zapp's crawfish

no fandoms, just vibes ✌️

[dankmemeuniversity]

[homoz]

[magiashley]

unlike YOU, i get my news from a RELIABLE source

[alistair-button]

Everything you need in one spot

[i-m-snek]

[swishersposts]

artists fuck better because we turn sex into art, masterpieces, mattresses become canvases where we can paint our love to someone with bodies.

[zsnes]

its like, impossible to come up with anything funnier than the experience of seeing this post

[targuzzler-deactivated20180224]

pharoahs fuck better because they ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh put the pussy in a scarmophogoghs

[raggedyanndy]

janelle monae rhyming “areolas” and “coca-colas” > the entire beatles discography

[topherchris]

[popculturebrain]

unmute for the love of god unmute

[bigromance]

Get you a party this lit

[bogfox]

I know this is a standard party but I can’t help but bring my 

[bigromance]

It is approved, I also present this roster update.

[carrotchipper]

There was an alien festival this weekend.

[dekoi2501post]

[dangerbooze]

OH MY GOD

[zionthepansexual]

[lochnessmonsterofficial]

[bemusedlybespectacled]

fucking christ I am sobbing

“If the men find out we can shapeshift, they’re going to tell the church!“

[pyreo]

i didnt learn anything about contouring but that’s okay

[lizmaryr]

Do yourself a favour and watch this. I am sobbing with laughter at one a clock in the morning, i literally had to stop the video because I couldn’t see through my tears of mirth.

PRESS PLAY. 

[vampire-crimson]

IF YOU DO NOT WATCH THIS

YOU ARE MISSING OUT

i still have no idea how to fuckin contour but there are much more important things for this person to teach you

[wolfpilled]

“there’s a lot to unpack here” is the academic equivalent of “yikes”

[foxhounders-deactivated20160813]

ppl who dont even like shakespeare: WOW how DARE you alter the original text these are CLASSICS have you no RESPECT, going around DESECRATING these sacred texts in the name of POLITICAL CORRECTNESS!!!!!!!!!

people who love shakespeare: im going to stage a production of hamlet where all the actors are dogs

[thehero-groundzero]

it’s what he would have wanted 

[adonischildsupportcase]

[quickweaves]

I’m glad I watched this

[gabrieldreyfuss]

Guy who likes music

[ethereal-insight-deactivated201]

Is he an alien

[butangel420]

This is the funniest thing I’ve ever seen

[farmsuggestion]

old macdonald had ENOUGH

[levinahs]