✨Constant Regret✨

[dontcallmeidontexist]

Just as I was beginning to give up on love and soulmates and relationships

Out you came with all the love in your heart, rushing to sweep me off my feet and loving me back to life

Roughly I have loved you for ten thousand lives now and they all seem too short to contain it all

Greater loves will never arise or even come close, I fear that means neither will yours by far

Everything was right or so it seemed, because there were signs and there were fears, and no matter how much I prayed, hoped and dreamed, still

Guess nothing is meant to last

[remanence-of-love]

[dontcallmeidontexist]

You break my heart

Every day

You take me to heaven

Then leave me to fall from there

So every day

Like Sisyphus I strive to move

This everlasting burden

Like Atlas I carry

The weight of it all on my shoulders

Like Leda

Forced to survive the trespass

Against my soul

My skin

My devotion

Is it too late to ask

For a wiser being to motion

To break me free

To drop the burden

The sword

The shield

To finally let me gasp for air

And grasp the love I think I deserve

[fairycosmos]

they’re saying you’re finally going to become a real person like everyone else. they just announced it

[remanence-of-love]

[dontcallmeidontexist]

That was it

My last attempt at reconnection

My last try to make this work

I cannot take the pain

Of being ignored anymore

The hurt that comes

From your indifference

I tried for years and years

To make this work

I tried to mold myself

To fit your love

But what i needed

Was to be stronger

And to leave

For a love that's bolder

More reliant and empathetic

What I needed was not to weather

The disrespect and the neglect

But to love myself too much to stay

Now all I can do

Is wait

Until my heart

Stops beating for you

And then I will finally be free

To love myself

The way you should've loved me

[dontcallmeidontexist]

I hope that next time,

And believe me there will be,

You do you leave.

I hope you regret it,

And believe me you will.

I hope you realize that you didn't mean it

I hope it hurts to lose the one and only person who will love you despite all your flaws

And believe me I would have.

Your broken promises finally fulfilled

And believe me they will be.

The next time when you do put your hands on me

And believe me you will.

Maybe then I will be strong enough to leave

And believe me I will.

[dontcallmeidontexist]

"I'm your whore. And when you're tired of fucking me, I will be nothing"

It strikes

Like a sudden gust of wind

In an otherwise tranquil night

When you should be scared of other things

But the whiff of blood makes you look down

Like an axe or a sword

Right through you

Making you cough up

All the regrets you've ever felt

He takes you for wife

But no wedding bells toll

Only the rhythmic slamming

Of every shut threshold

Every markless bruise

Every hurtful word

One day you will realize

You're no longer his

Just a whore

[dontcallmeidontexist]

There are topics

Too delicate to breach

Too painful to bring up

Too deep to dig out of

There are places

That you don't visit

That you don't go back to

Where only memories reside

There are conversations

That you'd rather not have

And yet every single cloudy sky

Was a trip down memory lane with a shovel on your hand

You went there

Every single time

You took me with you

Always too fearful to ask why

My face mimicked the droplets, heavy, running down your coat

Or maybe it was the other way around

Like some sick joke

Maybe it was foreshadowing

To the bruises yet to come

And I let you

Every single time

[remanence-of-love]

[silent-insanities]

I think you feel it in your heart too.

[sunsbleeding]

[remanence-of-love]

[pantheonbooks]

House of Leaves: proof that beauty can live alongside horror can live alongside love can live alongside loss.

A cult classic whose influence keeps growing, kind of like a house that's larger inside than outside...

House of Leaves by Mark Z. Danielewski: 9780375420528 | PenguinRandomHouse.com: Books

THE MIND-BENDING CULT CLASSIC ABOUT A HOUSE THAT’S LARGER ON THE INSIDE THAN ON THE OUTSIDE • A masterpiece of horror and an astonishingly i

[danascullly]

Only Murders in the Building | Season 5 Episode 4 - Dirty Birds Written by Kristin Newman

[feluka]

my top hobbies are shame and embarrassment but i also occasionally dabble in envy

[feluka]

been getting into regret recently i think i've got a knack for it

[llovelymoonn]

i want a house with a spare room so my friends and family can stay over. so i can say "oh it's too late to drive home, why don't you stay the night?" i want paintings and photos of the people i love on the wall. i want cats on my bed and on my couch and on my lap. i want my home to be cozy and warm and sunny and full of love. there will be no angry men in my house. i want bright colours and wooden floors and plants in the bathroom. i want to grow my own herbs and have a view of the garden out the kitchen window. i want a fireplace and gauzy curtains. i want mirrors with photos stuck in the edges. i want rooms and rooms of books and shelves of trinkets i've been given or picked up on my travels. i want to hear the birds in the morning and drink coffee on the back deck. i want candles and vintage crockery and lacy tablecloths. i want roses on the windowsill. i want a veranda to host lunches with my neighbours. i want lamps that are different colours and bright carpets and a grand piano. i want a wooden bedframe and the perfect mattress and a quilt i made myself. i want a capsule wardrobe and thrifted shoes by the door. i want a brass knocker in the shape of a sun and a vintage kettle. i want a couch on the porch and wallabies in the backyard. i want a house full of love and warmth and no anger.