If there was one thing I could make everyone truly see about anxiety and depression, it would be how lonely and isolating explaining it can be.
How hope sinks it's claws in your chest everytime someone lends a ear and a helping hand, promising to understand
How your heartbreaks everytime they don't
How the dread settles in your stomach as you desperately grasp for words that fail you, everytime someone asks you for reasons for your anxiety indused behaviour
How the ground disappears from beneath your feet when your feelings are dismissed as "not a big deal" and reminders are shoved down your throat about how these aren't real problems and that other people have it worse
How your mind shuts down when they tell you to try to look at the brighter side, to be "more positive" as if you haven't been trying your hardest for years to be just that
How your brain screams "Your hardest can get better and yet your best will never be enough" over and over until it drowns out all the the other thoughts
How the anger and guilt intertwine and settle over your skin, squeezing the breath from your lungs
How you spend the whole night curled up in your own self-hatred, when they turn their back on you saying they've had enough
The helplessness is a companion you can't seem to leave behind now
When your mind is your worst enemy, loneliness makes a home out of your bones.
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