i've been watching some videos of the early parts of amphoreus' arc. and
something that actually drives me insane is the gentleness in mydei's character VS the rage in phainon's
because while they both long for different, kinder lives, mydei is still more likely to try and reason with an enemy (or to not attack them in the first place) than phainon is
this isn't to say phainon doesn't know what diplomacy is, because he does! he knows how to use words, which was literally shown to us in the game. they were pretty straight forward about it
but phainon is also such an unquestionably angry person. ever since he lost aedes elysiae and everyone inside it, he's been craving revenge. he will, of course, always decide upon the path that saves more people if given the chance. but his first reaction to many things seems to be to fight first, ask questions later — and it ties into the way he wants to make the flame reaver pay for what he did to his family and friends
it's a nice contrast to mydei's character. while phainon seems like a stable, charming individual but has more issues repressed than hairs on his head, mydei gives off the impression of a bloodthirsty barbarian who doesn't know what emotions are, and instead is a more gentle person who wishes nothing more than to end the meaningless violence that plagues his life
i think phainon probably admires — and maybe even envies — this trait of mydei's. the way he can think reasonably and restrain (lol) himself from attacking while still being so undeniably strong and willing to defend himself if needed. the way he can both cook meals for his loved ones, and with the same hands, slaughter any enemy that threatens him or his loved ones
phainon feels so much shame over how he is. he feels the need to be the perfect hero (to not want anything for himself and be the best version of the deliverer at all times), because it's what's expected of him, because cyrene wanted him to be. but he's such a flawed person, and he's still a human being. and after having watched his childhood friends turning into horrible monsters, after being forced to kill them himself...
i don't think he believes himself to be worthy of the title. not just of the deliverer, but also the one of a person. he's supposed to be an ideal, something to strive upon, not a scared little kid with a rusty sword in his hand
he's kind, nice, likeable. he knows he is. but it's not enough, to him. sometimes he feels like his kindness is too difficult for him to give
but mydei gets along with children. mydei is a good caregiver. mydei is constantly swarmed by chimeras when he visits the garden of life. kindness is easy to him. (maybe khaslana wonders why it isn't his primary module instead of restraint)
mydei attacks when necessary. mydei doesn't enjoy violence, even against titankin. mydei fights because there are people who can't. mydei is an honorable warrior, both soft and invincible. who wouldn't want to be like him?
i'm about 99% sure that, while anyone else would strive to be like phainon, phainon wants nothing more than to be more like mydei
it's also shown in the way mydei doesn't want to be Strife, but ends up becoming it, while phainon wanted to take over that responsibility (for mydei, partly), but ends up without any coreflame to call his own
ough idk they make me ill
dailybridgerton
jbbartram-illu
snowghoul
