I'm Here For The Discount

Memes equal dreams

[earthstory]

[kedreeva]

He’s being cleaned, not just pet, but judging by that big contented rumble you can hear, he’s quite enjoying it!

[stephendann]

When you’re a prehistoric dinosaur and it’s scritches time

[xxtc-96xx]

brushie brushie brushie 

[yourplayersaidwhat]

What’s medicine?

So I’m running a mini campaign for a library group and all my players are between 11 and 14 years old and most of them have never played before. They were in a battle where most of them had fallen unconscious and I told them that if they made a high enough medicine check they could wake their teammates up with 1 hp ( their cleric had used up most of their spell slots)

Player: I roll for medicine!

*rolls a 3*

DM(me): I don’t know what you’re doing but it’s definitely not helping

[slavelovergraphite]

ZIM MOVIE SPOILERS

I luved this movie but it needed MCR XDXDXDXD

-Emily

[dankmemeuniversity]

[everydaylouie]

ghost choir 👻 🎵

[teacupfulofstarshine]

I DID NOT THINK ANYTHING COULD TOP GHOST DUET

I WAS WRONG

I HAVE NEVER BEEN SO HAPPY TO BE WRONG IN ALL MY LIFE

[johnnywhistler]

Happy Halloween the 1st!

[bingomann]

ok but imagine a roomba that’s programmed to react positively when being scratched or petted 

[bingomann]

#or a roomba that’s programmed to recognize their owner and drive up to them for no other reason than to be petted

[bingomann]

roomba company, please make this happen

[fire-is-her-water]

I have a Neato Botvac that has an optical sensor to find its way around (Roombas just bump into things and derps off in a random direction) and yesterday it did its “dee-dummm” sad noise while under the couch, stopped what it was doing, and hummed over to me and stopped beside my chair, with its error message saying, “Please dust me off so I can see.” I wiped it off and sent it on its way, and it did its “doo doo do doooo!” of happiness and finished the living room. It’s never done that before, but I like to think that I’ve gained its trust over the past few months, and it knows it can come to me for help.

[chrishallbeck]

Avoiding.

Chrishallbeckstore.Com 

[yourplayersaidwhat]

DM: So it’s basically a huge open air black market, you can get illegal guns, cybernetics, there’s a guy selling powdered Dwarf penises as an aphrodisiac 

Everyone: What wait wait wait

DM: Yeah he has like jars of penises in his stall and powder-

Me, the Shapeshifter: How much, I don’t want it powdered how much to get a jar

DM: Uhhh… 500 nuyen

Me: Absolutely I buy it

After some more shopping we ended up in a club and our party’s only Dwarf was hanging out at the bar, we were about to end the session when I went over and put the jar on the counter

Me: Hey check this out 

I then proceeded to swallow the severed dwarf dick whole.

I rolled high enough to not puke or even be affected by it but the Dwarf didn’t even roll, he just threw up over the bar. The entire voice chat was a cacophony of WHAT THE FUCK WAIT N O for a minute or so

[yassmines]

this literally made me laugh so hard it shooke my BRAIN

[yassmines]

god DAM babey u done stop me in m TRACKS i can smell ur dam FEET from HHHHHHH EEEEEEHEEEHOOHOOO i can smell ur dam FEET from HERE well look me n the patnurs goin down to the levi tpack some LIPS maybe go mudridin how bouchune y HHHHHHHHHHHH fat ass friend hop ina HHHHHHHHHHHHH 😂😂 hop inthe backs HH HHH HHH HEEEEEEE

[whitepeopletwitter]

[nowscience-blog]

Demonstration Of Constant Velocity With A Moving Trampoline

[captocie]

witness them

[mousouchuu]

[i-was-today-years-old-when]

i learned that the world record for the loudest thing ever shouted belongs to an Irish female teacher who shouted the word “quiet” at 121 decibels, the equivalent of a jet engine (x)

[theycallmedanismiles]

DISGUSTANG

[chlmera]

oh my god?

[adistraughtthought]

[questbedhead]

Okay please read this whole article because there is important information in ther, including;

1. She never yells at her students- her record breaking 121 decibel shout happened during an event she’d been invited to. She was defending her title after setting the previous shouting record during a competition at a church camp, where she got to 119.4 decibels 

2. The only reason she entered the first competition was because her twin sister had entered and was about to win with a shout of 119.1 decibels. 

3. They took her to an expert to try to understand how she shouted so very loud and his conclusion was that her supernatural volume was fueled entirely by her need to beat her sister. 

[mylangbox]

BIG NEWS

[shittycryptids]

Deer, except they’re predators

[whatthesnickerdoodle]

[zarohk]

@shittycryptids That’s a terrible one, especially because they’re real.

[da-boy-o-kultur]

Switchblade Deer

[mjalti]

[bunjywunjy]

oh it totally does, but you can’t hear it because space is a vacuum and sound can’t travel through a vacuum! 

and that’s a good thing, 

because the roar of the sun would clock in at around 120db heard from earth, about the equivalent to having a train’s horn go off three feet from your face. 

constantly. all the time, even at NIGHT. there would be no escape.

[zeyrablue]

this is simply terrifying. how do you erase knowledge please ?

[kedreeva]

NASA actually recorded the sun, if you want to hear it:

And they recorded the planets too:

[petermorwood]

I wonder, if one played this Planet Sounds track on a (not too loud) loop through earbuds while drifting off to sleep, what dreams might result…?

[beachgirlnikita]

I have tinnitis and it sounds a lot like Neptune ALL THE TIME. Please protect your hearing at concerts and other loud areas if you don’t want this in your future!

[tanadrin]

me: okay yeah the sun sounds like a big ball of something churning, yeah, mercury, nice and desolate, hahah, venus sounds like experimental electronic music, nice, earth is windy, mars is windy, gotcha, dunno what’s up with jupiter, but i bet saturn’s not too diff–oh god why is the planet screaming? why is Saturn screaming?? WHAT IS GOING ON ON SATURN

[probablyfunrpgideas]

WARLOCK PATRONS!!!

Be a Warlock/Bard who plays the music of space so that your audience will understand what you hear in your dreams each night

Fire eldritch blasts of cosmic radiation that sing

Is your power from the Sun? Or the god of the sun? Or does something else live inside the flaming core?

[papershroud]

[min0uet]

regret.mp4

[head-in-the-bubbles]

“OH RIGHT HE WAS A WRESTLER”

[himejoshikomaeda]

invader zim filmed this

[hatsunemikuwu]

Y’all these are the actors who are in the Spongebob Squarepants broadway musical that Plankton trying to knock down Spongebob

[the-privateer]

that context makes is 10000X funnier

[that-twink-over-there]

The Invader Zim laugh SENT ME

[thefinalpam-archive]

who tried to do my chem homework for me last time

pyrobe do my chem homework

[billandtedsexcellentgaymarriage]

i am coincidentally doing my own chem homework so i suppose doing urs wont hurt

[thefinalpam-archive]

[billandtedsexcellentgaymarriage]

mgs because it means Metal Gear Solid and the metal gears never burn

[thefinalpam-archive]

[billandtedsexcellentgaymarriage]

thank you hideo kojima