things they said at the umbrella academy, probably

[youmisstua]

Klaus: We’re playing Scrabble. It’s a nightmare.

Viktor: Scrabble? Scrabble’s great.

Klaus: Not when you’re playing with Five. He puts words like “ephemeral” and I put “dog.”

[youmisstua]

Five: Name a way to be nice to others.

Diego: Don’t kill them.

Five: Setting the bar a little low, but I’ll allow it.

[youmisstua]

Klaus: What the fuck-

Five: Language!

Klaus: Whom the fuck-

Five: That’s better.

[youmisstua]

Diego: [pulls out a knife]

Five: How many of those do you have?

Diego, pulling out more: How many do you need?

[youmisstua]

Five: Yes, I like WAP. Waffles and Pancakes.

Diego: …

Diego: I’m gonna tell him.

Klaus: Don’t you fucking dare.

[youmisstua]

Five: I’m great today! I feel positive. I feel creative. I feel motivated!

Five, two hours later: Ah… it was the coffee.

[youmisstua]

Klaus: I slept for almost twelve hours but I might still be tired so let’s go for twelve more just in case.

Five: That’s a coma.

Klaus: Sounds festive.

[youmisstua]

Five, angrily: Fuck Lila!

Diego: I’m trying!

[youmisstua]

Five: How long does a deodorant stick usually last you?

Klaus: Usually only 3 or 4 bites.

Five: Why do I even bother?

[youmisstua]

Stanley: In my defense, I was left unsupervised.

Diego: Wasn’t Klaus with you?

Klaus: In my defense, I was also left unsupervised.

[youmisstua]

Klaus: Are you a big spoon or a little spoon?

Diego: I’m a knife.

Lila: He’s the little spoon.

[youmisstua]

Klaus: Why would you give a knife to Stanley?

Diego: He said he felt unsafe!

Klaus: Well, now I feel unsafe!

Diego: …

Diego: Do you want a knife?

[youmisstua]

Klaus: I started seeing someone.

Five: As in dating or hallucinations?

[youmisstua]

Five: If cats knew what a sin was they wouldn’t even care. Klaus: I don’t care either. Fuck trigonometry.

[youmisstua]

Allison: Ace of spades! Diego: Uno, draw four! Klaus: Pikachu, I choose you! Five: WHAT THE HELL ARE WE PLAYING?

[youmisstua]

Klaus: No fear Five: We gotta go hang to the place with all the spiders for a bit Klaus: One fear

[youmisstua]

Vanya: I like the strong but silent type. Leonard: *silently trying to lift a table*