Kaledo Art
tannertan36
blake kathryn
Discoholic šŖ©
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if i look back, i am lost
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occasionally subtle
taylor price
KIROKAZE
Misplaced Lens Cap
Xuebing Du
Three Goblin Art
Not today Justin
ē„ę„ / Permanent Vacation
@theartofmadeline
dirt enthusiast
ojovivo
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@xo-alwaysanum
Boy oh boy
So I think I really like this boy to be honest.
Iām still getting to know him to be fair but you know when you just have a gut feeling that they are everything you want and need. Yeah well I get that feeling when I speak to him. InshAllah going to meet him very soon and actually see what heās reallly realllly like in person. Hopefully heās still the same and we still have that same vibe that I love. InshAllah.
Lots of love
Anum xoxo
Wow, Alhumdullillah
06/06/2019
The night I found out I passed my exams. Alhumdullillah. So so thankful to Allah (swt) for the countless blessings I have. It has been such a whirl wind year of ups and downs. I donāt know what to do. Iām legit in a state of shock. I had convinced myself I had failed and that I was going to be changing courses. Honestly, I didnāt believe in myself of my abilities. I can finally relax Alhumdullillah. The stress and pressure has eaten me up inside. But one thing I can say during this time I strengthened my faith and relationship with God Alhumdullillah especially because it was Ramadan. It was even more prevalent for me to pray and make dua. My prayers had been answered and I cannot be happier! It will all settle in tomorrow when Iāve actually slept on it. My mind is completely overthrown. But all I can do now is give thanks to the Almighty and go always keeping the faith.
I have so many life lessons to tell my kids and my family.
Never give up
Donāt let things fester inside, talk to someone.
Ask for help from god, family, people you can trust
Stress, worrying and anxiety gets you nowhere in life.
Remember youāre blessings
Stay focused on the end goal
Nothing worth having comes easy
Hard work is key for success
Remind yourself of your achievements
DO NOT COMPARE YOURSELF TO OTHERS!
Surround yourself with positive people
Be selfish and focus on your needs and wants
But
Always give back and be as kind as u can be to people who need it.
Do you because no one else is here to tell you to study, work hard and get that degree sis
DONT OVERTHINK GOD has a plan, trust the process and stay up. keep learning
Lots of love
2019 (new year, new me! -CLICHE RIGHT?)
So, where to start. Basically itās a new year. Mentally and physically taking on board lots and lots of trials and tribulations of 2018.
To be frank, 2018 was a real rollercoaster. First the the friendship thing, university exams, boy drama and just the usual chaotic life of an asian Pakistani girl- fam politics ugh.
But I did do a lot of productive things during my few months off of university. Including getting to work in another practice to get more experience and also working in a retail store. This allowed me to save and be busy. I definitely learned a lot about myself. I met weird and wonderful people who taught me a lot which I am thankful for. Learned a lot of good life lessons and advice to take forward. Inshallah ā¤ļøā¤ļøā¤ļøšššš¤²š½š¤²š½š¤²š½
But we here. We made it alhumdullillah.
I really want to push myself this year and have a lot of growth inshallah.
In these areas in particular mentioned below:
Be a better Muslim. Be a good human being. Pray, give thanks to the almighty daily.
Be kind caring, and only speak when it makes sense to. Donāt get involved in drama!?? Hard when certain things do need to be said but overall just donāt get invoked in other peopleās business. Focus on me innit.
Following from above but focus on myself. Try to put myself first and do things to better myself.
Be a healthy person. Eat more fruit veg and less processed food.
Study hard and focus on getting more understanding of optometry. Passing all my exams inshallah and getting by each stage with ease.
Lots of love
xo_anummmmm
ā¤ļøā¤ļøā¤ļøšš¤²š½š¤²š½
All you need in life is a small circle of close knit fam and friends I swear. ā¤ļøš
Bond is unbreakable Alh šš½šš½šš½
šš½šš½šš½
So it is currently 1:49 am
I am writing this post while lying in bed with my one and a half year old nephew. Heās literally the cutest little boy ever!
Just makes me think and like analyse how kids are just so innocent and pure when they are born. It all depends on how they are raised for the way society is shaped, how laws are put in place and maintained. It all matters on the children, based on their experiences both with parents, family, friends, through school, extra curricular, through holidays, religion, culture and much much more.
These factors differ obviously depending on the childās family background, and wealth and income etc. In this day and age, class still does play a factor. But at the end of the day. Hard work is still hard work regardless of what background.
Anyways Iām going off on a tangent as usual. But just wanted to savour this moment with my babes. Just listening to some music š§ BeyoncĆ© XO, legit my jam rn, just love when the best drops, reminds me of such happy times tbh, but canāt pin what hahah.
Also recently Iāve loved the idea of LOVE. Sounds so daft, but like genuinely want to have someone in my life that loves me the way I share my love. But obvs I do have my wonderful nieces, nephews, sisters, parents etc. But Iām talking about Love love. Where, you meet someone and they become your everything. Like I do want to live my life and be free but at the same time I do want to do these things with my guy yaaaa getttttttt mehhhhhhhh
Okkkkkay
Anyways looooool
Bye
xo_anummmmm
All the time tbh,
Like I am completely content right now, especially now that I know my fate properly with uni etc, like this gap year is great and is exactly what I needed. But to be frank, I would love to just jet off and be somewhere, anywhere but here.
I would love to be on the sandy shores in the Caribbean or like walking in the streets of Morocco or waking up in Hawaii or the Maldives. These are just some of the few places I am motivated to go to InshAllah one day. As usual the sentence comes... when u get married, you can go, with ur husband...!!! Not that I donāt want to get married but like why canāt I go with my sisters or like friends. Life is just fab sometimes. Ughhhhhh. To be honest, I really do want to get married but Iām just worried to leave it in the hands of my parents. Like I can think of many reasons they will choose someone that isnāt suitable for me. Like I need someone who truly gets me. Who understands life. Who wonāt get so serious and take life as it comes and is spontaneous etcšš½ so many traits that I donāt think my mum n dad would emphasis on.
InshAllah I do pray to god that they do, know, and will find someone perfect for me! I can only dream rn and enjoy my life as it comes and not overthink something that hasnāt happened yet.
Anyways. I have a new appreciation for life nowadays.
I get up early.
I excersise
I try to eat as healthy as I can with the occasional kfc or chocolate lolllll (once a fooodie always a foodie)
I spend a lot of time with my fam
I make time for myself
I tidy up around the house a lot
I cook for the fam
I do not waste my time with boys
I remind myself of my blessings everyday
I try to pray more
I have a new meaning to life now. I appreciate things A LOT more to be honest.
Alhumdullillah xxxxxx
Lots of love
xo_anummmmm
Heart on fire
I'm falling in,
I'm falling down.
I wanna begin
But I don't know how
To let you know,
How I'm feeling.
I'm high on hope.
I'm reeling.
Hand in hand,
Sparkling eyes.
The days are bright,
And so are the nights.
'Cause when I'm with you
I'm grinning.
Once I was through
Now I'm winning.
I was shy, down, closed up
You opened up the door
I don't know where you came from
But you woke me up and left me wanting more
ā¤ļøā¤ļøā¤ļø
ššš
xo_anummmmm
āMy only goal in life right now is to be happy, genuinely, intensely and consistently happy, regardless of what that looks like to others.ā
ā
I love this!!!! But I canāt help but keep getting knock backs the minute I feel content and happy!! It gets soo much sometimes. Like it can even be the closest people to u that bring u down to zero.
I just feel disgusting sometimes by the way my family see me. My mum looks at me like Iām a shameful person and it makes me sick. I am mentally and physically drained from it all.
But InshAllah IM GOINNN PRAY!!!
Ask for forgiveness and inshallah Iāll be able to get through the tough times and see over this dark cloud and rain.
Lots of love
xo_anummmmm
āāNothing is built on stone; All is built on sand, but we must build as if the sand were stone.ā ā Jorge Luis Borgesā
ā
Where do I start???
So first of all I am no longer going into second year of uni! After alll th dreaded 8am till 7pm study sessions at the library, to working till midnight on lecture slides and rewriting notes again and again, I failed one resit module by FOUR PERCENT! Therefore makes me inadequact to carry this into second year and therefore I must re take this exam before proceeding. So basically GAP YEAR!
I am feeling positive about this dramatic change though as it has been a long time coming to be frank. I was failing badly, feeling down and not fit to carry on. So this is a blessing in disguise to have some time to chil, study and find the love I did have for Optometry. I have grown immensely to love the course but unfortunately it was too close to exam time to make any change strong enough to make me pass. Alhumdullillah I passed my other resits by flying colours so I know I can do it InshAllah and I am ready!
At the end of the day. Everything happens for the right reason. It may be tough at the time and I did think it was the end of the world and my life was over! But people endure much worse. Alhumdullillah I have my health just lol, and now I can regain that anum that first started Optometry! I can re quench my thirst, replenish my soul and rejuvenate for September 2019 for second year InshAllah!
I am truly blessed to have met the wonderful people on this journey and I wouldnāt change anything for the world! I genuinely love them with all my hearts especially Moizza butt aka Indian SARCY mumbai freshie, that FaceTimes me with an abaya and full on hijab on cause prayaaa is life ya know!!! Sheās cute. And of course my one and only lishaaa!!! Lishhh!!! Lishhhhyyyyyy girlllll!!! Sheās just such an angel and everything youād love in a best friend! Our car journeys are like no other and she is my fav forever! They are the two that stand out but I defos met many many others that changed my life for the better and truly made me seee what friends are. Nothing to do with numbers and group situations lol ahemmmahemm will not mention names. But to be honest itās not even funny, like it was such a depressing time of my life from November till March 2017 just because of a group mentality. Alhumdullillah I have grown and learned for the better and it was just another life lesson.
My song that Iām loving and listening to right now is.
All I need - Ellie Goulding Cover
āIf u love me, whyād you leave me, all I wanted all I need is, to find somebody, find somebody like you.ā āā fav line
Lots of love and peace
xo_anummmmm
Anyways, drink water and donāt let no mf bring you down.
Ameeen to that sis
One more lol
Basically shit happens man. At the end of the day my cousins mean the world to me. I want to be there for them. I guess they just havenāt realised how sensitive I am. They probably never thought about situations the way I do tbh. I just get alll in my feelings as drake wince said ps keke do you love me? šI had to lol. Anyway I just think itās better to speak about certain things at the time rather than letting the fester but itās hard sometimes for me because I donāt want to voice someting them it all becomes forced. I want them to call me over or for us to meet up because they want to not because I said I feel sad or left out etc. See why itās different but COMMUNICATION IS KEY. š ngl. Basically what Iām trying to say is that situation can become blown out of proportion if they are left lying there and sweeped under the carpet. Itās better to air everything out.
We are always going to be there for each other whether itās at weddings, graduations, baby showers, bridal showers, menhdis and just general everyday life. So itās amazing when we have this open relationship that is thriving tbh. Itās so much better than dealing with anxiety and having underlying tension that no one adresss because they are too scared to hurt the peace. I just wanted to make this post to remind myself not to change and to always be myself but just to be More vocal. I donāt want to be needy and feel insecure. Itās boring and draining. I want to Have a laugh, make memories and just enjoy life with my besties. That too hard. InshAllah we can stay happy and blessed always. Alhumdullillah for everything. Bless up
Peace and love
Xoxo Anum
Okay so one quick post before bed
So basically, Iāve been going through a lot lately. I feel like I always get myself in such awkward situations that are hard to fix without putting in a lot of chatting, effort and time which I donāt have cause I have exams next month that I NEED TO PASS TO GET TO SECOND YEAR!!!!!! INSHALLAH i can do it!
Anyway as I was saying, I seem to get involved in deep shit and it gets so emotionally draining. I wear my heart on my sleeve so if there is an issue I willl take the tolll of it all. I wonāt be able to sleep properly, it will be in my head all day everyday until itās sorted and cleared! It can get frustrating when the people at the other end donāt get that, or donāt feel the same way as you do about the situation. I guess I canāt blame them because itās a trait of mine tbh but still wouldnāt hurt them to feel and understand how I feel. Itās hard to deal with the constant anxiety tbh, it really gets on top of me and I crumble. I feel like crying but also feel so dry and emotionless, instead I just have thoughts going around my head. I feel insecure and always on edge. Just situations from before that have formed the foundation of my relationship with my family that cause me to worry and panic when there are issues. I find it hard to sort out when communication is weird and it can get blown out of proportion the other you wait to speak about it!
InshAllah I can speak Soon and get it solved because itās really not worth my time and energy.
Someone once said to (mariam aka my Bezzzie for lifeeee)
āYou canāt argue with stupidā which is basically describing my situation to a teee. They donāt have the same thoughts, maturity and attitude that I have which I canāt blame them for because they simply havenāt had any hardship. Everything is handed to them and they donāt know the meaning of hard work tbh. I donāt even care thatās besides the point. I guess Iām trying to say is there is no point in me trying to speak to them as intellects as itās a waste of time. They still behave like kids so I should take it on the chin rather than contemplate and worry. This has a knock on effect on myself which is really unhealthy. Alhumdullillah I prayed today after a long time and I felt so much better. Like a massive weight was lifted off my shoulders. It was amazing just go open my eyes and feel at ease. Alhumdullillah
Want to finish on a positive note
At the end of the day they are my cousins and I love them with all my heart. Always have and always will. I love being there for them through the hard times and I love going out, spending time with them as well as the chilled nights chilling watching trashy tv and chatting about life. I love them to pieces and they just have a different way of showing affection to me or they simply arenāt aware of the consequences of their actions. I need to work on trying to be happy and finding inner peace before trying to help others tbh. Inshallah I can do that through prayer.
Alhumdullillah I am blessed with the best and I need to appreciate what I have.
Peace and love
Xoxo Anum
Out here feeling used and abused
Basically
I am just too nice for my own good. Everyone takes me for granted and when I be honest about how I feel, Iāll just be blackmailed and hit with excuses. Then I end up being the one that feels bad when I have actually not done anything. I will always go out of my way to be real and I will do the little things everyday that make people smile but itās just not enough. Feel so down and no one actually seems to give a shit.
Xoxoxo Anum
āEvery day is a new beginning. Take a deep breath and start again.ā
ā
Yes!!!
Aināt this the truth man.
Sometimes all you need is to get rid of the negative vibes and energy and cleanse yourself. Surround yourself with positive people who bring meaning and joy to your day.
Heres to new starts
Fresh starts
Cleanse and growth
Boys man, whatās the point tbh
So I have finally came full circle. Took my time not even going to lie. Been told off by many of my close peeps but obvs I failed to listen and just carried on like it was fine until it all came crashing down. I guess Iāve just realised that it is GODāS PLAN. And you canāt interfere with that, you have to go with the flow and not try to take matters into your own hands especially when it comes to sensitive things like relationships and like chatting to the opposite š§š». Like what is the actual point. You donāt actually know what is going on cause itās all through social media. Why waste precious time on someone who doesnāt respect you for you. I had to learn the hard way well it wasnāt anything dramatic! Just funny to be honest man when you actually think back the whole situation is so funny. The boy is a joke and heāll realise one day, maybe not today or tommorow but nevertheless one day that he missed out massively! I donāt even care anymore I just have learned a lot in the space of a few weeks, glad I seen it now rather than when I got more invested. InshAllah Iāll find that one person that will respect me for me. Love me for me. Find my weirdness and quirkiness cute and love it forever and always. I have to just do me and good things and positive vibes will happen naturally. Peace and love xoanum
