Ze Larkin Lair @zejaylarkin-blog - Tumblr Blog

Sometimes the help you need isn’t the help you want. Call 1-800-273-8255 if you’re thinking of suicide.

This comic meant a whole lot to me. It was sincere in its depiction and treated the issue through the eyes of a grounded person. Not some godly hero saying everything is better than it seems, but a person trying his best before bringing her somewhere who can actually help.

chekhov

wildeismsremade-deactivated2019

broitsablog

@indigopersei is the french language just always on the verge of getting someone accused of assault or..?

dammitperseus

my friend, if only you knew

randomfandomteacher

It’s a very dangerous language to learn

party-bees-deactivated20181211

Here’s an interesting thing about French! Everything needs to have an article in front of it. That’s why it’s “la chat” as opposed to just “chat”. So, for instance, you could say la fille for the girl, or jeune fille for young girl, but you can’t just say fille, because that means you are calling her a sex worker in a derogatory way.

The moral of the story is, if you want to make something rude in French, just take out the article in front of it. Yes, this works for nearly. every. word.

wine-dark-sea

#now I’m wondering how often my high school french teacher was silently screaming because of this little fact

Every year. Every year there’s that kid who forgets that you can’t translate “I am excited” to “Je suis excitée”. And every year Monsieur Jordan has to slam the brakes before that kid can finish his sentence and then tactfully ask him not to announce to the class that he is horny.

shamwowxl

“is the french language always on the verge” oh buddy, oh pal, i am so happy to break this news to you:

uppityfemale

The President charges his own Secret Service to use his golf carts.

The Secret Service also had to move out of their floors in Trump Tower because they couldn’t afford the lease.

THE PRESIDENT IS MAKING MONEY OFF OF HIS PRESIDENTIAL SECURITY DETAIL.

THEY ARE REQUIRED BY LAW TO PROTECT HIM AND HE’S CHARGING THEM AT HIS PRIVATE BUSINESSES TO DO SO.

The Secret Service is almost out of money. Trump spent in one year on travel what Obama spent in eight (not to mention profited off of it). They can’t afford to pay people their people to cover Trump’s huge family as they travel for work and go on vacation every week.

This is corruption. This is unethical. This is something we should all be mad as Hell about.

caitallolovesyou

This was actually so insane to me that I figured I HAD to make sure it was real before reblogging it with no sources. It seems to be totally real.

sources: http://www.marketwatch.com/story/trumps-clubs-charge-60k-to-rent-carts-to-secret-service-as-agency-runs-out-of-money-2017-08-21 http://www.businessinsider.com/secret-service-trump-tower-rent-command-post-2017-8 (and there are many more if you googlefu, but most of them weren’t sources I particularly like or trust so I’m not linking them here.)

Anyway yes, this is like textbook corruption. This is our tax dollars at work, people!

wetwareproblem

This is the entire reason he ran. People laughed at what a shitty businessman he was, but… that’s the thing. He was never a businessman. He has always been a con artist. And this is just the biggest job of them all. The sole point of the von Clownstick administration is to shovel as much US money as possible into his already-bloated pockets, in exactly the same way that all of those failed businesses shoveled investor money in.

susurrations

[Image description: “Secret Service has spent $40k of your money for carts at DT golf courses, directly into his checking account, first POTUS to personally pocket our tax dollars for his protection. $40k, directly to him, for golf carts. To protect him. Think about that.” - John Fuselgang]

pr1nceshawn

Tips That Can Save Your Kid’s Life.

hiddlesherethereeverywhere

THIS IS IMPORTANT

When I was a child, from the time I was about four and could understand things, my mom told me and my brother that we should have a secret word. That way, if we were ever in trouble or felt unsafe and we didn’t want the people around us to know we needed her to come get us, we could let her know. So she let us pick the word and my brother and I chose the phrase “peanut butter cups.” (I’m happy to share the phrase now since both my brother and I are adults now).

I used the phrase twice in my life. Once, I was at a friends house when I eight years old. Her dad got really drunk and was throwing things against the wall. I was really scared and I didn’t want to draw attention to myself on the phone when I called my mom to come get me because I didn’t know if he would get more violent if I asked her to come get me. So I called her and was calm and after a couple minutes I asked “Hey mommy, did you get me those peanut butter cups from the store?” And she said “I’ll be right there.” And she came and got me within minutes.

Second, I was a teenager spending the night at a friends house. Her brother and dad were drinking and they started talking about things that made me uncomfortable - ie: what they liked to do to women. My friend didn’t seem perturbed and said that was normal for them and that I shouldn’t worry. But I was worried because they were really drunk and I was 15 and the only ‘woman’ around that wasn’t related to them. I went in my friends room, told her I needed to call my mom and say goodnight. Before I hung up with her I asked “Next time we go to the store, can we get some peanut butters cups? I’ve been craving them.” And she came and got me, just like that.

Two incidents, one as a young child, one years later as a teen. Don’t discredit this stuff, it fucking works. My brother used it a few times too. Let your child pick the word and no never, ever, ever, ever get mad at them for using it no matter what it is.

titenoute

DO NOT SCROLL PAST THAT.

honeybeehusky-blog

Off topic, but very important! I was taught to yell “this is not my mom/dad.” A young kid freaking out in public is likely to be ignored out of embarrassment, but a kid telling you right out that they don’t know who is messing with them? That will turn heads.

optimusisbestpoptimus-deactivat

VERY IMPORTANT!!

onlyleigh

rabbits-of-negative-euphoria

onlyleigh:

“There’s a lot to be said for making people laugh. Did you know that that’s all some people have? It isn’t much, but it’s better than nothing in this cockeyed caravan.”

-sullivan’s Travels

bornfromfllames

Justice League Unlimited - Death of Ace

zejaylarkin-blog

One of my favorite Batman scenes. All superheroes are brave and, to a degree, selfless. But Batman brings a level of human understanding to the field that the others simply lack. Frightened children manage to be his kryptonite and his greatest strength all at once. Empathy-man for the win.

musicalsymphony

I know I never (personally) post things like this but I saw this on the news and I really wanted to share it.

musicalsymphony

Guys the party happened yesterday - look how happy he is!

thedionysia

😢 so cute!!!!

wonderlandfairytales

yes yes yes! ☺️

vacillavi-deactivated20231227

TEARS 😭

colortheclown

There is still so much good in the world😊✨ I am so happy his spirits were rejuvenate!

cassmarieex

I will forever love this post I am crying goodbye I want to marry this man

positive-memes

The dancing man :D

zejaylarkin-blog

The effect of a few jerks at a party is washed away by the love and kindness of a bunch of strangers on the internet. :)

soft-butch-cassidy

I was getting pretty fed up with links and generators with very general and overused weapons and superpowers and what have you for characters so:

Here is a page for premodern weapons, broken down into a ton of subcategories, with the weapon’s region of origin.

Here is a page of medieval weapons.

Here is a page of just about every conceived superpower.

Here is a page for legendary creatures and their regions of origin.

Here are some gemstones.

Here is a bunch of Greek legends, including monsters, gods, nymphs, heroes, and so on.

Here is a website with a ton of (legally attained, don’t worry) information about the black market.

Here is a website with information about forensic science and cases of death. Discretion advised.

Here is every religion in the world.

Here is every language in the world.

Here are methods of torture. Discretion advised.

Here are descriptions of the various methods used for the death penalty. Discretion advised.

Here are poisonous plants.

Here are plants in general.

Feel free to add more to this!

thejovianmute

An exceedingly useful list of lists for writers.

probablyfreeformrpgideas-blog

Important.

soup-fairy

The real monster is unemployment.

hp-picspam

harry potter + Hogwarts locations (insp) [1] [2]

zejaylarkin-blog

These look like the background art for Hogwarts Clue and I’m into it

#Hogwarts Cluedo

quigonejinn

bogleech

Every day I’m still getting notes on an old post where I said that eating healthier costs more money and of course every so often is another health zealot swearing I’m wrong.

EXCEPT:

one dollar at dollar tree

one dollar at mcdonald’s

A fucking quarter almost everywhere

And what these bozos aren’t factoring in is that these foods, loaded with salts and fats and carbs and sugars, are FILLING for a shitload longer than whatever colon cleansing non-GMO avocado unicorn poop some thinspo blog is bragging about. The box of oatmeal creme cookies even lasts more than a day, just two of those things and I have no appetite again for hours.

Personally we are eating better and making more money currently but when I was a kid it was all the above shit and potatoes. Lots and fucking lots of potatoes.

STOP FUCKING TELLING POOR PEOPLE THEY’RE STUPID FOR NOT EATING LIKE YOUR HIPSTER ORGANIC CRAP

ambitchousrobot

Another thing they’re forgetting is food waste. Fresh produce only lasts so long. So to regularly eat fresh you have to 1) go grocery shopping more often and 2) have your meals planned out ahead of time to use everything.

When you only have $50 or less for food for the month, it’s devastating to see $10 worth of fresh produce rot. Especially if it’s because you just don’t have time to cook it. (Poor people usually juggle multiple jobs, work overtime, or work jobs with inconsistent schedules like retail or food services.) They don’t have time to run to the grocery store 3+ times a week, especially if they have to hit up multiple stores to get the cheap prices. They don’t have time to spend 1+ hour every week doing a meal plan. And they probably don’t have that much time or energy to cook.

When I was severely poor (like, we determined which bill to pay each month by how close they were to being shut off. “We paid water last month, so they won’t turn it off until next month. It’s been two months of electricity though, so we should probably pay that before we get a cutoff.) we did not buy fresh. All our veggies were canned, because they don’t spoil. We had lots of ramen, just in case we ran out of money and couldn’t buy groceries for a while. We didn’t buy meat unless we knew we would cook it that day because we didn’t want to see it spoil. We ate a lot of boxed meals. And when I was working 60+ hours a week, you can bet your ass I ate a lot of cheap packaged shit like little debbie. Because I didn’t have time to cook before my 12 hour work day, I only got 4 hours of sleep and I wasn’t sacrificing 30 minutes for a hot breakfast, and I couldn’t afford to eat out.

Anyone who says shit like this has never been poor. When you’re poor it’s not just money you’re lacking, but time, and resources, and mother fucking energy. It’s rough. And I wouldn’t be so quick to judge them if I were you, because the poor have been through more than you could ever understand.

candygirl1997

remember when i said veganism was clasist & not an option 4 most of society n they were all in my inbox actin like typical vegans…. well there u go

heyatleastitsnotcancer

This goes doubly for chronically ill or disabled poor people. There really isn’t time and energy to make each meal especially if you’re working. It’s damn near impossible.

It’s great if eating vegan or all fresh products or what not works for you but keep in mind it won’t work for everyone.

Headcanon: Bruce likes to use slang words because he knows it makes Dick uncomfortable - he even does it when they team up after Dick becomes Nightwing

Batman: *swings onto the rooftop* What's hip and happening homie?

Nightwing: Please stop

Batman: Why you all up in my grill?

---------------

Bruce: You snuck out when I specifically told you not to - that's not very kush

Dick: Why are you doing this?

---------------

Bruce: The pizza rolls didn't get burnt! *dabs*

Dick: *starts crying*

---------------

Wally: Is that your dad?

Bruce *in the distance*: What up boi

Dick: No no, fuck no

---------------

Nightwing: You're saying they usually meet at this warehouse?

Batman: Fo' sho'

Nightwing: I will punch you

---------------

Nightwing: Riddler is escaping into my city - I'll take him down and bring him back

Batman: I guess I can pop lock and drop this case

Nightwing: This is why I left you for Blüdhaven

This makes me irrationally happy.

qqueenofhades

OK, if Lucifer has seen Parent Trap, what other movies do you think he loved? Which ones do you think banged on all of his issues? Obviously most of Disney is right out.

Lucifer has obviously also seen The Devil Wears Prada, which he probably loves and has watched 800 times. He hates Andy’s boyfriend and loves Meryl, because obviously.

He finds Rosemary’s Baby horrifying, but not for the obvious reasons. Rather, because the idea of A CHILD. BELONGING TO THE DEVIL. NO SIRREE BOB.

He and Maze got drunk, watched Angels and Demons, and threw popcorn at the screen and heckled it the whole time. Same with The Da Vinci Code.

They tried watching The Lion King, but that went, as noted, sideways quickly.

Lucifer has probably watched a lot of old British TV shows/the kind of thing Granny puts on after the Sunday roast/etc. He also likes anything where the dad is the bad guy. Aka he feels a deep personal connection with Luke Skywalker in the Empire Strikes Back. But they haven’t finished Return of the Jedi, because he can’t deal with the end where Anakin and Luke reconcile and Anakin tells Luke he already saved him and kills the Emperor for him. Because why would that ever actually happen.

Aka this was supposed to be funny, but now I have given myself feels.

zejaylarkin-blog

Oh, disagree, disagree, disagree.

First, The Parent Trap *is* Disney, which opens the Disney door, and just think about it. Movies about harmless, wild-spirited fun where the troublemakers not only get away with their troublemakery but also get the guy/girl, a litany of fans, a big song-and-dance about how great they are, and a bangin’ new outfit? That is Luci’s *jam* my friends.

Second, if his every-single-reaction to Luciphonies thus far is any indication, I imagine that the movies that portray the devil violating the lives of innocents (IE every single movie involving the devil) would get him so pissy-moany that he would choke on his popcorn and ruin his suit. So, I don’t think classic horror flicks would become habit forming for him.

But I bet Maze loves them.