etc. (if there's a fandom, i probably at least know of it!)
what i'll post
generally just long-form text posts about my thoughts about a certain piece of media/character/whatever. if you want to look at just those they're tagged yu's ramblings, anything that isn't that or a repost is tagged yu's asides, when i write fanfics and whatnot, i'll tag those as yu writes, and when i answer asks they'll just be tagged as asks.
please send me asks about anything, i'm always wanting to talk about something or another :)
I have to say, Lord Occtis Tachonis has an incredible aesthetic. This style is so new to me but I had the best time drawing it! (Round of applause for the 1-2-THREE RIBCAGES I HAVE LEARNED TO DRAW, pls 💀).
Part 1/14 of my @critical_role Campaign 4 series! Inspired by the Dragon Age tarot cards. Occtis has been an absolute delight this campaign I totally get why he’s a fan favorite. 🖤💜💚
Now, I’m not following the official tarot decks, but for funsies which Major Arcana do you reckon he’d be?
Is your Dungeons and Dragons character too happy? Are they too settled into their life and thusly require some kind of personal tragedy to motivate them to leave it and take up a life of adventuring? Try Primus Tachonis!
Primus Tachonis is an all-purpose personal tragedy creator sure to spur your character to adventure specifically so they can get his ass. Whether you need an old money asshole muscling in on an institution beloved to your PC or an evil sorcerer to slaughter their entire family Primus Tachonis has the magic and the social station to create whatever tragedy is required to serve your backstory.
Primus Tachonis is so versatile as a backstory tool he has professional D&D players raving:
Primus Tachonis killed my character's best friend and now she has to figure out who she is without him! -Laura Bailey
I wrote a light backstory because I was still feeling out the setting and my dungeon master used Primus Tachonis to turn my brother into a statue! -Travis Willingham
Primus Tachonis is trying to take over my character's magic school and endangering her students, and she will not have that! -Marisha Rey
I had intended my character to have a tense but ultimately repairable relationship with his father, but then my DM used Primus Tachonis to rip his skull from his head. Now my character is on a quest to kill every member of Primus' noble house! -Matthew Mercer
My character was a happy and established local playwright until Primus Tachonis had his little brother executed. Now he's taken up the sword again in his brother's stead! -Liam O'Brian
I needed someone to murder my character's wife and daughter and my dungeon master suggested Primus Tachonis, and I couldn't be happier with the result! -Robbie Daymond
Even works on members of his own family! -Alexander Ward
So don't miss out on the one-man solution to forcing your character to feel the call to adventure, try Primus Tachonis today!
why is it so hard for me to pick a name and stick with it... granted none of them have come out in the real world (i present very cis and don't really give anything trans/genderqueer irl) but i always try something out online for a few months and end up not quite liking it 😭
it's also not like i hate my given name all the time (genderfluid spectrum), but it is very much Gendered and i want something a bit more neutral that fits me all the time and doesn't make me feel weird sometimes
Here's more of my thoughts on my playthrough of p5r (specifically more thoughts on Maruki's reality, and just general anecdotes- please feel free to add to my thoughts in rbs, comments, or asks bc I'm chewing on them in my brain again lol)
((more under the cut))
I didn't really get through much today, only like 4 days in game? I wanted to head back into the palace but completely forgot that I was meant to explore Mementos first... and then I kept getting sidetracked by confidants and the third awakening interactions 😭 the tradeoffs of waiting about a year to play the rest of the game lmao.. I also do know the rest of the plot points now even though I haven't finished the game yet, so really my playthrough's just filling in details atp
I'm finding the text conversations and NPC conversations pretty interesting though. I'll transcribe some of the ones I got through and provide some of my own commentary!
(IM: Futaba)
Futaba: There's been this streak of weird posts on the Phan-Site.
Futaba: "My mom is acting weird." "I'm so lonely and hungry."
Futaba: "Can she not see me?" "She doesn't answer me."
Futaba: "The house is so cluttered..." "It's such a mess now."
[protag choice]: You figure it's real?
Futaba: I wondered, but the posts sound like a cry for help, man. I don't think this is a joke.
Futaba: To me, it sounds like neglect or straight-up abuse.
...
Futaba :(( the way she interacted with the situation when we reviewed the list of targets for Mementos broke my heart too
But I do think it's odd that we even have a need for Mementos if Maruki's reality is intact? Probably something something it isn't fully realized yet so there are people who slip through the cracks, and also for gameplay purposes where you don't want players to not have access to a game mechanic, but it's just strange to me.
Like if you're implementing a new utopian society, wouldn't you essentially triage it and take care of the people in desperate need first..? Poverty, child abuse/neglect, suicidal ideation, etc. (all of which you see in Maruki's world or in Mementos requests) all seem to have a bit more weight than wanting a romantic partner or wanting to change your job... so why didn't Maruki save those people first? If trying to eliminate suffering, I think the big life-threatening causes should go first, which would essentially remove the need for Mementos. But idk, maybe Maruki just doesn't have a way of targeting specific groups of people or something yet
(News on Train)
Train Monitor: "Japan first in list of most prosperous countries." Others are praising it as the perfect model of a developed country.
This might seem like a weird detail to latch onto, but hold on lmao
So essentially this tells me that Maruki's reality is definitely biased in favor of what Maruki himself wants (which is obvious, but ykw whatever). Japan is a "perfect model of a developed country" and is first in prosperity- the only reason for a specific country to be "first" in a utopian society is for there to be a bias towards that country, which in this case must be displayed by Maruki because he's literally the god of this universe in this context and is the only person worldwide making these decisions 😭. Like obviously the Japanese guy is going to have a bias towards Japan, so suddenly Japan is the most prosperous nation in the world (I'm also going to elect to ignore a colonization/imperialism/competition/inherent-(borderline)-racist-internal-bias stance here, but know that it could be argued for).
But what this means to me is that Maruki's reality is then inherently biased and unfair, and is totally shaped around what Maruki believes to be the best way forward or the way things "should" be (and this is totally shown more overtly in some of the other conversations I've pulled, but this was an interesting angle that my brain latched onto lmao)
(IM - Phantom Thieves Chat)
Yusuke: About the actualization...
Haru: Did something happen?
Yusuke: One of my fellow artists no longer works in the medium.
Haru: You mean they gave up painting?
Yusuke: To be precise, their entire history and existence as a painter are no more.
Ryuji: For real?!
Futaba: Actualization sure is some spooky stuff...
Ann: But doesn't that mean Maruki just killed their dream?
Yusuke: No- in this reality, they have apparently always been in archery.
Yusuke: They're quite skilled as well, from what I've gathered.
Ryuji: Seriously? But... why archery?
Akechi: I don't know the exact reasoning, but it most likely Maruki's judgement call.
Akechi: He pried into your associate's cognition and concluded archery to be the best fit for them.
Makoto: So this is what Dr. Maruki considers "salvation"...
Akechi: He probably concluded that the arts were just generating suffering for them...
Akechi: I suppose he thought this would be a superior path?
Yusuke: Now that you mention it, they did say before that they were stuck in a terrible slump...
Sumire: But doesn't that mean all of the effort up until now is just... wasted?
Akechi: Protecting people from their pain must matter more than their lost efforts.
Akechi: From his point of view, of course.
[protag choice]: What a hellhole.
Akechi: I couldn't have put it better myself. It's so pretentious, it's nauseating.
(IM: Phantom Thieves Chat)
[I've omitted large portions of this conversation, but essentially they're talking about how Ushimaru (the teacher that throw chalk at Joker the entire game) is suddenly nice]
...
Ryuji: We got people saying he's basically the school's own Buddha!
Yusuke: It does sound as if he's been enlightened, I suppose...
Haru: So Dr. Maruki has changed someone's personality?
Makoto: If he really wanted to change, then yes, it's possible...
...
Akechi: It's like your own situations, most probably. Something in his past must have been overwritten.
Akechi: It's also possible his personality just changed, independent of any external events.
...
To me, both of these conversations pretty clearly show Maruki's willingness to overwrite people's dreams and personalities if they feel they don't fit. Never mind the fact that Maruki essentially changes the world to have a Japan-first sort of outlook because he sees it best, he also rewrites people's personalities and experiences to fit his ideal of what is "good." Even if I agreed with removing the suffering of people entirely to create a kind of utopia (which I don't), I think taking away the personality, experiences, and goals of a person to fit your own idea of what would be good for them is wrong.
Essentially you're defanging a person, clipping their wings, and sending them off in a different direction than where they intended to go. Is that even considered the same person? If you wanted to go into art and then got lobotomized (or otherwise got your mind altered) and suddenly wanted to go into archery, and then you also completely acted differently and had different memories than what you had before this event happened, I'd definitely say that you would not be the same person.
It's kind of similar to the ship of Theseus where you replace the entire ship and ask if it's still the same ship, except you replace the parts of the ship with completely different colors and materials until it looks and behaves completely differently. Like that is NOT the ship I started with lol
(Also Akechi going "It's so pretentious, it's nauseating" is interesting but I'm going to drop it for now.. maybe a topic for another day)
I'm also a fan of these Third Awakening convos. I'm assuming it'll only apply to the thieves that I've reached confidant lvl 10 in (for me that's Ryuji, Yusuke, Makoto, Akechi? Pretty sure there's extra things for Akechi that I can't remember if I did or did not do in the storyline so we'll see lmao) but I'd love to see the others 😭 maybe some other playthrough
(Ryuji 3rd Awakening conversation)
Ryuji: So, uh... Man, how do I say this...
Ryuji: ......
[protag choice]: I'm flattered, Ryuji, but-
Ryuji: It ain't like that!
Ryuji: I mean, I guess it was weird invitin' ya to my room out of the blue like that, but don't get the wrong idea.
I love Ryuji so much 😭 whenever I have the option to implicate Ryuji or mess with him a bit I take it..
(Yusuke 3rd Awakening conversation)
...
Yusuke: But that's part of winter's charm, I suppose. The air is so pure and crisp...
Yusuke: There's a strange... clarity to it all.
Yusuke: As if everything's suddenly brought into a sharper focus- both within, and beyond ourselves.
[protag choice]: Are you okay?
...
This took me out because I was literally thinking the same thing like 2 days ago 😭 I was thinking about how it was really hot and gross outside and how winter (and the cold) brings a sharp scent in the air outside that isn't there in summer (like you can literally smell that it's getting colder outside). It also seems to carry the sounds of the world around you with more clarity. (These observations are not scientifically backed to my knowledge lmao)
Makoto's 3rd awakening convo is interesting too- she talks of "looking at the shameful and disgraceful parts of herself and going 'so what?'" and that resonated lol. It very much rejects Maruki's "gloss it over and destroy all the bad parts" philosophy (which is the point of all their awakenings, but whatever) in an interesting way. Hers and Yusuke's were very different too in the way they referred to themselves and their actions, which I also found interesting, but I'm also just going to table that ramble for a different day 😭
Also this is random but I did do lvl 5 of the Futaba confidant and she goes "Heck yeah! I could probably roll a natural twenty right now if you asked me to!" And like... as someone who plays dungeons and dragons fairly religiously, that sent me lol
I probably have more thoughts on everything too but these are the main ones? Like I said before the cut, feel free to debate whatever or talk about things (essentially please interact with my thoughts bc I want to see other viewpoints and mush my and other people's ideas around)!
now that i'm free from my shackles (school) for break, i get to do things i want to do for once!! i still have summer courses i need to do (and i need to start looking at college apps and essays...) but it's certainly not the time commitment of in-person school..
i think my main goal is to finally (FINALLY!!) finish my playthrough of p5r that i started last year and then make a post about that, and then see what else happens (or see what else i get interested in)
im very very VERY excited for Good Omens 3 soooooo have moceit as these scenes from good omens because they mean a lot to me !!11!!!!11
i think this would have worked better as an animatic so uhhhh play the scene in the background and read the comic with that timing for better effect thank you
also little self promo to say my commissions are open !! click here for more info if you're interested <3
Feed your dashboard by answering my question, blogger.
I also don't play many games with fighting in it because combat is my least favorite part of anything 😭 unfortunately that also makes me pretty bad at it when it does come up.
Idk if it counts, but Okumura's boss battle in P5 really sucked. It only took me like 2 or 3 tries to get it, but it was the first time I realized you could die in the game because before that I was just breezing on by on Easy mode (because I hate combat)..
And then for my (currently) last abandoned wip, it's a pjsk fic I never finished lol
It's ~700 words, so not long at all- it was kind of a Rui character study, but I never made it long enough to get there lmao 😭 I had a general outline with some general ideas I wanted to incorporate (after the main body of text), but they never got put into words properly. I've kind of went through and explained my ideas for it more thorougly down there though- this fic was meant to be a study about Rui, but also a study on loneliness, self-isolation, and the self-imposed idea that you "corrupt" or "poison" others with your presence
Rui smiled at Emu. "Are you ready to test the launcher now?"
"Yeah!" Emu beamed back, hopping into the barrel of the cannon that Rui had finished the week before.
"Alright!" Rui clapped his hands together.
"Nene, Tsukasa, do you mind waiting over there for the initial test?" He pointed to a spot just off the stage. "I don't want it to accidentally fire at you."
After they'd moved out of the way, Rui turned back to Emu.
"Okay, time to launch! Ready?"
Emu nodded vigorously.
"And... go!"
Rui pressed the launch button. He heard a distinct hissing sound, and he gasped.
"Wait-!"
A spark of electricity flashed just before the base of the launcher exploded with a bang, bursting into flames. Emu shot out of the launcher, crashing on the opposite end of the stage.
"Emu!" Rui dropped what he was holding and rushed to Emu. He barely registered Nene and Tsukasa running up behind him as he dropped to his knees beside her.
"Emu, are you okay? I'm so sorry, I didn't check the safety fearures enough beforehand- the circuit override must have failed." It had shot her farther than expected, causing her to land halfway off the safety mat he'd prepared.
A feeling of despair gnawed through his chest as Emu sat up gingerly, wincing as she rubbed her arm.
"Are you hurt?" Nene asked worriedly, coming up near Rui to kneel at Emu's side. "Nene-Robo, get the first aid kit."
His throat tightened as Emu tried to smile.
"It's okay. My arm just hurts a little!" She extended her arm out for Nene to inspect. "And only two little scratches! It kinda hurt with the fire, but it didn't actually burn."
Rui's fingernails dug into his arm. "It's my fault. I should've looked at it again before you got in there."
He glanced back at the launcher. Its flames had gone out, leaving a charred metal shell in its place. His heart quickened at the thought of what could've happened if Emu hadn't been shot out of the launcher, instead being trapped inside as it burned around her.
Tsukasa grabbed the first aid kit from Robo-Nene, handing it to Nene as she began to clean Emu's gashes.
He turned to look at Rui. "Rui, it's okay! It was a good idea for the show, so let's build the next one safely."
Rui shook his head. "No, this won't work. I'll just... scrap this for now and think of something better." And more safe, he added inside his head.
Tsukasa frowned. "But this is the idea we've been working on for weeks now! And it was a good one, we all thought so."
Rui's eyes roved back over to the charred launcher.
"I..." he pressed his lips together tightly. "I can't do that. I need to redo it with something safer."
He looked back at Emu, looking at her more closely for injuries as Nene patched her up. His attention caught at the bottom of her skirt and her shoes, which were slightly singed and covered in a light layer of soot and ash. Had it been a moment longer, Emu's legs would've likely been burnt too.
His stomach twisted at the thought. It was his fault, after all.
"Rui..." Tsukasa looked at him, eyes shining with something he couldn't decipher. "Didn't we talk about this when I fell through the trapdoor? We just need to find another way, you don't need to hold back at all."
"No, Tsukasa. This time it was arguably worse- and it was still because of me. Emu could've-" He cut himself off.
Tsukasa sighed. "But nothing bad happened. The safety mat that you laid out ended up breaking most of her fall, and the machine launched her before it completely exploded! The safety precautions you did take saved her from getting hurt even more!"
Rui drew his arms around himself. "It only launched her because we got lucky. If Emu would've been stuck in there for a second longer, then she would've been severely burnt by my carelessness."
"But-"
"No." Rui raked in a breath. "I can't practice anymore. I'm sorry."
He took his binder and the failed launcher as he left the stage, all but fleeing to his bag to shove papers in. He quickly walked out of the park, only casting a fleeting glance back at Emu to ensure that she was up and moving.
Loneliness + guilt- poison -> corruption
"Born with something rotten inside you and if people get close enough they'll find out"
(This part was kind of inspired by Seventeen's Fear (독), which is honestly a great song with amazing lyrics)
Self isolation
Slightly bring out of isolation
Misfire part 2
Shut down/spiral (self sacrifice?- "if it were me hurt it'd be fine but it's you guys")
Self isolation (worse -> doubt -> poison)
Rooftop Mizuki? - not in depth, brushes them off
Spiral more (maybe about dismissal)
Helps people? Dismisses thanks
"Every time someone said I was pretty, I thought of everything ugly swarming beneath my clothes."
