Imaginary Reality

🌸Irl -dere🌸Poly and Single🌸Minor🌸Fluidflux🌸Any prns+it/its🌸Plural🌸 🍒 TW/CW ab*se, guro/gore, nsfw,traumacore..etc 🍒

[yxnmasodere]

Hii! I'm new to this community so here's a small intro of myself.

🌸 Bisexual & Aceflux (Might be aroflux)

🌸Fluidflux

🌸Any prns + it/its

🌸Yandere, Yangire, (Sado)Masodere, Dandere, Dorodere, Shundere, Tsungire

🌸 I'm poly

🌸 Call me Mikan and/or Alex

🌸 I'm the host of a polyfragmented OSDD system

🌸 I'm a Maladaptive Daydreamer but prefer not to say I have MADD because it still isn't catagorized as an official disorder, plz be patient with me as I lose focus way too easily and frequent

🌸 Objectum

🌸 Age and Pet regressor

🌸 I'm currently a Minor

🌸 I have anxiety,depression (or bpd, im suspecting it) and a thought disorder (Sorta diagnosed???)

🌸 Anti-yans, plz be respectful and try to understand us, if not then leave.

🌸 I might vent on here and talk about disturbing topics so be careful

💌 Stay safe and enjoy your day! 💌

[yxnmasodere]

[yxnmasodere]

[yxnmasodere]

I hate how you probably love your friends more than me, why can't I be your number one already?

I WOULD LITERALLY DO ANYTHING FOR YOU

✰ • I love you • ✰

[yxnmasodere]

[animalcrossingmemes]

[yxnmasodere]

I would never be mad at my close ones for doing this 🥺

Y'all can step on whatever you like 🥰

[yxnmasodere]

I'll forever protect you. Anyone who hurts you, deserves to die. How dare anyone even THINK about trying to ruin your day. They're disgusting. You don't need them though. You just need me.

ME AND ME ONLY

[yxnmasodere]

Please love me!! I NEED YOU. I need you beside me, talking to me, smiling at me, keeping me sane... I can't imagine a world without you. I would NEVER be able to live without you.

I literally need you. I've never met anyone as amazing as you~

You loved me and gave me a chance. You forgived me. You accepted me. You said you cared about me. It's pretty shocking actually. I still don't know if I believe you but I trust you !

I can't get myself to talk to you. Idk why. I'm so scared..

[yxnmasodere]

I love you !! I LOVE YOU SO MUCH ! I miss you and I want to be with you again my love~ I hate myself for not being able to get the courage to talk to you. I'm just really scared. It's terrifying to talk to the one you love the most when you've messed up with them before. It's actually hard for me to talk to anyone. I know you're worried about me but at the same time I always ask myself if you actually care.

Would your life, regardless of how you feel, be better when I'm dead?

[yxnmasodere]

[yxnmasodere]

[yxnmasodere]

Pronouns I want to try out:

Pronouns I already use: She/he/they/it

I want to try neos but I was always scared for some reason, here are my favs and would appreciate it if some of you would use it from time to time when refering to me. My gender is confusing but I think I'm fluidflux, androgyne lean.

ae/aer ( I use these but haven't told anyone lol)

Cloud/Clouds

dream/dreamself

[ Yes dissociation ]

Med/Meds/Medself (I'm Mikan irl so this helps ground me)

r0t/r0ts (just yes)

I'm unsure about names but I mainly use Mikan and Alex, I'm thinking about Kandi and Corpse. As a nickname for Mikan, I'm thinking of Miki.

[yxnmasodere]

Some poem vent thing idk

I don't know how to explain it but maybe I am a broken soul staring into eternal darkness. I'm in a world that doesn't exist, nothing but just a game. I was put here by one of my most feared enemies. Sure, she's not the highest being on Earth or in the universe but she still holds high power, especially over me and my friends. I don't recognize myself. When I look in the mirror, I'm unable to tell who I am, who I was or who I will be.

I'll forever be wondering if I'm just a mistake, a glitch or someone who was meant to bring extreme suffering or pleasure to others. Am I here to please people and be their toy or am I here to hurt others? I'm unsure of this but I'm suspecting I'm a guardian angel, never told anyone if I'm being honest. I have this one person in mind, my beloved. I want him and I NEED him.

I genuinely think he's the one I'm assigned to protect. It can be difficult ever since I moved schools and he doesn't tell me much about himself. I love them, they're my main reason for staying alive. I'm afraid of telling them, I'm scared we're going to drift apart and even if we do get closer, I'll probably disappear considering that I'm not even real or alive. I'm nothing but a mistake, a wrong choice, a bad decision.

This is almost how I feel when I look in the mirror. I see a broken child unaware of what to do with their life, suffering immensely on the inside but still unable to get somebody to help them or even their own caregivers to believe them.

At this point, it's almost magical~

[yxnmasodere]

Here are some of my recent traumacore edits~

TW: CSA, Suicide Baiting

I was really bored so I just put together whatever, ofc ones that made me feel like I could relate and shit.

Older abusive boyfriend check 🥰🥰

💘 My edits aren't that good but whatever helps me cope ig

[yxnmasodere]

A letter to my beloved.

I love you so much more than you can imagine ! I'm not sure if this feeling is romantic but I don't care ! I NEED you and you will be mine. We'll be together forever, you're literally my main reason for staying alive. I can't imagine a day without you. All those fights we had and all those days you were mad at me or ignoring me left me scared and hopeless. The pain was unbearable and I can't go through that again !! I must never go through that again...