dude.
his family only tolerated him because of what he could give them and basically forced him to hide and pushed him into a career where he had to keep the act because those same traits his family, his COUNTRY, shunned him for were also hated by his team, the guys who were supposed to have his back, the fucking league and a huge chunk of the fanbase
his family only wanted him for the money, his team only wanted him for the scores
he was literally treated as the means to an end and i'm not supposed to be protective of him? this boy hated himself to the point of repeating his trauma (ex. slinging slurs at other players) in order to blend in and hide out of fear that he could lose the only path that could buy him some semblance of safety?? and i'm supposed to be normal about this?????
he literally took shit for the act he put up as armor, had people talking crap on his character while keeping it up as the smoke and mirrors that surrounded his real self, his real relationships and his true fucking heart and i'm supposed to be ok? had to literally plan out YEARS for the reveal of him not being a complete asshole to keep himself and the love of his life safe??? istg whenever i start to feel normal about this man i just remember some detail and go crying all over again