one in a million

Make like a drum n' beat it. [affiliated with national park]

[yetanothergrunt-blog]

starter call

This is Knuckles, and I'm back I been away for a while But I'm back to kick some butt at Wild Canyon National Park

some of u might remember me from episodes like This Time Last Year, When I Bailed Because I Had To Cram Statistics For Two Months and Secure a Work Term™ but anyway that’s over now and i’m thirsty for threads again 

so like upon this status if you want me to manifest in your house physically and start pestering u about rp

[yetanothergrunt-blog]

if it bleeds it leads [barker&gabby]

@ordellias

Stocking the rollers was such a pain in the ass.

Not that such a tedious task was particularly hard, but, well, when one wasn’t very tall, hoisting up the boxes to the upper shelves was a bit of a task. It was a quiet day and loading them up ahead of time meant he didn’t have to check them for a while, at least, but shit like potions and revives were a lot heavier in bulk than most people seemed to appreciate.

 But then the door jingled. That either meant that it was staff, and he wasn’t the only one in the store any more, or they had a customer and the till was empty. Upon not hearing any sort of greeting that usually came along with customer entry, it seemed like it’d be in his best interest to check. He’d closed the fridge and moved up towards the front, brushing the excess dust off his apron as he did so.

“Welcome t’Pokemart, how can I--”

He cut himself off as the woman who’d just entered actually came into his line of vision. She was too overdressed for the average trainer, but he didn’t recognize her as being one of the leaders around these parts. He’d been about to chalk her up as a coordinator until his attention fell to the notebook in her hand and the camera at her back. Press? But why would...

Oh. Shit, right. Barker cleared his throat. 

“...Sorry, the promotion with Arcade Star Dahlia ain’t till tomorrow, if that’s what y’in for.”

Resisting the urge to chew at the inside of his cheek, he moved to stand behind the cash register (why in the fuck wasn’t Harvey back from lunch yet, that was his post, uuugghhhh ) in preparation for any potential purchases this misinformed media might have wished to make before they were on their way again. 

“Intern in the ivory tower made a mistake on the release, ‘parently. Y’d probably know more ‘bout that sort of stuff than I would.”

[yetanothergrunt-blog]

ｒ　ｉ　ｓ　ｅ

[throwawaygrunt-blog]

Gruntrustworthy // Barker & Leilani

[throwawaygrunt-blog]

Barker’s reluctance to cooperate was annoying the hell out of Leilani. What did she ever do to this weirdo? Maybe he was just the kind of person who was naturally bitter. Like chicory. Fuck chicory, though. And fuck this asshole while we’re at it, Leilani thought.

But a part of Leilani believed that no one was bitter by nature. Thus, she resisted knocking Barker out of the tree for a little longer while Barker stared his Zubat in the eyes. Not that Zubat had any eyes, but it seemed to know where its Trainer’s face was anyway. It was almost endearing, but something about it made Leilani feel uneasy. Maybe it was because he failed to noticed her yelling when a Sewaddle was swinging dangerously close to his face.

Suddenly, Barker snapped out of it, launching himself back upon noticing the Sewaddle. His unpredictable movement startled Leilani so badly that she almost lost her balance and fell off the branch, but she managed. Finally, those ballet lessons back home paid off.

A fierce Air Cutter sent their six-legged adversary plummeting down, but the other Sewaddle kept climbing. Team Aqua Grunts also often used Zubat, but Leilani did not have one, something that she regretted a little at the moment. Maybe she’d ask Archie or Matt about it. She ignored Barker for a second to think of a way she could scare off the Sewaddle, but she couldn’t think of anything. Unless…

“Okay, Bubbleglum. First of all, you okay? My words gettin’ through to you ‘n shit? Those little fuckers aren’t gone just yet, but I got a plan.” Leilani reached for her Poké Balls. She grabbed her Wailmer’s Poké Ball and tried to hide her giddiness. She failed miserably.

“Nobunaga, you’re up!” Whoops, slip of the tongue. Oh well. She threw the ball in the air, sending out the Pokémon, which immediately dropped to the ground and bounced around before coming to a halt. It caught the Sewaddle’s attention, but only for a little while. Confused, Leilani’s Wailmer looked up, wondering why its Trainer had called it out in the forest. Leilani turned back to Barker and grabbed his wrist.

“Alright, listen up. Here’s the plan. We can’t beat those bugs from where we are now, although your Zubat did a pretty kickass job at fucking up that li’l shit just now. So props to your badass little bat. Anyway, I suggest we fuckin’ run for it. On the count of three, we jump, and my Wailmer will ensure a soft landing. Pretty easy, you sea? See, I mean.”

She gazed down at her Wailmer, asking it to properly catch the two of them. Her being Leilani and all, she did not wait for Barker’s response.

“Three.”

She jumped, dragging Barker down with her and landed right onto the poor Wailmer below. While her plan was okay in theory, Leilani had not considered how bouncy her Wailmer was. As a result, the uncanny duo (and the Zubat) bounced right off, into the nearby thicket. Majestic.

[yetanothergrunt-blog]

...Did she just ask if he was okay? Barker quirked an eyebrow. After all that...? Well, he did check out in a time of scrutiny, but... well, for someone who was talking about sacrificing him a few minutes ago, it didn’t really make much sense. 

“...Okay. I’m good. Just... got distracted.”

Understatement of the year. Still, considering possible reasons while he was waiting for her to explain herself did well enough to distract him from the previous pit he’d dug himself into. Maybe she was one of the ‘hot and cold’ sorts? Or perhaps she was just stupid. Or maybe he was. 

Granted, this had all started because she had tried to mug him and now they were in a tree screaming about perfectly defeatable bugs they should have expected to be there to begin with, so the correct response was both of them. They were both absolute idiots and that tidbit of self awareness wasn’t worth dwelling on when she was already calling out another Pokemon. 

He’d half a mind to think he missed something as ‘Nobunaga’ emerged and she snatched his wrist, but it was only after a lingering moment of confusion that the water type seemed to share that she actually bothered to explain herself.

 “Okay, wait, hold on, lemme get this straight. You’re-- ”

Ultimately, he ended up cutting himself off with a strangled whuh?! that sounded more like a bark than a cry of surprise as the nutball of a pirate launched them both out of the branches and onto her Pokemon. He couldn’t have said if the impact had damaged it at all, but he had called an apology to it by name anyway before covering his face with an arm as they bounced off its surface and into the brush. Cupcake had swooped after them, calling after the humans in concern.

Having long since gotten used to being thrown around, Barker made a quick recovery from the landing; the surface wasn’t particularly hard, and within a few split seconds, both of them were back on their feet. The Sewaddle would probably take longer to get down than they would to get up, at least; if they’d seen where they’d fallen in the first place, it would probably still take a moment for the smaller, untrained Pokemon to get their bearings.

“...Well played, Stripes. sniiiiff.”

Provided she hadn’t intended to run off the moment she was up, Baker turned towards Leilani and gestured towards the Wailmer they’d landed on.

“You, euh, might want to call back your friend there. Leavin’ ‘im to roll after us would prolly just piss off more of th’ wilds here, m’sure.”

[throwawaygrunt-blog]

Gruntrustworthy // Barker & Leilani

[throwawaygrunt-blog]

“You gotta be the sacrifice because I am a beautiful young woman and you’re…” She gestured vaguely to him, as if to imply that there was so much Barker didn’t have going for him that listing it would be a waste of time. She still wondered why exactly he was here, but those were questions for later. He could answer them while he was stuck in a choke hold.

Leilani suppressed her nausea and looked down again. “A branch, huh? Better plan. Have that li’l bat of yours use Supersonic on ‘em like you did with my dear, sweet, precious Jea– I mean, Mightyena. When they retreat, we dash out of this tree like our goddamn asses are on fire.”

“And no complaining. I ain’t got jack shit on me that can take those fuckers out, if the nautical getup didn’t give it away.” She tried to look as hard-boiled as she could, but she felt her stomach turn. I HATE THE FOREST I HATE THE FOREST I HATE THE FOREST was all that was going through her head.

“Ohhh, fuck,” she said, looking down again. Those little pests knew String Shots, allowing them a rapid ascent. She quickly turned back to Barker. “Listen you enigmatic sunovabeach, you better do something before I yak on you and/or push you out of this damn tree.”

[yetanothergrunt-blog]

As she gave her reasoning, Barker’s eyes nearly rolled into the back of his skull. Her modesty and “honest” appraisal of his personal worth was so charming. The idea of just jumping out of the tree and sacrifice himself to save not her but his waning patience and what remained of his sanity was almost tempting.

But he still had his pride and a desire not to die from his embarrassing pollen allergies, so when she shot down his plan in favour of her own, it was all he could do but stubbornly sit there and scoff.

“That would work if there was only one of them, but this-- sniff-- is a horde, dumbass. The point of focus would be off and none of ‘em would get confused.”

As she swore, he followed her gaze, gritting his teeth. Why did he have to be the one to do something? Still, she had a point, he supposed - he did have a Pokemon with a type advantage, and he wasn’t in a position to run or talk his way out of this one. 

“Zubat, I....”

The name was wrong in his mouth, but the sheer thought of actually giving the order brought a chill over him and made the words die on his tongue. 

“I’m going to need you to....”

When he looked down to face the Pokemon against his chest, he was met with the smile of not the tiny, timid bat, but an old friend whose wounds left blood on his frozen fingers, and, though the threat that had put them in this position had lied collapsed at his feet, he had lost the rest of his medical supplies in the avalanche that had taken Henri. They’d both known he wasn’t long for this world but--

A Sewaddle, dangling from a silk-spun thread, flew up from the forest floor and bobbed a few feet from his face.

“gYAAAAHHH!”

Barker shot back against the trunk, gloved fingers digging into the bark as, in some haphazard rush to defend his terrified master, Cupcake screeched and shot forward with a savage Air Cutter that ripped through the strong shot, the allergy-inducing Pokemon and a good chunk of the branches and leaves they’d concealed themselves in. The immediate threat out of the way, the former Rocket grunt was left to stare blankly out at the open sky as he came back out of his trance.

It was a nice day. The sun was warm against his arms. He heaved a small sigh, recalling the situation he was in. 

A sheepish question came to mind.

“.... Erm... Are they gone now?”

[yetanothergrunt-blog]

up in flames [ barker + skye ]

[trailblazingcatalyst-blog]

Adult decision? Yeah, no, that was not a decision an adult would make. Maybe someone with a death wish, but no sane adult would dare risk getting trapped within a burning building. Skye yelped as the other pushed her towards the door, and she screamed when the boards came crashing down. Her eyebrow twitched, and she turned to glare at Barker.

“… Did you just try to SHOVE ME UNDER THE BOARDS?!” She screamed again, grabbing him and shaking him by the shoulders. “Dummy! Now we have to get outta here! You shouldn’t have even been in here in the first place! No one with a brain would risk their lives for… FOR FOOD!” She was slightly panicking now, and the reality started to hit her. “If you help me get out, I’ll buy you some, okay?! Don’t go stealing shit!”

Her Piplup stared at the burning boards, staying close to Skye. The boards were covering the main exit, but there had to be some sort of fire escape, right? Skye scanned the room, coughing slightly as smoke began to build. “O-Odin! P-Put out some of the fire!” She coughed, and the Pokemon started to Water-Gun most everything within sight. With only one Pokemon, however, the fire built right back up, and Skye went and hopped into a stall, trying to find pitchers and sinks.

“C’mon! Help!”

[yetanothergrunt-blog]

As the kid started screeching and shaking him, he half wished that he had intended to shove her under. Still, this was a stressful situation for anyone who hadn’t had death stare them in the face before. He groaned, deciding to let the matter go. Seemed if it wasn’t the cold scorching him, it’d be the heat. 

The smoke, however, brought him back into reality, and soon he was ducking his head and utilizing his cap to cover his mouth and nose. The girl retreated into one of the kitchens, demanding he help. Looking between her and the water type fruitlessly wasting its energy without any real focus point, he groaned.

“Hey idiot, if one Pokemon can’t put it out, then--”

Wait, the kitchen. That’s it!

Making his way swiftly over, Barker hurriedly lept over the counter and searched not the cupboards, but the walls, eventually laying eyes on what he’d been seeking - a window. It was a smaller one, likely intended for letting out smoke whenever something in the kitchen burned in an ordinary situation..But thankfully, his companion was a kid and he was... er,somewhat vertically challenged. 

Climbing atop the counter below it and deftly undoing the latch, it took some fighting to get the screen off but eventually a fist through it and enough shaking left them with an uncovered, but small window. Ducking away from the smoke that had started to escape to catch a quick breath, he turned back to where the younger trainer was looking for water pitchers and snapped towards her.

“Call back your pea shooter, girlie. We’re squeezing through here ‘fore the rest of this place comes down on our heads.”

This was probably risky and entirely stupid, but they sure as fuck weren’t going to make any headway if they dawdled with the pile at the entrance.

[unsunkentreasure]

“Stop throwing tomatoes everywhere! What did they ever do to you?”

[yetanothergrunt-blog]

[yetanothergrunt-blog]

HEY ROCKET NERD. THINK FAST 🍅🍅🍅

and within that moment, taking yoga in the break room with the female Rockets during lunch seemed more like a practical decision instead of just something one did to keep one’s muscles from seizing up on slow days.

“Is this a holiday for you twerps or somethin’? Why tomatoes?”

[yetanothergrunt-blog]

🍅

alas, it would seem that Rocket pride would once again be its own undoing as the grunt once again got owned by Yet Another Kid at the height of his victory.

some things never change.

[yetanothergrunt-blog]

the angry children approach, thirsty for revenge against him and his kind

but he is ready.

In an impressive display of dexterity, Barker dips and dives about, making an effort not to dodge the tomatoes, but catch them in the bucket he had previously filled with tomatoes to throw at Skye. Of the 13 thrown, he catches 11 of them, with the other two flying out to hit a few unfortunate bystanders behind him. In some sort of strange victory celebration, he hoists the full bucket over his head and does a little dance before sticking out his tongue at the two teens.

“Thanks for dinner, chumps!”

He then scurries away. What a strange man.

[yetanothergrunt-blog]

Think fast! 🍅

“Think fa--?!”

Oh. That explained it. His hand was, fortunately, in the correct position to catch the rogue fruit... vegetable... whatever it was that Dragonair had pelted his face with before it hit the ground. Blinking a moment as the initial surprise wore off, he licked his lips and, upon assessing that the produce in question wasn’t rotted through, raised the half-smashed tomato towards Clair in the way one might toast a wine glass.

“Thanks f’the snack, Blue.”

He then proceeded to... eat the face-tomato. Beggars can’t really be choosers, right?

[rpmemes-galore]

Send me 🍅 for my muse’s reaction to yours flinging a tomato at them

[throwawaygrunt-blog]

Gruntrustworthy // Barker & Leilani

[throwawaygrunt-blog]

Leilani failed to notice Barker’s futile attempts to throw things at her. For a split second, she’d forgotten about him completely. She didn’t actually recognize what the Sewaddle were, but anything that crawled was usually bad news.

She also ignored most of Barker’s comments, only focusing on getting further away from those disgusting bugs. She’d sock him in the face some other time. Then she’d probably spit on it, which was not as unsanitary as a sneeze, but it did the trick.

Only when her now secondary adversary had called her “Stripes” did she finally notice. Fancy meeting him here. She glared at him, immediately reaching for one of her Poké Balls. If she released her Corsola above his head, surely… But Corsola wasn’t with her, and even if it was, Grass-type attacks would immediately take it out.

“Shut yer trap, Bubbleglum. I’m allergic to Bug-types, a’ight? One bite and I’ll…” She shuddered at the thought, which was quickly interrupted by Barker’s brilliant comment. Yes, they were, indeed, bugs. And also shit.

“What’s d’matter with you, then? Oh! I get it! Yer no good with Grass types, huh? Huh? I’m right, ain’t I! I’m right!” Leilani’s victory was short-lived, as when she looked down, she got nauseous. Vertigo on one side, Bug-type induced rash on the other. Plus, Sneezy from Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs was her sole companion. Fuckin’ great.

“What now, you ask? Well, I could throw you down to the bugs as bait and then flee myself. However, knowing my own piss-poor luck, I’d probably fall down too in the struggle. So I’ve got two options here. One, I politely ask you to sacrifice yourself and you comply. Two, I use my brain and you use whatever it is you’ve got in that head of yours, and we try to think of somefin. Sound good?”

[yetanothergrunt-blog]

Did she just call him Bubbleglum?

He didn’t dignify her victory with much more than an irritated, incomprehensible grumble, but the confirmation was more than enough when his eyes started to get irritable and watery again. Instinctively, he reached up to wipe them, scowl returning to its rightful place across his miserable mug.

“...Why do I gotta be the sacrifice, uh? I get sneezy n’ shit from just be-be--bbbAACHOO!--... in the same area. sniff, All you gotta do is not get bit.”

He hadn’t entirely expected an answer to that, although he was sure he’d get some smarmy nonsense about how she was objectively the more valuable person here in response. He wasn’t quite in a mood or mindset to argue the matter... or even really think of much, in all honesty. Scrubbing at his eyes again, he turned what was left of his vision through his allergy-induced teary eyes downward. They... were getting closing in on the trunk now, and doubtlessly had the ability to climb it.

“... They’re so small. Can’t we just--sniiiiff-- drop a branch n’ crush ‘em or somethin’?”

Or at the very least, swipe them away and buy them more time. Pokemon were resilient, after all, and bug types were especially untroubled by grass type attacks.

[yetanothergrunt-blog]

Them? Who's them and why were they chasing you?

“…My parents.”

He flushes a bit at this.

“… Look, I know it sounds stupid and all, but if you’ve met my family, literally everyone goes into medicine. Everyone. You then proceed to be a Doctor or Nurse specializing in Pokemon healing for the rest of your entire life whether you want to or not. Can’t have a center without a Joy, they say.”

He pauses, rubbing at his chin.

“… So I cut ties and tried to make like I was dead to ‘em. It took nearly dying myself and costed me everything important, but it was the only way I could make them leave me alone.”

[yetanothergrunt-blog]

Okay, okay, bad choice of words on my part. I meant "Stripes", you dolt. We want the dirt on that Aqua Grunt. Or are we "barking" up the wrong "tree"? See what I did there?

“... Girlie, is that you? Are you trying to find crap to write about again?”

He sighs.

“But Stripes, eh?... I mean, she tried to mug me, but I guess she was just doing her job. And I did sneeze on her n’ all, so I don’t blame ‘er for bein’ pissed off at me at all. You think she’d feel some sympathy on bein’ stuck in a forest fulla what you’re allergic to, though...

... Anyhoo, I also don’t know jack about her. I hope she has more shirts than the one she’s wearing, tho’. Her tum’s going to get cold if she’s running around in that during the evenings. Do they have pirate-brand sweaters?”

[yetanothergrunt-blog]

Why does Pokemon battling make you feel guilty? What did you do?

“I....”

He looks reluctant and doesn’t bother to face you while he’s speaking, but keeps talking anyway. 

“....I got all of my Pokemon killed. We were in the mountains --  but it was a hard winter and I’d destroyed their Pokeballs because I didn’t want them to find me and... I lost them. One by one. They only wanted to protect me, to do what I wanted, and... I didn’t want them to be taken from me. I was selfish. So selfish.”

He clears his throat, staring at the floor.

“I can’t ask my Pokemon to fight alone on my behalf any more.”

[yetanothergrunt-blog]

Give us the dirt on your fellow grunt. All of the dirt. All of it. This is not being saved for blackmailing purposes. That last statement was a lie, but you are free to believe it.

“Shit, what grunt? In Rocket? There’s thousands of them... I mean, I guess I could give you an overview of their shit. Erm... let me think.”

He clears his throat.

“He talks a big game, but Crunchy still wets the bet, I’m pretty sure. Blames other people when he does, too. Orange farted in the mess hall and blamed him and they started a fist fight until Big Red came in and broke it up by glaring at them. Most people are intimidated as fuck by Big Red, you know. Her and Mean Green definitely, not so much by Blue Angry, much as he might think. Anyway, then there’s Slime Man, who...”

He.... just keeps talking, forever. How many grunts even are there to remember in Team Rocket?