My OFMD fic list
Series:
how the west was won and where it got us (a.k.a. the revenge ranch) - ongoing modern AU set at a horse ranch/B&B in rural New Mexico with mostly the whole crew; mainly switching between Oluwande and Jim POV with one-offs for other folks in between. Slice of life stuff, some hurt/comfort, some fluff, one soft smutty story. 21 entries and counting, >150k words(!)
Kitchen Mistakes & How To Avoid Them - 14 chapters/87k words, also known as the "test kitchen AU." Ed/Stede enemies-ish-to-lovers focus with several other pairs/trios featuring. M rated for a little spice. Main work complete as of April 3, 2023. Now a series with one-shots!
We're Gonna Live In The Trees - modern AU in which Stede's a custom treehouse builder in a failing marriage and Ed's a new client who makes him surprisingly flustered. The closest I've gotten to a nice, cozy romance with minimal angst (like, there's SOME angst). 6 chapters, 35k words, complete as of June 16, 2023. There's also a podfic (linked in the notes)! Sequel Rock On To The Oceanside started July 25!
Multichapter fics (all pairings):
Pro Se - 16.7k, rated M, written in collaboration with artist Samm for 2025 RBB. Grad school AU, T4T Ed/Stede meetcute, focus on Stede and Mary's evolving friendship once they arrive at grad school. THE ART IS SO GOOD!! Podfic available.
the unauthorized biography of ed & stede - in which i work against all my writerly instincts and attempt angst, smut, and messy messy shit for fun. complete with 11 chapters/62.7k words. Podfic available.
like a song with no end - 12.3k, rated E, Jim/fem!Olu-centric modern AU where they're 40-something musicians in an established relationship, cozy slice of life stuff, also commissioned ART!
the secret middle-aged sad-sack mostly bad vibes I can sing along to playlist - ongoing wip with daily-ish short updates, modern au in which stede gets all my problems, slow fucking burn, baby, rated M. actual playlists and a podfic linked in notes. 60k as of 4/18 and on hiatus.
traitorous hearts - 9.7k, rated E, Ed/Stede, The Traitors AU. Ed and Stede are the Traitors, that's it, that's the fic.
Gutterballs For Days - The Big Lebowski AU with a twist. Collaboration with ophelia5wims and art by sonorawent! Rated M, 4 chapters/22k complete as of May 10, 2024!
the way things are going - tealoranges t4t climate apocalypse story extremely loosely inspired by parable of the sower. Complete at 50k words/9 chapters as of March 14, 2024.
all that i need is you and the sea - the accidental time travel amnesiac five-part Stede/Ed love story I somehow cranked out over five days. Starts in a post-apocalyptic future and goes way, way back. Rated T, 14k.
Ask Me Anything: A TealOranges SMAU - collaboration with thetragicallynerdy. Correspondence across time and death via Tumblr asks. Rated E for sex and violence, 56k words, complete as of July 4, 2023!
Disruptors - a modern AU/social media AU told over a series of tweets. In this, Ed is a tech CEO and Stede is a small business owner in Silicon Valley. Complete on Sept. 15, 2022.
Gentlebeard one-shots:
in a cosmic dress - 2024 Reverse Bang entry based on a gorgeously moody piece of artwork by zaletwisted on twitter. Ed Teach character study in three timelines, all vibes little plot, 9k, rated M.
i'm a cloud now - 4.1k, rated E, Ed/Stede, first person POV. Weird ambient afterlife/immortals AU with ambiguous ending.
with great power comes - 4.5k, rated E, Ed/Stede, superpower AU, tentacle smut.
an atypical emotional response to common sounds - 6.6k oneshot i dubbed "the misophonia fic." Also my first (maybe only) foray into writing Stede/Ed smut. Also a T-rated sequel due to a controllable irregularity (5k). Podfics available.
make eye contact and i'm smiling - 5k/Gen, rated T. Ed/Stede but not really romantic; Ed's an alien posing as a cat that Stede adopts. Observations on humanity with some neurodivergent feels. Podfic available.
sounds like a date! - 1.8k, rated T. Ed/Stede mutual pining on a ferris wheel. Written for a Gotcha for Gaza prompt; podfic available.
new best friend - 2.8k, gen/T. Ed is a park ranger who rescues an abandoned rabbit. He gets some advice from rabbit rescuer Stede. Inspired by art!
who needs labels? - 2.5k, rated T. Ed tries to help Stede find a label for his sexuality while Stede plays with his hair. Happy Pride!
what happens at warp 10, stays at warp 10 - 1.5k, rated T (but see related works for a smut scene by ghostalservice) - Star Trek: Voyager AU, specifically the Threshold episode, in which Stede is Tom Paris and Ed is Captain Janeway.
Welcome to Jeff’s Inn by the Sea | Innkeeper Roleplay ASMR | Personal Attention | Realistic | Soft Spoken Male Voice - 4.2k, rated M, Ed/Stede idiots in love/accidental sex tape (fade to black)
Plus Ones - office party mutual pining (Ed/Stede)/fake dating (Stede & Archie) shenanigans, rated T, 3k words.
Stede has started shopping for your order - 2.2k oneshot for the prompt "gig worker." A sweet lil' cupcake from me to u. Podfic available.
Other ships one-shots:
two drink minimum - 3.6k, rated M, Jim/Zheng modern AU, messy polycule negotiations ... as part of a comedy show!
nothing to fear & nothing to doubt - 4.5k, rated T, Wee John/Frenchie. Surreal post-apocalyptic mystery written for AU-gust prompts.
hope let something slip out - 5.9k, rated E, Jim/Oluwande/Archie cosmic horror tentacle situation with so much gender. Baby's first monsterfucking pwp!
I Think I See The Light - 5.6k oneshot attempt to merge a very canon-divergent Jim/Oluwande love story and Jim's vengeance plot with Harold & Maude.
in a time trap- not exactly a fix-it time loop one-shot, starting from where Chauncey wakes Stede up with a gun in his face.
heading vaguely eastward - the first (and maybe only) Mary/Jim fic on AO3. Nudged myself into an Explicit rating here. One-shot modern AU with flirting, banter, etc.
let's pretend we're bunny rabbits- short one-shot in which Ed and Stede are literally pet rabbits (Izzy's and Lucius's, respectively).
a silver vision convalesced my soul- one-shot based on a prompt for guardian angel AU, hurt/comfort, and the sentence "do you really believe that?" featuring Jim and Oluwande.
Not [originally] on AO3:
oceanographer's choice (frenchie/oluwande fastfic one-shot based on a random au prompt)
AITA for trying to stop my boss from ruining his life? (izzy hands fake reddit post w/ comments)





















