Growing Pains @yafavbrownboy - Tumblr Blog

Trans men who want kids are still men. Trans men who get pregnant are still men Trans men who try to get pregnant because they want children and their partner can’t carry are still men Trans men who don’t discover that they’re men until after they already have kids are still men.

Wanting to or choosing to have kids doesn’t invalidate your gender.

guys-positivity

I hope pregnant trans men are doing ok. I hope that them and their children are healthy and I really want them to know that having babies isn’t just a thing for women, and that their gender is still valid. Your kid will love you regardless of your gender identity, don’t worry about it. I hope they have a safe, healthy birth with no complications and that they recover from it well.

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my voicemail: sorry, i’m healing :) don’t leave a message

lovlae

wishing all of my muslim followers a beautiful and peaceful ramadan!

yourbigsisnissi

When people tell stories about how their parents beat them, it’s always interesting to see their face change because they expected me to say “me too lol” but I instead say “I’m really sorry. You didn’t deserve that” Last time a co worker who also has West Indian parents was telling me in a joking way how he remembers being beaten with a belt because lied about his report card. As he was laughing it off and saying he deserved it, I just said “wow that’s awful hun. You didn’t deserve that.” And his whole face changed. Like it hadn’t occurred to him that it’s messed up that a part of remembering his childhood is remembering how badly it hurt to be beaten so badly at such a young age. Another time I had a friend, non West Indian parents, who talked about how she made a mess on a dress that her parents got her. It was really expensive apparently and she spilled red juice on it. She talked about how she was ordered to take the dress of and was beaten with a belt too without any clothes on. And she was laughing and said “I was a bad ass kid lol” and I said “no hun you were just a kid”. And she looked at me and immediately stopped laughing and just sat there like “yea…I was just a kid. I don’t know why they did that to me” My mom was raised in a household where she was beaten so badly….I just don’t understand how she is so loving now growing up in a home where she got so little love. They called it discipline, but once she became a social worker she began to see that it was abuse. That she grew up terrified of her parents, although they thought it was respect that my mom felt. It was fear. We have to get comfortable challenging what is often seen as cultural norms. We have to be a generation of people who are not ashamed to say “I would never beat my child”.

sixpenceee

11 signs of bad parenting via curejoy

frolickingthroughmanatees

Sharing this again because #5 helped me a lot with understanding my own anxiety triggers.

warandpeas

Dead and Rad

stopwhitepeopleforever

I had to squeeze these together but here’s a good portion of tweets from my rant on straight people’s ignorance when it comes to gay dating and the issues that plague the gay community like racism.

miseducatedmelanicmuse

biaizawas

bnha 30 day challenge: Funniest Character

↪ Present Mic

“Some people have arbor ardor but I’m more of a city kitty ya dig?”

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me @ myself knowing full well I’d go dark side for an attractive villain

effervescentbi

…a good man, with a good heart

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Lin Manuel Miranda; Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson; Terry Crews; Fred Rogers

Taika Waititi: Powerfully creative, Knows himself, Good humored, Takes his work and his relationships with other people seriously, Intentional as a creator

John Mulaney: Publicly supportive of his wife and other women in his life, Crafts humor without taking cheap shots at people, Supportive friend, Willing to laugh at himself yet confident

Andy Samberg: Uses platform and humor to publicly call out toxic masculinity and white privilege, Self-aware, Willing to cede the floor to others, Good friend

Will Smith: Very intentional about what type of actions he takes as a husband and father (if you haven’t watched him on The Red Table, you should), Good humored and professional, Dedicated to his craft putting in the hours and energy, Generous with his emotions and vulnerability, Responsive to others emotions and vulnerability

I read somewhere that one aspect of Toxic Masculinity is believing that being part of a “We” will erase the “I”; that selfhood is threatened by relationships with other people. It reads then that Healthy Masculinity (indeed, healthy people in general) create a “We” that enhances the “I”; that we can become more powerfully ourselves through relationships with other people.

All these men listed (and many more unlisted) live this type of energy, the one that builds connections without fear of losing the self - and in fact builds the self more with the building of connections.