
like, suspiciously good
heâll probably help you with anything youâve got going on regarding paperwork, and instead of having to do research for a production, a whole stack of highlighted and marked articles will already be on your desk, waiting for you to quickly sift through everything
on a more serious note, he does know a lot about destressing and ways to relax
so heâll suggest practicing mindfulness together, or something similarÂ
from experience, these things may sound silly, but breathing exercises or meditation can really just refocus your brain on the tasks at hand to lessen stress. obviously though, this is all very personal
but he knows he canât love your negative emotions away, so most importantly, heâs always there for you
whether it is to listen to you rant, to give advice or even just to soothingly rub his thumb over your shoulder
Lucienâs always right next to you, and thatâs one less thing to worry about
Gavin
Birdcop! lately iâve been associating him with bnhaâs Hawks/Keigo, and i donât know how to feel about that. but i digress
Gavinâs not the quickest to pick up on your emotions
like, he knows thereâs something going on because his mind is filled with you all day, but he canât really decipher whatâs wrong
will just straight up ask you whatâs going on, how youâre feeling, etc
i always turn Gavin into this really understanding and communicative, healthy relationship poster boy, but yâall deserve it
âBabe? Are you feeling alright?â
if the answer is no, this man just clears his schedule for a week, or a month, or a whole year Gavin you canât ignore your responsibilities donâtâ
not really, but he does go out of his way to spend more time with you
clocks out earlier, only does missions that require him,...
flies to you the moment heâs got time to spare
does so recklessly. gets caught by some people who, fortunately, are convinced itâs just some very weird humanoid bird. gets reprimanded by STF. does not care.
at home he doesnât really do more than give you space when you need it, offer a listening ear when you need that. heâs really not doing anything grand, because thatâs not really Gavin, but he lets you know that he cares, and thatâs good enough.
Gavin will force Minor to look out for you at work, and will stage a freakinâ intervention if youâre getting overworked
âMC, youâre getting kidnapped.â wraps you into a blanket like a burrito and flies home with you in his arms
actually flying seems like a relaxing thing to do, especially at night
when the stars are twinkling, the moon is glowing, and youâre high above the city, all your problems seem just a little smaller
Kiro
the chances of him not knowing youâre feeling bad arenât very small
heâs obviously very busy, and if heâs overseas...
being concerned that youâre going to be lonely without him like he is without you does make him call you as often as he possibly can
heâs a clingy pupper, what can i say
he picks up the stressed out tone in your voice though, even when you try to hide it
âOh, Miss/Mr. Chips, you canât fool me, The Best Actor Of All Time. Now, tell me...are you alright?â imagine him saying that last bit in like a hushed, slightly worried tone. i wouldnât even be able to lie
heâll let you complain as long as you want on the phone, even when Savinâs been calling him
heâll just hide in the closet so he doesnât get found
when he goes back home, the first thing he does is trap you in a big hug
he refuses to let you go, pouting about how worried he was, and how much better heâll make you feel
âBecause Iâm your brightest star after all!â
if heâs free while youâre feeling stressed, for example, when youâre at home together, heâll do something silly to cheer you up
like dance on the coffee table
yup. thatâs why it broke.
i donât think heâd be too focused on your problems, as in, he doesnât need to know 100% of whatâs going on
Kiro just kind of zooms in on the fact that youâre feeling sad, overwhelmed, stressed out, and heâll do anything in his power to relieve that feeling
and thatâs one of his qualities, to be fair
youâre not going to do stuff like have long chats about your feelings, but he is going to propose doing face masks together to calm down
maybe youâll play a couple of video games together
at the end of the day, how could you worry when your sun is right next to you?
Shaw
look, i donât know if youâre of legal drinking age...but Shawâs coping mechanism is drinking and going out
so the moment you say you feel bad, heâs whipping out the wine, hun
lowkey wants to drag you to the club to make you forget about your problems...but even he realises how inappropriate that type of behaviour is
heâs actually a lot cuter when heâs a little tipsy
âHm, beautiful.â âWhat?â âNothing.â
Shawâs also a huge diva, which is canon now you guys canât stop me from making it canon
so you guys will have matching head bands on, face masks, glasses of wine, bottles of nail polish, talking about how horrible life is
youâre venting to him, and he vents back, and you just both come to the conclusion that life sUCKS, work sUCKS and Shaw...doesnât suck at all
the next morning, you wake up slightly disheveled and a bit disoriented
but you feel significantly lighter
well, not physically, since thereâs literally an arm slung around your waist
he doesnât really change much about his behaviour...but you notice heâs a tad more affectionate
and a lot less mean
like, forehead poking suddenly turned into teasing hair ruffling.
tickling turns into soft kisses in the crook of your neck while youâre cooking
his rough hands intertwine with yours
âDonât just overwork yourself, stupid.â
ahh, his words donât match his actions at all
I had very little inspiration for Shaw...but I wanted to get this out ASAP. Feel free to send in any requests!
I think these are âfightingâ scenarios, but Iâm not 100% sure at this point. Itâs like a ârelationship on the cliffsâ thing. Pt. 1 for Victor and Shaw because I noticed these were getting a tad long. And they kind of carry the same theme, I guess. Wanted to include Lucien, but I ended up not being able to finish his for nowâŚso if I make the next part, heâll probably be on there.
Iâm still working on a hp!au for Victor, but that may take a while since the inspiration doesnât seem to be arriving anytime soon. Itâs all been a bit tough, sorry. I say this all the time, but I apologise for the lack of fics; my writing paceâs been slow.
As always, enjoy the read!
Love,
R.
Warning(s): slight angst, profanity, mention of mature content.
Ooooooo I was ready to come in and slap some sense into these two dummies!!! These were so well-written and you captured their personalities perfectly. I actually didnât think Shaw was OOC at all. I loved how you turned these two hard asses into a pair of desperate and pleading softies đ
I feel like these two are a bit rough around the edges (and incredibly dishonest about their feelings), so I wanted to push them to the point of vulnerability. Iâm glad they made you angry...in a way ;)
I think these are âfightingâ scenarios, but Iâm not 100% sure at this point. Itâs like a ârelationship on the cliffsâ thing. Pt. 1 for Victor and Shaw because I noticed these were getting a tad long. And they kind of carry the same theme, I guess. Wanted to include Lucien, but I ended up not being able to finish his for nowâŚso if I make the next part, heâll probably be on there.
Iâm still working on a hp!au for Victor, but that may take a while since the inspiration doesnât seem to be arriving anytime soon. Itâs all been a bit tough, sorry. I say this all the time, but I apologise for the lack of fics; my writing paceâs been slow.
As always, enjoy the read!
Love,
R.
Warning(s): slight angst, profanity, mention of mature content.
Ahhhhhhhh, fresh angst. These were satisfying and poignant. Really, really loved this. Thanks for bringing the not-so-soft side of these relationships to light.
Thank you for the kind comment. I was a little worried about my angst-writing skills (I donât write a ton of it, to be fair), so this makes me extremely happy~
I think these are âfightingâ scenarios, but Iâm not 100% sure at this point. Itâs like a ârelationship on the cliffsâ thing. Pt. 1 for Victor and Shaw because I noticed these were getting a tad long. And they kind of carry the same theme, I guess. Wanted to include Lucien, but I ended up not being able to finish his for now...so if I make the next part, heâll probably be on there.
Iâm still working on a hp!au for Victor, but that may take a while since the inspiration doesnât seem to be arriving anytime soon. Itâs all been a bit tough, sorry. I say this all the time, but I apologise for the lack of fics; my writing paceâs been slow.
As always, enjoy the read!
Love,
R.
Warning(s): slight angst, profanity, mention of mature content.
Victor
You love Victor. You really do. But sometimes, just sometimes you wonder why you put up with this man and his bullshit. A great downside to being involved both romantically and professionally is that those types of relationships tend to bleed into one another. This could be in the form of an office quickie...or something a lot less fun.Â
On the outside, Victor may seem put together, but you know him well enough by now that this month has been incredibly stressful for him. But so has it been for you. Safe to say, itâs been tense, even at home. Victorâs constant nagging about work performance and his snide comments at your so-called slacking off have pushed you to the breaking point, and youâre really not going to sit there and take it today.
âDo you even understand what Iâm saying? LFG canât move forward with your company if you continue working at this inefficient pace. You, as the head of a company, should know how to improve the quality and efficiency of your work.â
You sigh, not taking your eyes off of the laptop in front of you as Victor exasperatedly throws another one of your proposals on the coffee table. âI get it. Just give me some time.â You rub your temples, getting back to your own work.
âDo you? It doesnât seem like you get the point here. You. Do. Not. Have. Time,â he harshly points out.
âYou know youâre able to manipulate time, right?â You raise an eyebrow and look up at his unamused face.Â
âI canât favour you like this. Did you really think I was going to stop time to solve your inefficiency problem? You canât rely on others all the time. A company that canât pull itself up is useââÂ
Something in you snaps at that very moment. âI get it. Weâre useless, inefficient, and weâre so lucky LFG is even willing to support this failing company. Iâm a useless boss, I canât do anything right, Iâm leeching off of my rich, CEO boyfriend to get ahead, I fucked my way to the top, whatever. Tell me something I donât know,â you snarl, slamming your laptop shut with a resounding snap.
âYou know thatâs not what Iâm saying.â Victorâs glaring now, sharp, stormy eyes boring into yours.
âOh, do I?â you mimic his words, narrowing your eyes, âBecause you sure donât seem to tell me otherwise. I canât read minds, Victor, and all I hear from your mouth are insults telling me how incapable I am as a boss. So pray tell, how am I supposed to think I deserve my job when not only the entire business world, but also my own fucking boyfriend tells me I donât?â
Victorâs clearly taking aback by your sudden outburst, but his need to get his point across in this argument seems to win over the instinct to lighten your mood at this very moment. âFirst of all, I donât know why you care what others sayââ
âBecause Iâm human! Maybe you donât think of people calling you names anymore because theyâre lost in the sea of people literally grovelling at your feet, but Iâm not you,â you rub your temples again, voice lowering as the mental exhaustion kicks in.
âI donât know if I can live like this anymore. Fuck Victor, you make me feel like a failure and you just donât seem to care.â You push past his stunned form and head to the bedroom.
âSleep in your office if all you care about is work.â You glance back at him for the last time before slamming the bedroom door shut.
Victor messed up. Royally. He didnât mean to take his stress and anger out on you and he definitely didnât mean to act like your boss at home.Â
Heâs been trying to get back to work for the past two hours while giving you some space, but the lingering guilt and worry in the back of his mind prevent him from actually doing anything productive. What if you really meant it? What if this is it? He canât lose you just because he acted like an idiot. Victorâs always assumed you knew he cherished you more than anything in the world...but maybe heâs been neglecting you as a partner.
With a steel resolve to make it right, Victor leaves his home office and walks to your shared bedroom. The light from the hallway streams in as he opens the door, illuminating your sleeping figure. Youâre curled in on yourself in a protective, almost guarded way, something you never do (youâre usually the kind of sleeper that has their limbs flopping everywhere on the bed). Victor feels a sharp pang in his heart at the notion of seeing you look this broken...because of him.
Gently, as to not wake you, he shuffles to the dresser, carefully taking off his shirt and folding it over a chair. After sufficiently (un)dressing himself, he slides under the sheets.Â
Victor tentatively reaches a hand over to touch your arm, only to feel you turn away from his touch. Instead of pulling his hand back, Victor brings his hand around your waist, pulling you flush against his bare chest.
Youâre awoken by the sudden movement, and in your sleepy state, you lean back into the warmth surrounding you.
Victorâs breath grazes your ear as he whispers. âIâm sorry.â Hm?
Your mind slowly registers that the warmth is, in fact, caused by Victorâs body heat, and more importantly, that youâre still very much upset with him. You struggle to get out of his grip, but that only seems to tighten the hold Victor has on you.
âDonât. Stay with me,â he pleads, voice tinged with despair. Youâve never seen him this vulnerable before. You still your actions, instead opting to turn around to face Victor.
âI donât know if this is what I want,â you speak up after a long moment of silence, âI love you, but I donât want to be stuck in a relationship where Iâm not welcomed.â
âDo you feel like youâre stuck here?â Victor asks.
You avoid his gaze. âIâm not sure. Itâs not all your fault, but I do wonder whether you stopped caring about me sometimes. Youâve been so harsh to me, lately.â
âI didnât, I never stopped caring,â Victor takes your hand in his left one, interlacing your fingers, âBut I understand that Iâve made you feel insecure and uncared for. I never wanted to make you feel worthless, but Iâve gone too far this time, havenât I?â
A mirthless chuckle escapes your mouth. âThatâs an understatement,â you quip.
You expect Victor to retort back with something mean, revert to his distant self (at least, to the distant person heâs become this month), but instead, he gently cups your cheek with his right hand, raising your face up to look at him again.
A soft kiss is placed on your forehead. âIâm sorry. Iâll try to be less harsh, and Iâll do anything it takes for you to forgive me. Iâll fix it all, your insecurities, your anxiousness. So give me one more chance, please. Let me fix it.â Victorâs beautiful grey eyes look into yours, sadness apparent on his face. You lie there for a long while, staring into his sombre eyes in silence.
âYouâll do anything?â you finally ask in curiosity. A resolute nod is your answer. âEven stop talking about work at home?â Victor nods again. You pause for a while, contemplating your next request. â...And take me to Souvenir and make me pudding every day?â
Victor snorts. âThatâs the least I can do, dummy,â he chuckles lightly. Suddenly, his eyes widen. âI donât mean youâre dumb. I justââ
Your soft giggle breaks his anxious ramble, and Victor feels like heâs just won the biggest prize at the lottery. âJust this is fine,â you whisper, âI thought itâd take longer for me to forgive you. But for some reason...Iâm just happy to see your old self again.â
Victor sighs, pulling you closer. He presses his lips onto the crown of your head, inhaling deeply. âDummy, donât be so kind to me. I wonât know what to do,â he mumbles, relishing in the dark quiet of your bedroom. Truth is, he probably never knows what to do when it comes to you.
âYou just have to love me, thatâs all,â you pull your hand out of his, instead hooking your pinkies together, âNo take-backsies.â
He rolls his eyes at your antics, a fond expression betraying the lack of annoyance behind the gesture. His pinky finger curls around yours ever so slightly, as if itâs desperate to hold onto yours. As if heâs desperate to hold onto you.Â
âNo take-backsies.â
Shaw
âNot again,â you growl under your breath.
Shawâs always been popular with the ladies, the gents, and the non-binary friends. Which is fine, itâs fine. Youâre not a jealous person. Youâve dealt with people asking him out, people asking him if he was a celebrity and making you take pictures of him and some other person on a date, older ladies in your family groping him whenever you bring him to a family function (which really, isnât about jealousy. You got mad, rightfully so, because they were harassing him). You canât even remember how many times one of his campus students has confessed to him. With you right next to him at the table! Is it that unbelievable that Iâm his significant other?
But too far is too far.
You walked into the fancy nightclub tonight, expecting to get a drink or two in your system, let loose with Shaw for a couple of hours, drag his drunk ass home and cuddle in bed. Not this.Â
The moment you walk in, you spot Shawâs lavender coloured mop of hair sticking out over one of the booths. But heâs not alone, oh no. Heâs surrounded by young men and women fawning over him like heâs some kind of celebrity or host club guest. And even though he looks a little bored, heâs not exactly bothered by the attention heâs getting. Because of course he isnât. The moment his eyes land on you though, he looks you up and down appreciatively before shooting you a challenging smirk. He reaches over to a long-haired girl next to him, lazily fingering a lock of her hair. She looks up at him with a coy smile, but his amber eyes are fixed on yours, gauging your reaction. Oh, so he wants me to come over? Play the little jealous significant other? Hah! Not today, boy. I didnât come here to play games.Â
You raise an eyebrow, a visibly annoyed expression showing on your face. Instead of heading in his direction, you strut to the bar, shoes tapping rhythmically on the floor. I look hot, I feel hot, and I need a fucking drink.Â
You order a bourbon on the rocks, gulping down a large sip of the beverage a soon as it gets to you. Bourbon is made to be savoured. You hear Victorâs voice resounding in your mind from the time he taught you how to judge alcohol for a production. So am I, but nobodyâs been thinking of that, apparently. You turn around with a scowl, leaning against the bar. You feel horrible, and the fact that Shawâs back to his childish antics isnât making that any better. An exasperated sigh leaves your lips as you tilt your head back, closing your eyes. The flashing lights are blurry, but still noticeable through your closed eyelids. But what you donât notice, is the man heading over to you from his side of the bar.Â
Shaw notices. How could he not? The moment you walked in the room, all he could see was you. And he knows heâs being a little shit, trying to make you jealous like that, but he canât help wanting to play with you. Itâs just a game of push and pull, and maybe he just wanted to see how hard youâd pull for him.
He didnât expect you to react like that, though.
So here he is, so uncharacteristically walking (or strutting, because he is still sort of himself, after all) away from the admiring crowd of people around him and towards his clearly pissed off lover. And the man whoâs clearly trying to chat you up.
ââbuy you a drink?â he overhears. Shaw halts and watches the blinding spotlights in the club illuminate the sight in front of him.
He sees you lean closer to the man, foreheads almost touching in a conspiring way, before you shrug and the two of you turn to the bar. The man flags down the bartender, holding two fingers up. Heâs just ordering two drinks for himself. Thatâs it.
His gait picks up again as he sees the bartender slide your favourite drink across the counter. Before you can even take a sip of bourbon, the textured glass is ripped out of your hand. Shaw downs the amber liquid, the burning sensation washing away the bitter taste of jealousy.Â
âThanks for ordering me a drink, honey,â he emphasizes the pet name, grinning at you before turning his head to the man with a fierce glare. The man raises his hands in defense, shakes his head at you with a smile, and promptly heads back to the other side of the bar. Shaw turns to you, the grin slipping back on his face momentarily.
âAlready cheating on me?â he asks, masking the slight hurt behind a teasing façade. Shaw plops down on the stool next to you, watching your face. You look slightly guilty at first, but then your expression morphs back into one of anger...and exhaustion. You arenât actually cheating on me, are you?
âFunny thing for you to say,â you ground out.Â
â...So you were jealous.â
âThatâs what you take from that?â You stare at him incredulously, his smug grin slowly sliding off of his face. Iâm making it worse. Why did I make it worse?
âJesus, youâre a prick,â you sigh, âNo drink can fix this evening. Iâm just going to go home. Do what you want, I donât care anymore.â You climb out of your seat, making a beeline for the exit. Shaw is quick to follow you outside, grabbing your wrist before you can flag down a cab.
âLet me go, Shaw.â
âHey, hey, it was a joke. You know that, right?â His ears are ringing from the loud music back in the club, but the sudden quietâs more deafening than any song booming from the speakers. It feels sad, and Shaw hates it.
âI said, let me go.â Youâre refusing to look at him. Why is it turning out like this?
âIt was a joke. If I let go, youâre going to leave. Donât leave me,â the slight pleading of his voice makes you turn around to look at his face. He tentatively releases your wrist, and you make no move to leave...yet.
âI donât want to play these games anymore.â
He looks at you with furrowed brows. âI donât understand,â he says.
âIs it fun, to try and make me jealous? To remind me of the fact that Iâm somehow not suited for you, that after this amount of time, Iâm still not enough for you?â you poke a finger into his lithe chest, âBecause guess what, you succeeded. Iâm jealous. I admit it, you won.â
 âI didnâtâAnd you took that guyâs offer for a drink! Youâre not better!â Shaw suddenly raises his voice, his stance akin to that of a wolf on guard.
âI told him I had a boyfriend! And you know why he bought me a drink? Because he said I looked like I needed a pick me up. And you didnât even notice! Even worse, youâre the fucking reason I needed one in the first place!â
âWell, how was I supposed to know you were going to throw a hissy fit over me hanging out with some friends?â he spits out.
âFriends? They were hanging onto you, Shaw! One of those girls had her tits so close to you, she almost suffocated you with them. And you know it,â a humourless laugh escapes your lips, âYou love the attention. And we both know I was never enough to provide that for you. So I quit.â
Shaw deflates. âWhat do you mean, you quit?âÂ
âI donât want to be vying for your affection with the rest of them, I guess. Itâs selfish of me, but somehow I thought Iâd be special, or something,â you scoff, kicking a nearby rock of the pavement, âBut I donât think I am. Not to you. So I think we should stop all of this before one of us gets even more hurt. I think we should break up.â
Shaw halts, burying both of his hands in his hair. His breathing quickens as he processes your words. âNo, no, absolutely not. We arenât breaking up.â he looks at you with the same pleading eyes he used that time when he got sick and begged you to cuddle him instead of getting his medicine. Back then, everything seemed so...lovely.
âI donât know what else to do, Shaw,â your voice breaks, and Shaw feels his heart shatter at the notion of you hurting this much. âI just donât know why you do this, Iââ
âBecause I donât deserve you.âÂ
âWhat?â You shake your head in confusion.
âI know itâs fucked up. Everyone around us knew that I wasnât deserving of you. Just look at me,â he gestures at himself, âIâm a fucking gangster dating someone who deserves better. So I tried pushing you away, and then you pulled back, and you fought for me. And I just donât know how to deal with that, âcause people donât do that for me.â
You sigh. âYou deserve to be fought for.â
âI donât. I really fucking donât. Because here I am, with the best thing thatâs ever happened to me, and Iâm about to lose them. And it should be what I want because I keep pushing and pushing and pushing, but now the only thing I want is you. I fucked up.â
You lean against a nearby wall, silence hanging above you two before you break it. âI...donât think this dynamic is healthy,â you start.
âI know, Iâm sorry. I fucked up, but I promise Iâllââ
âAnd if weâre going to try this again, youâre going to have to fix your attitude,â you interrupt him.
âIâyouâre serious?â a careful nod has Shawâs expression turning from dumbfounded to ecstatic. His grinâs back, but now it seems more...genuine. More innocent.Â
âFuck. I canât believe it,â he tilts his head up to the sky in glee, but soon looks back at you with resolution in his eyes, âIâm going to be the best boyfriend youâve ever seen.â
You laugh. âIs that a challenge, pretty boy?â
âYou bet your ass it is,â he teases, swiftly scooping you up into his arms, âI fucking love you, and Iâll do anything I can to prove it,â he mutters into the crook of your neck.
âShaw...I love you too, but people are really staring, actually.â You cast worried glances over his shoulder.
âDonât care.â
â...Of course you donât.â  Â
Shawâs scenario was a bit of an emotional rollercoaster, to be fair. I think I made him pretty OOC, but Iâm filling in a lot of the blanks in regards to his personality, and for some reason he has serious trauma and insecurities here, which is either kinda valid, or projecting. I donât know if Iâm satisfied with it...but itâs going I guess.
Hi guys, Iâm currently working on a couple of things, but I just wanted to make a quick post to say weâve gotten to 100 followers!Â
Thank you so much for the support, I never thought Iâd get to 100. I know it doesnât sound like much, but this is kind of a milestone for me.
Iâm sorry postingâs been a little slow, Iâm currently kind of trying to find a balance between med school and writing/drawing/playing music. Itâs not been super easy, and Iâve been dealing with some anxiety and stress for a while now, but I promise that thereâs new fics coming up. Please keep reading my little posts, I hope they brighten your day, and Iâm always open to any new suggestions or requests.
