CJ

sad and slightly feral trash panda, 24, they/she pronouns. asian american. terfs, racists and minors DNI

[wordfather]

idk if this is an usamerican thing or not but it always blows my mind as a small european country resident that yall have many names and types of apples???? what do you mean its not just red yellow or green??? why is it so complicated??? who is granny smith????

[wordfather]

'whats your favorite apple' 'red' 'no i mean like what type' '??????' actual conversatiom i've had with a mutual from usa

[wordfather]

THIRTY TWO??????

[phillyphillyphilly]

Listen that doesn’t even account for all the weird shit local farmers are getting up to.

May I present the best apple:

[wordfather]

the world is so big and beautiful

[penandinkprincess]

unreasonably amused by the idea of itty bitty shane not wanting to get off the ice after practice to the point that david gets ON the ice to get him, so itty bitty does the "my bones are gone now" resistance move kids are so good at.

but fails to consider that ice is. so slippery.

like stage your protest all you want, buddy, but you have literally never been more move-able.

[butimaficwriter]

Read the post and loved it exactly for the potential of what's in the tags: uh oh now David made it funnnn and Shane, quick little bean that he is, riiiight as he's getting to the edge of the rink, about to be picked up and passed to mom, gets up and skates away to the middle of the rink and PLOMP lays down on his back, giggling and kicking his little skates. "Again, Dad (Shane does not call David daddy in front of his friends, he's not a baby!), again!!"

It doesn't help David and Yuna that everyone and their mother thinks this is the funniest, cutest thing ever and laughs, just spurring Shane to do it more and more.

[penandinkprincess]

OH MY GOD

coupled with the idea of shane's conversation with rose when he talks about how hockey got less fun because it got more intense and so so did he: the idea of ilya dramatically flopping on his back on the ice one day at camp when they're done running drills with the kids

and he is teasingly refusing to get up because he is dead now, hollander, can you not see this, and shane hesitates for just a second, grabs his hand, plants one of his skates, and just sends him sliding off towards the side of the rink, thinking about how his dad used to do it to him after every single practice

and ilya laughs and shane laughs and for this moment at least, being on the ice is nothing but Fun again

[great-and-small]

Yeah okay there are like 11 species of heron native to the USA and yes fine I’ve only managed to spot 10 of those species. You might think I’m bitter about that one species evading me but I’m not. I’m actually the Least Bittern person about it in the entire world

[xinqi-newstart]

op it will feel so good when you see the last one. #things to stay alive for <3

[silverlionlilies]

I read so many hr fics in which a point is made to make it clear that Shane and Ilya couldn’t keep any photos of each other out of fear of their relationship being exposed. I’d like to read at least one in which they purposefully *do* take pics of each other. Like, they still go through the same timeline and the same steps of eventually getting together, but they have a slightly elevated sense of emotional attachment from the beginning that they aren’t afraid to express to one another, and that’s via taking pics.

This comes out of the heartbreaking vision I had: in the relative immediate aftermath of their relationship being exposed, and the internet is doing cia level detective work to dig up proof, Ilya posts a singular photo: Shane, laughing at something Ilya said, his hand outstretched to playfully bat away Ilya’s flip phone (or blackberry or whatever phones they had in 2010). And it’s clear that the photo was taken on an older phone bc of the quality. And Ilya captions the post something like “we were just kids.”

[turing-tested]

does anyone want to play kudzu vines with me

[endcant]

sure! i’ll be a native tree standing in a biodiverse field

[turing-tested]

*places my rhizomes on you*

[rockabillywife]

The water fountain when you’re thirsty af is definitely a top 5 place to publicly debase yourself

[darikbelochka]

Can you play doom on a knife?

[stjohnstarling]

In light of recent events, I have begun submitting bug reports when I see mature content labels applied inappropriately to posts, especially if an appeal has been rejected.

[a-kind-of-merry-war]

Extremely good idea - how are you doing it? Through the contact us option?

[stjohnstarling]

Yeah it’s one of the options on the Contact Support form:

[sharas-bae]

for what it's worth: after a few months of submitting help tickets as 'feedback' when i saw a post inappropriately flagged as mature, i tried following this suggestion instead. today i got my first-ever response from tumblr support on this issue, letting me know that a post i'd submitted a ticket before has had its mature content flag removed.

[stjohnstarling]

Hey it worked! Maybe if enough of us make a stink they’ll fix the fucking system.

[edupunkbitch]

This is legitimately brilliant. Bug burndown reports (the rate at which your software team can close bugs) is a major metric for most software houses.

It takes an extra step in our part, but this is part of what makes it effective. It's not one click, one reblog activism and it hits them where they care: their damn KPIs.

[lesserjoke]

Today in obscure Doctor Who jokes:

Somebody on Twitter pointed out that the Big Finish companion Hex is canonically from the year 2021, so when he occasionally abbreviates the word "suspicious" to "sus," it's probably an Among Us reference.

The punchline is that this character was actually introduced back in 2004. It was made-up future slang that they happened to get right.

[marlinspirkhall]

“British writer invents time travel and uses it on One Joke”

[whydidisavethistomyphone]

[ilyannarozanova]

The first time Ilya and Shane wrestle I think Ilya is SO confident because he has simply forgotten that he can only throw Shane around and pick him up because Shane lets him. He goes into it all cocky and smug and Shane immediately bodies him so hard he blacks out. Reality check of all time. 100% fatality rate no survivors. When Ilya comes to Shane is desperately googling what to do if you wrestle your boyfriend so hard he faints. Ilya is so pleased it's criminal. A core memory for everyone involved

[microsff]

Every morning, the queen asked her magic mirror to show her the most beautiful person in the world.

The mirror replied "To whom?"

"The miller who made the flour for my bread," the queen would say, or "Whoever spun the thread my shawl was made of".

The mirror would show her, and she'd be amazed.

[nullen-void]

The first time, she says "To me," and the mirror dutifully shows her her reflection. And she is pleased.

The second time, she says "To the King," and she is pleased to see herself once more.

The third time, she says "To the Royal Advisor," and is once more satisfied to see herself.

The fourth time, she says "To the scribe who takes the King's letters." She is shown the man's wife. And she seethes, but quiets herself, for it is only right that a man loves his wife.

The fifth time, she says "To the Court Wizard," and is shown the man's departed mother as he remembers her from his youth, radiant and smiling and warm and larger than life.

The tenth time, she says "To the Stable Master," and is shown the fastest horse in the stable, majestic and free as the wind even in captivity

"To the baker," she is shown the man's daughter, young and adorable and full of joy and laughter.

"To the artist who did my portrait," she is shown a painting of a woman done by the man's teacher, who he still looks up to now that he is well established himself.

"To the Royal Knight," she is surprised but not displeased to see the castle's entire guard force in the middle of doing drills.

The one hundredth time she asks the mirror, and it asks her "to whom?" she once again says, "To me." And she does the same the one hundred and second, and again and again and again.

It is a different person each time, and they are all beautiful.

[katrandomwrites]

Grace finds a phone tucked in a random maintenance hatch a couple years into the Erid trip and starts laughing so hard he's crying because the pictures and videos folder is full of Vat shenanigans.

--

Shapiro drowning in Dubois’ EVA suit. Dubois with Shapiro's suit taped to him and her helmet balanced on top of his head

Grace looking at the camera confused while the core time circle around him like the one girl surrounded by five guys meme

Stratt reclined on a couch looking demure with a coffee mug and using Grace's legs as a lap board for her tablet. Grace is dead asleep, obviously snoring with his mouth wide open and covered in reports. His glasses are on Stratt's head.

Carl walking by the camera with Grace thrown over his shoulder. Grace is visibly pleased and yapping.

Illyukhina walking by the camera with Grace thrown over her shoulder. Grace looks vaguely ill.

Yao passionately doing karaoke with each of the core staff members.

Lamai asleep on a prototype coma bed.

Steve Hatch maternity shoot with the Beatles.

Grace and Dimtri using a centrifuge to make butter.

Grace and Dimitri getting yelled at by Lokken for using a centrifuge to make butter.

Dubois carrying Grace and Shapiro under each arm to the cafeteria. They all are talking like this is a normal occurrence.

Yao hanging upside down from a simulator that glitched with a straight face while Illyukhina is crying laughing on the floor below him.

Compilation video of the world's greatest minds dropping tools, tripping, and running into the glass walls.

Videos of the astronauts defeatedly drifting away from the mock ship in the buoyancy tank after losing their grip. The others are dramatically reaching out for them.

Redell teaching the Russians about New Zealand bombing dives in the training pools.

Shapiro, in formal wear, standing next to a slideshow titled “How I Cloned and Replaced the World Leaders”

Dubois - “My Alien Seduction Tactics"

Grace - “Middle Schooler vs Scientist”

Dimitri - “Using the Incorrect Equipment for Correct Results"

Hatch - “Yoko Ono: First Contact?”

Lamai - “How Not to Use a Coma Robot”

Lokken - “Grace is an Idiot”

Leclerc - “The Ice Age and You”

Stratt - “Things I DO NOT Have Time For”

Carl - “Securing a Home Depot for Idiots”

Yao - “Worst Times to Make a Joke”

Illyukhina - "Benefits of Vodka in Space”

Reddell - “What I Did in 1989”

Illyukhina passed out on top of Dmitri (also passed out) surrounded by a minefield of bottles none of which are for alcohol.

Leclerc looking upset and holding a penguin plushy.

Horrible mishmash of memes from all over the world plus some homemade memes of various quality.

[katrandomwrites]

Here's some more for yall.

Part 1 - Part 2 - Part 3

The engineering crew using Legos to help visualize various designs for the ship.

Compilation of lab technicians stuffing themselves under desks and piled in corners for 10 minute power naps.

Chinese soldiers standing menacingly in the background. Occasionally, some throw peace signs.

Rubber ducks at every computer station.

Lokken holding a model of the ship and spinning in her chair loudly reciting an equation that is giving her trouble.

Leclerc walking away from the camera, his back is covered in colorful paper fish. (He puts them on the wall of his dorm.)

Grace ugly crying because the bio lab made him a paper mache solar system for his birthday.

Absolutely insane gingerbread ‘house’ competition entries.

A shakey video taken around the edge of a doorway of Dimitri belting some Russian opera while running a late night test ‘alone’ in the lab.

Yao kicking ass at the mahjong table.

Bill Nye watch parties. Everybody looks like zombies except Grace who looks like he just shotgunned a Redbull. Hearing scientists in the labs chant Bill, Bill, Bill under their breath is not unusual.

A notes app document full of the most popular multilingual vocal stims going around.

Carl pulling a blanket over Stratt and Grace after they fell asleep against each other on a plane.

The core team half asleep after a late check in meeting with The Governments™ Stratt has her head on the table, Grace tries to eat a donut but misses his mouth, Lokken and Lamai are looking into their coffee mugs like they hold all the answers, Dimitri is fully asleep and snoring, Redell is not far behind, Hatch is petting his Beatle prototype like a cat. Even Carl looks like he's asleep standing up.

Rave night with homemade glowsticks.

Stratt and Grace sitting on swings after a meeting in Switzerland edited to look like an album cover.

--

Glad you guys are enjoying this as much as I am because I have more in my google doc.

[stella-draws-things]

[prokopetz]

They say that sudden, intense cravings for very specific foods are usually a sign of a vitamin deficiency. If so, that I'm presently making myself french toast, scrambled eggs, and a bacon and cheese sandwich at 11:45 PM must mean the vitamin I'm missing is grease.

[prokopetz]

I cross-posted this to Bluesky and got followed by a bunch of folks with blog headers clarifying which exact flavour of Christianity they adhere to because they thought I was making a hashtag-relatable post about cheating on your diet. Now we get find out how many of them are also comfortable with posts about werewolf cock.

[anistarrose]

if you are a parent, or may become one, or you are otherwise likely to arrive in the situation of caring for a child while they eat, promise me this: if a child doesn't like a certain food or food group, you will ask them WHY. and specifically, you will pay attention to either confirming or ruling out "it makes my mouth itch" or "it makes my stomach hurt," both of which are medically important info that children may not provide unprompted. which i know because this PSA has been brought to you by "i spent my entire childhood and much of my early teens eating peas and lentils while wondering why everyone else liked the Violently Itchy Mouth Sensation so much, like were they a bunch of legume masochists or something, before i finally realized that Violently Itchy Mouth Sensation was in fact a sinister demon appearing only to me, and her true demonic name was: Legume Allergy"

[sua-sponte-deactivated20200331]

I’m watching that documentary “Before Stonewall” about gay history pre-1969, and uncovered something which I think is interesting.

The documentary includes a brief clip of a 1954 televised newscast about the rise of homosexuality. The host of the program interviewed psychologists, a police officer, and one “known homosexual”. The “known homosexual” is 22 years old. He identifies himself as Curtis White, which is a pseudonym; his name is actually Dale Olson.

So I tracked down the newscast. According to what I can find, Dale Olson may have been the first gay man to appear openly on television and defend his sexual orientation. He explains that there’s nothing wrong with him mentally and he’s never been arrested. When asked whether he’d take a cure if it existed, he says no. When asked whether his family knows he’s gay, he says that they didn’t up until tonight, but he guesses they’re going to find out, and he’ll probably be fired from his job as well. So of course the host is like …why are you doing this interview then? and Dale Olson, cool as cucumber pie, says “I think that this way I can be a little useful to someone besides myself.”

1954. 22 years old. Balls of pure titanium.

Despite the pseudonym, Dale’s boss did indeed recognize him from the TV program, and he was promptly fired the next day. He wrote into ONE magazine six months later to reassure readers that he had gotten a new job at a higher salary.

Curious about what became of him, I looked into his life a little further. It turns out that he ultimately became a very successful publicity agent. He promoted the Rocky movies and Superman. Not only that, but get this: Dale represented Rock Hudson, and he was the person who convinced him to disclose that he had AIDS! He wrote the statement Rock read. And as we know, Rock Hudson’s disclosure had a very significant effect on the national conversation about AIDS in the U.S.

It appears that no one has made the connection between Dale Olson the publicity agent instrumental in the AIDS debate and Dale Olson the 22-year-old first openly gay man on TV. So I thought I’d make it. For Pride month, an unsung gay hero.

[is-the-post-reliable]

RATING: RELIABLE

you can listen to the clip of the 1954 interview here and find him on wikipedia here

[hihuddy]

Artist: Tim Brierley

Posting this for my soul cat Kenzie (she passed a few years ago but I still think of her every single day) and for everyone else who has lost someone they love. ❤️