I miss people saying I'm all bones, I hope your parents are feeding you, you're going to die, we're worried about you, you get skinnier and skinnier everytime i see you, please eat. I miss that certain kind of care from my family, they treated me like a delicate baby doll, so worried and I was so loved, and for once, i loved myself aswell. The head rushes telling me I'm doing amazing, my thighs so far apart I couldn't make them touch even if I wanted them too, being too weak to stand in a hot shower for more than 5 minuets, wearing anything I wanted, feeling so light. My teachers scared of and for me, never eating in front of any of my family. Ever. Not thanks giving, not Christmas, not my birthday. Only surviving on sips of sink water, tums, peptobismol, fiber gummies i hid in my room, and condiment packets I managed to stuff in my pocket when I would go to the corner store with my mom and she wasn't looking. After consuming anything at always have either milk of magnesia afterwards, diet pills, or both. Sometimes I was worried I would have a heart attack, I think I had a minor one in my sleep once. Even though it was a very traumatic time in my life, I still miss it and wish I never "recovered".