5am

[ he • ☿ • 28 ] icon by @omoulo cashapp: $SamDian venmo: cargo2331 paypal.me/SamDian

[raccoonmilf]

If the only thing that has kept you going was outliving Mitch McConnell, imma need yall to pick a new person to outlive and fast. Your mission is not over.

[valtsv]

arranged political marriage narratives are for me similarly fraught to unplanned pregnancy in that they tend to skew towards a conservative, anti-choice sentiment regardless of the author's intentions or ideology, because the end goal is typically the realisation of an apparently empowering and subversive romantic fantasy where the characters involved experience compellingly turbulent and sexually charged conflict between normative expectations and their own desires, but ultimately find themselves fulfilled in and even healed by the acceptance of undeniably important and worthwhile but conventional (and oppressively gendered) roles like that of the loving husband and wife or parental figures. which is a shame because i Do think that there's some interesting and worthwhile commentary to be explored through these kinds of kinky fantasies that reflect the anxieties surrounding very real and enduring sociopolitical issues regarding autonomy and consent, but when that tension is ultimately resolved by settling into a role that's always been what's expected of you, even if it does allow you to manipulate certain social power dynamics in your favour, it just rings kind of hollow. all of which is a very long-winded way of saying that i wish there were more arranged marriage narratives where the participants never fall in love, but still come to care for and respect one another, and perform the marital duties expected of them out of that affection and desire to both help each other advance their sociopolitical countermoves to subvert the status quo and to survive, using the legal and social trappings that come with their marital status to their advantage to protect each other.

[valtsv]

like i really Cannot stress enough how imperative it is that they never feel anything like romantic love for one another - nor are they really friends, although they may like each other's company and even actively prefer it to anyone else's. rather their relationship is comparable to that of two people covering each other's backs in a fight, or two prisoners in the same cell, and there's as much of the beauty of human connection to that as there is tragedy that those are the circumstances that brought them together. and they can absolutely have sexual tension and even consummate a sexual relationship and enjoy it, but it will be unavoidably dubiously consensual at best by design. no flinching from it.

[valtsv]

arranged marriage where you love each other so much that you'd both shove the other person through a crack in the wall the moment it opened up in front of you while screaming at them to go, go now, run, and don't you dare look back

[hiveswap]

they dont tell you this but you carry your upset younger self in you like a parasitic twin

[the-tenth-arcanum]

my hot take is that tumblr should have a bookmark function as well as likes

[the-tenth-arcanum]

we'll never be the new pdf at this rate

[hollowboobtheory]

why do people think victorian orphans were like. the peak of sheltered pure innocence

[hollowboobtheory]

"imagine feeding mountain dew to a victorian orphan" they'd probably appreciate the pick-me-up before their shift as junior osha violator at the accident factory

[hollowboobtheory]

"imagine showing a victorian orphan vtubers" they'd say "this is boring i wanna watch public executions"

[burr-ell]

#that victorian orphan works as a chimblysweep to buy lifesaving medical cocaine and chloroform for his sister and yall dont even smoke weed

[kaijuno]

I NEED HELP TO PREVENT HOMELESSNESS

I’m really fucking scared. The court date for eviction is the 20th. My power is about to be shut off during the worst heat wave in years. I have nowhere to go. I don’t know what to do with my cat. I don’t even have a car to live out of. I’m gonna be on the streets in 100 degree weather and no way to get to a cooling center.

I’m so so scared. I need help. Please please if you can, help

Kofi | Cashapp | Venmo | PayPal

[kaijuno]

PLEASE HELP I NEED FOOD

I’m going to lose my home. I’m going to lose my cat. I’m going to lose everything. I feel so fucking sick. I haven’t had food. My power is about to be shut off. I can’t do this anymore. I have DAYS left before the landlord takes me to court and I feel so fucking sick I DONT EVEN HAVE A WAY TO GET TO THE FUCKING COURT HOUSE. I can’t do this anymore

[disorientation]

Having a "stupider people have done this" attitude about the things you want to do can open so many doors

[elodieunderglass]

Package containing three reusable silicone lids for preserving supermarket hummus, which cost very little and which I honestly don’t give a fig about: we’ve posted your parcel. (we’ve posted your parcel.) your parcel is posted. Your parcel is posted. Your parcel is moving. Tracking number for your parcel. Your parcel is being hand-carried to the depot by a courier named GREG. Your parcel is nestled gently at the DEPOT. Your parcel has been fed and watered and given a comfort break. Your parcel’s overnight nurse is named DILYS. She has twelve years of experience and a qualification. She reports YOUR PARCEL is DOING WELL. YOUR PARCEL HAS LEFT THE BUILDING. YOUR PARCEL HAS LEFT THE BUILDING. Your courier is named MERVYN and he is an AQUARIUS. your parcel is due at 12:13. We apologise. Your parcel is due at 12:17. This is due to MERVYN encountering ROADWORKS. Your parcel is circling. MERVYN is on your street. MERVYN IS HERE. Here is a photo of your feet with the parcel. Your parcel ARRIVED. how did you like MERVYN. Was he okay. Would you use him again. Would you trust Dilys to safeguard the following: a glass case containing a crystal gem / a balloon / a bucket of water. Your parcel was four minutes late. We’ll email you forever now. Do you like this

Package containing fragile and valuable birthday present to myself, anxiously awaited: due date of FUCKOFF Posted NEVER 💅

[elodieunderglass]

Tags that made me laugh

[brookebitch69]

lowkey one of the most affecting sentences i have ever read. I have never been able to get it out of my head and i dont understand what it is trying to convey at all.

[thefriendlypigeon]

❤️💙💛GRACEFUL💛💙❤️

⭐[my social media links]

[radiofreederry]

Lol

[cavegirlpoems]

I cannot stop laughing at the idea that socialism ignores humanity’s highest spiritual ideal: owning yachts.

[goflowolfog]

[the-clapping-smiling-pig]

You have to careful about masturbating to your imagination cause god doesn’t know about imagination so he will assume you are jacking off to whatever is around you like dust, a dead bug, birds nest. And if you jerk off to a poisonous bug (or if god assumes you have) then you do go to hell

[mousemilf]

next time you encounter something confusing, try using your fan fiction reading device to access websites like "wikipedia" or "miriam webster" to break down those pesky difficult topics. its sorta like a "enemies to lovers" situation, where the scary new knowledge can become your friend - and then you won't look so unflattering when you comment

[girlbr0thers]

Faux leather was the worst thing ever created

[girlbr0thers]

Lets take a material that can last decades with the right treatment and care and fucking replicate it with the most dogshit ugly flimsiest animal extinction microplastics smells bad unsexual rips in four days garbage disgusting saran wrap we can think of. Ostensibly for vegans.

[nonaferatu]

This would have had me crucified on tumblr 10 years ago but maybe we are ready for this conversation now:

If you are a socially anxious person, you have to socialize. Your panic/anxiety attacks will only get worse and trigger more frequently if you constantly avoid contact with The Public. Not saying that you need to be a social butterfly- but there is a genuine problem with not being able to order your own meal at a restaurant. And it cannot be solved by always having someone else do it for you.

This is a PSA to about 3/4s of the Portland Youth populace

[nonaferatu]

everyone who reblogs this and is like "I ordered my own tea this week" or "I only barfed once when I had to give a presentation'- you are doing amazing sweetie. Have patience with yourself, you are relearning a skill so difficult that people get 4 year degrees to do it professionally.