Zazzle Dazzle: Tumblr Edition

21 | she/her (profile pic by @caspercubed)

[thombalan]

[gay--dog]

man half of my mutuals are named some shit like Snooble at this point im doing some poob as bullshit in my life

[discount--dracula]

wbat the hell you weren't even exaggerating

[kroovv]

Please enjoy this snail measuring tape i got at a garadge sale today

[zalcagon]

@caspercubed sneasuring snape

[copperbadge]

On Saturday I said to my partner, as I have said for months, "A ten thousand dollar a year raise would solve so many of my problems."

As of this morning I was reluctantly looking for jobs because I love my job and don't want to leave it, but see: $10k raise problem solver.

As of noon today this was no longer an issue, because my boss called me with the news that I was getting a $10K merit raise.

I feel like a huge weight has been lifted off my shoulders. This is roughly $200 extra per paycheck. Enough to pay off debt faster, rebuild my savings, and spend a weekend a month in Milwaukee getting obscenely laid. The sex I'm going to have on $200 extra per paycheck. You can't even.

May all of you get the $10K raise your soul has yearned for. And whatever level of sex you can be satisfied with for $200.

[vergess]

hey bestie i think ur post might be charmed 'cause you aren't gonna fuckin believe what happened today

[vixvigil]

it’s never a normal temperature anymore it’s always some fucking bullshit

[fellator]

this fetish stuff is getting out of hand what the fuck is word play

[artemis-heart-emoji-heart-emoji]

The soon to transition Mrs Nice Guy: No more Mr Nice Guy

[loveridden1999]

problematic sudoku solving skills gap

[featuringmarkhoppus]

[zalcagon]

@skallyeen me with nonograms

[zedogica]

having a body made of meat sucks ass

[assiraphales]

I kind of miss the impulsivity that certain spaces used to allow. oh you want a hair cut today? hairdresser in the corner can fit you in before her 2 o’clock. tattoo of a cobra… sure leg or arm? even concerts, back when you could go to the box office thirty mins before any show. not saying these things don’t exist at all, but everything feels booked five months in advance and 10x more expensive

[molabuddy]

3 hours of sleep = i hate people who laugh

0 ours of sleep = waouw 🌼🌼🌼🌼🐎

[molabuddy]

we all need to take better care of our selfs or we might Pass away

[jackabbot]

"you're so quiet" yes someone told me i talk too much when i was 12 and now you have to go through the 7 trials and tribulations to unlock the real me

[skelotan]

Dedicated to my cat, who is very vocal about my bed time.

PATREON

[thecryptkeeper]

i know the way people talk about their pets now is probably how we’ve been doing it for all of history. a cat owner in ancient rome saw their cat lounging on the dining pillows and commented “he thinks himself to be the senator claudius 🤣”

[dogpuppy]

I wish I could have heard you sing this… I bet you have a beautiful voice

[hotvampireadjacent]

[hotvampireadjacent]