naive unsatisfiable ⭐ baby ⭐

YANA, 22. Psych major. "Can anyone c me" - Cher's Twitter, circa 2015

[yanabortniks]

basics.

full name: Yana Mikhailovna Bortnik

nickname: Yana is already a nickname technically. She was named after her grandma Dayana, but her extended family on her dad's side calls her by a variety of Russian diminutives such as Yanka, Yanusya, Yaya, etc. Yana doesn't expect her friends to use any of them, but Dev's allowed to use "Yaya" ♡

faceclaim: Fivel Stewart

age: 22

gender: cis woman

pronouns: she/her

sexuality: unlabeled

hometown: Marquette, Michigan

birthday: December 23, 1999

zodiac: Capricorn sun, Aries moon, Pisces rising

traits: responsible, patient, ambitious, extreeeemely independent, resourceful, loyal, organized, self-disciplined, cautious, methodical, suspicious, sensitive, know-it-all, often expects the worst, nosey, cheap, rarely satisfied

major: Psychology

more info.

Yana’s parents are both semi-functioning alcoholics and her relationship with them is very… strained. She goes to weird and sometimes extreme lengths to appease them in a way that seems sincerely useless because they either don’t care or don’t notice. And some people who don’t understand the situation might often feel that Yana is making it seem worse in her head via her projections and insecurities, but on the flipside Yana’s like okay but you don’t get it actually!

Last year her mom was diagnosed with breast cancer and is doing fine now, but between thinking about grad school and her future and just her constant, CONSTANT worries about her parents’ health due to their substance abuse issues, she fully spiraled out. Went MIA. No one heard from her for a couple weeks. (Romy intervened ♡)

She’s currently waiting to hear back from PhD programs to become a clinical psychologist and will go literally anywhere that takes her and gives her good money. What motivates Yana is not perfection but success, and it does have the habit of driving her up the wall sometimes but that is just the kind of sacrifice she has to make in order to fulfill a goal. 

Personality-wise, Yana is very much an extroverted introvert. She looooves being with her friends and she can spread herself out pretty thin sometimes, but she also needs to recharge on her own. She’s also very sincere and tries to push people toward vulnerability (tried to make the whole friend group watch the Brene Brown vulnerability TedTalk) and talk their issues out and always wants to take temp readings on how everyone’s doing.  (Real picture of her: https://i.pinimg.com/564x/4a/1a/4c/4a1a4cf5baeb1172e6e29b6fff5fe714.jpg).

Again, she’s often Doing The Most, which can be helpful but also very aggravating for those around her sometimes, about stuff like, spending literal hours in a Saver’s and making you suffer under those fluorescents and writing long handwritten letters to communicate her feelings. But she is also often hands-off irt other people’s drama. Like, you come to her for deets that could maybe clear up a situation and sometimes she’s like…. “I don’t think it’s my place to say anything, you should talk to that person about it” and suddenly you’re wringing her neck. Xoxo.

UMMM other than that, she’s a loyal friend who wants to establish a FT schedule, keeps all her bad grades stuffed in a binder that she keeps in her room, has a lifelong obsession with Cher, will sometimes sincerely fall to the ground from laughing so hard at your jokes, is the jumpiest bitch in the biz, likes goofy humor and when her friends playfully make fun of her (to an extent eeek), doesn't drink alcohol or smoke weed (though she may indulge in a teeny tiny edible), NEEDS concrete plans, rocking her light blue crocs half the time, passionately adheres to the 5-second rule of dropped food (kinda gross), semi-estranged from her older brother, thinks she’s the worst daughter to ever exist and she should be met with chants of “shame shame shame!”, likes cheap Pinterst crafts, HATES when people pay for her to the point where it has caused actual tension, she's Buddhist, likes to meditate, is constantly trying new things to "heal" her (different teas and crystals and apple cider vinegar shots), has a tattoo that references Vienna by Billy Joel, etc. OH, and she’s an RA!

pinterest // playlist

[yanabortniks]

ofdevburroughs​:

-

Though they were all well aware of the weather, it’s sounds echoing off every corner of the cabin, it didn’t quite prepare Devlin for the feeling of actually being in it. The chill was the first thing she felt, followed quickly by the wind. Then smell of rain and mud and gravel mixing. The sound of the rain so much louder than inside without the walls keeping it out. And finally, her eyes adjusting to the sensation of brittle wind and hard rain. Squinting for a moment to make it easier as she pulled her hood up. Tucking hair into collar before she tucked hands jacket pockets, feeling the coolness of phone screen against her knuckles. Pulling jacket taught by pressing fists down against the fabric. She saw Yana’s movement out of the corner of her eye instead of hearing it. Head turning instinctively towards it before she quickly but carefully followed after her. She wasn’t unaccustomed to storms, but in suburbs. In a planned out town. Where the rain drained easily and the walkways were cement and not mud. “ Mmmhmm, ” She hummed at first, nodding her head, but added a more audible, “ Okay, yeah, ” a moment later, making sure she adjusted her stepping to follow her advice. It wasn’t easy, as a flat foot was instinctively the most stable position. She fell silent in concentration, not that much conversation could be had in the conditions, her eyes and entire being instead focused on ground beneath her. 

.

The rain came down in sheets. All chance of conversation was drowned out by the sound of the downpour. Yana could feel the dampness leaking through her worn sneakers; her toes grew colder and colder as they walked, the wind whipping against their cheeks. She pulled her hood tighter around her face. Though she tried to keep her footing stable, her heart still jumped a couple of times she felt like she had been about to turn the walkway into a mud slip ‘n slide. Eyes squinted, she kept them ahead. Already unfamiliar with her surroundings, the weather made her feel even more uncertain of how long they ought to keep walking. She was glad, once again, that Dev was with her. She wished she could say it and be heard. An undetermined amount of minutes passed when something started to take shape up ahead. Yana wiped at the water dripping from the brim of the hood and onto her face. It loomed largely across the road. Yana’s breath hitched. “Shit,” she hissed out and quickened her pace. A tree. It was a tree, wasn’t it? No, she thought. No no no no shit shit shit. When it was finally in front of them, Yana let out a noise of frustration, then kicked at the trunk. It was cracked and split, fallen during the storm. Struck by lightning, or old and knocked over by the wind. “Shit!” she repeated louder and spun to look at Dev, both hands dragging down the front of her face. She felt her skin stretch, her eyes pulled and obscuring Dev’s face for a moment before she let go. Yana reached into her pocket for her phone. “Classic! Sooo classic,” she bemoaned, but whether or not Dev could hear her was both a mystery and useless. She dropped into a crouch by the tree, her elbow resting on the trunk, as she hunched over the screen so it wouldn’t get drenched. Her wet fingers struggled with the touchscreen as she jabbed harshly and entered her password. It took her three tries. She squinted up at Dev. “Do you have service?” she asked, raising her voice to be heard.

[yanabortniks]

joxevans​:

-

“I never said you said that, I’m saying you’re treating me right now like I’m on crack or like I drank alcohol or-or like my tolerance is low or somethin’ when…” she wasn’t gonna be honest, but it felt relevant to the point. “I have been smoking every day for months. Do you know how difficult it is for me to stay high for more than 20 minutes? I know it’s nothing to brag about and we can definitely circle back to this when we’re not collectively losing our minds, but I just want to make this point once and for all – weed, for me, does not hold the same effect it does for people who smoke it occasionally or, or once a week or whatever.” Jo was aware she sounded upset, but she wasn’t truly upset. She just wanted the other to understand that her capacity to help was not limited by a joint. If anything, it was limited by the lack of sleep which had slowed down her reflexes - and overload of anxiety attached to the potential of being stuck in a cabin with a bunch of ghosts or demons or gas malfunctions. Weed helped. It made it easier to keep track of her thoughts, to be less scared. And although developing dependency on the substance, especially after the fire, was a bigger issue than she cared to admit just yet – it wasn’t an issue right now. 

She takes in a breath, as if to remind herself there was no enemies here. She looks at Yana and her features soften. Yana was her friend, and Jo knew that she just wanted what was best for her. There was no need to get worked up, to fight or get bitter. They were friends. And she loved her. As much as Jo knew how to love. “Look, I know you’re worried for me. And yourself. And Dev, and literally everyone else. I’m…I’m worried too, alright? But –” Jo wants to take a hold of Yanas hand, but she leans back against the wall instead, trying to figure out a way to explain she was good to go. But she then gets an interesting thought. “Wait, if we take a picture of the symbol and actually manage to find some signal out there — then we can reverse image search the thing and see if it pops up somewhere. If it doesn’t, the chances are it originates from, well, right here, right? I mean, that would get us closer to some type of answer, right?”

.

Yana’s jaw clenched as she glanced away from Jo. “I’m treating you like I’m uncomfortable,” she started suddenly, then momentarily put the brakes on where she was headed. She never wanted to put it up with bright, flashing lights above her head: damaged goods. Can’t let people live their lives or make their own decisions or go with the flow. She’d heard all the complaints before. Jo could’ve told her she’d be sober in the next five minutes and Yana wouldn’t want to stick around for those five minutes either. She swallowed down her own resistance to explain herself further. “I’m just trying to set a boundary,” she said evenly, finally looking back at her friend. “Sometimes, I just don’t like being around this stuff. Any of this stuff, in any form. It’s — That’s it. Simple as that. I’m not questioning your tolerance or how often you smoke or anything.” Though the latter was unquestionably a conversation for another day if you asked Yana. “I just can’t deal with it right now.” Her heart battered painfully in her chest as she spoke. They were words she’d usually reserve for a handwritten letter or a long text she’d send Jo’s way twenty-four hours later, excessive and extensively thought out and, almost without fail, usually polarizing. But now, she nearly spat them out. Impulsive and jittery and with her whole body begging her to go go go. “It’s not personal,” she continued, voice quieter but still tense. “Okay?”

I’m worried too, alright? Yana crossed her arms across her chest. Part of her did think Jo just didn’t care, what with the casual way she entered the space with arms full of snacks and glazed-over eyes. She felt a little bad for feeling that way, but she was mostly relieved to be proven wrong. As Jo continued, her arms tightened. Maybe an hour ago, she would’ve been more interested in what the symbol meant. That might’ve even been one of her top priorities, figuring all of this out. But not now. Not after she took out the Ouija board on her own and everything that followed. She started to shake her head, then reached out to place her hand on the doorknob. Yana wasn’t going to pull it open right then and there but she wanted to get across the message that she was in a rush. “I don’t have time for those kinds of answers,” she explained, though she certainly had dozens of questions of her own. They still poked at her, but their edges were dulled by worry for her best friend. “What we need to prioritize is getting out of here, Jo. Whatever that symbol means, it’s clearly nothing good, and cracking whatever ‘mystery’ that’s going on here doesn’t take precedence.” TAKE HER, the Ouija board spelled out. She needed to take Dev and go before something took her first. “Unless it’s some key to make the rain stop, then I don’t — I don’t care. Not right now.”

[yanabortniks]

I haven't felt safe since 2007 I haven't felt safe since 2001 Pacing around my apartment To keep my heart open Call my friend in a cold sweat Am I dying?

[yanabortniks]

romyowusu​:

+++

Romy nodded, she had to give Cruz an extra point for being so willing to go with things. Romy didn’t have the same urge to eyeroll at Cruz and Yana that she had caught Dev with, but always chalked it up to Yana’s rough patch. Watching her friend struggle like that was hard, and seeing anyone take a little bit of that stress off was something Romy couldn’t argue against. If only Dev had stayed in bed with Yana all night… “I get that…” She agreed that it was hard to get one on one time, it didn’t feel right for Romy to keep Teddy up just because she couldn’t sleep, but moments together were like flashes amongst the mayhem. She caught herself, almost giving the secret away, even if it felt like it was bound to come out sooner or later, after all Jo knew now. “It’s hard to balance time here, I mean.” She perked her head to the side as she listened to Yana begin, but the conversation didn’t go where Romy had expected. “Weird? Like what?” She felt the box in her hand wobble a little, her own nerves shaking it about. Does she tell the others that the voice in the wall pointed her to the list of names, told her to find Mary? Or keep it to herself, try to help them first. “I think I did too.” Her tone was quieter, her mind not totally made up on how much she felt like was worth sharing. “In my room.”

.

It’s hard to balance time here. That much was true. Yana struggled to think of ways to carve out a piece of time to sit down with Cruz and talk about anything that wasn’t the glaringly obvious: Dev’s bloody fingertips and the knife stuck into the dining room table. The ambiguity of their relationship was pushed to the back burner—not that it often wasn’t. In fact, if Yana took a moment to think about it, she’d realize that the conversation had been continually nudged aside again and again for the smallest of reasons. And she was frequently the perpetrator. For all the hope she had about the weekend as a chance for them to talk, one had to wonder if even if there were no Ouija board and no sleepwalking and no creaking floorboards if Yana and Cruz would’ve come any closer to figuring their shit out. “Yeah...” she trailed off and wanted to say and things were already murky between us. But she didn’t. It was hard to justify bringing it up, to rationalize making it Romy’s problem after everything that's happened.

Yana pressed her lips together and picked at the cuticle of her thumb, leaving it red and irritated. She glanced down as she picked off a small piece of skin. It stung faintly. “Weird like—” she started, then stopped. She inhaled deeply. Boyfriend troubles were too much to share right then, but what about bizarre sounds and inexplicable occurrences that’d add to the lingering anxiety. And she didn’t want to look crazy. She didn’t want Romy to look at her like she was crazy. But then Romy continued. I think I did too. In my room. Yana’s eyes widened. She continued to pick at her thumb as she turned fully toward the closet. “When I came in here yesterday, it wasn’t because I planned to. I was just walking by and I heard the door open. All by itself. Which, I know could’ve been a draft or shitty, old hinges, but — I swore I heard the doorknob turn. I thought one of you were messing with me at first, but then... Well, I went in and no one else was there.” And then it got weirder. She paused. “What happened in your room?”

[yanabortniks]

levitowsley​:

-

“Listen, it’s not like this place is my favorite either but going out, right now, while it’s pouring sheets, it’s not the safest decision.” No surprise Levi held that opinion. He wasn’t the biggest risk-taker. “Like I get what you mean, I’m concerned about Dev too, and this place creeps me the fuck out–” Not that he was generous with his negative feelings about the cabin, keeping those concerns close to his chest. “–but I think going out in this condition, putting yourself and I don’t know, maybe me at risk because if you’re dead-set on going there’s no way I’m letting you go alone, is not a smart decision.” He hoped Yana could at least see that, trying to appease to the part of her that was practical. “Making plans? Yeah sure, let’s think of something and put things in motion to make getting out of dodge as soon as the rain lets up as fast as possible. But trying to do something out there while it’s happening…“ His words trailed off, a defeated sigh following. “Please just– don’t go out there,” he said. Was it begging? He hoped not. He’s been pretty pathetic recently as is. Levi couldn’t remember the last time he’s ever spoken so much and so quickly but the deep concern he felt for Yana right now was pummeling through his quiet demeanor and making itself known whether he wanted it to or not. “We can make plans. We can do what we can in here, just… Please, I don’t want any more people getting hurt.”

.

“You don’t get it, Levi,” Yana started, her voice thinning with barely concealed distress. “We don’t have the time to not start taking legitimate and tangible steps to leave. I can’t do flimsy ideas, I need to do something real right now. And I thought about it and this is the first one: get my phone to work. And the only way to do that? Get out there.” She gestured toward the door, a sharp and sudden movement then dropped her arm back to her side. “If you don’t think that’s smart, then... then I can just live with that.” Her mind was a jumbled-up mess of knots and worry and repetitive threats made by something invisible. Disembodied laughter and directionless footsteps. Sensibility was drowned out and turned foggy. This seemed sensible. She couldn’t understand why Levi didn’t think it was. Not right then.

Her fingers twitched as he continued, more emotive than she’d seen him in a long time. She knew Levi cared about his friends, even when he was even-toned and reserved. Logically, she knew that. She could always see that. She would’ve never labeled him as uncaring, but the way he spoke still struck her still for a moment. Yana swallowed, then shook her head. “I’m not going to get hurt,” she continued slowly, not entirely sure of her words even as she said them. It wasn’t a worry on her mind until he posited the possibility. “But I do... I need you to understand that I need to do this. As my friend, I need you to get it and to, like—” She stopped short, her hands curling and uncurling before she reached up to push an errant strand of hair out of her face. “I’m going to tell you something and I need you to listen with an open mind and the knowledge that I won’t — I wouldn’t lie to you. Not about this, not about... God, not about anything. Okay? Can you promise to just listen?”

[yanabortniks]

ofdevburroughs​:

-

Fingers fumbled a little trying to tug laces tight, making sure her sweatpants were tucked in so hopefully it would avoid the rain getting her socks too wet. But she pushed through, with far more ease than she had other tasks that morning. It held an importance over the others that gave her drive. She nodded in agreement as Yana spoke, humming a soft, reassuring note of agreement with it. They were so often on the same page but she liked hearing Yana’s plan out loud as much as Yana probably appreciated Dev letting her know she was listening and she was on board. “ He probably does, ” She said, though she almost regretted it once it left her lips. Was it false optimism? She’d said probably, and it was a safe assumption, right? “ He doesn’t live that far and people away from cities usually have those sorts of cars, right? Or know people that do, for, like, this exact reason. ” She explained, both for herself and Yana. That if they could get in contact with Amon, their chances of getting out of here safely had to be reasonably in their favour. Validating the optimism she’d shown. 

With a final tug tight of her shoelaces, she stood, making much quicker work the zipper on her jacket than she had the laces. She patted the pocket of her sweatpants, her phone tucked in the pocket from even before she ran into the other. She pulled it out to double check its charge, still mostly full from the night and the fact she didn’t have much access to her fingertips. “ Alright, ” She pocketed her phone again as she moved towards the door, looking through the window beside it to look at the rain. “ It doesn’t look like it’s gonna let up any, so, let’s just do it. Out and back again, quick as we can. ”

.

“Out and back again, quick as we can,” Yana repeated, nodding in agreement, and reached for the doorknob. The force of the storm made a slightly more difficult task than she anticipated, and she had to hold it open for Dev to step out so it wouldn’t immediately slam back closed. The heavy door that led out to the garage back at her parents’ house always acted the same way, with a sudden, resounding bang of noise that always made Yana jump out of her skin. Always on edge and perpetually nervous around loud noises, she tried not to let the thought alone of them tense her further. The wind whipped at her face and she did up the small button at the chin of her coat, cinching the hood closed tight around her face. In any other scenario, she might’ve enjoyed the ridiculousness of how she looked. It was so much darker outside, and she had to wonder how much longer they’d have power. Quick as we can, she thought again, closed the door behind them, and stepped out onto the porch. The walkway already looked muddy and liable to make them slip and fall. She steeled herself and started the trek down. The ground squelched under her feet. Over the growing din, she continued in a louder voice: “Don’t place your foot, like, entirely flat as you walk. You’ll get suctioned in and lose a shoe.” Storms of all sorts were not unfamiliar to the Upper Peninsula. On more than one occasion, her dad broke out the mud pattens he constructed himself. He’d probably laugh at the image Yana made right then, desperate and clumsy and ill-prepared. 

[yanabortniks]

levitowsley​:

-

“Hey…” Levi’s brows tugged together at the sight of Yana as he approached her. Concerned and a bit curious. She looked like she was prepping to go out, and soon enough she confirmed as such. “Yana…” There was a tinge of disappointment in the way he’d said her name. “It’s pouring out,” he reminded her. Not that it was necessary. The incessant pound of rain against the cabin’s windows and roof was ever present, the soundtrack to their chaotic morning. It was the kind of downpour that made the phrase ‘sheets of rain’ make sense to him. Looking at Yana struggle with the zipper of her coat, he couldn’t help but register this sort of… unease in her. A jitteriness? Whatever it was, it made concern creep up the back of his neck. “Don’t you think we’d be able to tell from the inside?” A gentle request for her to not go through with this. “It’s–” He briefly turned, catching a glimpse of the angry downpour from the window closest to them. “–probably not the best idea.”

.

Yana heard the disappointment in Levi’s voice when he said her name; it sounded so different from the way he said it yesterday. A little embarrassed on her behalf for her misunderstanding of an idiom, but not disappointed. She tried to steel herself against it, and moved to finish zipping up her jacket. “We need to make plans, not just—sit around and wait,” she started, the thought of which made her whole body go itchy and uncomfortable. Even if she wasn’t as freaked out as she was, doing nothing was never her M.O. “Sticking around clearly isn’t an option anymore. You saw Dev, Levi. You saw what’s on the table. And I... I don’t want to be here, between this morning and last night and... literally like half an hour ago. It’s getting out of hand.” Yana pulled her hair up and out of her face, tying it into low bun. “We can’t stay, and someone needs to sus out when and how we can leave.” She pulled her hood over head. “You might not like it, but it has to happen.”

[yanabortniks]

ofdevburroughs​:

-

Dev’s brows furrowed slightly when Yana uttered her name and then quickly stopped her sentence. Confusion, concern, a little bit of a silent ‘go on, I’m listening’. She would listen to anything Yana said, she hoped she knew that. Before much else was said arms wrapped around her and she quickly unclasped her hands from behind her back and return the hug. Chin poking into Yana’s shoulder, her fingers soft against the weatherproof material of her jacket.

She wasn’t sure what the hug was for, but it was welcomed. And missed once it was over. She gave another soft smile. A quick tug up of the corner of her lips before her attention was directed down to her fingers. She looked down, stretching out her fingers in front of her. Though practical, the idea of putting her hands in plastic bags might hinder more than it might help. If she slipped, she wanted the grip of her palms at least. “ I can … put them in my pockets. ” She suggested instead, sliding her hands down her sides like she was slipping them into imaginary pockets. “ They’ll be fine. ” She said after a beat, and silently she meant that she would be too. “ Gimme a sec. ” She said, reaching out to give Yana’s shoulder a quick squeeze before she turned to go up the stairs.

It only took her a couple moments to pull her weather jacket from her bag (that, yes, was still hanging out in the hallway), tugging it on as she grabbed her docs and headed back down the stairs. Taking seat on one of the bottoms ones she started tugging shoes on, tying them quickly. “ So, you check the weather and maybe I should call Amon? ” She suggested, “ He knows these roads better than any of us, and I don’t know how much longer we should stay here in this weather. ” She blamed the weather with ease, much easier than acknowledging the growing fear from simply being here. That this cabin was having some sort of effect on her, pretty directly opposite from the effect she’d hoped for.

.

Pockets. Right. How did Yana forget about pockets? She nodded, half-trying to rein in her thoughts from anxiously moving ahead: picturing herself walking out the door and into the rain, to traversing through the weather and down the road, to waterlogged shoes and numb fingers. She stared at Dev’s face, and tried to stay in the moment. Step-by-step. Gimme a sec. “Of course, take your time,” she said, a little on autopilot and fully hoping Dev wouldn’t take her time and sort of just grab her stuff as quick as she could. When Dev turned and left, Yana didn’t know where her head went while she waited. It was like she hung it up on the mostly-empty coatrack, leaving her body behind to stand listless and still until she finally heard Dev’s footsteps come back down the stairs. Her shoulders dropped at the sound; her brain buffered back online. She blinked slowly. It all felt like it’d gone by in a second. “That’s a good idea, and I was thinking... if the roads get all muddy and basically impossible to get down, then maybe we can ask him if he knows anyone with one of those all-weather trucks who’s willing to get us out of here?” she suggested. “We can come back for our cars, obviously. Because I don’t know a ton about cars, but I do know backroads like these can get really shitty really fast. And even if the rain lets up by the time we planned to leave, it doesn’t mean the roads will be ready to let us go.” At the very least they needed to get out, even if that meant sitting around in a Motor Inn in the meantime.

[yanabortniks]

romyowusu​:

**

“Oh, Turk right? Or is that the gorilla?” She leaned against the wall closest to her, Romy’s eyes staring at the elephant as if it could signal the right answer. “No, it’s Tantor? Is this water sanitary?” She did her best impression thinking back to the trailer. “I think this….looks like an Elliot…but I might just be saying that because it sounds like elephant.” It was easy to imagine why Yana might relate to the sensitve, cautious characters but which is maybe why Romy felt the need to add Tantor’s other trait that came to mind, “Loyal though, gotta be a little brave too…I might Tarzan would’ve had such B.O.” It was hard to find anything light enough to joke about, and to have a joke land to tired, worried ears was a whole other thing.

“It’s such a cute cabin, or it was when we got here.” It seemed much more menacing now, even Elvis couldn’t fix that. “but something about that horse is judging the hell out of me.” For what? Buttercup probably had her reasons. “Did you and Cruz have an okay night?” Love, the thing Buttercup probably was side eyeing her for and the thing that might make Yana smile in spite of, it all.

.

“Yeah, I think that was his name,” Yana acknowledged, smiling a little at Romy’s joke about Tarzan. At the mention of Cruz, Yana busied herself fiddling with the flap of a cardboard box. It’d gone velvety with age; she ran the pad of her thumb over the material. “I invited Dev to share our room with us, so she and I took the bed, and Cruz was delegated to the floor. He was a good sport about it,” Yana explained. He was always a good sport, actually. He was kind and patient and funny and forgiving. She thought about how she half-hoped this weekend away would give them a moment to talk. And she’d actually been optimistic about it—even if all their previous ‘talks’ were less than productive. It seemed like they were destined just to keep going in circles. “We haven’t exactly had much, um. One-on-one time, I guess, and now my head’s all... messed up. I don’t know,” Yana trailed off vaguely, then dropped her hand from the box. She watched Romy for a second, still a little uneasy in the storage room after last night. Out of the blue, she continued: “You know, I came in here yesterday to grab those boardgames, and I—” She wet her lips, her gaze moving toward the ceiling, like the sounds of scurrying little feet would start as soon as she started talking about them. Proof of something sane and sensible. Her eyes dropped back to Romy. “I heard something weird.”

[yanabortniks]

joxevans​:

-

Jo looks over at the mirror as the other gestures, kind of taken aback by her own reflection. She was high, she knew she was high, that was the point of getting high. But she also understood that some of her friends didn’t really know how this worked. She was high, not drunk and she was slow, not a liability. “Okay now, I smoked some weed. Not crack. Five minutes out in this weather and I’ll be stone cold sober. And nobody…” she continues, but is now putting a coat on top of the jacket that refused to zip properly. “ – Is more annoyed that’s the case, than I am…” She wanted to enjoy her high, she did. But she was not stupid either, or completely senseless.

“Okay how about…” she now gestures to the mirror, pointing at Yana instead. “What would you say to her if that were someone else? Someone you cared about? Because Yana I know, would not let anyone go out alone, right? You could slip and get hurt. Lose direction, get kidnapped, who the fuck knows, right? We don’t know anything about this place. So I’m not asking you, I’m telling you - I’m coming.” she opens the door and frees the way for the other. She may have been high, but she still had some autonomy. “Now shall we go? Because I promise you, I’ll be a bigger liability following after you if you don’t know I’m there.”

“And no, I did not forget the knife stabbed into the kitchen table. I just thought Dev must’ve made it up in her sleep because it makes more sense than it being a demonic cult. – We’re all trying to make sense of things, alright? So can we take the judgment down a notch, please?”

.

“I never said you smoked crack, and I don’t care if it’s ‘just weed.’ If I wouldn’t trust you behind the wheel of a car, then I don’t trust you to navigate a rainstorm when the visibility’s so shitty,” Yana started, annoyed with the assumption that she didn’t know how weed worked, then took a deep breath. She slowed her words, tried to soften their edges, but she was jittery. She didn’t accomplish much on that front. “And I wasn’t being literal a second ago. The symbol’s creepy and weird and it clearly means something. And cults always seem to use stuff like that. It’s called being descriptive and, like... sort of hyperbolic.” Yana was impatient with trying to communicate with someone under the influence, a thing she’d had to contend with since childhood. There was always belligerence; there was always someone telling her she was overreacting, that she was judgy when she set a boundary. She hated that prickling feeling at her skin, making her want to wriggle right out of it. And she hated the way people moved and spoke when they were fucked up; their slurred words, their lack of coordination. All it served was to make her uncomfortable. When she was around her friends and they were drinking, or if any of them were doing drugs, and she reached her limit, she at least had more opportunities to leave—go for a walk, go back to her dorm. Here, they were trapped. And right now, Jo wouldn’t let up. And Yana didn’t want to seem like a bitch, but she didn’t want to be around her while she was like this. Not when Yana was already so on edge. “See, we can’t even communicate effectively,” Yana sighed, trying very very hard to keep her voice even. To sound sensible. To seem strategical. “If you’re worried about my safety, then I’ll go and find someone else to come with me. Okay? I won’t go on my own.”

[yanabortniks]

ofdevburroughs​:

-

She didn’t mean to sneak up on Yana, but the events of the morning did have her trying to be a little lighter footed. Just so people didn’t cast a glance her way every time she moved. Friendly or concerned, it didn’t matter. “ Sorry, ” She held up her hands when Yana spun so quickly and sighed in relief– she offered small smile with her raised hands. Reassuring, she hoped. Though a moment later she remembered the state of her hands, and let them fall. Holding them behind her back as Yana explained what she was doing. It made sense, and Dev was grateful but she shook her head when Yana suggested that Dev didn’t have to come with her. Sure, maybe Dev going specifically wasn’t an awesome idea but she didn’t think Yana should go alone. And selfishly she wanted to get out for a moment too. Even if it ended in her being completely drenched. “ No, I’ll come with you, ” She said, “ Just let me grab a coat, get some shoes on. I’ll be two seconds. ”

.

Yana felt torn. On one hand, she desperately wanted Dev to come with her. But on the other, well. The other hand was both of Dev’s bandaged ones, and the reminder they served. Take her. The words were on a loop in Yana’s head. T-A-K-E H-E-R. “Dev, you—” she started, then stopped. She wanted to tell her everything. She didn’t want to bother her further. Yana just wanted her friend to be okay. She wanted to not feel crazy, and for everyone to be safe. And God, she wanted her damn weather app to load. “Okay. Sure, okay, but first can we just—” Coat still half-zipped, Yana stepped forward to swiftly envelop Dev in her arms. It was a quick, tight hug. She tried to squeeze in what she felt, all her feeling, all the things she wanted to say but couldn’t or didn’t know how or felt deranged for having stored up in her. “Thanks,” she said, quiet and seemingly-nonsensical.

Clumsily, she pulled back. A little embarrassed, a little comforted by the warmth of Dev’s body—a solid, living thing. And still Dev. “I broke my wrist in second grade and had to put a trash bag over my arm when I took a shower. Should we, like. I don’t know. Put sandwich bags over your hands? I don’t want your bandages to get ruined.”

[yanabortniks]

joxevans​:

-

So Yana was making a lot of sense. The storm, even without the fucking poltergeist vibe, was still a very real and relevant issue they had to sort out. They were here for the weekend, if this shit dragged out, they could be stuck here for like…days. “Just…slow down.” Suddenly, she feels the heaviness of the food in her hands which might soon become scarce, and places it all on a short table right by the door. The one people usually used for a few framed photos and a key holder.

She’s not surprised by the judgment in Yana’s voice, but she’s also way too high to care for it. Her soul was light, her mind was light, she just wanted to…chill. The thought of going out in this, disgusting weather, getting all wet, possibly for nothing…it seemed not chill at all. – She’ll lift her palms in defence, once her brain finally processes the question and smile. “I uh, yeah I got nothing…let’s just go…” 

Without any arguing or objection, she grabs a jacket from the hanger (no idea whose it is) and ponders on that choice of wording. “Wait, what you mean a demonic cult symbol?”

.

Yana took a step back away from the door when Jo said let’s just go, shaking her head all the while. She didn’t want to go out into a godawful storm and have to be in charge of keeping track of someone high out of their mind at the same time. “No,” she said decisively. “No, you definitely cannot go out there. Are you kidding me? Look at you, Jo.” She gestured to the hall mirror, beckoning for Jo to look at her bloodshot eyes and her slow-moving limbs. “You could get hurt.” You’re a liability, she wanted to say. Not only could Jo hurt herself, but she could end up making Yana waste her time out there. She tried to soften both her expression and her voice, but didn’t succeed much at either. “I can’t... I can’t wrangle you right now. Maybe you should go take a nap and sleep this off.” Jo’s next question surprised Yana, who had her hand halfway out to gently nudge Jo’s elbow and herd her back toward the living room. “Did you seriously miss the kitchen knife stabbed into the table? Next to a creepy... sigil or something,” Yana asked, slow and dubious. “How long have you been smoking?”

[yanabortniks]

joxevans​:

-

When Jo felt powerless, she got high. When Jo felt anxious, or tired, or scared…she got high. And right now, with combination of the aforementioned, she was stoned as a motherfucker and buttering the shit out of some half-toasted bread she’d found laying around. She took a bite and left the rest hanging out her mouth, as both her hands reached for the large bottle of water and the rest of the munchies she attempted to smuggle back into her room. 

Her sandwich was a goner the very second she ran into Yana. “Ah fuck…” quiet mutter, she’ll have to clean that up now. “Hi –” she greets back as her eyes begin to study the other, comprehending what was happening…or about to happen. “You’re going out right now? To get…phone signal? Right, right now?” 

She can’t move much, her hands are packed with half-eaten bags of Doritos and cheese and sweets and whatever else she managed to squeeze in there. But she steps closer to the door and peaks outside. “Oh girl nah…”

.

Yana expected she’d be met with skepticism and disapproval. The rain was loud and threatening, even when it was separated from them with walls and windows. In any scenario, she wouldn’t step outside unless absolutely necessary. And it now felt absolutely necessary. Yana pulled up the zipper in a sharp, quick movement, nearly pinching her neck with the teeth at the top. “I have to,” she said simply. “Look at those clouds, Jo—look how dark they are. The storm might last awhile, and we can’t cluelessly wait the whole thing out without knowing for sure. We need to make a game plan so we can leave.” She pulled her hood over her head and stepped toward the door next to Jo. Already tense and on edge, her brows furrowed as she got a good look at Jo’s face. Yana crossed her arms tightly. “Are you high right now?” Maybe she shouldn’t have been so shocked. She knew Jo. She knew Jo’s coping mechanisms, but she also knew what she could handle in her current state and this wasn’t it. Even when her stress wasn’t rapidly mounting, these things were difficult enough to deal with. “Someone carved some demonic cult symbol into the dining room table, and you got high?”

[yanabortniks]

romyowusu​:

who: @yanabortniks​ where: storage room when: day 2, after the morning spooky shit

if romy had her way, she’d be hovering over all of her friends to ensure their safety, whether they wanted it or not. deep breaths, trying to think logically and get to any distraction she could were the strategy to get by. board games, something that could be won and therefore something that was far more likely to scratch that insatiable itch deep within her. looking for a game board buddy, and also someone she could check in with, she sought out yana and they made their way to the cluttered storage room.

“what would you name that elephant?” she pointed to the wall despite the fact that there wasn’t any other elephant around, board game in hand though romy indulged her nosiness by peeking in a few boxes here and there. “they’re much friendlier looking than the horse in my room.”

.

Yana always appreciated Romy, some days more than others. And right then, standing back in the storage room after her strange experience in there the day before—and the series of strange, spine-chilling events that followed—Yana felt dizzy with relief that her friend was there with her. Her warm presence had always comforted her, and she needed it. Even if she was hesitant to leave Dev’s side, she knew she couldn’t smother her. They could spend a few moments apart. Just because Dev was out of her view didn’t mean anything worse was going to happen. Yana told herself that again and again. 

What would you name that elephant? Yana blinked, briefly taken out of her internal, anxious narration. She looked over to where Romy pointed. “What would I name it?” she repeated dumbly. “Um—yeesh, I don’t know. What was the name of that elephant in Tarzan? The one who had like a hundred phobias.” Yana altered her voice a little, letting it go nasally and high-pitched: “’It’s a piranha!’” But the impression lacked any real humor. She was too tired. Too uneasy. “That guy... I liked him. I always liked the neurotic side characters best.” She followed Romy’s actions, peeking into boxes but halfheartedly. She looked over toward the closet door, then back at Romy. “I didn’t check out your room but horses are famously super creepy, so I trust your judgment.”

[yanabortniks]

who: open @phantasmhq​​ where: entryway when: day 2, mid-morning

With her phone white-knuckled in her hand, Yana stood shift-eyed by the front door. She quickly figured her worn sneakers weren’t exactly suited for the heavy rainfall, so she layered up two pairs of socks and now her toes felt a little pinched. And no matter how many times she looked down at the screen, the facts didn’t change: she couldn’t make any calls, she couldn’t check the weather report, she couldn’t frantically google for answers. Not that she thought there could be any real, solid answers for the questions she had—but at least there’d be ideas, theories, unhinged reddit threads. Something.

With her free hand, she grabbed for the raincoat she’d hung on one of the wall pegs the day before. Back when they first arrived, back when she liked the thought of settling in and making the cabin homey and familiar to her. Yana caught movement from the corner of her eye, and she turned sharply. Then she let out a sigh of relief. “Hi,” she breathed out, and started to pull on her coat. “There’s no way in hell we’re going to miraculously get reception in here anytime soon, so I’m — Yeah, I’m gonna head out.” She stuck her second arm through, then shrugged it over her shoulders as she tucked her phone into her pocket. “You don’t have to come with me or anything.” Yana fumbled with the zipper for a moment before it finally caught. “I just really need to see if this rain’s going to let up.”

[yanabortniks]

levitowsley​:

-

A laugh – one that wasn’t subdued by his innate bashfulness – fell from him. Levi could picture it. A shirt with those words on it in puffy paint. So quintessentially Yana. The worst part was that he’d love that shirt if she gave it to him. Would cherish it even. Especially if it was a graduation gift and possibly the last DIY thing she ever gave him. Sure, he wouldn’t opt for that for everyday wear but not all shirts were meant to be worn, right? That’s why some people framed jerseys from their favorite athletes. Some things were simply kept to be admired. 

Wow. Nietzsche found dead in a ditch. It amused him, mouth twisting into a half-moon shape. “Your brother, huh?” Levi didn’t know much about Yana’s brother. Or much about her family at all, really.

The confession entertained Yana. That was all he could ask for.  He was no stranger to embarrassing himself for… whatever this was. This hopeless fondness for her that he couldn’t quite squash. “I mean, I know it has something to do with sewing. Is it like, a medieval needle holder? Like a pin cushion but a cup?”

.

Yana loved when Levi laughed like that. Admittedly, she loved making any of her friends laugh—on purpose, by accident, or at her own expense. But there was something really special in getting a laugh like that out of him, not stifled or snuffed out. Your brother, huh? Yana huffed a little laugh of her own. “Yeah, my brother,” she repeated, gently half-mocking in amusement at the way the question was worded and delivered. In one of her freshman year Psych classes, one of their icebreakers was guessing who was an oldest, middle, youngest, or only child. Overwhelmingly, her classmates assigned her as the latter. Yana always found that interesting. “As an only child, are you jealous?”

She hummed in response. “That’s not a bad guess, actually. At first, I thought they were just some fairytale object. Same with the spinning wheel in Sleeping Beauty. I had absolutely zero frame of reference for what any of those things were, so I just assumed they were totally made up.” She picked the thimble off from her pinky then reached over to take hold of his wrist and tug his hand across the table. Yana arranged his fingers, then placed the thimble on his pointer finger. It sat atop it like a little hat, too small to go any further. “Or that maybe it was a token of affection. It’s just so cute, is the thing,” she said, smiling indulgently, then moved to continue poking around the box. She waited a beat, then revealed: “But it actually protects your finger from getting pricked by a sewing needle, so it’s very practical.”