hypocritical oath @zobey-wan-kanoby - Tumblr Blog

Having a job sucks i should be caring for a farm full of dairy goats, rabbits and quail not doing whatever the hell this bullshit is

kelasparmak-deactivated20260114

breakdown cancelled, guy in [shop redacted] gave me a discount on my plants ‘just cause’ and then didn’t scan half my other shit either. i was like ‘oh you missed–’ and he goes ‘discount innit’. i think maybe he just hated his job but also possibly humans are good and long story short i’m not mentally ill any more.

mortimermcmirestinks

New [tumblr] users: there is something very important for you to know.

There is a secret callsign for [tumblr] users.

If you spot a wild [tumblr] human in the wild, you must tell them this phrase:

“I like your shoelaces.”

The appropriate reverse-call, if you hear this phrase, goes thusly:

“Thanks! I stole them from the president.”

I’m paying literal actual money for you to see this, so don’t let it be in vain. Use this phrase everywhere.

mortimermcmirestinks

responses to this post so far:

40% “the ancient texts!”

30% “oh we’re bringing this back?”

20% “fuck you OP” and/or “you paid money for this!?”

10% “do not cite the deep magic to me, witch, I was there when it was written”

mortimermcmirestinks

@rotten-dan this is a good question. honestly? little of column A, little of column B.

I do love the culture here, and I both unironically love the shoelaces thing as a cute little relic of a bygone era of freeform [tumblr] silliness and appreciate it as an AoE psychic damage attack on those old enough to remember those days.

I want to both include younger people by teaching them [tumblr] history, as goofy and “cringey” as it may be – because I absolutely want any new people to feel welcome in this absolutely bonkers community – and I want to deal just, like, massive psychic damage to those of us old enough to remember – because, well, after all, that’s a time-honoured part of the culture here, too.

do I think this code is silly and very few people will use it? sure.

do I think people should be going around using this code? absofuckinglutely.

“Don’t kill the part of you that’s cringe, kill the part of you that cringes.”

blairwitchapologist

aren’t you even a little bit ashamed of promoting abortion so loudly?

nope! i love abortion, i love people who get abortions, and i love people who help people get abortions! xoxo

doeberman-moveddd-deactivated20

moment of silence for everyone who's just like their dad but a girl

theartistdrawsnudes

Quick mashup while we wait for devices to rock up!

Models - @borderlinebraaatt @bemysky

hungry-skeleton

Mowing through an entire box of pocky feeling like a pencil sharpener being fed whole pencils by a 3rd grader

vexingcutie

grab it & spank it 🍑 @youreyesareswallowing-me

more of us here

utr11p-deactivated20250220

I want 5 orgasms and a new tattoo

sani-m3

lunchbreak snaps

rajvira-deactivated20250815

the sun *comes out*

Me: happy ☀️☀️☀️☀️☀️☀️

pointnclick

how im trying to be

solardrake

who dehydrated my fucking dog

solardrake

WOOWOO RESTORED

scooplery

the most fucking annoying thing about mental illness is that knowing more about it literally does not make a difference. you can watch your own insanity creep up on you in real time, know exactly where it's coming from and what it's gonna do to you, know all the silly little psychiatry words for all your silly little "symptoms", and still have no control over its grip on you. like, i am NOT at the steering wheel in here at ALL bro.