Hi I’m Liz :) I was put on this earth to write Polytrix angst and by god am I going to do it PFP is by my pal in crime @eldergoblin :) https://archiveofourown.org/users/riverdalenerdlol/pseuds/yeah-thats-right
(pull me up from down below, ‘cause I’m) underneath the undertow
yeah-thats-right
Chapter Eleven: I need you now, I need you most
Rumi’s scars begin to heal
Sometimes Rumi wonders if Zoey and Mira’s love is misplaced, meant for someone else. Not like anyone else would be the object of their affections, but like they see someone else when they look at her - a version of herself that’s capable of being loved, that deserves their love.
Rumi doesn’t want to feel like she doesn’t deserve their love anymore - it’s the opposite. She wants to deserve it, but even more so—
Rumi wants. For the first time in her life she feels like she’s allowed to want.
And all she wants is Mira and Zoey’s love. She wants them.
what they don’t tell you about being a writer is that returning to a long fic you haven’t touched in a while means rereading 50k words first because you don’t actually remember your own fics that well
fucking hate it when the stuff everybody says "actually works" does actually work.
hate exercising and realizing i've let go of a lot of anxiety and anger because i've overturned my fight-or-flight response.
hate eating right and eating enough and eating 3 times a day and realizing i'm less anxious and i have more energy
hate journaling in my stupid notebook with my stupid bic ballpoint and realizing that i've actually started healing about something once i'm able to externalize it
hate forgiving myself hate complimenting myself more often hate treating myself with kindness hate taking a gratitude inventory hate having patience hate talking to myself gently
hate turning my little face up to the sun and taking deep breaths and looking at nature and grounding myself and realizing that i feel less burdened and more hopeful, more actually-here, that i am able to see the good sides of myself more clearly, that i am able to see not only how far i have to grow - but also how much growth i have already done & how much of my life i truly fill with light and laughter and love
horrible horrible horrible. hate it but i'm gonna do it tho
Amazing fics by amazing writers and friends. Thanking everyone who made Gremy Day great! I love yall!!
Switch Up These Vibes by Kinnikinnick
Crack fic turned legit, all three Huntrix swap bodies during a mission. Early reveal fic, overcoming all that comes with that as well as trying to get back in their bodies. Such a good story, and there are so many funny moments woven in!
@fox-plum
r/hanahaki - I (F23) am in love with my best friends KM (F23) and CZ (F22) and they are dating each other by soroboros
Told entirely through reddit posts and comments, we watch Rumi's experience of realizing she is in love with her roommates/best friends. Develops Hanahaki Disease, but doesn't want to confess in fear of rejection and fear of tearing the others relationship apart.
@yo-soroboros
The Void and The Oblivious by Braingoesbrrr
On her way home, Rumi finds an abandoned kitten. She takes it home to her girlfriends.
Devils Don't Fly by Ollie Seastone
Where Gwi-mas chosen favorites are granted wings, Rumi is horrified as one day she finds she has some. Not wanting Celine to see and deem her too demonic, she cuts them off. But they keep coming back. And she keeps cutting them. She can't let anyone see.
@ollieseastone
if i was easy to kill, you would have done it already by ramblingArachnid
A fic studying Mira, but through her fascination of spiders. Starting from childhood and through the formation of Huntrix.
That wasn’t entirely strange; people didn’t really text him that often. But after the flurry of activity last night from Rumi and him helping to calm her down so she could sleep at least a little bit—and then finding out that Zoey hadn’t been home until this morning—he had begged Abby to take his shift so that he could rush over to the house.
Jinu
omw
Rumi 💜
See you soon.
The traffic was absolutely brutal. Jinu tapped his fingers against the wheel, considered just what he was walking into. Rumi had gone from panicked the night before, to relief at Zoey being home, to apathetic in the past couple hours. He hadn’t seen Rumi like this since—well, since she had started dating his sister.
And speaking of Zoey, Jinu was going to have words for her. Not judgment, necessarily—he still didn’t have the full story—but he knew Rumi well enough to know that she would be shutting down right about now and definitely wouldn’t tell Zoey everything she was feeling. And Zoey didn’t seem to be doing so hot either, if the lack of texts in their thread was anything to go by. So it was up to Big Brother Supreme to do some big brotherly comforting and, if needed, knock some sense into his sister. And perhaps his ex. She needed to get into therapy, no matter what she said.
Oh thank God, the traffic was finally moving. He only lived like twenty minutes from their apartment but his GPS had said about thirty. Fuck, he hated California traffic. He needed to be there now. He thought about Rumi, probably withdrawing within herself as she dealt with the aftermath of… whatever had gone down between her and Zoey and Sae-hee and Richard. And Zoey, definitely recovering from an… exciting night out and also dealing with emotional fallout from both of her girlfriends. Jinu didn’t really know what he was going to do, but he could at least be there for them.
The knock against the door sounded like a death knell, and Jinu tried not to read too hard into that. The wait for whoever was going to come to the door felt like an eternity, and gave Jinu way too much time to think. He remembered the last time that Rumi had been this panicked. She had asked him to talk over text—very strange for her—and then as soon as Jinu had sprinted home from hanging out with his friends, he had found Rumi bundled up in blankets and sweatpants and a hoodie, tears staining her eyes and her cheeks. She’d been so worried about losing him, about losing Zoey by coming out. And of course she hadn’t, but it had been a long, tear-stained conversation. And Jinu was worried he was about to walk into another one.
He was just about to spiral into another memory of worry—this time about when he’d taken Zoey to the hospital after a rather nasty fight at the skate park—when Rumi opened the door.
Her shoulders were hunched to her ears, spine bowed, hand trembling against the corner of the door. Her gaze was directed downward, first at the floor, and then—when she realized she should probably look at Jiny, most likely—stared at the zipper on his jacket.
Jinu’s arms twitched towards her, not touching—not yet—but still wanting to comfort her. He hadn’t seen Rumi this broken, this hollow for at least a year. Zoey had some things to answer for. But first:
“Rumi, hey.” Keep it normal, check in, make sure you don’t need to call the cops. “I came over as soon as I could. Is Zoey okay. Are you okay?”
Rumi still didn’t look up, but if it was even possible, her shoulders hunched more, bending inwards, hand on the door wrapping around her stomach protectively. “Hi. She’s um… She’s fine. She’s asleep… I… um…”
Jinu’s eyes narrowed. Rumi normally couldn’t shut up about Zoey. This, combined with the body language and the series of texts still haunting his phone, changed his whole plan. Rumi needed him, right now.
“She… she—” Rumi stuttered, voice cracking slightly—maybe more than slightly—and Jinu can’t hold back anymore. One hand rested over Rumi’s shoulder and the other came up to her cheek, thumb brushing against the swell of skin over bone there. It was a familiar hold, and one that Rumi accepted with grace. This was his friend and someone that he would always look out for.
“Hey,” he whispered, voice dropping low in comfort. “Hey, come here.”
Rumi’s hands dipped under his arms, pressing lightly against his back as he cradled her head and upper back. Even if she didn’t—couldn’t—relax into the hug, he would make sure that she knew that he was in her corner, just as much as he was in Zoey’s.
Her whole body was trembling now, trying to keep back the tears that he knew she was bottling up—had probably been bottling up since last night. Her hands shook worse than her torso and Jinu just let her. She had been trying to stabilize herself all day, all of last night for Sae-hee, for Zoey, hell, probably even for herself—but she needed to fall apart.
“It’s okay. You’re okay,” he murmured, head pressed against hers.
He felt her hands clench in his jacket before he heard the sobs wracking her body, before she pressed closer to him, before he felt the tears wetting his shoulder. But he didn’t need any of that to know to pull Rumi closer, to let her break down with someone that was safe for her right now. He didn’t need words anymore, and neither did she. They’d passed that marker a few seconds ago, as Rumi’s hands scrabbled at his back for purchase, grounding herself where she felt unmoored. Her sobs wrenched at Jinu’s chest, at knowing that the person who was always there for her—Zoey—couldn’t be, not in this moment, not while it seemed like everything was falling apart.
But Jinu could worry about Zoey later. Right now, he just needed to hold Rumi while she cried.
