Many thoughts, head full

[clitorises]

mind if i just *sinks my teeth into your packer and shakes my head violently like a terrier snapping the spine of her quarry*

[yknowkyareth]

[escuerzoresucitado]

[ladyshinga]

chronically ill people deserve Diagnosis Parties where they get cake and stuff for finally getting some goddamn answers

[butcharium]

I AM A BIG BUTCH! I AM BIG AND FEROCIOUS AS I STOMP AROUND IN MY BIG BOOTS! I AM SOOOO SCARY!! SUCH AN INTIMIDATING BUTCH!!

[snototter]

A cougar cub (Puma concolor) in the North Carolina Zoo, USA

by ucumari photography

[littleguysdaily]

[pazzesco]

The Bearded Vulture is the only known animal whose diet is almost exclusively bone.

The bone-eating giant bird which coats itself minerals like copper to get its rusty hue for unknown cosmetic reasons, most likely to show dominance. The brighter the hue, the more dominant the male.

They probably need the copper because its anti-bacterial properties. useful if you’re a carrion eater.

The bird has a 9 ft wingspan.

Bearded Vultures provide an indispensable service to the ecosystem, checking the spread of disease by consuming corpses. But the bearded’s diet is 95 percent bone. It can wait for the other scavengers to strip the body clean, then stroll in at its leisure to take its fill.

[savaralyn2]

Dungeon Meshi - Official Wine

There's also sake for Izutsumi, even though...

[apollos-boyfriend]

having such an obvious favorite character trope is life ruining bro

[apollos-boyfriend]

i can’t say shit about liking a character that acts slightly in a very specific way without being hit with a tidal wave of “of course you would” to live is to suffer

[innalheid]

okay gamers. when there's a veggie platter in front of u what's your #1 veggie (this is not about the definition of a vegetable rn stfu) you're going for

tomato (cherry or sliced)

cucumber

celery

carrots

broccoli

cauliflower

bell peppers/capsicum or w/e Australia calls em

you forgot my fav op 😭😭

I don't like veggies in this format or at all 😔

Voting ended onMar 30, 2024

[themysteriousmurasamecastle]

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣠⣤⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣤⣄⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⣴⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣄⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⣠⣴⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣮⣵⣄⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⢾⣻⣿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢿⣿⣿⡀⠀ ⠀⠸⣽⣻⠃⣿⡿⠋⣉⠛⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣏⡟⠉⡉⢻⣿⡌⣿⣳⡥⠀ ⠀⢜⣳⡟⢸⣿⣷⣄⣠⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⣤⣠⣼⣿⣇⢸⢧⢣⠀ ⠀⠨⢳⠇⣸⣿⣿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠿⠿⠿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⡟⢆⠀ ⠀⠀⠈⠀⣾⣿⣿⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣽⣿⣿⠐⠈⠀⠀ ⠀⢀⣀⣼⣷⣭⣛⣯⡝⠿⢿⣛⣋⣤⣤⣀⣉⣛⣻⡿⢟⣵⣟⣯⣶⣿⣄⡀⠀ ⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣶⣶⣶⣾⣶⣶⣴⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢿⣿⣿⣧ ⣿⣿⣿⠿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠿⣿⡿

[yknowkyareth]

23/3/24 (For you)

So, yeah. I'm angry. At you, right now, and at myself, because what is this, if not a mess of my own making.

The thing is, I was ready. I really was. I was ready to talk. Took a bit to think that decision through.

Ate something. Took a shower. Stopped to really think on it, then went ahead.

So, yeah. I am angry. And frustrated. And at a loss.

At this point I feel like I'm writing for the sake of writing. I wanna be bitter. I want to rot on the inside. To lose the parts of me that make me myself. I want to be mean. I want to be an asshole. But that's not me. Then again, there's so little of me that remains, after this.

I'm going to take another shower.

[yknowkyareth]

23/3/24 (For you)

Okay. Okay. Remember when I said I understood.

I don't. Would the answer have been the same, should I've waited for tomorrow? How can someone say what's good for other without having tried to reason with them. What I do understand is that two don't have a conversation if one doesn't want to.

"I understand not wanting to be alone" does sound, however, condescending as shit. How alone do you think I am, to begin with? ███ is barely around at all. ███ is barely around at all either.

It's easy saying you understand when you have people that's around. Nearby in your life and not. Friends you can see, should you wish to. Guildmates. ██ friends.

"Of course you will be (welcome)" my ass.

Of course I will be (dismissed). Because I sure as hell don't know my feelings, huh. Because I haven't been writing and reflecting and figuring myself and where I stand. Of course.

Of course.

[yknowkyareth]

23/3/24 (For ?)

So. I've been angry. I think. At everyone involved, myself included. I just keep on wondering if I'll ever be enough. Or if, by the time I'm enough, there'll still be anythhing left of me. I've been trying. And I've been giving. Pieces of me, here and there. To people. To family, to friends to past lovers. I'm running thin now. I'm afraid there might not be anything left of me. That' that's why people always leave. Why I'm always used, then discarded. Am I better than a tissue, really? Fit for helping others find comfort, then thrown when it gets too worn and sticky.

Is that the problem maybe? Maybe I care too much. Maybe I become overwhelming, overbearing. I thought that might be it. But if so, why doesn't anyone say it?

Why do they just pack up and leave?

I'm tired of being alone. I'm scared that's just how it'll be forever.

I don't know where to start writing.

[yknowkyareth]

22/3/23 (For you)

Third notebook now, huh. Also, a moment.

There we go. I think. I don't know. I'm... struggling. A bit. Maybe just more than a bit. I miss talking to you. I miss the calls. Not only since I decided to take the days off. Before as well. We went from speaking often. Nice, long calls. Now though. 32 minutes. An hour at most. Not playing anything. Not doing anything. I understand. But it doesn't change the fact that it hurts, or that it terrifies me. I feel like I'm gonna get left out. Left behind.

Left alone, again.

I guess that's why I asked for this time. I'm not sure if I'm getting any thinking doone, but I can't get left alone if I'm the one leaving to begin with.

Time -is- fucked up. Anyways. I'm gonna try and ██ ███ or something. I don't know.

See ya.

[yknowkyareth]

21/3/23 (For you)

Honestly, it'd be kinda funny if it wasn't so pathetic. Got not one but two (2!) diary spaces. Then again, lots of feelings.

I'm tired. I want to cry. To run away. To scream and shout and cry again and be angry. At you. At █████. At myself. But it wouldn't be fair to the both of you, so I'll stick with being angry at myself.

The leave from work doesn't help. I'm trapped both in body and mind, and I keep tearing myself apart, because fuck me I'm stupid.

And not.

Stupid, for not seeing it before, after the ████ thing. And not.

I almost said something, back then. But you were already dealing with enough grief, I couldn't bring myself to burden you with my feelings.

So, I did what I thought was best, back then. I tried to become a rock. Steady and present. When things crumbled, I wanted to make sure you knew not everything would do so. But well.

I did.

I'm sorry.

[yknowkyareth]

21/3/23 At myself.

Well. Would you look at that. You were the one to run away after all. And you keep saying things like "that's okay. that's aight" when it's obviously not. You're hurting. And tired. And a smidge angry. Maybe more than a smidge. It's curious how one of the things still in your mind is the damned series.

It wasn't good enough when it was you asking about it. But now oh it so is. But she'd rather watch it with you, she says. Or like, you know. You remember the conversation. But it felt. Feels. Like a lie, to save face. And yet thinking like that makes you sick to the stomach. Even more. Night time.

[yknowkyareth]

So. I'm going to write my stuff, from these past days here. Many many thoughts. Many bad ones, okay ones, not so many good ones but oh well.

Yeah.