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Evening dip
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🌟Galaxy Crocs!🌟
The facial expressions of everyone trying not to lose it are killing me
This is painfully American
Americans be like it is totally normal for an entire stadium (including military members) to stand at attention while a fast food clown mascot sings the national anthem
when we say "it is functionally impossible to parody Americans in a way that will actually insult them" this is the sort of thing you're up against. is your sick burn funnier than corporation burger clown sing national anthem baseball game? no?? of course it isn't.
Shiftshaper
Day 1 of infiltrating the crew.
One of them got too far from the group. Paralysed him and took his form.
Returned to the ship. Everyone keeps asking me where my pants are.
Day 2 of infiltrating the crew.
We have taken off. I have explained that one of the 'native lichens' made me allergic to pants. The rest of the crew seems to accept this.
Day 3 of infiltrating the crew.
I have been helping out around the ship while learning its secrets. And also trying to figure out where my quarters are supposed to be. Got it right fourth time. Managed to talk my way out of three awkward encounters.
Fourth one, not so much. I think I'm dating Crewman Eloise now.
Day 4 of infiltrating the crew.
Brought Eloise some breakfast and used my cunning skills to pump her for information.
So successful that I contrived to bring everyone else breakfast. I am a genius.
Day 5 of infiltrating the crew.
The captain keeps asking for Crewman Vitsie. They are obviously incompetent and lazy and have not responded. Captain sounds very irate. Perhaps I should find Vitsie and eat him to improve crew morale.
Day 6 of infiltrating the crew.
... I'm Crewman Vitsie. Got yelled at by the captain. Grovelled handsomely and explained that I am incompetent and lazy. I think I got away with it.
Day 7 of infiltrating the crew.
Space pirates. Why is it always space pirates?
Replicated one of them, infiltrated the ship, ate their captain. Very greasy.
Swapped back to my Vitsie disguise and pretended I snuck on board and shot the captain.
Luckily nobody asked about why I now weigh 50% more
Day 8 of infiltrating the crew.
Captain mentioned he knew I was a shiftshaper. Now hiding in an airduct. I'm not crying. That's... just... OK I might be crying. Eloise was going to put on a movie and I was really looking forward to it.
Day 9 of infiltrating the crew.
Captain has been yelling into an airvent for the last hour. They say they figured it out immediately.
Turns out Vitsie was an asshole, and they just liked me better.
NGL, feeling kind of proud.
Captain says since I saved the ship from greasy space pirates, they'll call it even if I promise not to eat any more crew.
Asked if that includes Robins from Engineering. Captains says Robins included because he's the only one who knows how to fix the toilets.
This is reasonable.
Day 10 of infiltrating the crew.
Watched "The Thing" with Eloise. Didn't sleep all night. That was terrifying!
CONTAINED
Hydreigon -- kawayoo
Appletun -- MINAMINAMI Take
New proposed nation called The Lake where summer has a daily government mandated 4 hour paid "swim break" and a winter 16 hour work week @ $40/hr
Tumblr Sexyman Contest 2026 Final Round
Senshi (Dungeon Meshi)
Ryland Grace (Project Hail Mary)
Mr. Ant Tenna (Deltarune)
Tenna art by @9Aaaalt29 on twt
“And if you’ll give me 40% of the MOST POPULAR VOTE, I’ll give you my SPECIAL REWARD... A year’s supply of NON-GLOOBY SLIME!!! Never or BARELY used!!!” Tenna concluded his speech with a huge smile, jetting his hands up in double peace signs.
The crowd roared in confused enthusiasm as Tenna gave a gracious flurry of low-FPS bows, pausing only for the occasional stink-nose at his audience plants who weren’t throwing enough 3D roses.
Eventually, the room fell silent. It was Senshi’s turn to speak.
He puffed out his chest, took a long, sweeping look over the audience… and shook his head.
“I can see not all of you are eating properly.”
The crowd murmured with embarrassment.
“I don’t know who needs to hear this, but it’s time to take the turkey out of your icebox. I have seen the ingenious technology with which your people store food... and I have also seen the waste which results from such convenience.
“The food you take had a life. Beasts grew fat on the grass of the field, plants grew from the sun’s rays, and mushrooms grew from minerals in the cracks of caves. And yet, it sits in your iceboxes, collecting moisture until it perishes.
“Eat what is given to you. Because its life will make you stronger, too.”
Without another word, Senshi left his podium and stepped away from the stage. The crowd murmured in confusion. “Is he really like that?” somebody said. “I only remember reblogging the photosets of him tripping and showing ass.”
--
Back in the Green Room, Tenna wrung his antennas nervously.
“Y-y-you think they liked me!? They HAD to!! I mean, I don’t know what Asgore was thinking, getting that weird haircut and running that food waste campaign, but… YOU thought I did good, didn’t you, Kris?”
Laios nodded aggressively, a streak of blue face paint peeling from his forehead.
“You did AMAZING, Tenna! By the way, now that we’ve seen all your insider campaign secrets, do you have any more videos of Susie? Especially her tail... If I could get a look at that, I could finally tell if she’s a dinosaur or --”
THWACK. Fake antlers butted Laios’s head.
“LAIOS?? Weren’t we dressed up to help SENSHI???” Marcille hissed, gesturing awkwardly with her hooves.
Suddenly, Tenna turned to the two adventurers.
“Hey, WAIT a second. SOMETHING’s not right here...”
Laios and Marcille held their breath.
“Where the heck are my POINTS!?”
Just then, the door opened. Chilchuck took one step into the room, whistling and holding a large bag.
Everyone turned to him.
Chilchuck paused, took a step backwards, and closed the door.
“CHILCHUCK!!!” yelled Tenna.
“How come Chilchuck got to stay Chilchuck!?” yelled Marcille at the same time.
--
Meanwhile, in outer space somewhere, some guy was making out with a rock.
TOBY FOX?????
least-useful critique has gotta be "not your best work"
my favorite thing about crocodiles is yeah they're fantastic swimmers and yeah they can run pretty fast and yeah the smaller ones can even climb trees but also. they don't wanna do any of that shit. they just go no, no thanks. that's not for me. i think i'll just wait for someone to mistake me for a log and get too close. and then i'll eat them. many reptiles love this strategy but none pull it off like the humble croc
The Amnesty International report that JK Rowling is trying to censor through legal threats.
It can also be found on Google Drive here and on Bluesky here.
Please save and share this info where possible. This report has since been removed by Amnesty International due to legal threats of libel from JK Rowling. This information is no longer easily accessible.
Tirtouga -- Gemi
Crobat -- GOSSAN