okay I was kinda just joking about ripping into SJM during mental health awareness month but im too annoyed rn so im gonna do it anyways
let's talk about that fuck ass HIKE from HELL:
so the hike scene that happens in a court of silver flames is supposed to be framed as a healing "break through" and is supposed to be just sooo beautiful and emotional right? it even ends with sex!! (but of course it does bec these two have never been able to have a serious conversation literally ever)
so this hike happens bec Nesta spills the beans and RIGHTFULLY tells Feyre that her fuckass husband and ALLLLL of Feyres fuckass friends kept this ticking time bomb of a pregnancy from her. but you see, despite Nesta telling feyre about it AND feyre HERSELF saying Nesta was avenging both herself and feyre, this is narratively framed as a BAD thing
Rhysand finds out that Nesta ratted him out and he orders Cassian to get Nesta out of the Velaris or he will kill her
mind you he didnt want feyre to know about her legit DEATH due to childbirth bec he just couldn't bring himself to make her sad, but threatening to murder Feyres legit sister? sure
So Cassian takes Nesta on the hike from hell. before hand Azriel packs a bag for her to carry and he intentionally makes it too heavy for her. Cassian is a whole man child mad at Nesta for telling Feyre about the pregnancy despite Feyre not being mad at her. shes actually mad at THEM
"im not mad at nesta she was at least brave enough to tell me" - 21 year old pregnant woman
"well WE'RE mad at her so" - literal 500+ year old man btw
while this is all going on Nesta is RACKED with GUILT bec no one fucking told nesta feyre wasnt mad at her!!! so her terrible mental health is now EVEN WORSE than it was before
Cassian takes Nesta to the mountains where they walk in silence for DAYS. Nesta is forced to carry a bag too big for her to carry. Cassian wont even LOOK at her. meanwhile Nesta is having a mental spiral and is thinking about throwing herself off the side of the fucking cliff because she hates herself *that much* and she is *that depressed*
Nesta finally breaks down and Cassian is just so shocked about this!!! why he NEVER thought Nesta ever considered KILLING HERSELF
this breakdown is actually considered a āØļøgood thingāØļø by SJM bec Nesta finally actually had a break THROUGH!!! and now Cassian can see just how badly Nesta was actually doing now that she almost fucking killed herself
the emaciated body and the drinking and the random sex surely wasn't enough to signal Something was Wrong. Cassian even says these aren't moral failures in the beginning!!! meanwhile he and literally everyone else treat them as such despite engaging in similar behaviors
Nesta has her mental breakdown and Cassian gives her like 2 pages of āØļøwords of affirmationāØļø and then BAM cliff-side sex with the guy you've been sleeping with who also incidentally was in charge of your rehabilitation
this shit was actually TERRIBLE to read. it was triggering and very reminiscent of wilderness behavioral therapy "troubled teens" are put through. you know, the notorious wilderness behavioral therapy notorious for ABUSE. anyways.
her stans like to go but but but š„ŗš„ŗ sjm was writing from her own person experience š„ŗš„ŗ she was writing about a healing hike she went on with her husband š„ŗš„ŗ
does it look like I give a fuck about SJM self inserting into her books that MILLIONS of people read? Use your experiences all you want, I do too, but be fucking responsible about it
That scene was legitimately *terrible* and it ending in SEX????? right after she almost KILLED HERSELF????
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