indie twd oc blog based around amc’s
the walking dead. familiar with show & —— index.
comic canon. one-liner to novella. pan- —— mssg.
fandom & multi-verse. multi-ship. likes —— about.
crack. 124 years of rp exp. sw-ell mun. —— begin.
okay, so this has been a long time coming, i realize, but i've only just now realized the weight of my decision to take some time off daryl, and i feel really bad about it; so here i am. i just want to explain a few things about where i'm at right now.
i'm putting daryl on a prolonged hiatus. i have no idea when i'll be back, since muse tends to come and go like a god damn moth, but that's just what's happening. i'll explain reasons for this decision under the cut.
concerning threads, most of the things i have right now, ie the things in my drafts, might likely be dropped by the time i return. there's a chance i might overhaul this blog upon my return. i'll list relationships and such later on in this post.
places i may be, from now on, include my twd oc kingpin, my sebastian moran blog (1 & 2), or my personal.
that's all for now, i guess. thank you for reading if you do!
daryl is the kind of muse that started out as someone i couldn't say i fully understood. i remember typing at the beginning of making this blog, that i didn't see myself ever fully understanding daryl, and that as long as i didn't, i would have this blog for him; and to be quite honest with you, i wish i was still there.
my issue is this. without meaning to sound like a pretentious twat, i can now say that i understand daryl.
i get where he's coming from about things. a lot of how he feels and felt when concerning matters, i started to take on myself; his mannerisms, his responses, all that jazz and so much more. i can now on demand tell you whether daryl would make a decision or not, and how much he'll think about it, as well as the effect of all the weight's on his shoulders during his life has been and how that's gradually changed him over time. i can tell you, with the utmost confidence in myself, that i firmly do believe i understand him.
this, however, makes him almost impossible to use.
nowadays, he's incredibly non-versatile. he'll only want to respond to things that are in character for him, which cuts out just about half of tumblr; the rest of which are interactions would, no offense to anyone with this statement, do seem repetitive. i have written the same darn starter for daryl about a thousand times, and rp'ed the same scenario for even longer; and that alone is reason to leave.
my muse, though what i would call is as ic as possible, has just became so ridiculously close minded and non-flexible that he's just not working out for being a tumblr rp blog right now. i can't make those changes to him to make things work, i can't put him in situations i don't see happening; and then there's shipping.
i knew, i always knew, that if i did ships here, i'd get a shit ton more attention. i myself do like the idea of shipping, and even tried exploring it at one point, but it just got too personal and too ooc for it to work and i ended up losing it anyway; going through that upset; so i just gave in on that front. then i started to see that daryl doesn't want ships anyway. they just aren't him. you don't see him hooking up with anyone on the show. being ic means no shipping, which i welcomed to this blog; but came to realize that hehehee, if you don't do ships, not as many people actually give a damn. or so it seemed.
daryl, in my mind, is an asexual man anyhow. and the amount of people that also realizes this astonishes me in it's size. there's literally no one in the daryl tags who actually cares about daryl, since they're all so insane with shipping him off with the nearest person, boy or girl; and the fact that daryl isn't enough for them on his own;
well, it's a little sad, isn't it?
daryl's a character who sees himself as someone who isn't good enough, and the fandom can't see daryl dixon as a man who is good enough on his own.
all this in mind, as well as the fact that i have so many drafts its unreal and so little organization on this blog, as well as so many other reasons i can't even remember right now; lead me to jamming this asshole on hiatus.
i am really, deeply sorry, to anyone who's effected by this, but it is true.
technicality wise, some of the interactions i definitely want to keep the same include all of my things with relicuums, my thread with aintgonnabeyourbitch, & anything with theyoungsir, nobodiesgovernor, only-hxman & officerfriendlygrimes. to you guys, personally, i am so deeply sorry that it's making me upset as i type this, simply because of how wonderful you all are to me still, and how much i don't deserve that; as well as how much i value what we have and what we've always had with our characters. to you guys, you're the best.
i might come back by the time new muse fires up, or whatever; maybe when there's new content; but for now, i think this post sums everything up.
i've been really scarcely online recently, and i've got a lot of reasons why, which i'll explain under the cut, but the nub and gist is i really don't feel daryl right now and i'm probably going to have to put myself back on semi-hiatus until a new bout of inspiration comes along.
right now, there's a lot going on in my life, and it's just gotten to the point now that i can't even begin to focus on daryl or going on him and not to mention to draft count just getting bigger and bigger and bigger.
my grandma very recently was hospitalized (her husband didn't actually tell anyone until a week later), and she has dementia, and doesn't remember who i am, which is really starting to take a toll on me because my other grandma passed away from lung cancer about two years ago and it's just hard seeing our really small family diminish so quickly. the dementia is also hereditary.
my mum's just gone on holiday for two weeks to venice, and i never really got a proper chance to say goodbye since i was out and she was too busy to deal with, really, anyone; which is fair enough. my sister's going to be out the majority of the two weeks since she can't stand being at home with just me and my dad, so i have to handle my dad on my own. he's normally okay when it's just me, but i'm just really hoping it doesn't get bad, because there's no mum to help me out now so if i flip out or if i have another panic attack, there is going to be no one there to help, and that's scary enough.
i do feel like the only good thing i have going right now is my boyfriend, who is, bless him, trying his best to distract me from these things.
i am really, really sorry for having to spew personal issues on here, but i've really got no where else to do it, plus you all deserve an answer as to where i've been and what i'm up to and stuff.
when it comes to daryl, i think it's just been a long time that i've been here, and though i do want to keep it alive, i can't force myself. as much as i know i can write for daryl, the inspiration and desire has just faded, which is fair enough i guess; but a little frustrating that i didn't make it past my usual 'six month mark' of a serious rp blog.
i guess i'm also just fed up of the same interaction, over and over and over again. there's only so much you can do with the bloody box car they're stuck in. i'll probably be online when season 5 starts rearing it's head, and we actually get to see some action, and maybe something a little more versatile.
[ There's a sort of burning rage on his
expression then, as he looks at her;
his upper lip curled into a snarl only
fit for a wolf. he's pretty much done
here. if the girl wants to whine, then
she can do so when he's not around.
The crossbow is already raised enough
for him to shoot her in the foot. ]
" dumb bitch. "
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