Woody

I love thinking about the games and making incongruous jokes, cheers

[mass-effect-anonymous]

Confession:  People who play through the original trilogy and genuinely pick a choice that isn’t Synthesis deeply unsettle me. Were they paying attention to ANY of the story’s allegory and metaphor?

[zandoct]

Absolutely

[void-within]

Palette challenge master(re)post

[zandoct]

I love this so much!

[how-grimm]

Me, listening to the Dragon Age II version of I’m Not Calling You A Liar by Florence + The Machine on a loop for 10 hours straight:

[zandoct]

This is the most important post I've ever seen

[anjian]

Another story.

[ref]

[lady-halibuts-convos]

Ow.  ow.  ow.  ow.  ow.  ow.  ow.  ow. OW.  god damn it Anjian seriously what the fuck

[zandoct]

Very important and good

[wifihunters]

“There is a story about that cluster of stars over there–Do you know it? Alindra and her soldier.”

(meant to be a bit ambiguous, but my warden is a surana)

[zandoct]

Love this! It reminds me of the song I always associate with Warden x Leliana, Corpus Christ Carol:

On this bed there lyeth a knight Their wound is bleeding day and night By their bedside kneeleth a maid And she weepeth both night and day The griffon hath bourne my mate away

[cakiebakie]

Aveline commission for suggestivecacti !! thank u :^) Commission info ((((:

[earlgraytay]

Why Varric's Publisher Is The Literal Worst (Or, Publishing Contracts 101)

Either Varric has the worst publisher in Kirkwall (and possibly in Thedas), or he picked the best of a bad lot and is trying to make the best of it now.

I am a writer myself. I know what publishing is like. And there are a couple things a publisher is supposed to do that Varric’s publisher just is not doing.

1) He’s not getting a proper editor.

We’ve all laughed at some of the howlers in Varric’s work, especially that ‘metaphor’ about the boat. (You know the one, it’s in one of the Hard in Hightown books.) But what that means is that he’s not getting professionally edited, at all. And I don’t think this is a case of Varric-is-too-famous-to-get-edited, he’s shown a pretty… mature? … grasp of what’s wrong with some of his books, and he doesn’t have Dorian’s ego. I think that they’re assuming they can cut corners by not editing his work, because wtf, even a crappy editor could have caught that one.

2) His publishersold his foreign rights without telling him.

Like, okay, I’m assuming the state of contract law in Thedas is not as good as it is in 21st-century America, I get it. But this is beyond unethical.

For reference, for those of you who don’t understand how writing contracts work: a writer’s work is their property. When a book gets published, the author is not selling their work; they’re selling a publisher the right to print their work, for a limited amount of time.

Most magazine contracts, for example, are for first-time publication in the country the magazine is based in, and you can resell your work or print it on your website after a certain amount of time has passed. Book contracts are for a longer amount of time, but are still limited, usually, to the country in which the book was first published.

If the book is going to be translated and/or published in a different country, the author gets to sell their right to do so, and can make a significantly greater amount of money from this. If, for example, an author lives, works, and publishes in Germany, and then is suddenly selling a highly popular book in the United States, they are going to be making a good deal more money than they were previously.

So Varric’s publisher selling his right to publish in Orlais out from under his nose- that’s theft. They’re stealing his intellectual property.

3) Having done that, his publisher did not give him any of the money they received from said sales.

I don’t think I need to tell you why this is bad, especially not in conjunction with #2. To steal his shit, and then to steal all the money they got from selling his shit? That’s refuge in fucking audacity, man. That’s a level of bullshit that’s so high even Varric is stunned by it. That’s ‘call in the Red Jennies, these people deserve bees in their trousers’ levels of bullshit.

So yeah, Varric’s publisher is the literal worst.

[zandoct]

This is very insightful analysis but I get the impression Varric's the kind of guy to pick the worst possible editor and try and train em up. Maybe a distant cousin with little-to-no job prospects.

[teathattast]

[cringepdf-deactivated20240504]

todays dnd campaign

today my players:

- got pickpocketed by a 12 year old child

- our wizard decided the best way to stop him was to cast magic missile at the child

- child almost died 

- wizard got arrested and then bailed out

- players went to a casino to find the thieves guild but the wizard drank fantasy moonshine and passed out 5 minutes in so they couldnt

- next day, its 8:45am and they didnt want to go in too early so they found other things to do during the day

- i had 1 thing planned - a fighting arena - but improved 2 shitty things (a market and a rock museum) so theyd chose the arena

- no

- no

- my players chose the rock museum

- they go to the rock museum that only has five rocks and is run by a goliath man

- he asks if they want the guided tour of these 5 rocks - the fighter says yes and pays 2 copper pieces

- guided tour (that i had to make up on the spot)

- rock 1 - a greystone rock from the greystone area that i found when my brother pushed me off of a cliff at age 5

- rock 2 - a blackstone rock from the blackstone area that my brother gave to me to apologise

- rock 3 - a volcanic rock i found when i lost my leg looking for rocks in a volcano

- rock 4 - the rock i killed my brother with

- rock 5 - a pebble my boyfriend taught me how to skip rocks with - this is my fave rock

- wizard goes and finds a cool rock to give goliath and ends up vomiting over the pebble due to being hungover

- goliath doesnt realise and wizard lures him out of the building whilst fighter cleans up the vomit

- wizard and goliath have a touching heart to heart moment

- goliath says goodbye and takes the pebble with him into a sideroom

- as he leaves the fighter asks him what his name is

- goliath turns round dramatically

- my name,,is,,dwayne johnson 

[crownsnbirds]

@rowingviolahere

[kayas-wife]

DnD just be like that sometimes

[zandoct]

Is this 8-Bit Theater

[cassandrapentayaaaaas]

Cassandra canon that makes me happy

hums when in a romance with the inquisitor

smiles more when in a romance with the inquisitor

punches trees to combat allergies

may have used a shield in bed

uses her softest voice to express that she likes her armor

takes baths with rose petals

won’t tell anyone if her name is stitched into her underpants

broke a suitor’s arm

says the Divine wanted Varric’s autograph, but Cassandra brought him to Haven because she felt the Divine needed to see Varric’s chest hair “for herself”

obviously has more than four middle names but never reveals the rest

wants to be read poetry>doesn’t specify poem>lovingly mocks inquisitor’s choice in poetry

if you romance her and exhaust all of her Trespasser dialogue options she’ll say “what would you like, my love?” in a real gentle voice as many times as you want to hear it

has the best laugh

won’t play Eye-Spy with Varric but will play guessing games with Sera 

somehow withstood 15 mins of an orlesian noble going on about soup, didn’t kill anyone in the process

everything

[zandoct]

"I would have followed you... my icon. My inspiration. My Queen."

[zandoct]

Me headcanoning the end of Inquisition: and that was the happiest ending you could ever imagine Me headcanoning the beginning of DA4: well, first of all, everything's fucked, so jot that down,

[laurelsofhighever]

The Falcon and the Rose Masterpost

A Fereldan Civil War AU

The winter of 9:31 Dragon draws to a bitter close. Teyrn Loghain Mac Tir, hero of the people, has revealed a string of secret letters between King Cailan and Empress Celene of Orlais. The specifics are unclear, but suspicion of Orlesians run deep, and there are always those willing to take advantage of political scandal. Declaring the king unfit to rule, Loghain has retreated to his southern stronghold in Gwaren, with Queen Anora by his side. Fear and greed threaten to tear Ferelden apart. In Denerim, Cailan busies himself with maps and battle plans, hoping to stem the tide of blood before it can start. In the Arling of Edgehall, King Maric’s bastard son fights against the rebels flocking to the traitor’s banner, determined to free himself from the shadow of his royal blood. And in Highever, Rosslyn Cousland, bitter at being left behind, watches as her father and brother ride to war, unaware of the betrayal lurking in the smile of their closest friend. 

Chapter 1: The Shadow Falls The smirk spread wider across the soldier’s pockmarked face. Beneath his brows, the pale eyes glinted with malice. “It’s Cailan has no authority here.”

Chapter 2: In the War Dog’s Council The clack of crossed polearms halted the messenger in her tracks, one hand jerked to the weatherproofed satchel at her hip in an instinctive move to keep it safe. The two men flanking the door eyed her with ill-disguised disdain. “I have an urgent message for His Majesty,” she barked through her scarf. “Let me through immediately.”

Chapter 3: The Scion of the Laurels “What do you think’s happened?” Gilmore asked. “Civil war? Has Loghain started to march, maybe?” “My job is to train the Teyrn’s soldiers, not neb about where he plans to send them,” came the terse reply.

Chapter 4: Interlude: Royal Correspondence Anora, I must have started this letter a dozen times, and each time I scratch out my clumsy sentences all I can think about is how much better than me you are at this sort of thing. The easy charm with which I am credited in person falls flat when it comes to the written word – when it comes, my Dove, to you.

Chapter 5: First Blood and the Lady’s Will The clear mountain air brought the rhythmic beat of a blacksmith’s hammer to Alistair’s ears, the sound an unconscious echo of his own heartbeat. These were the men who had terrorised Ferelden’s countryside, had killed virtually unchecked for months, and soon, they would pay.

Chapter 6: A Rescue “So,” Eleanor pressed when only the two of them remained. “It appears you’re getting your wish. You get to go to war after all.” “Mother…” Rosslyn bit down on her argument. “I have to do this.” “No you don’t,” came the weary reply. “And yet, there’s too much of both of us in you to ever think you would just sit quietly behind. I had hoped you wouldn’t be swept up in war. A bittersweet smile touched Eleanor’s lips. “I wanted you all safe. But we each have our parts to play. We are Couslands, and we do what must be done.”

[zandoct]

This looks v. Good, saving for later

[bioware-confessions]

(x)

The Illusive Man was right to criticize Liara as the Shadow Broker. She doesn’t use her network for its intended purpose but diverts its resources to relief efforts and the Crucible. That’s why Cerberus stays ahead on the intelligence front and Liara never discovers anything useful.

[zandoct]

I mean, she literally uses her position to find decrypt the Prothean Data that saves Life As We Know It, and creates the VI construct that saves the next cycle, so... actually she was the greatest Shadow Broker ever? Huh.

[liaragaming]

Rewatching my Let’s Play videos while I’m sewing buttons.

City Elf Origin: Duncan is all, “Nah, you go get married. We can discuss my concerns after the celebration.”

Wait a minute.

Duncan wants to recruit you, but he wants to wait will after you’ve gotten married and had the whole celebration to ask you to make a decision that would pull you away from the life you just vowed to keep and leave your partner hanging practically spouse-less in a town they’ve never been in surrounded by people they don’t know.

HOW IS THIS OKAY, DUNCAN?!?!

I mean, don’t you think this is something that should maybe be discussed beforehand?

[zandoct]

This is a VERY good point, but Ser Jory is married and Duncan doesn't seem to mind, so at least there's precedent.

[sarek]

Still can’t believe that bioware tried to vilify the Grey Wardens….as if we’ve all forgot our Wardens

[zandoct]

The Grey Wardens are bad, do not @ me (do)

[cassandrapentayaaaaas]

Would you mind reblogging with the name of the DA character whose voice can you hear most clearly in your head?

We’ve spent hours listening to them all, but some just stick better than others. I wanna see if there are any patterns.

[zandoct]

1. Dorian/Male Inquisitor 2. The Elder One 3. Merrill ... all of them

[kronecker-delta]

One of the big things that makes Mass Effect stand out above its sequels isn’t the meandering Reaper plot or how the mechanics got dumbed down.

It’s Saren. He’s a good villain, by far a better one than would appear anywhere else in the series. Since you get to see him early, have him remain a major antagonist all throughout the game.

And when it finally comes down to it, his plan, warped, evil, and self-serving as it may be…

It makes sense in a way that the madness of the Reapers and the idiocy of Cerberus just never could.

You can wrap your mind around how a patriotic, if deeply racist (speciesist?) Turian could take those first few steps that lead to his eventual indoctrination, and how he justified all the atrocities as necessary for his people’s survival even if the rest of the galaxy burned.

Shame they never managed to re-capture that in later installments.

[zandoct]

To me, Saren's character is so good because it's a corrupted mirror version of "I was prejudiced but the threat of the Reapers brought me together with the rest of the Galaxy" which becomes such a key theme. In Revelation, he's a big ol' racist and very ruthless. By ME1, though, and especially as that plot develops, he changes into trying ruthlessly to save ALL life from the Reapers. Excellent stuff.

He's a more sympathetic villain than some other Bioware rogues. But that doesn't make him a better villain, at least not in my book (I value villains by what they tell me about the fictional world, and our own world)