infp/infj

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[xpersonality]

How have I become an INFJ?

If you have, congratulations. You just joined the elite club of the following;

1. Being constantly misunderstood and never fully being seen.

2. Having a love/hate relationship with most people because you tend to reflect to them, parts of themselves they’d rather not face.

3. You’ll spend most of your time single and alone, because your brain and nervous system are selfish, and want you all to themselves.

4. Your opinions and views will always be questioned because they aren’t based on “tangible” facts people can relate to. Intuition and extraverted feeling, is a b!*$h.

5. You will always see things deeper than they are, respond more intensely than you should, and analyze more comprehensively than the situation requires. This positions you having to constantly moderate what you share of your knowledge to others, about themselves.

6. Because you experience the depths of human depravity, what you find humourous will almost always be dark, and borderline insensitive. This makes your sense of humour only appreciated by equally dark and doomsday people.

7. You’ll compulsively please people even when you know you shouldn’t nor know they’re being manipulative. You’re an unwilling servant of humanity because your wiring just can’t allow things be as they are, without seeking to see how to make it better.

8. However intelligent and profound what you have to say is, its value is lost due to your inability to express it simply and concisely. Your complex, large-volume-detail-absorbing brain, needs a patient and willing listening ear, to give you the large amounts of time you need to express your complex thought process. Unfortunately, that is a miniscule portion of the population.

[xpersonality]

How do INFPs handle popularity?

Introduction

Imagine yourself being a 10 year old again….

It’s Thursday morning, 08:00 AM. Your day starts with a gymclass.

You don’t like school, except gym. It has always been your favorite school class. You love to play sports!

Today is basketbal on the schedule, you are extremely content to play your favorite sport.

You enter the gymnastics class.

So the moment arrived, the first thing that has to be done in order to play basketbal is that teams have to be formed.

Your teacher asks Tom and Charlie to pick their own basketbal team. Everyone could see that Tom and Charlie, the most popular boys of the class were feeling honored to pick their favorite team.

Tom picks his best friend Tim. Charlie picks Cathy, which he always plays with at school. Tom picks Bob. Carlie picks Hans. Tom picks Caroline, Charlie picks Robbie.

There are only two people remaining, Jan and You.

You start to get anxious, and afraid. Your hands start to shake and you start to feel dizzy. Terrifying thoughts are filling your mind like: am I being picked last?

The thing that followed was a long awkward silence ……………

The teacher encourages Tom to pick the last team member for his basketbal team.

Tom doesn’t hesitate and picks Jan.

And there you are, staring into darkness, nobody picked you, you are the leftover. You feel like you aren’t good enough, aren’t sporty enough and last: aren’t popular enough.

Sadly they picked the most popular kids, status is important early on. You see, at a very young age, children are influenced by the effect of popularity. It even starts at school as you saw in the example.

So, how do INFPs handle popularity?

We don’t.

We believe that popularity crushes humanity - The INFPs ideal is to achieve equality between humans. Status hierarchies shouldn’t be part of our society. Those hierachies prevent high status from interacting with low status people. So much friendships are never started because we thought that we were ‘’higher’’ on the ladder of social hierarchie. Treat everyone with the same respect.

We dislike attention - Since we are introverts our battery is limited, charging is necessary. It doesn’t take a lot of effort for us to be totally drained. Being watched and feeling constant pressure are the worst energy drainers. We LOVE to be in the background, let us be influential behind the scenes.

We keep our circle SMALL - Imagine the terrifying situation of giving a birthday party in which you have to invite all your 100 FRIENDS because of your immense popularity. This is my worst nightmare. I can count my important people on two hands and I want to keep it that way.

Message to my fellow INFPs:

Don’t be ashamed of yourself for not being popular enough, when you stay the way you are you will find the right, humble, like-minded humans you are looking for. Don’t be pressured to act popular, we are popular in our own unique way. Not admired by 1000 people, constantly followed and looked up to. But being important to the select, small group of people who are worth it to be part of our lives.

Thanks for reading!

[xpersonality]

What are the signs of an introvert?

In conversation with girls , you cannot see their eyes .

You swear a lot . You swear only to the ones you trust the most.

Many answers have given good qualities , signs and qualities of being an introvert , in such a way that being an introvert is cool and superior than being extrovert , but there is also lot of badthings and signs of being an introvert , let me tell all that which others failed to tell.

I am an introvert , and I am giving a generalized opinion. There a lot of good things , these are some of the Bad signs no one told you about.

1. While in conversation with girls you cannot see their eyes, instead you see the floor atleast for first few times.

2. People , especially elders(professors , relatives) think your silence is pure arrogance.

3. To opposite sex (especially when you are a guy) you are generally very shy and kinda rude ,while in a conversation , you see the floor down . (You don't mean to do it , but you can't stop it)

4. You have very few friends (most precious).

5. Prepares a lot before initiating a conversation , it doesn't come naturally.

6. Basically , SOCIALLY AWKWARD

7. You are always picky .

8. Most Cybercriminals are introverted(criminals online , it does not mean you are , but that's how bad introverts express themselves).

9. You find it easy to talk to strangers online , but not easy to talk to acquaints ,classmates (especially to opposite sex)

10. Basically, internet is where you show your real feelings , that's because you know you are never going to meet them again.

11. Your inner personality is just the opposite of the one you portray to everyone.

12. You show your real personality only to the most precious ones you trust.

13. Very sensitive to relationships , you are heartbroken when someone leaves you.

14. That outer personality tries to be a perfectionist , innocent , basically an ideal individual.

15. Inner true personality in general is very humourous, savage.

16. Silent outside, violent inside.

17. You can't ask for help even if you really need them.

18. You just digest the pain yourself without telling to even the most best friends , which can lead to depression.

You cannot express your love for someone if you have. You just keep silence and see the fruit getting a plucked by someone else. (This depends on which is more powerful your willpower(your love ) or your introvertedness.

Don't get me wrong , being an introvert does not mean you are bad .

You already have seen a lot of good things exclusive to introverts , I just wanted to mention few bad signs of being an introvert , I just didn't see anyone covering these bad aspects of being introverted .

Being introverted definitely is not bad guys , I'm just saying only the bad points people did not mention.

Let me tell a fun fact guys , two of the biggest internet celebrities are INTROVERTED IN REAL LIFE THEY ARE

1.KEANU REEVES(aka John wick , he is now on top of the internet)

2.PEWDIEPIE himself , but in real life he is very silent , introverted contradictory to his YouTube channel where he has a very DRY SENSE OF HUMOUR.

A fictional character Joker said “ Give a man a mask and he becomes his true self” ,while this applies to everyone , it is applicable more to introverts.

Now are introverts equal to extroverts ?, its debatable , many people believe being an introvert is cooler , which I being an introvert do not think so , again guys I dont know what it feel likes to be an extrovert , but I just feel extroverts have an upper hand , its debatable.

Thanks for reading everyone.

Peace.

[xpersonality]

What are INFPs good at?

I believe that INFPs are really good at following their “gut instincts.” And I think there’s plenty of good that comes out of this:

• INFPs have this insane ability to feel something or someone out, and just know. Of course, we’re not always 100% accurate, but we are damn close. Likely around 95% accurate. Who knows? Perhaps people around us aren’t honest because they don’t like how INFPs can call someone out when they’re not in a good mood or hiding something hahaha. I’ve had many instances of sensing something off in someone, and they vehemently deny it only to admit to it later on. I knew I was right!

• We’re creative problem-solvers and empathetic. Contrary to the belief that INFPs lack logic/rationality, we are very analytical in a creative sense. We see the details and then we try to connect the dots to see unconventional patterns. We are really good at going past all the symptomatic signs of an issue, and then cutting right to the core value of it to tackle the problem directly. This is extremely helpful when I’m counseling or providing customer service in my job. Most people would want to avoid an agitated person (and rightfully so), but us INFPs are intrigued by it. We’re curious what’s wrong. So we pull closer and listen to the person without judgment or reaction, and then we calmly offer insight, which can diffuse 98% of conflicts surprisingly. We move past the anger and empty words spilling out of the mouth, and we see a wounded soul who feels unheard by the world.

• We have a strong ability to see many shades of gray. We see the positives in almost everything and everyone. While people around us say that “s/he sucks,” we don’t settle with short-fused conclusions. We reason why they are the way they are, what led up to this point, and see how they are the product of their own environment. Of course, we’re not just day-dreaming forgivers by any means, but we can look at a situation beyond the black-and-white way. This is immensely helpful for INFPs in building their strengths and resilience. While everyone around us is saying, “This is bad,” we will look at the good and neutral points of it which helps us to not take things personally and move forward relatively quickly.

• Our imagination is out of this world! We are totally spaced out and thinking of the most random detail or scenario in our own heads. This might seem aloof or detached to others, but I actually really love this part of an INFP. We don’t need constant external stimulation. The party is in our own heads!

• We’re the ultimate independent people. Due to our heavy introverted nature, we are okay doing things alone. So many people around me always ask me, “How can you eat alone? See a movie alone? Or do XYZ alone?” I just do it. I don’t care what people around me think, and if they do then that’s too bad for them. While we enjoy the company of others, we don’t rely on them for us to do the things we really want to do. We don’t follow social pressures, and we often wave our own freak flag proudly.

[xpersonality]

What is the greatest perk of being in a romantic relationship with an INFP?

Mystery - we are quite dark & keep our deepest emotions only for those that have earned that trust.

Trust - if you get into our good books & stick around we’ll trust you with the most intimate information & secrets about us. CHERISH IT! We don’t open up to just anyone!

Loyalty - We’ll back you to the hilt & see through some of your flaws to protect you.

Caring - Those smoochy kisses & cute hugs are our game when we’re happy. An INFP will bring you a random gift out of the blue. If you show genuine appreciation then expect more.

Dating - INFPs will take you on quirky & weird dates. You’ll never visit a club but he/she will take you on the midnight Jack the Ripper tour of London or to the perfect photograph location of a harbour.

Conflict - We don’t like conflict so will try to resolve our differences with you in order to create a long term harmonious atmosphere.

[xpersonality]

What are some life tips for an INFP?

• If you want to go and smell that flower, do it. Let people think you’re odd. They’re the ones missing out. <3

• People may say they understand how you feel, but if they tell you you’re exaggerating or you should be over it by now, they obviously don’t understand.

• Yes, daydreaming is a true and wonderful hobby.

• Your ideas and feelings are important. Keep a journal of your thoughts because no one else in this world has your experiences and unique perspective on life.

• This planet can be a pretty harsh place. There are so many examples of violence and sadness in the news. If you need to hide away for a while, do it. It can only help your heart.

• Do all those creative things that make you happy. Try not to let the opinions of others squash your dreams.

• Criticism is difficult. Oh, how I know. Others can’t easily understand how painful it can be to hear. Remember that you have a beautiful soul and their words can not find you there. <3

• That romantic crush may not be real. Give yourself a moment to step back and look at the situation without idealization getting in the way.

• If you feel sad often, get a pet (if you don’t have one). They are ridiculous and cuddly. I swear that a fuzzy baby can seriously change everything.

• If you prefer sad emotional movies over comedies, that’s perfectly okay. Sometimes crying with the characters is exactly what is needed.

• Society is loud, abrasive, and out of control. It’s not uncommon to feel like you were born on the wrong planet.

• I know you have a story to tell. You should write it!

[xpersonality]

What is it like to be an INFP?

INFP’s are basically cuddly/cold walking contradictions! :D

Sensitive, but strong. Bright but annoyingly dreamy. Introverted, yet love to connect with people.

On the outside, we may appear reserved, detached, shy, or perhaps even cold. But engage us with a new idea, or share an intriguing thought and we light up like human pinball machines. Mature INFP’S tend to crave intellectual encounters and you'll know you've successfully captured our attention when our eyes fill with wonder and sparkle with life. The thoughtful, quiet person in front of you will suddenly transform into a surpringly social and charming creature, full of depth and complexity. When we've decided we've had our fill of socializing, we are more than happy to retreat back home where we can let our thoughts and imagination roam wild in private. During this time is when we are most creative, either penning entire novels in our mind, (which may or may not make it to paper) creating symphonies in our head, or bringing worlds to life with paint on canvas or molding them from clay with our bare hands. Creating art is where we live!

Although we are dreamy and tend to over-romanticize (literally everyone and everything!) we can also be surprisingly objective at times, and are quite capable of carrying on logical discussions of topics that capture our interest.

It should also be noted that despite our overall gentle, laid-back demeanor, we have a wickedly dark sense of humour that only those closest to us can fully appreciate.

Above all, we value loyalty, honesty, and compassion from those whom we let close, and though we may not show it on the outside, we are deeply hurt when we feel someone has wronged us.

[the-anomalous-infj]

INFPs I’ve Met (by an INFJ)

What I noticed and observed about them: (3 Males & 2 Females)

They are the introverts with a lot of friends. 

Each of them have some sort of hidden talent that I don’t even know why they keep hidden in the first place. They are just so humble. (It’s annoying– I LOVE THEM). Their hidden talent most likely has something to do with the arts. 

They are writers. The ones I know write blog posts, poetry, witty Facebook statuses, music, and lyrics. Self-expression is definitely a necessity for them.

Two of the INFP males I know have this innocent aura that will make you want to be super nice to them and even take care of them and not bully them even if they look so easy to bully. They’re that pure.

The other INFP male I know looked very tense and jittery before I first talked to him. But once I got him to start talking, he easily opened up. You just gotta reach out first.

Once you reach out to them, they will open up and you’ll discover that they are such cool people with strong opinions and beliefs. (pretty much closet ENFPs)

The two INFP females on the other hand were the ones who seemed loud at first–probably ‘cause they were with their friends–but ended up being really deep and humble people (I love it).

They are nice and civil to everyone. They don’t show it when they dislike someone (however, their close friends will know). They’re just that easygoing, which is why they have a lot of friends. (who are actually just mostly acquaintances to them–but they won’t tell them)

They have such good humor. Especially their sarcasm. AND THE TIMING OF THEIR JOKES IS PERFECT.

When they’re with their friends, you wouldn’t even think they’re introverts. They are so loud and lively with them (mostly the girl INFPs I’ve met are like this–the INFP males on the other hand are more obviously introverted). 

Everyone likes them. I’m serious, what’s not to like? They are such good-hearted and open-minded people (even if they have strong beliefs). Before you know it, you’re completely yourself when you’re around them. They just make you feel homey.

When they’re in a bad mood, they distance themselves. They just don’t want to be a burden, even to their friends. No matter how many times you insist to be there for them, they will shake their heads and handle their problems by themselves. After all, the fight is in their head.

When they present alone in front (in class), they can be the most awkward people ever. But they do have a lot of meaningful things to say. They just aren’t used to taking the stage.

Most of the ones I know suffer with anxiety. This is most likely due to the fact that they feel so deeply and tend to keep it inside–after all, Fi is their most dominant function. 

They are the nicest people ever (even if it’s not all that obvious), but if you hurt them on purpose–they will remember you for it. But they will forgive (on the outside).

They are the life of the party even if they aren’t loud. I don’t know, like when they aren’t present in their group of friends–there is obviously something missing. 

They are good with one-on-one conversations. It’s amazing how even though they aren’t good with big crowds, they have this ability to talk to a stranger for a second and make them feel comfortable (if they want to, that is). 

They are not boring– at all. It’s an Ne thing–their second dominant function–that makes them so talkative and animated. If they aren’t talking about something, they’re either making weird sounds to make others laugh or saying funny movie lines aloud (similar to INTPs). 

They are smart. They have their own way of understanding things and they are not clueless–I swear, they know a little about everything. Just give them a topic, and they will have an opinion about it.

They have trouble saying no. I swear, the last thing they want to do is hurt someone. (Unless it’s for justice)  

Music is extremely important to them. The INFPs I know either dance, play guitar, sing, or well–just need their earphones with them everyday to block out the world when they feel like it. 

The vibes they give off, equal to their current mood. They are infectious.

Well, what do you guys think? :)  Agree or disagree?

[xpersonality]

Which Color Personality Are You: Red, Blue, Green or Yellow?

YELLOW

The yellow personality is generally regarded as the sunniest personality. Often you will find them the life of the party. They are most of the time the loudest and most vocal of the four types of color personality. Some would regard them as the happy-go-lucky type who seems unable to take anything seriously. The yellow personality treats life as if it's one big, continuous party. If faced with a stressful situation, the yellow person would seek out friends and drink it out. Most yellow personalities fear rejection most.

More interesting facts about the yellow personality include they can be very loyal and great team players, and are personable and friendly. They can be family oriented and animal lovers, plus environmentally conscious and love the outdoors. Yellow personalities do not like conflict and are more adept at being the peace maker. A yellow personality is creative, expressive, intuitive, and makes great volunteers. They dislike phony people.  

Yellow Personality Tendencies

Optimism

Enthusiasm

Makes good impressions

Verbally articulate

Likes to help others

Creates entertaining climate

Yellow Personality Ideal situation

Friendly warm environment

Freedom from control

Public recognition of ability

Opportunity to talk

Positive reinforcement

Enthusiastic response to ideas

Yellow Personality Weaknesses

Following through

Overestimating results

Misjudging capabilities

Talks too much

Acts impulsively

Jumps to conclusions

Over commits

Acts first, thinks second

Yellow Personality Needs others to provide

Follow through on details

Focus on tasks

Logical approach

Yellow Personality Personal growth area

Time awareness

Objectivity in decision making

RED

The red personality is generally considered the "dominating personality". These are the types of person who demands that things be done their way and right now. They sometimes have low tolerance for undisciplined and devil-may-care attitude which oftentimes put them at odds with the yellow personality. If faced with a stressful situation the red personality would generally seek out strenuous activities like running or boxing to vent out his or her frustrations. Most reds fear failure.

More interesting fact about the red personality includes their desire to win, competitive, and a confident personality. Even though the red personality is competitive, they can also be insecure which gives a need for approval from others and drives their need to win. They can be selfish, and not a good team player, because they would rather be in the spotlight which makes them sometimes selfish.

 Red personality Tendencies

Getting immediate results

Making quick decisions

Persistence

Solving problems

Taking charge

Looking self reliant

Accepting challenges

Red Personality Ideal situation

New varied activities

Opportunity to really get things done

Continual challenges, multi-tasker

Difficult assignments

Freedom to act from their instinct

Control over the situations

Direct answers from others, no innuendoes

Red Personality Weaknesses

Insensitivity towards others

Impatient

Overlook risks

Inflexibility, demanding of others

Talks too much

Inattentive to details at times

Resenting of restrictions

Red Personality Needs others to provide

Attention to routine tasks

Caution

Focus on details and facts

Red Personality Personal growth area

Greater patience

Sensitivity to others' needs

Flexibility

GREEN

The green personality is generally referred to as the calm personality. They don't easily get frazzled and are the epitome of calmness even in most stressful situations. To them also falls the role of mediator when faced with sticky situations. When stressed, the green's approach is to sleep it off. The green personality tries his/her best to maintain harmony in all types of situation. Because of the green's inability to say no, people oftentimes take advantage of them.

The green personality also has the following traits. They are known to be very calculating and logical in their thinking which also means they do not make snap decisions and think everything through because of their love of analyzing every question and every situation. They are more scientific in their thinking, preferring facts over intuition of faith based answers. This can make the green personality rather skeptical of people and those with ulterior motives. They need a precise plan to follow, and they are not spontaneous, and do not like surprises. They can also be perfectionist and sometimes end up being emotionally detached.

Green Personality Tendencies

Supportive

Agreeable

Loyal

Self control

Consistent

Good listener

Opportunity to develop personal relationships

Green Personality Ideal situation

Sincere appreciation by others

Minimal conflict between people

Security

Acknowledgement of work by others

Limited territory

Traditional procedures

Opportunity to develop personal relationships

Green Personality Weaknesses

Resist change

Trouble making deadlines

Overly lenient with people

Procrastinates

Indecisive

Holds grudges

Overly possessive

Lacks initiative

Green Personality Needs others to provide

Push to try new challenges

Help in solving difficult problems

Initiative and accepting change

Green Personality Personal growth area

Facing confrontation and dealing with it

Moving at a faster pace and initiating

BLUE

The blue personality type is seen as the perfectionists. They are the ones who would generally examine the smallest details of every situation and fret about each one of them. The blue personality oftentimes appears unemotional and doesn't want to be touched. The greatest fear of a blue person is to be criticized.

Interestingly, other studies show that the blue personalities can be aloof, forgetful and fun loving. They live for the moment and are the exact opposite of the green personality.

Blue PersonalityTendencies

Orderliness

Conscientious

Disciplined

Precise

Thorough

Diplomatic with people

Analytical

Blue Personality Ideal situation

Being able to concentrate on detail

Opportunities to critique

Stable surroundings and procedures

Exact job description, expectations

Opportunities for "careful" planning

Sufficient time to do things right

Opportunities for reassurance from authority

Blue Personality Weaknesses

Indecisive (looking at all data)

Get bogged down in details

Rigid on the how-to's

Avoids controversy

Low self esteem

Hesitant to try new things

Sensitive to criticism

Can be pessimistic

Blue Personality Needs others to provide

Quick decision making

Optimism

Help in persuading others

Blue Personality Personal growth area

Be more open with their feelings

Be more optimistic

Color Personality Conclusion

This is not an exact science and many people can be different than what their color personality describes. Though some people are really described well with their color personalities, other people do not resemble their color personalities. Check out the following sources for more information, because this type of personality test can be very interesting. If you find you are someone that identifies with a certain color, these tests can be very helpful.

[xpersonality]

INFJs: what advice can you give a younger INFJ?

My psychologist identified me as leaning INFJ about 20 years ago but I didn't give it much thought then. I've been a "woke" INFJ for ten years as a result of rediscovering the MBTI concept during a difficult time. I wish I hadn't waited so long as the insights I've gained about my own personality and those close to me would have saved a lot of heartache and anguish

Here's what I've learned about myself through the years that I'm reasonably sure apply to many other INFJs too:

You have unique insights. They are real. The unusual internal wiring that makes you an INFJ lets you connect the dots easier. And you see more dots. Some people don't see any dots or recognize patterns and are more than happy to point out the "error" of your observations. So be it. You're job is to figure out what "feels" right and should be pursued, what can be put on the back burner awaiting more information, and what can be dumped because after thinking about it you realize your conclusions were probably wrong. It happens.

You will be lonely. INFJs can be unconventional because we act on information most others don't have. We usually have a broad range of knowledge and can come across as "know-it-alls." We can sometimes alarm people with our passion. We can start feeling down because we don't understand how people can be so cruel to one another. Or so stupid. Our faith in humanity can swing wildly from hour to hour. We can do the crowd thing for awhile and need to leave. We usually hate small talk on the phone and are often the worst party planners in the world.

We drive ourselves and others mad to "get things right" and to give a damn about something besides the most trivial things in life. We are usually disappointed—in others and ourselves. It's not that people don't like being around us, it's that we usually think people don't WANT to be around us. So we hunker down and keep to ourselves.

That's what can make relationships difficult sometimes. You will need to tap into the best part of being an INFJ—helping people—to keep you from being lonely. I volunteer at a homeless center. I'm active in the US Coast Guard Auxiliary. I write answers on Quora!

You will be able to do a lot of stuff. Some of it well. Most people will be surprised. Most INFJs I know are curious, versatile people. For example, I've written two novels, one has been self-published. I play jazz piano and can also play the tuba. I'm conversational in Spanish and know some Swedish. I can hold up my end of a conversation ranging from cosmology to dog grooming. I can talk Southern Country Gospel with a homeless man and discuss the latest power adders for high performance race cars with the editor of a national racing magazine. I did both last week. I sail the Great Lakes in my own boat. I like to cook. I have restored or built six houses. I can plumb bathrooms from scratch, do basic electrical work and restore old wood moulding. I have a four-year certificate in theology. I can paint and draw.

At this point you probably think I'm quite the braggart. That's not why I'm listing these abilities. The reason is that I can do NONE of these things proficiently. Except sailing--I'm a very good sailor! I suspect that most INFJs who have been around for several decades can make a similar list. Our curiosity and drive to know how something works can lead us to some amazing discoveries and bring us into contact with some fascinating people. Freeing yourself to explore and to try new things without having the burden of having to perform in public or to even be terribly proficient at any of them can lead us to a very interesting life!

You will second guess yourself. Constantly. You are your own worst critic. If you've ever had second thoughts about how you came across after submitting a report or talking to someone about something important, remember:

Your second guesses are usually wrong. Trust your intuition!

You may struggle in relationships. INFJs are not easy people to be around sometimes. We can be quirky, sometimes anti-social and have a tendency to tell folks how to build a clock when they ask for the time. We can fret constantly about the state of humanity, when our partner just wants to have a hamburger and talk about movies. The saving grace is that we love hard! When we've found someone we can be ourselves with, someone who accepts us, if not understands us, we're there for the long-haul. The people in your life who get that will adore you!

Finally, strive to know yourself better. Don't take yourself too seriously. Don't forget to have fun. Don't worry so much about what other people may be thinking about you---chances are they aren't thinking anything! And above all, be kind to yourself!

[xpersonality]

What are INFJs really good at?

As an INFJ...

I can read people's energies immediately upon meeting them or engaging with them. I pick up on their vibes, and kind of almost "read their aura" without challenge.

I have a hyperactive brain, and I have great trouble with slowing it down or "turning it off." As a result, I worry far too much!

I am very interested in human emotion and human psychology. I thoroughly enjoy figuring people out, and helping them to figure them selves out. As much as I dislike people and work hard to avoid them, I also enjoy engaging with them in order to study them, all the same.

I care very deeply for those who are closest to me. I embrace quality over quantity in my social relationships, and I cherish strong emotional connections.

I quickly become bored with and/or irritated by meaningless chit-chat and "tabloid talk." I do not care to socialize unless I'm either able to engage in friendly debate about social or political topics, or am able to engage in deep meaningful conversation about intellectually or creatively-stimulating topics.

I tend to think that everything is about me, but ONLY when "everything" is negative. I hate being in the spotlight, but I will drag myself into it when i feel as though someone else's misfortune might somehow be my fault. Usually the issue in question has nothing to do with me, and I end up worrying for no reason (story of my life).

I enjoy playing "counselor" or "therapist" for others. I am very good at examining and solving other people's problems, while I constantly neglect to examine and solve my own!

I have a STRONG need for creativity. I need to express myself through art in various forms. When I deprive myself of artistic expression I retreat, become depressed, and ultimately shame and berate myself. Verbal communication has always been much more of a task for me than artistic communication has been.

I become easily frustrated when I attempt to do something without success on the first or second try. I am highly perfectionist at the core, and I feel as though I should be able to master whatever I attempt. -no room for error-

I become obsessed with things out of nowhere, and spend much of my time researching my topic of interest. However, I soon get bored and move on to another topic just as quickly as the one before, about which I also obsess..

I always assume that others are judging or questioning me. I am very self-conscious, especially when it comes to decision-making. I always feel like I'm misunderstood and judged by a large majority of people about how I choose to live and interact.

Loud noises bother and overwhelm me, as do large crowds of obnoxious [drunk] people. My energy drains so quickly around any kind of volume of people or of sound. I need peace and quiet in order to be productive or to enjoy myself.

I am able to adapt to, and find common ground with, all different kinds of people - no matter age, race, gender, sexual orientation, political or religious views, etc. I love relating to and finding common ground with others, especially those who seem quite different from me.

I have always preferred the company of those who are significantly older than I. This was quite the case from a very early age, and has yet to change in adulthood.

Personality and emotional connection have ALWAYS been the roots of my attraction to the opposite sex, rather than physical appearance and/or financial status.

I would much rather receive a note, poem, or drawing from a loved one rather than a material/store-bought gift with a high price tag.

I am attracted to modesty and a humanitarian nature. I am attracted to selflessness, artistic ability, an open mind, and a tendency to forgive and lack judgment.

I am always seeking approval from my loved ones and, more so as a child, my peers. I have always felt very much like an alien when it comes to the ways that I function and view the world. I am a loner by nature, and as I age, I tend to appreciate and respect that aspect of myself more and more.

I struggle with the challenges of being a "highly sensitive person," which tends to come with substance abuse issues, depression, and anxiety, to name a few. I feel and absorb other people's emotions and fail regularly to protect myself from them. I am constantly drained and overloaded by a combination of the emotions of others and my internal thoughts.

I expect for others to understand when I retreat and become reclusive, yet rarely they do. I have a bad habit of isolating myself during times of immense stress. It typically does not benefit me in many ways to do this, yet I always think that it will.

I procrastinate and often put off my "to'do list" or responsibilities due to feeling bogged down by mundane tasks. I am always searching for the bigger picture, and feel as though I need instant gratification without applying necessary steps and work.

[xpersonality]

What are the five things INFJs value most in life?

THE FIVE THINGS-This indicates that these 5 things would be universal to all INFJ as the only 5 things that we value.

There are things that every INFJ values, but there are things that will always be individualistic.

I will describe some things that INFJ’s value and also indicate which are personal items which might not be for all INFJ.

Family-INFJ’s value family and those we care about. We are very protective of those we love, do not mess with an INFJ’s family.

Loyalty-If we care for you, and we are vulnerable with you, honor that. Don’t lie to us, be inauthentic, or abandon us simply because things aren’t as you envision.

Honesty-Tell us the truth no matter how difficult it might be. We will respect you more if you are upfront with us.

Sex, Personal one-I need sex and intimacy. A love language of physical touch. This is something I will never waver on.

Authenticity-Show me who you are, show me what you stand for. Some me that you are consistent with whatever values you hold

[xpersonality]

Do INFJs know that they are different?

I think on some fundamental level, yes. I think this is why after getting this "diagnosis" and how rare it is, it is often a huge relief. That is, its not that there's anything fundamentally wrong with INFJs, its just that they process things in a very unusual manner to most other people. 

This rarity then prompts INFJs to find other like-minded people to share experiences, opinions and thoughts. Online communities like this also have the bonus of doing everything in written form which is a strength of many INFJs. 

After wondering for so long what is wrong with them, to find that there's a whole bunch of people who think like you is very comforting and allows for understanding, self-improvement (which INFJs are big on) and commonality of thoughts. 

Although, on many occasions they enjoy being the odd one out, every now and then its nice to not have to stick out like a sore thumb and just be able to be themselves. Those that make an effort to understand INFJs are treated like gold because they know that people like that; people who take the time to get to know them and genuinely want to do so, are few and far between. 

[xpersonality]

INFJ Strengths

•Creative – Combining a vivid imagination with a strong sense of compassion, INFJs use their creativity to resolve not technical challenges, but human ones. People with the INFJ personality type enjoy finding the perfect solution for someone they care about, and this strength makes them excellent counsellors and advisors.

•Insightful – Seeing through dishonesty and disingenuous motives, INFJs step past manipulation and sales tactics and into a more honest discussion. INFJs see how people and events are connected, and are able to use that insight to get to the heart of the matter.

•Inspiring and Convincing – Speaking in human terms, not technical, INFJs have a fluid, inspirational writing style that appeals to the inner idealist in their audience. INFJs can even be astonishingly good orators, speaking with warmth and passion, if they are proud of what they are speaking for.

•Decisive – Their creativity, insight and inspiration are able to have a real impact on the world, as INFJs are able to follow through on their ideas with conviction, willpower, and the planning necessary to see complex projects through to the end. INFJs don’t just see the way things ought to be, they act on those insights.

•Determined and Passionate – When INFJs come to believe that something is important, they pursue that goal with a conviction and energy that can catch even their friends and loved ones off guard. INFJs will rock the boat if they have to, something not everyone likes to see, but their passion for their chosen cause is an inseparable part of their personality.

•Altruistic – These strengths are used for good. INFJs have strong beliefs and take the actions that they do not because they are trying to advance themselves, but because they are trying to advance an idea that they truly believe will make the world a better place.

INFJ Weaknesses

•Sensitive – When someone challenges or criticizes INFJs’ principles or values, they are likely to receive an alarmingly strong response. People with the INFJ personality type are highly vulnerable to criticism and conflict, and questioning their motives is the quickest way to their bad side.

•Extremely Private – INFJs tend to present themselves as the culmination of an idea. This is partly because they believe in this idea, but also because INFJs are extremely private when it comes to their personal lives, using this image to keep themselves from having to truly open up, even to close friends. Trusting a new friend can be even more challenging for INFJs.

•Perfectionistic – INFJs are all but defined by their pursuit of ideals. While this is a wonderful quality in many ways, an ideal situation is not always possible – in politics, in business, in romance – and INFJs too often drop or ignore healthy and productive situations and relationships, always believing there might be a better option down the road.

•Always Need to Have a Cause – INFJs get so caught up in the passion of their pursuits that any of the cumbersome administrative or maintenance work that comes between them and the ideal they see on the horizon is deeply unwelcome. INFJs like to know that they are taking concrete steps towards their goals, and if routine tasks feel like they are getting in the way, or worse yet, there is no goal at all, they will feel restless and disappointed.

•Can Burn Out Easily – Their passion, poor patience for routine maintenance, tendency to present themselves as an ideal, and extreme privacy tend to leave INFJs with few options for letting off steam. People with this personality type are likely to exhaust themselves in short order if they don’t find a way to balance their ideals with the realities of day-to-day living.

[xpersonality]

INFJ vs INFP

Similarities:

Both are private. Both are idealists. Both can be perfectionists. Both are insightful, analytical, logical, and meticulous. And both are intuitives, preferring the abstract over black and white.

The biggest difference?

INFP is highly in tune with their own feelings 

INFJ is usually oblivious to theirs

INFP’s dominant function is Fi (their own feelings), but INFJ doesn’t even have Fi in their stack. (Same for ISFJ.) Instead, their “F” is extroverted (Fe) — which is other people.

INFP has ever-expanding ideas …inspired by feelings 

INFJ has ever-narrowing “insights” … about people

it’s the INFP who speaks fluent “ideas and dreams”

INFP is inspiration, with insight

INFJ is insight, with inspiration

At their worst:

INFP replays the past to relive emotions, and is sensitive (not critical)

INFJ gets lost in “white noise” / “nothingness,” and is critical (not sensitive)

When desperate:

INFP obliterates their creativity with convention (ending up soul-crushed)

INFJ obliterates their thinking with hedonistic indulgences (ending up ill)

Their insecurity / fear (or: the biggest insult):

INFP — “you’re not special,” “you’re too sensitive/naïve/spaced out”

INFJ — “your insights aren’t meaningful,” or “your life is meaningless”

INFP feels pride from being unique and being seen that way

INFJ feels pain from not being understood or connecting with others

INFJ biggest value isn’t “authenticity” but rather “universal meaning.” They are merely a vessel, and their F is focused on others, not self (their thoughts and insights — not feelings — are what’s focused internally, and sometimes INFJs are utterly blind to their own emotions.)

As Heidi Priebe wrote,

“Because INFPs tend to be highly creative and individualistic, most of them have never met another person quite like themselves (including other INFPs). For this reason, they find it fitting that their type is 1% of the population — they think this explains their individuality, when in reality it is their introverted feeling that sets them apart.”

Deepest desire:

INFJs want universal insight on other people (INFP doesn’t reallycare)

INFP wants unique expression of self (INFJ doesn’t really care)

[xpersonality]

What is an INFJ?

INFJ is an acronym used to describe one of the sixteen personality types created by Katharine Briggs and Isabel Myers. It stands for Introverted, iNtuitive, Feeling, Judging. INFJ indicates a person who is energized by time alone (Introverted), who focuses on ideas and concepts rather than facts and details (iNtuitive), who makes decisions based on feelings and values (Feeling) and who prefers to be planned and organized rather than spontaneous and flexible (Judging). INFJs are sometimes referred to as Counselor personalities.

What are INFJs like?

INFJs are creative nurturers with a strong sense of personal integrity and a drive to help others realize their potential. Creative and dedicated, they have a talent for helping others with original solutions to their personal challenges.

The Counselor has a unique ability to intuit others' emotions and motivations, and will often know how someone else is feeling before that person knows it himself. They trust their insights about others and have strong faith in their ability to read people. Although they are sensitive, they are also reserved; the INFJ is a private sort, and is selective about sharing intimate thoughts and feelings.

What are the core values of the INFJ?

INFJs are guided by a deeply considered set of personal values. They are intensely idealistic, and can clearly imagine a happier and more perfect future. They can become discouraged by the harsh realities of the present, but they are typically motivated and persistent in taking positive action nonetheless. The INFJ feels an intrinsic drive to do what they can to make the world a better place.

INFJs want a meaningful life and deep connections with other people. They do not tend to share themselves freely but appreciate emotional intimacy with a select, committed few. Although their rich inner life can sometimes make them seem mysterious or private to others, they profoundly value authentic connections with people they trust.

How can I recognize an INFJ?

INFJs often appear quiet, caring and sensitive, and may be found listening attentively to someone else’s ideas or concerns. They are highly perceptive about people and want to help others achieve understanding. INFJs are not afraid of complex personal problems; in fact, they are quite complex themselves, and have a rich inner life that few are privy to. They reflect at length on issues of ethics, and feel things deeply. Because Counselors initially appear so gentle and reserved, they may surprise others with their intensity when one of their values is threatened or called into question. Their calm exterior belies the complexity of their inner worlds.

Because INFJs are such complex people, they may be reluctant to engage with others who might not understand or appreciate them, and can thus be hard to get to know. Although they want to get along with others and support them in their goals, they are fiercely loyal to their own system of values and will not follow others down a path that does not feel authentic to them. When they sense that their values are not being respected, or when their intuition tells them that someone’s intentions are not pure, they are likely to withdraw.

Who are some famous INFJs?

Famous INFJs include Mohandas Gandhi, Eleanor Roosevelt, Emily Bronte, Carl Jung, Fyodor Dostoevsky, Florence Nightingale, Shirley MacLaine, Jimmy Carter, and Edward Snowden.

How common is the INFJ personality type?

INFJ is the rarest type in the population. It is the least common type among men, and the third least common among women (after INTJ and ENTJ). INFJs make up:

2% of the general population

2% of women

1% of men

What do INFJs like to do?

Popular hobbies for the INFJ include writing, art appreciation, cultural events, reading, socializing in small, intimate settings, and playing or listening to music.

[xpersonality]

Infj

Sensitive, empathic, and insightful, you care deeply about people, wanting to accommodate them on the one hand, and having strong visions that you desperately want to turn into reality on the other. Often preoccupied with mulling over your personal thoughts in your own head, others are likely to describe you as tolerant, courteous, and appreciative, but also a bit remote and dreamy. Thoughtful and caring, you have a well-developed facility for putting yourself in another person's place and an instinctive understanding of how people work. Though you tend to spend considerable time fantasizing about how society could be improved, you typically refrain from arguing passionately in favor of your solutions. Instead, you prefer to influence others by gently letting them know how their individual contributions would be invaluable in the greater scheme of things.