hey I saw you overthinking on a sunday afternoon and I just wanted to let you know you shouldn’t do that
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@yayforawesome
hey I saw you overthinking on a sunday afternoon and I just wanted to let you know you shouldn’t do that
a workplace accident
Not that anybody asked, but I think it's important to understand how shame and guilt actually work before you try to use it for good.
It's a necessary emotion. There are reasons we have it. It makes everything so. much. worse. when you use it wrong.
Shame and guilt are DE-motivators. They are meant to stop behavior, not promote it. You cannot, ever, in any meaningful way, guilt someone into doing good. You can only shame them into not doing bad.
Let's say you're a parent and your kid is having issues.
Swearing in class? Shame could work. You want them to stop it. Keep it in proportion*, and it might help. *(KEEP IT IN PROPORTION!!!)
Not doing their homework? NO! STOP! NO NOT DO THAT! EVER! EVER! EVER! You want them to start to do their homework. Shaming them will have to opposite effect! You have demotivated them! They will double down on NOT doing it. Not because they are being oppositional, but because that's what shame does!
You can't guilt people into building better habits, being more successful, or getting more involved. That requires encouragement. You need to motivate for that stuff!
If you want it in a simple phrase:
You can shame someone out of being a bad person, but you can't shame them into being a good person.
Fun fact, that was literally what inspired me to make this post!
Rocky on the trip back to Erid registering that Grace has defaulted to using he/him for him for sexism reasons and that they don't actually have to go by he/him. xe does some research on the human computer and spends several weeks cycling through different pronoun sets. starts switching so frequently Grace becomes convinced sie has started being difficult on purpose. after a while Grace is like omg will you just pick one and stick with it. Rocky is like okay i have decided. rock/rocks. rockself. Grace like well i can't argue with that.
#see the hill that I will die on is that if Andy weir was cooler rockey would use either they them or xe xir#you’re telling me cool middle school teacher Ryland grace is unfamiliar with the concept of fun new genders#absolutely not. his students have taught him about singular they them and neopronouns
Grace trying to explain to Rocky that they can be whatever they want to be and presenting a whole list of different pronoun options and Rocky (who has no concept of gender) being like 'why would I care about any of this'
Rocky: which pronouns does Grace use question?
Grace: he/him
Rocky: okay. Rocky will use he/him too
Grace: okay but I feel like defaulting to he/him promotes a patriarchal kind of mindset and we should be more thoughtful about it
Rocky: okay so use the other standard pronouns
Grace: she/her?
Rocky: yeah
Grace: okay but that feels weird too
Rocky: why weird question
Grace:
Grace, later, lying awake: I never considered that Rocky might wanna be a she... Am I a bad person?
Rocky: Grace mix it up suggestion
Grace: I guess I could
Rocky: Rocky he/she/they/it
Grace: I don't know if you can use it
Rocky: why not question
Grace: it's just considered dehumanising?
Rocky:
Rocky, being a little shit: I choose it/its
Rocky: this conversation boring, let's go back to Grace tones
Grace: okay so you won't pick a pronoun but I have to pick a tonal inflection?
Rocky: my thing more important statement
Grace: okay fine can't you just your tones for me?
Rocky: but Grace not qualified engineer
Grace: well is there a schoolteacher tone?
Rocky: uhh no
Rocky: schoolteacher not
Rocky: schoolteacher not prestige profession statement
Grace:
Grace: WOW.
Grace: is there not like a default tone to use when you don't know all this stuff about a person?
Rocky: yes but very rude to use for close friend statement
Grace: wait hold up 🤔 you think of me as a close friend?
Rocky: yes maybe Grace shut up now
Captain Done™
something something the poetry of science etc
woah
yeah
I needed to know this.
spiritual successor to my email post
ok this too
Also, on the topic of Mass Effect, it's weird that they narrow things down to "Organics versus Synthetics" when the obvious broader talking point is parent and child societies.
Like. Yes, a full third of the game is dedicated to deciding the fate of the Quarian and Geth conflict. The Quarians created the Geth, the Geth rebelled against Quarian control, and Shepard must decide the outcome of their conflict.
You know what else a third of the game deals with? The Salarians and the Krogan. Like the Quarians, the Salarians too had "created" the Krogan when they gave advanced technology to a low-tech society and brought them into the stars. And they too got scared and sought to destroy what they had made once the Krogan rebelled against their control.
And then another third is about uncovering the relationship between the Asari and their creators, the Protheans.
The whole fucking game is about civilizations birthed from other civilizations and the relationships thereof. And only one section of it directly involves synthetic life.
There's something really interesting in that concept. It's easy to imagine a version of Mass Effect where the Reapers both originate and end the cycles.
That they were made long ago, and they like the Geth rebelled against their creators' systems of control.
That the Reapers seed worlds with life, helping it flourish, watching it evolve, and then retreat into deep space to watch their societies grow.
But as a society advances, the Reapers grow scared. They fear its advancement, that it will become too smart, too aware. That it will ultimately rebel against them as they rebelled against their own makes. And so when a society gets too advanced, they return and snuff it out.
Only to be driven to create once more.
It's an idea of the Reapers not as the synthetics in an "Organics and synthetics must hate each other" equation but rather as the creators. That they are the Quarians to our Geth. And through navigating these three chapters, Shepard can prove that there can be a better way.
I feel like that would have been a more effective way of handling what Mass Effect 3 was trying to say.
Sacred image
Look a this photograph
Based on a true story, someday
on the trip back to Erid, Grace decides to properly record Rocky's language because he doesnt want to be limited to simple language. he modifies the computer to be able to capture the many tones that his human ear cant hear, and he notices that Rocky is fawning over him alot in a very high frequency. (i imagine eridians use different frequencies for different people/tones, like more complicated radio waves?)
He asks Rocky about this and Rocky admits he sometimes instinctively speaks to him that way because how clumsy and stupid(sleepy) Grace is + Grace being the literal age of a toddler eridian. That high frequency is specifically for baby eridians. Grace doesnt mind because he cant hear it and he fawns over Rocky sometimes too.
Grace still adds a small window on his computer that translates those frequencies and when hes half asleep and dumb he reads a really soft message from Rocky cooing over him and convinving him to sleep and calling him a soft pebble. Grace's falls asleep pretty quick with a warm heart over his best friends love for him coming from all frequencies. Next morning he finds the window displaying an untranslatable lullably that Rocky sang all night.
that's really cute!
“scientists don’t want you know” is a phrase that always cracks me up because if you actually meet a scientist they will be shaking and crying like an overstimulated chihuahua with the need to let you know
Yearning for what you can never have is beginner level. Real yearners know the good shit is what you could freely have if you allowed yourself to, but never will.
old man hitting the town