daydreams keep me sane

my thoughts are a mess and my blog reflects that

[writingintothesilence]

Days are good, for now

[writingintothesilence]

You taught me how to force my feelings down deep inside and pretend like I never felt them in the first place. You taught me that you can’t always trust people with your love no matter how much you desperately want to. You taught me that some people will take your breath away but not know how to give it back to you. You taught me that trust is fickle and everyone has their own opinion on how you should be treated. You taught me that no one has my best interest at heart except for myself. You taught me how to hold on so tightly my hand goes numb and my heart follows. You taught me that I’m impossibly imperfect and no one will ever see beyond all the static. You taught me everything I ever needed to know without being aware I was watching. But I’ve always been watching, and learning, and remembering. I’ve always been down here, but you were too busy looking for angels.

[writingintothesilence]

I know I’m nothing special but it’s nice to pretend

I know I’m nothing in general but I still want to be friends

[writingintothesilence]

The first person you say i love you to most likely won’t be the last

The first time you give away your heart it will probably break like glass

The first promise you whisper might never come to pass

But keep doing every first you can because life moves so fast

[writingintothesilence]

They say these days should be the happiest of my life,

They tell me to enjoy you while I can,

How can I enjoy you in the shadows of the night,

While I sit alone as soon as the day begins?

They say that affection is a fickle temptress,

But the days I’m entitled to you are planned in full,

They call me a selfish bitter empress,

When you are absent the days are dull.

They say these days are for the celebration of love,

To hold and be held by your own,

But you seem so far away from my touch,

I fear we will never have time alone.

[dankcptsdmemes]

[darling-with-no-problems]

[writingintothesilence]

I have scars on my face,

that’s why they are scared of me,

I have anger in my heart,

that’s why they aren’t fair to me,

I have poison in my blood,

that’s why they don’t share with me,

I have fought a thousand battles,

kindness is so rare to me.

I have smoke in my lungs,

that’s why there’s no pair for me,

I have pain that always lingers,

that’s why the people stare at me,

I have buzzing in my ears,

that’s why they like to swear at me

I have burns on my feet

that’s why they set a snare for me.

I have always known my place,

that’s why they aren’t aware of me

I have been broken over time,

they want to do repairs on me,

I don’t trust a single man,

their words are just hot air to me,

I have to look after myself,

that’s why they can’t compare to me.

I found it best to stay low,

that’s why they made a stair of me,

I tried to keep myself afloat,

they never throw a spare to me,

I have the heart of a beast,

I’m alive just barely,

I have revenge on my mind,

so deal with me carefully.

[writingintothesilence]

The habits that you hide out of fear of disappointing those around you are the hardest to over come

[writingintothesilence]

The particles of all the things held back through the times lifted her body into the air finally forcing the acceptance that was so desperately needed

The sky was not too cold nor too windy for her scattered composition as she floated through along the currents of the wind

Wisps of fog-her wild hair usually tamed into perfect order reaching out in harsh defiance, dark patches matching the purple skin under her eyes from years of restless sleep, drifting away from all the things her legs found too heavy to carry

Over time came the realization that she would spend most the days of her journey alone forever watching those below run and hide at the sight of her

Few find they can love clouds when they are scared of storms

[writingintothesilence]

One of my favorite parts of writing is choosing character names because I have all the power. Am I gonna name them a word from a different language? Or maybe after one of my friends? My family? Maybe my drug dealers dog?? Who knows! Hell I might just make shit up if I say his name Gragar his name Gragar that’s it. If i say that means “galaxy dick” it means galaxy dick i can not express how much I love names

[writingintothesilence]

She seeks love but found no darlings waiting out in the world for her

She seeks patience but her people have no time for her

She seeks silence but the voices only scream at her

All she wants is kindness but she fears there is no peace for her

[writingintothesilence]

Damn she’s beautiful

[writingintothesilence]

Love could destroy the will of man but never kill a beast

[writingintothesilence]

I wish for a being with time to spare

To cuddle at night and play with my hair

I do not ask for a heart nor a cure to despair

I wish I had someone whom with my bed I could share

[writingintothesilence]

Someday I will look at you and know that your love will never be mine

Someday I will look at your face and know that you never conceded

But today I looked at you and wished I could turn back time

I looked at your face and knew the man that took care of me when I needed him

[writingintothesilence]

Into the chaos we went to our deaths like moths drawn to autumn fires