pillow talk

i am not a human bean, simply a small cactus plant searching for the love of zayn malik & logic........ secret offspring of SATAN and KANYE WEST. RATT PACK. #blacklivesmatter

[magicalgirlmindcrank]

Hey uh this is pretty fucking bad

[ready-player-fun]

On this episode of “Republicans be trying to make unpaid forced labor happen again”

[teathattast]

[ruiny0ursleep]

HA

[blitzkriegfritz]

[a-brad-acadabra]

Wholesome pranks

[sodomymcscurvylegs]

That would be my nosy ass making all those faces in the back 😂😂😂😂😂

[surprisebitch]

the last one is the best

[shutupmerlin]

My boss doesn’t take me seriously because I’m the youngest in the office by a decade and spend most of my time making his life hell (unrelated problems).

Yesterday he asked me to help him with a problem with a program we use but wasn’t actually listening to me when I tried to help, so it wasn’t working. He asked who the expert on this program was in our office and I told him it was me. He asked who the expert was within the organisation and I told him it was me. He sent me out of his office saying he would call IT to fix it. So I very patiently went back to my desk, where my phone rang a minute later, with IT asking me to help someone who had a problem with the program.

The sheer unadulterated joy I felt making direct eye contact with my manager through the glass wall of his office whilst I answered his phone call will fuel me for WEEKS.

[d-e-l-ete-d-deactivated20181014]

When you got the receipts and you get  the perfect opportunity to leave them in shambles

[stability]

[eyyyiwantdeath]

[fatpikachupics]

actually there is one more

[hellsite-yano]

This rhymes

[goweninsane]

Next time my teacher makes us read a poem this will be it

[surprisebitch]

adults: college 2 expensive??? just apply 4 scholarships!! it's that easy!! apply to every singl one and u can pay 4 the college, ur just a lazy millennial (:

scholarships: $500 Scholarship, must be grad student majoring in neurobiology, must provide SSN, very large essay, impressive resume, published work and research, birth certificate, organ donor, ran a marathon. also ur competing against 2 million other students, good luck!!

me: why

[despicablewench]

[officialjiggly]

sucking dick is demeaning

[splashes-n-stuff]

De meaning of life 😎

[magicalgirlmindcrank]

You know I went into She-ra thinking it’d just be kinda fun but goddamn Noelle Stevenson you fucking legend you did it again

[magicalgirlmindcrank]

The Creator of She-Ra Princesses of Power and Lumberjanes everyone

[kingofdersecest]

Sounds boring and fetishistic 

[magicalgirlmindcrank]

Hard to take that opinion remotely serious when the post below this on your blog is hentai bro

[snoopingasusualisee]

[jointsmoker]

idk what it is about kids these days that makes them so funny but in any case my friend just told us about how her younger sister babysits for a 7 and 9 yr old and one day they said they wanted to play “bus drivers” and they made wheels and everything but then the game was just being bus drivers at a union meeting discussing their problems

[dutchster]

when it’s november 1st

[crazyaboutlefandoms]

Songs with the same bpm but played over different than original video tracks give me life

[pixie-tot]

why are non-millennials so personally offended by everything? like if i’m still wearing my jacket indoors, it’s because i’m cold, not because i disrespect your home/your classroom !! if somebody has got your order wrong, it’s because they’re very busy and simply made a mistake, not because they’re trying to jeopardise your meal !! if somebodies phone rings during a meeting/lecture, it’s because they accidentally forgot to put it on silent, not because they want to disrupt your speech !! just calm down, sharon, not everything is about you

[thelittlemerms]

my personal favorite is when you yawn and they’re like “am I boring you?”

like bitch i’m running on five hours of sleep and chronic anxiety 

[queenixx]

its funny how you say non-millennials as if millennials aren’t offended bei every little tiny thing that could possibly happen

[pyrothorax]

being offended by wearing a coat inside is very different to being offended by violent racism but sure enjoy your tea

[the-sapphic-raven]

Shes probably committing crimes right now

[jinxtus-deactivated20210311]

Who is?

[the-sapphic-raven]

What are you, a cop? piss off

[peoplegettingreallymadatgay]