Trying @flowersgrowingfromtheceiling - Tumblr Blog

what i’d really like is for someone to objectively watch me for a week or so and then just sit down with me for a few hours and explain to me what i am like and how i look to others and what my personality is in detail and how i need to improve where do i sign up for that

feargender

This just in: men are good. Masculinity is good. Being a man is good. Yes including cis men. Especially including trans men. If you’re someone who loves men, that’s good. Male love is good: the way men love each other, the way men love themselves is good. You should not be ashamed of loving men or of being a man, you should not shame others for loving men or being a man. Maleness is not a threat or an evil or unsafe.

toastpotent-deactivated20250619

wait wait can you want a dick but not in a guy way but like just to have one???

you can do whatever you want forever

mycroftrh

One of the biggest influences on the way I currently see gender and sex and transgender identity was one tiny sentence

When I was talking to my top surgeon, he mentioned that he'd done top surgery on a butch lesbian. She identified fully as a woman, she just wanted a flat chest.

And that... blew my mind. My own desire for a dick and a flat chest is in a guy way, but the freedom of knowing that it doesn't HAVE to be a guy way, that you can just want a body and have it -

That not only is gender presentation in clothes and so forth mix and match, you can treat your body that way too, not only does your gender not have to 'match' your assigned body your chosen gender doesn't have to 'match' your chosen body because all that really matters, on any of it, is what feels right to you -

I was full up on "you can be trans without wanting to change x part of your body" but learning that that could also apply the other way around was what blew my mind and shifted my whole understanding of identity.

symptoms-syndrome

Passive aggressive maybe, but like...healing and getting better isn't easy. When I see people make posts about "LOL google says I should make a schedule to help manage my ADHD but I can't make a schedule bc I have ADHD" it's like. People saying that stuff know it's hard. That's part of why you gotta do it.

Sometimes healing is easier. Sometimes it's something really small that becomes routine. But sometimes it's hard! Sometimes you gotta push yourself to do something and it sucks! But I don't know what to tell you, other than that you don't need to be good at it right away.

Using the calendar example, I have ADHD + semi-frequent memory loss, so it can feel really difficult to try and make a calendar when both of those things can directly get in the way. So I started with making sure recurring events were in it, like therapy and med reminders. Now I'm usually able to remember to put in appointments or other one-time events in as soon as I know about them. It takes a lot of work.

I don't know. I just think sometimes people on this site are sitting in mud and complaining about being dirty. You really do need to try.

goobiroo

I relate to this but for cptsd and routines. It's hard. Healing isn't supposed to be comforting all the time. It's an everyday every minute thing. But I do the work to get better

symptoms-syndrome

Yes! It definitely applies to a lot of things.

Thinking on it more, I think part of the issue is that people view things as either in their "comfort zone" or in their "danger zone," which is not really how things work. There's an area in the middle where things suck and feel bad but aren't so bad you're in danger (mental, emotional, physical) and that's where growth happens.

Because I'm a visual learner:

Trauma can make you think things are like this:

When in reality, things are more like this:

Trauma etc can make that challenge zone (often also called a window of tolerance) really fucking small, so it can be easy to overshoot into the danger zone, which can lead to having panic attacks and being triggered. Sometimes that can reenforce the idea that everything outside our comfort zone is scary red danger zone! But with gentle prodding into our little orange areas, we can grow our window of tolerance. Growing our challenge zones, then turning our challenge zones into comfort zones.

Using a more concrete example, say you try going to a party and you get SUPER overwhelmed! That might put you in a situation where you visualize things like this:

Figuring out what's in that orange "challenge zone" can take some trial and error, but maybe you can try something like this:

Forcing yourself to go to a party where you'll feel overwhelmed and triggered is just going to reenforce the seperation of the red and the green. But pushing a little bit, in a way that feels scary but safe? That's where growth happens! Then maybe eventually, things look more like

goobiroo

That makes a lot of sense. You explained this so well, thank you! And totally, that orange area is super hard to figure out bit it's possible.

Since my coping mechanism is to make challenges into adventures:

I tell myself my orange zones are quests that will help me get to my goals or newer areas. And like any other person, I gotta rest in between them and not overwhelm myself. When I am rested and taken care of my needs, I have a better chance to avoid quick burn out when picking up the quests again. This storytelling keeps me excited and keeps me in check to let myself rest.

mjalti

should-be-sleeping

Friends, too! Vent by all means. But then get Actual Help.

ellengton

Please this. And please don’t be offended when the friend you vent to suggests you need professional help

nevver

sowhatifiliveinkyushu

Residents view the first iceberg of the season as it passes the South Shore, near Ferryland Newfoundland, Canada by Jody Martin

antique-scarecrow

it…did not occur to me that icebergs just…pass by people’s houses

portraitdelajeunefilleenfeu

i used to live in st. john’s, nl, and, in late spring to early summer, it was not uncommon for a giant iceberg to float slowly by just outside the harbor. they would mention it on the news and radio. they took hours or, sometimes, days to go by. and, when it happened, it would make the whole town colder.. like ice in a glass of water. and, sometimes,… they would groan. as they passed.

leafinthebreeze-deactivated2026

noshameinoursickness

repeat after me:

crying is a HEALTHY release of emotion AND a great way to complete the stress cycle

weirdcultstuff

imperfectlyxo

If you are scrolling through Tumblr trying to distract yourself from something you don’t want to think about, or you’re looking for a sign. It is going to be okay. Just breathe. You are alive and you matter.

faedreamer-deactivated20180128

i reblog this everytime i see it because i always need it and figure others do toom

pastelparrotlet

Try stuff. Put plants in your room even if you aren’t the best at caring for them. Attempt that dessert recipe even if it turns out ugly. Listen to that music you’ve been meaning to try for a while. The world is full of infinite sources of goodness and the best thing to do it to try and find as many as possible.

systlin

I just jerked out of my midday dissociation and realized that seed bombing a golf course with mint would be the ultimate crime.

Oh my god this is so evil.

I love it.

terulakimban

Not mint. Native wildflowers. Because sure mint’s hard to kill and never completely goes away. But mint can also be kept low to the ground, and if you turn the sprinklers off and returf, you can keep it in check. Flowers, though? With quick growth, and fast seeding? Plants that have bred themselves for millennia for exactly that soil and the natural local water conditions? Do it in small sections, and start near water features. By the time anyone realizes that they’re the “wrong” plants, they’ll have already flowered and gone to seed, and once that happens, they are there forever. Source: mom may have used native wildflowers as spite plants before for a particularly obnoxious and lawn-proud neighbor who also lived downwind. Hypothetically, if she did this, she was also 1) a tenant and 2) not a fan of either the landlord or the local HOA.

kumabearsweetheart-deactivated2

It’d be a shame if somebody linked to how to make wildflower seedbombs. It’s simple enough but some folks might not know how but might really, really want to because they’d want to do something they absolutely shouldn’t and so helping them with multiple links would be really bad, right? I am not suggesting you do anything. I’m not thinking of golf courses near me.