[ I Am My Own Enemy ]

THIS IS A TEMPORARY THEME. THERE ARE LOTS OF THINGS NOT WORKING OR INCOMPLETE AS THIS IS NOT MY THEME. IT'S JUST A PLACEHOLDER "Life Is A Dream; I Didn't Die, I Woke Up." Xinda | Adult | Female | Personal under “xinda babbles” tag | Multi-Fandom Blog |

[negativechill]

Donate to Support for Regulus' Urgent Medical Care, organized by Trent Vantas

My name is Trent, and my cat Regulus is in pretty dire need of continued medical… Trent Vantas needs your support for Support for Regulus' U

I know I don't have a huge following or anything, but any shares or donations will help immensely. My cat is very, very sick, and we want what's best for him, but his care has already cost us 5k+ and we're not done yet. He's the sweetest boy there ever was and deserves the world.

[allofthefeelings]

ME, A NORMAL CONTRIBUTOR TO FANDOM: So let’s talk about the pedagogical implications Thanos’s snap would have on the Sesame Street curriculum within the greater MCU.

[enjoymorestuff]

I don’t know how pedagogical it is, but I guess now I’m thinking about Bert sitting alone in a room, missing Ernie.

[allofthefeelings]

That is absolutely the emotional core of what a post-Snap episode of Sesame Street would be about (I feel like Bernice would be missing too, and Bert would try to play chess with Rubber Duckie?), but for the episode to function there needs to be something they’re teaching the audience besides ennui, and that is where I’m really stuck.

Because the emotional core wouldn’t stick if it’s not supported by the structure of the show! But it seems like the Snap destroys basically all structures in place. But that makes the structure of Sesame Street that much more necessary. And then I spiral like this for a while.

[intosnarkness]

Disclaimer: I have not watched a full episode of Sesame Street in a long time

Big Bird has been waiting for the store to open for a very long time now. He’s a patient bird, and he knows about waiting his turn, but his watch has the big hand on the three and the little hand on the nine and he’s pretty sure that Alan usually open the store when the little hand is on the seven.

Finally, when the little hand goes all the way to the four, the door opens.

“Hi, Big Bird,” Chris says, his eyes red and puffy. “We aren’t going to open the store today.”

Big Bird doesn’t understand; Hooper’s store opens every day. “Why aren’t you opening the store, Chris?” Big Bird asks. “I need beakpaste, I’m all out.”

Chris just looks sad. “Big Bird, did you hear about The Snap?”

“No,” Big Bird says, and the way Chris is talking is very scary. He feels like he might need to sit down. “I don’t even know how to snap!”

Chris steps out form behind the door and gestures for them to sit on the stoop. When they’re settled, Chris takes a deep breath before he speaks. “Well, a bad man named Thanos came to Earth. Do you know about Thanos?”

“Yes,” Big Bird nods He heard some of the grownups saying that name. “He fought with the Avengers.”

“That’s right,” Chris says. “And the Avengers lost their fight. Sometimes, even when grownups try really hard, they can’t do all the things they want to do, and sometimes that means that bad things happen.”

“Did a bad thing happen?”

“Yes,” Chris says, taking Big Bird’s wing in his hand. “Because of Thanos, a lot of people are missing. And Alan is one of them.”

Big Bird has to think about that for a moment. He went missing one time, when he was a blue bird in a circus, but his friends found him and brought him home. But something about Alan’s face tells Big Bird that this isn’t the kind of missing where your friends can find you.

“Is Alan dead, Chris?” Big Bird asks. “I remember when Mr. Hooper died.”

“The honest answer is that we don’t know. He might be. Or he might just be missing.”

Big Bird tries to understand that. “Missing?”

“Yeah,” Chris says. “He might come back some day, and he might not. We just don’t know.”

Big Bird wants to cry. He loves Alan, and he doesn’t want any of his friends to be missing. “Is anyone else missing?”

“Yes,” Chris says. “Some of your friends may be, or their parents, or yours cousins and uncles and aunts. A lot of people are. And it’s very scary.”

“What can we do?”

Chris is crying a little, a few small tears pooling at the side of his eyes, and Big Bird wants to do something, wants to say something, but he kinda feels like crying too, and doesn’t know what will help. “I don’t know,” Chris says. “I think the only thing we can do is be here for each other, and love each other, and take care of each other. When things are scary, and when bad things happen, the most important thing to do is look around at the people who are still here, and try to do your best for them.”

Big Bird nods. “Hey Chris?”

“Yeah, Big Bird?”

“Do you want a hug?”

Chris nods. “I would very much like a hug, thank you.”

Big Bird does the only thing he knows how to do; he opens his wings and wraps them around Chris, doing his best to be there for the people who are still with him.

[animanightmate]

I didn’t come here to be punched in my emotions like this and yet here we are.

[ekjohnston]

I’ve made a lot of internet friends and @allofthefeelings is definitely one of the best.

[tara-the-star]

i love the phrase 'i dont go here but...' like you're so in awe of my work you have decided to trespass into a fandom you dont belong to just to appreciate it. i love everyone who doesn't go here

[xinda]

[ Personal: Loss of Life ]

Just opened Tumblr after a while and saw "messages" and all and it told me I opened this account 13 years ago on November 27th. Thing is, I left my last Tumblr blog after a good friend of one of my sisters went missing and after I BEGGED people to share the missing poster (they didn't), the friend was found passed away. I wanted to start new, so I created this one. At some point, Tumblr kept changing and I was having trouble adapting without my extensions and all, and then the censorship stuff happened as well. I had moved primarily to Twitter. For almost a year this account had also been wrongfully suspended after some mishap that was likely VPN related. I intended to come back to this, but things happen. On November 27th was Thanksgiving. The following day I found out one of my sisters had passed away. We got confirmation it was on Thanksgiving 24 hours or so ago. I also lost one of my brothers in 2023 of June. So to see the notification of "CELEBRATE" regarding how long I had my blog here and the date stings. I need to go through and save everything I've put here. I do not know yet if I'll create another one and rename this one and whatnot. I don't know what I'll do. I enjoyed most of Tumblr for a while until anti-type behaviour clogged funspaces, spoilers were not hidden, and just a lot of mess happened beyond the changes of how it worked. I don't know what I'll do. The eldest of 5. Two now gone. Right now, I just came on here to briefly check something and realized I hadn't shared this. So. I guess we'll see what 2026 brings for me and Tumblr. I'm further torn on re-creating, just because I don't want the reminder of "HAPPY TUMBLRVERSARY" sort of thing on the same day that one of my sisters passed. So I'll have to think hard about it. I want to know how old this Tumblr is, etc, but... It's a lot to think about. For me, at least.

[xinda]

[ How Does One Tumblr... Hmmm ]

Tumblr really does look really weird... not being on it in years is... weird. Anyone have best rec's to extensions and things to modify it? I used to use XKit. I just added XKit Rewritten. I'm sure most things are there now. I had to fix that weird... not order of things... algorithm thing. That was annoying. But what I'd like to know is ... I used to be able to right click on the right part of a post to "open in new tab" sort of thing. That's... not working anymore, haha. I like to tab things that require thought/replies/etc so I can come back to them while scrolling through the rest on a website... but... I'm not sure how to get this to do that now D: Watch me figure it out after I post this >.>;

[rosethornewrites]

I live in Chicagoland and have family friends who are brown and undocumented. It’s not good here.

[rosethornewrites]

I want to specify that the US government ICE agents rapelled from Blackhawk helicopters to take over an apartment building, breaking open apartment doors in the middle of the night to drag barely-clad residents from their homes and detain everyone in UHaul trucks with the children zip-tied to each other. Regardless of citizenship.

There was too much traffic today, and an ICE agent deployed a tear gas canister in traffic in response.

This is not normal.

[theplaguebeast]

From the very bottom of my heart: what the ACTUAL FUCK

[rosethornewrites]

It’s not even near me yet, but where I live there’s lots of brown folks so they’ll come.

This is surreal. We’re being attacked by the United States.

[bisexualbaker]

"ICE Agents Rappel From Black Hawk Helicopters Into Chicago for Major Raid" - MSN, published October 1st, 2025

[rosethornewrites]

Most mainstream media is barely covering it.

[bisexualbaker]

I genuinely wish I were surprised by that.

[tochira]

Massive immigration raid on Chicago apartment building leaves residents reeling: 'I feel defeated'

The Department of Homeland Security said federal agents with Border Patrol, the FBI and the Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco, Firearms and Explosi

Spread this far and wide - there's no paywall.

[these-violet-delights-fic]

This is a little old by now, but it's important not to forget.

[rosethornewrites]

They just broke the ribs of an elderly citizen dragging him from his car. So it’s still a thing.

[xinda]

[ For When I Can Actually Figure This Out! ]

If you've been following or we're moots, can you like this post so I know you still use Tumblr so I can already immediately know not to remove you? (I need to see if any extensions are still up to date on things and all ;; )

[sageofthetwilight]

Happy indigenous peoples day!

[xinda]

[ For When I Can Actually Figure This Out! ]

If you've been following or we're moots, can you like this post so I know you still use Tumblr so I can already immediately know not to remove you? (I need to see if any extensions are still up to date on things and all ;; )

[xinda]

I'M BACK! (kind of!)

So! Over a year ago my account randomly got the boot. No warning, no heads up, no nothing. I had boosted Cal's book, and even asked about how to better understand current Tumblr or if there were any extensions to get it to be more like... IDK 10 years ago? LoL Well, I tried to contact support. Failed. Twice. Then a week ago, I saw another potential solution. It wasn't much different than what I was doing with support, but I gave it a try. And I actually got my first auto-received email! Which I didn't the previous two times! Mind you, this account is like 10+ years old. With some stuff on here that's not anywhere else... Now, I can't do it now, but I will need to go through who I'm following and clean that up, and learn how current Tumblr works while trying to find customization that'll make it more comfortable for me. Anywho. YAY.

[silvercistern-deactivated202307]

i’m going to say something that might make me seem ungrateful, but i think it’s true of many fic writers:

we want you to leave comments ON ao3.

we’re not angry or disappointed or anything like that when you leave qrts or lots of tags on our fic posts, not at all. we don’t NOT want you to message us to tell us how a fic touched you. but in addition to that, please consider just copying those words and posting them on ao3 as a comment.

why?

the reason is simple: leaving commentary in other places is ephemeral. story posts get pushed down. chats get pushed down in the list of chats, or worse, pushed up in lists of messages as the conversation continues. but comments on ao3 are easily accessible. and this is important because writers read and reread these comments regularly.

writing, especially writing longfics, is exhausting and drains your confidence over time. having a collection of people who enjoyed your past work at your fingertips is an excellent way to build yourself up when you’re feeling down. fic writers need this a lot.

i know over the past few years there’s this trend to be very descriptive with what is an “acceptable” comment. that’s all nonsense, as long as you’re not being an asshole, just say what’s on your heart.

but post it on ao3. please.

[eemamminy-art]

Also something I see a lot: people gushing to their friends in discord about a fic but not commenting on it to the author themselves. It's reassuring to find out secondhand that people gushed about your creation, but it's so much better when someone tells you directly! Reaching out directly on AO3 also helps to curb any lingering doubt of like... Is this something they'd only admit to in private but don't want their name connected to mine on AO3? Since there's a lot of weirdness around who someone associates with in fandom these days

[dsudis]

I will say also that some of my FAVORITE comments I have EVER gotten were copy-and-paste Discord conversations, like that is PURE! JOY!!! If you ever find yourself gushing about a fic in a server and everyone else in the conversation is cool with it, PLEASE copy and past that into an AO3 comment, you will make an author's YEAR.

[bomberqueen17]

oh i've never had anyone copy-paste a discord chat but that sounds really lovely!! what a great thing to read!

[theartofblossoming]

I will always stand by this - as a writer and as a reader!

[murphysmom67]

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

Cats are great because they just accept that being Bothered by you is like. Part of the social contract.

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

Unfortunately this contract is reciprocal and they will call due when you are trying to play computer games specifically

[dissociatingdumbass]

[allegra-writes]

Reblogging again because I got an anon last week whining cause they did this to one of my unfinished series and the bot killed Y/N so now they want ME to give them a happy ending. Like. No. Suffer, bitch.

[peaceheather]

AI is the death of creativity. Anyone who does this to my stories and is stupid enough to brag about it will be blocked from ever reading my work again, AND I'll let everyone on tumblr know that you do this. We'll see how much fic you get to enjoy when every author blocks you forever.

Fic is a gift. I've said it before. Don't shit all over your lovingly handcrafted gifts, m'kay? This should be fucking obvious, but apparently for some of you it's not.

[ballroomnotoriety]

im sobbing

[mcalhenwrites]

Please boost if you can't help financially, thank you!

So here's the deal: My mom is getting a new car (used but new for her) and has a car that I could buy off of her. It's not the best and I can't afford it yet (alongside tags/taxes/insurance), but it's the only option I have. Buying a car anywhere else is either going to be extremely expensive, or I'm getting something from a stranger without knowing the car's issues. Three different people are giving me rides to doctor's appointments, errands, and work. I work two towns away. I have a book for sale. It's called Geckos, Automata. If you like urban fantasy with queers, automatons, necromancy, and the discussion of generational abuse and trauma, check it out!

Even if you've bought the book and want to help out, there are other ways as well! I have two tiers available on my Patreon: $1 and $3 If you like my writing already and want to support me, even $1/month is incredibly helpful! I've also got a Ko-Fi, with a car goal set already. You can send whatever amounts you like. I also will take art commissions, but they're just sketches and would be $15 per character, +$10 for an additional character. (Limit of 3 characters total.) You can ask me more about it if you're comfortable. Thank you so much whether you help out financially or boost this. It will help me out immensely, and it'll ease the strain on the three people who are giving me rides everywhere. I'm doing my best and working on writing, but I am disabled and struggling a lot financially despite all the different jobs I juggle. (And if I can't get rides, I can't even go to work, I can't get money. No, I don't have public transportation in the country.) I'm pretty desperate but I'm willing to work for my wages, and I'll work on publishing more stories. If you do want to check out my writing, I do have free original stories as well as fanfic up on my AO3.

[xinda]

This is a couple of days late as some important things were going on, but -- Let me post this here as well: (Pretend this was on June 5th!)

--

💜🎉💜🎉💜

I know for a fact people are always looking for a way to support indie writers - authors who put everything into their works and the best way to support them is to read and spread their works!

A good friend has a birthday today and you can do an AMAZING thing today (err, June 5th!)

(LOOK AT THIS AWESOME COVER LIKE. IT IN AND OF ITSELF SAYS "READ ME I HAVE THINGS TO TELL")

If you have the money, you can buy their published book! E-copy OR physical! https://amazon.com/dp/B0D2NGHHPF If you can't afford it right now, wishlist it and buy it when you can! Share it! Spread it! Both as a birthday gift AND to support self-published writers!

If you, like me, are super tight on money, that's fine! After resharing the above, you can also check out their AO3 & read there! If you're shy about comments, leave an emoji to show your appreciation on each chapter you enjoy! Currently being published: https://archiveofourown.org/works/55373899/chapters/140491561

And with a simple click, you can ALSO read other original works FOR FREE! Of course a great way to help support self-publishers who post for free, is to throw a tip their way if you can afford it: https://ko-fi.com/mcalhen

So you can buy a book, read some for free, give money and all to a self-published indie writer who works so freakin' hard for their craft. As a delayed birthday gift, and even better... because there are good stories to be read!

(I've been reading "Seasons" and have read previous shared works, AND will be hopefully getting Geckos, Automata for my birthday - or sooner! Time will tell!)

Please, whether you buy or not, kudos/emoji the story away, but also share this so it can reach others who has any curiosity for original fiction with world building!

(I'm not sure proper etiquette on tagging for this on Tumblr, so I think I'll tag per genre of the two stories?)