your humble much slave

25, Aus, pisces

[inritum]

reblog and make a wish! this was removed from tumbrl due to “violating one or more of Tumblr’s Community Guidelines”, but since my wish came true the first time, I’m putting it back. :)

[ghostdog07]

OH MY FUCKING GOD, IT’S BACK ON MY DASH.

THIS SHIT WORKS OKAY, I AM DEAD SERIOUS.

The last time I saw this on my dash, I didn’t think it would happen, so jokingly I wished I could go to a fun. concert.

AND GUESS WHAT, I WENT TO A FUCKING FUN. CONCERT.

THIS SHIT WORKS, TRY IT.

[deathklaue]

YOOOOOOO

I SAW THIS ON MY DASH THE OTHER DAY AND THOUGHT “ITS WORTH A TRY” SO I WISHED I COULD GET A 3DS

LITERALLY LIKE 4 DAYS LATER MY DAD SENT ME A PICTURE OF THE 3DS XL HE BOUGHT FOR ME WHILE I WAS AT SCHOOL

IM STILL FREAKING OUT ABOUT THIS

[doryishness]

holy fuck, I didn’t expect this to work, I was like psh, whatever it’s just a quick reblog, but I wished my Dad would actually respond back to me AND HE FUCKING DID A FEW DAYS LATER, I GOT A FUCKING TEXT FROM MY DAD TODAY WHO HASN’T SPOKEN OR RESPONDED TO ME IN MONTHS HOLY FUCK WHAT IS THIS MAGIC IT WORKS. 

[victoriaringsinyourears]

I WANTED TO SEE MY BOYFRIEND AND I DIDN’T THINK I’D GET DAYS OFF BUT THIS WEEKEND I’M HEADING UP THERE??? THIS IS CRAZY SHIT 

[lenshade]

SO LIKE I JOKINGLY WISHED FOR MY OWN LEN KAGAMINE AND THEN LIKE A WEEK LATER I GOT A LEN NENDOROID??? H ELP

[themixedbagofwhat]

WTF OKAY SO THIS SHOT ACTUALLY WORKS BECAUSE WHEN I WISHED, I HAD WISHED MY CRUSH WOULD LIKE ME BACK AND GUESS WHAT? I HAVE A BOYFRIEND NOW. WHAT THE HELLLLL?????

[wodkat]

ok I’ve said this before but IM DOING IT AGAIN THE FIRST TIME I SAW THIS, MY WISH DID COME TRUE SO I REBLOGED AGAIN AND SAID IT IN THE TAGS BUT THEN I WISHED FOR SMTH ELSE AND IT LITERALLY LITERALLY HAPPENED LIKE A COUPLE DAYS LATER WHAT THE HELL SO NOW IM WRITING THIS HERE FOR YOU BC I DONT BELIEVE IN THIS CRAP BUT STILL IT’S AN AWFULLY BIG COINCIDENCE

[acstiel]

THE BOY I FELL I LOVE WITH LEFT TO TRAVEL THE OTHER SIDE OF THE WORLD AND HAS BEEN GONE NOW FOR 3 MONTHS. WE HAVENT SPOKEN SINCE BECAUSE I DIDNT WANT TO MAKE HIM FEEL TRAPPED TO ME AND NOT ENJOY HIS TIME SO I WAITED FOR HIM TO CONTACT ME FIRST. I SAW THIS ON A PARTICULARLY LOW DAY WHEN I WAS MISSING HIM SO MUCH I CRIED FROM THE PAIN, GUYS I REALLY LOVE HIM, SO I THOUGHT MEH WHAT THE FUCK, AND WISHED HE WOULD JUST LET ME KNOW HE WAS OKAY.

GUYS.

HE FUCKING CALLED ME 20 MINUTES LATER

20 FUCKNG. MINUTES. LATER.

GOOD THINGS DO HAPPEN. AND ITS IN THIS POST.

[juststrokemyglabella]

I wish for someone to leave something in my ask.

[adweeb-deactivated20160228]

OKAY SO I ASKED FOR A HEDGEHOG AND NOW GUESS WHO HAS A PET HEDGEHOG

[redandbrunette]

i want you to stay for one day and one nigh with me and give me sp much love i dont have to cry of lonliness tonight, every night

[swiftaylrs]

no bUT THE LAST TIME I DID THIS SHIT I WISHED MEETING MY IDOL AND IT WAS RIGHT BEFORE I FCKING GOT THE FCKING EMAIL SAYING I WAS GOING TO MEET TAYLOR OH MY GOD

[da-vincis-protege]

liKE THIS SHIT ACTUALLY WORKS PPL

[psycotherapistontv-deactivated2]

wont hurt to try

[kawaiiprincess211]

I wish everything works out for me in 2017

[baby-dino-girl]

I wish that I will get a hedgehog this month

[cutesylittleone-deactivated2018]

Going to reblog this again because I need some luck tonight!

[choosehopefortheanimals]

Emboonite made these rad vegan Pokemon memes; love it!

[sacredtome]

ppl who ‘want horror movies to stop being made because all the good ones have already been made’ are fucking fools and I’ll kick their asses

[thewickedavatar]

why make any more moviea at all? after watching rugrats in Paris i don’t need to see anything else.

[vanguardwolves-deactivated20180]

This but unironically.

[thewickedavatar]

I’ll kill you for accusing me of irony

[yourhumblemechslave]

Meat-eater: I mean [throws $14.99 steak in cart] being a vegan [grabs $5 gallon of milk] must be so [browses selection of overpriced cheeses] expensive

Me: yeah all these bags of frozen broccoli and cans of chickpeas are really breaking the bank ngl

[dankmemeuniversity]

[helenahasseler]

I am so fucking angry at the human race for believing they are superior to every other being out there. This sense of goddamn entitlement is going to get us all killed, and frankly that would be a blessing to this earth and every other being on it.

[godfreygdaily]

Godfrey Gao for Canada Tourism

[squidyword]

sometimes when I close my eyes I can’t see

[blondeisawesome]

Putin “taking notes” during Obama’s speech.

[you-all-hate-me-deactivated2015]

If obama was speaking I’d do the same thing

[socialjust-ish]

While it’s very possible he’s doodling, let us not forget that Russian Cursive apparently looks like this:

So it is very possible he just has messy handwriting (look at how he’s holding the pen) and is in fact taking notes.

Or he could just be doodling.

[hominishostilis]

I’ve never seen Russian cursive and now I can’t stop laughing. 

[dontneedfeminism]

This kind of thing is why cursive is a horrible idea.

[snowstorm-thirteen]

Russian doctors notes written in cursive. Pretty sure Putin is actually taking notes.

[nikolasdraperivey]

My eyes….

[leonanson-deactivated20160729]

i guess their writing looks like they were rushin

[soylent-peen-deactivated2018121]

STOP

[futureblackwakandan-deactivated]

😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

[savesuho-blog]

i took his chair and he’s been staring at me for more than 10 minutes

[octoswan]

for a hot second there I thought “he” was that bearded doll thing perched on the stairs and ngl I nearly pissed myself

[theinturnetexplorer]

This is particularly sweet because that wolf almost undoubtedly didn’t have a pack. He was lonely. And then he wasn’t lonely: he had all the weird little squished stunted-development wolves and their weird bipedal not-wolves!

[garbageshepard-deactivated20200]

i am ugly crying like snot just avalanched out of my face i love dogs

[just-a-fat-bird]

@mizzwilde

[space-trash-princess]

This should be a children’s book

[letsgochromedome-deactivated202]

@followmeonelasttime literally crying here

[jewish-belle]

there is water in my eyes

[needsmoarcat]

[kittymudface]

It gets better—the guy is deaf, and he taught his cat the sign for “food.” So the cat’s not just saying “put that in my mouth,” it’s actually signing

[lutefiskcrowsandbeef]

Not only that, but if you notice at the beginning, the cat *gets the man’s attention* as any person who wanted to talk to a deaf/hoh individual would (well, and vice versa IME). I’ve done sign since I was 5, and generally, w/o eye contact initially, you wave a hand or lightly touch the arm (if that’s ok with the person you’re trying to converse with, of course).  Generally, adult cats meow mostly to humans, but this cat has figured out that’s not going to work and has adapted. Animal companions! They are INCREDIBLE.

[leannewoodfull]

Amazing.

[fromseveralroomsaway]

EVERYONE STOP WHAT YOU ARE DOING AND LOOK AT THIS CAT.

[lance-the-kanto-dragon-master]

AND THE WAY IT NODS OMG

[mothurs]

friend: you look stressed me: haha yeah it’s the stress

[ithelpstodream]

[casanova-lives]

The right wants to be victims so fucking bad

[onlytwitterpics]

[coach-taylor]

[croptool-deactivated20221013]

white people on tumblr

white1: i love broccoli

white2: omg i love broccoli too sooo much

white3: did some1 say broccoli? i love broccoli

white4: i’m factkin with broccoli uwu no doubles

white5: i’’md bbrrococoli ttoo wwhyyr r  uu a a ffakke off mme??

white6: *posts a pic of a broccoli* my boyfriend

white7: i want to shove a broccoli up my pussy

white8: omg guys i found a broccoli vibrator xD

white9: *rbs pics of broccolis and tags everyone in it*

white10: ii jsustt fuckigng lovove brrocoli soso muchy

and then there’s a “broccoli hour” which lasts 3 hours instead and you have to unfollow 10 people

[evil-loli-bitch-from-hell]

This is actually really racist, but really fucking funny. I’m bouta do one with black folks and soul food, then Russians and vodka.

[croptool-deactivated20221013]

your url has loli on it

[evil-loli-bitch-from-hell]

And? Tag my post with pedophilia again. I dare you. I’ll press charges for defamation of character.

[evil-loli-bitch-from-hell]

screencapped and emailed to my lawyer. She will have filed charges by tomorrow afternoon. By law We must allow you 48 hours to remove the offending material. If not, you will be charged with defamation of character, libel, and criminal mischief, all misdemeanors. You will face a judge trial.

Don’t think you won’t be found either. That email with the cap also includes your Dox, which will not be shared publicly. I’ve also forwarded this material to the local FBI field office. They take false accusations of pedophilia VERY seriously. Especially when your uncle is a high ranking Homicide Detective with good friends in the FBI, the US Marshals Office, and the NSA. 

[gayhex]

can we turn this into a copy pasta

[evil-loli-bitch-from-hell]

Do you people not understand how the law works?

[uhohidied-deactivated20170626]

i am you

[ravensbyte-moved]

scree.n  cappe d .and emaiedl  t o; my, lawye.r  SShe wil,,l have ;filed chagres by omor;rwo af.ternoo;n. By la w We ,,mus,t allooW you 48 hoursto re;;mo,ve the offenddin;;g maetrial., Itff not, you will be charged with defamaat  in of character, lbel, and, crim jusstina,,l mischief, ll misdemeanors. You ,,will  face ,,a judge trriial.

Don’’t ttHi nk yo.u won;;’t bee;; found either. Th;;at eemail wituht hhe ca also incldues your ox,’ whiCh will n,ot be s,,hared, public,,ly. I’vve alsoo f,,orwarded this materil..a  to the looc al F,,B IIfi,eld  offic;e. TjheY take fals..e accusati ons;; of  pedpohilia VERY,, ser;;iouusly. E;;specially when yyouru ncle is ca, h,,hiigh ranking Homicidd..e Detec;t;ive with good fr..ie,,nsd in ,,tdhe     BI,; hte U Sarshals Off,,i..cE,,,, and,, the NNSA.

[spankmehillary-deactivated20220]

📸💻screencapped and 📲emailed📨to my 👩🏽‍⚖️lawyer👨🏽‍⚖️. She will have 📃filed 🚔charges👮🏻‍♀️ by tomorrow🕥🕠🕡afternoon🌤. By 🏛law We must allow you 🏪48 hours🏪 to remove🙅🏽‍♂️ the 🤢offending🤢 material. If not🤔, you will be charged💰💸 with defamation🚫🎞 of character🤡, libel🤥, and criminal🚨 mischief👹, all misdemeanors👌🏽. You will face a judge👩🏽‍⚖️ trial⚖️. Don’t ☝🏽❗️think you won’t be 🕵🏽‍♀️found🔍 either. That email📧 with the cap👷🏽 also includes your Dox😏🙈, which will not👎 be shared👻 publicly🏙. I’ve also forwarded🔛this material📚 to the local FBI 💩field office🏬. They take false🙀accusations of pedophilia👪 VERY seriously🤣. Especially🌚 when your uncle👴🏼is a high🔝 ranking 🔫Homicide🔪 Detective🔎with good😇 friends👨‍❤️‍👨 in the FBI🐖, the US Marshals Office🐀, and the NSA🐴.