Adult ADHD Ramblings

((SEMI-HIATUS!)) I'm 32 and for the most part just learning how to manage properly now. Main blog is gayswingbabies.

[shamebats]

[psychotic-gerard]

the thing about disability is it really does sometimes boil down to "wow i wish i could do that" and then you can't. and it sucks.

[psychotic-gerard]

accomodations are important but i think they miss the point of this post. sometimes you can't do it. at all. someone needs to do it for you or it will never happen.

[psychotic-gerard]

"and then you force yourself anyway" folks im starting to think some of you really do not understand what it means to not be able to do things.

[wtfadhd]

And I think a lot of folks boil this down to physical disabilities, but mental illnesses can be debilitating as well

[chaotic-neutral-knitter]

I do love the phrase executive dysfunction bc the image it conjures is of a bunch of people wearing business suits around a long oval conference table  arguing with each other to the point where they’re getting into physical fights, but in the background there’s just a big empty whiteboard with a To Do list with one item on it and that item is “take shower”

[decaffynated]

[softwaring]

[chasm-side]

My therapist, who specializes in adults with ADHD, recently told me that all of her clients need a three day crash period after a big life change. Finish the semester? Crash. Change jobs? Crash. Go on a really cool, really relaxing vacation? Crash the moment you get home.

It's true of literally all of her clients. She works with a lot of them to put systems in place so that their crashes are only three days. This includes the high-powered execs who travel regularly for work. It does not matter how successful or high functioning they are - they have ADHD, and crashing is just part of the process of living with it.

I'm sharing this with all you ADHD friends out there, just in case you (like me) start shaming yourself if your crash lasts more than one day. It turns out three days is kind of the best case scenario. Be kind to yourselves!

[This post has been edited to change "crashout" to "crash". It was causing confusion and/or offense, especially to people who thought I was referring to "crashout" as the term exists in AAVE (also being appropriated into gen z speak right now). I'm sorry about that. Please reblog this version of the post in the future!]

[shamesonlydaughter]

it doesn’t have to be good it just has to be done

[fiyero3305]

The phrase "They don't want it perfect, they want it Friday" does wonders for my productivity.

[thatdiabolicalfeminist]

The intense pressure to “get better” from a chronic illness or other disability is so exhausting!!

Like even when you receive extensive medical care and follow all your doctors’ orders, even when you patiently explain and educate the people around you about the fact that certain health conditions do not improve and are in fact likely to worsen over time – some fucker will always mention an internet article she read about a random person who “woke up cured one day!!”

You can link people to all the peer-reviewed research you want about what your various diagnoses entail in real life, but there are always going to be people convinced that you’re only disabled - or as disabled - because you’re not trying hard enough.

Disabled people should be able to share information about our needs without getting fucking shamed for accepting that we are actually disabled.

I’m not “giving up” by accommodating my disabilities and being honest about their impact on my life any more than I’m “giving up” by wearing fucking glasses or sleeping in a bed instead of on the floor. 

Abled people, you need to get over your own discomfort with the existence of disabilities for which there is no “cure”, only symptom management and/or external accommodations. I understand that your immediate, visceral response is to want us to not be disabled, and that often that even comes from a kind place.

But you need to understand that a lot of the suffering that comes with being disabled isn’t even from the way our bodies exist – it’s from how you react to us. When you treat our symptoms or the way we accommodate our disabilities as failures or excuses, you make it harder for us to live our lives.

Stop trying to excise your discomfort and fear by trying to silence the disabled people around you about our experiences. Many disabled people will always be disabled. We need you to respect that that really is our experience and that it’s not your fucking job to pressure us into ignoring our own needs or to try various “cures”.

Support us by believing us about our experiences, support us by respecting our limitations even when they’re different to yours, support us by helping us accommodate our physical and/or mental differences in the ways we say we need. Pressure to “get better” is not support.

[wtfadhd]

[ahtokasano]

btw it's okay if you can only convince yourself to do things with silly reasons. when i wash my face i narrate a "skincare routine" youtube video in my head. once, a pretty girl once said she was attracted to me while i was moving crates around, and that was my motivation to do yard work today. exercising is a lot easier when i think about how i want to be able to pick up my niece and swing her around even when she's older.

so like if pretending you're doing real-life stardew valley gets you out in the sun, or if making yourself a good meal makes you feel like you're the host of a cooking show, do it! do whatever you need to do to take care of yourself!

[wtfadhd]

Any other more extroverted ADHD’ers out there who struggle with performance anxiety? And have any of y’all found good coping mechanisms for it?

Stage performance or performance in bed? Both are very plausible lol

[selfcare-journey]

My brain, having a meltdown like a toddler: I just can’t do it! I don’t want to !! I can’t!!

Me, parenting my tired toddler brain: Take a deep breath, it’s going to be ok. We don’t have to do everything today that’s overwhelming you. Let’s pick the most important thing to work on, ok? What’s the smallest step we can do to work towards that?

My toddler brain, wiping away tears: Um, I think we should…open up the important spreadsheet and look at the first row.

Me, parenting my tired toddler brain: Great! Let’s do that, and then we can have a popsicle, ok?

My toddler brain: *nods through drying tears, upset, but cooperative*

[amygdalae]

genuinely terrifying how adhd will have you be fully aware of the responsibilities you’re neglecting and yet its like you’re being piloted by a super chill hedonistic demon who can’t hear you/doesnt care

[wtfadhd]

Also common of people with ADHD: freeze trauma response. So your reaction to scary tasks might literally be to do nothing. Check in with your anxiety and see how you can coax yourself into getting shit done

[dear-systems]

do not use betterhelp. do not support betterhelp. do not believe betterhelp.

they:

-do not vet their therapists

-forcefully shut down negative commentary

-lie to therapists

-lie to consumers

-trap therapists in exploitative contracts

-sells users data

etc

[denizensofkingscross]

Since I know a lot of my followers are also LGBTQ+: Pride Counseling is operated by the same company as Better Help, so don’t use them either.

[sarahseeandersen]

[wtfadhd]

My body literally made this choice for me this week, and now I'm essentially bedridden. Don't be like me kids 😅

[wtfadhd]

You know what's an RSD trigger nobody talks about? "You've told me this already."

[shadowycollageatfunny-deactivat]

Attention needed 👐👐 Help a dtudent for Dialysis and hospital expenses. Please take time to read!!

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[extremelysexyclowns]

✨✨EXECUTIVE DYSFUNCTION✨✨

(or at least, how I experience it)

when your brain is a car that won’t start, it’s pretty annoying.