Zodiac/Horoscope Posts

I'm a Taurus. 💁🏼♉️ Open to any suggestions.

[star-plasma]

Cancer, Gemini, Taurus & Aries ✨🔮

[bob-belcher]

signs as vine quotes

Aries:”I’m a bad bitch! You can’t kill me!”

Taurus: “So i’m sitting there… barbecue sauce on my titties “

Gemini:  “I’m back here in this ugly ass school with all these fake ass people-” “Hey” “-hey” “….fucking bitch”

Cancer: “I shoved a toothbrush up my butt my dad burst and he goes what the fuck are you doing.“

Leo: ”what the FUCK is up KYLE no what did you say WHAT THE FUCK DUDE STEP THE FUCK UP KYLE. “

Virgo:  “So u jus gon bring me a birthday gift on my birthday to my birthday party on my birthday wit a birthday gift?? “

Libra:”Bitch gon step on my fuckin toe bitch with them fuckin cowgirl fuckin boots BITCH DISGUSTING “

Scorpio: “To make long fucking story short I put a whole bag of jelly beans up my ass. “

Sagittarius: “i saw you hanging out with caitlyn yesterday !” “REBECCA IT’S NOT WHAT YOU THINK!” “I won’t hesitate BITCH!”

Capricorn: “No off topic questions. Because I don’t want to. No Tha- no. Permission denied. You have been stopped”

Pisces: ” Hi! Thanks for checking in I’m still a piece of garbage🎶 “

Aquarius:“DON’T FUCK WITH ME! I HAVE THE POWER OF GOD AND ANIME ON MY SIDE! ”

[zodiacwack]

Zodiac Signs AT THEIR WORST!

(You can also refer to your Moon Sign)

Aries: Jealous, possessive, mean, fault finding, over-indulgent.

Taurus: Lazy, overly cautious, sensitive, feeling like everyone has bad intentions.

Gemini: Overwhelmed, easily depressed, snippy, judgmental and malicious, fickle, inconsistent.

Cancer: Uncommunicative, emotional rollercoaster, vulgar, sulking, wants to be alone, feels like they can never do anything right.

Leo: Overly aggressive, wasted energy, melodramatic, cold-hearted, distant, feels like it's them against the world.

Virgo: Attitude, stand-offish, feeling sorry for themselves, self-pitying, really critical of others, lethargic and lazy.

Libra: Dramatic, highly sensitive, lazy, inactive, manipulative, dishonest, lashes out.

Scorpio: Revengeful, cynical, manipulative, highly secretive, mixture of raging emotions, overly obsessive.

Sagittarius: Argumentative, reckless, tactless, flaky, thoughtless, extremely harsh, volatile, unforgiving.

Capricorn: Snobbish, bossy, less forgiving, sees the worst in situations, hopeless, feeling attacked.

Aquarius: Very guarded, irrational thinking, more desperate, extremely detached, want to be left alone.

Pisces: Gullible, self-pitying, overly clingy, out of touch with reality, emotional, self-destructive.

[zodiacwack]

the "slob but also a perfectionist" squad

VIRGO, Cancer, Aries, Taurus, Aquarius, Pisces

[zodiacwack]

3 main types of the signs

aries 1: energetic, restless, easily excitable

aries 2: quiet, hardworking and really intelligent, honest and reliable

aries 3: emotional, very caring, a little socially awkward, optimistic

taurus 1: a little lazy, great taste in everything, loves the good things in life and wants to enjoy themselves

taurus 2: social media god/goddess, great (maybe goofy) sense of humour, kindest person ever

taurus 3: super hard working, family and friend oriented, tough exterior but soft on the inside

gemini 1: very intelligent, never ending curiosity, charming and friendly

gemini 2: introverted, maybe a little socially awkward, great sense of humour

gemini 3: a little unreliable/unpredictable, very sociable, kind and clever

cancer 1: emotional, very affectionate, caring, possibly clingy

cancer 2: independent, reliable, good sense of humour, optimistic

cancer 3: emotional/moody, very sociable, selfish tendencies

leo 1: a little narcissistic, charming, incredibly loyal

leo 2: quiet and introverted, shy, kindest and very down to earth

leo 3: incredibly creative, great sense of humour, possibly selfish, sociable

virgo 1: quiet and very intelligent, organised and analytical

virgo 2: social and friendly, joker, very creative

virgo 3: more introvert, very creative, kind and honest

libra 1: very social, a little fickle, possibly selfish

libra 2: introvert but outgoing with friends, very intelligent, great sense of humour

libra 3: very serious, introvert, quiet but kind and selfless

scorpio 1: very intense, short temper, loves their friends and family more than anything

scorpio 2: quiet and introverted, very intelligent, absolutely selfless

scorpio 3: very social, great sense of humour, easily excitable and hyperactive

sagittarius 1: loud, good sense of humour, very active

sagittarius 2: philosophical, introverted, very intelligent

sagittarius 3: friendly, intelligent, kind and humorous

capricorn 1: hard-working, practical, reliable

capricorn 2: good sense of humour, doesn't like schedules, independent and rebellious

capricorn 3: sociable, friendly, loyal and hard-working

aquarius 1: outgoing, good sense of humour, kind

aquarius 2: very intelligent, introverted, unemotional

aquarius 3: really into the arts, friendly, selfless

pisces 1: very creative, caring and compassionate

pisces 2: good (maybe silly) sense of humour, very talkative, friendly

pisces 3: very intelligent, introverted, quiet and selfless

[zodiacwack]

The Signs and Comfort

Watches Netflix and eats food: taurus, cancer, leo, virgo Needs hugs: pisces, aquarius, libra, capricorn Hangs out with friends: aries, gemini, sagittarius, scorpio

[koi--strology]

ARE YOU GETTING KISSED UNDER THE MISTLETOE?

No: Cancer, Sagittarius, Aquarius, Taurus

Yes: Aries, Pisces, Capricorn, Virgo

You’re getting fucked under the mistletoe: Gemini, Scorpio, Leo, Libra

[myboyfriendpetebuttigieg]

The first time I heard an adult say the f word was when I was in fourth grade and we were doing some project that involved us baking cookies together as a class. My teacher Ms. Lindsey, who was real sweet, was demonstrating for everybody and she asked if anyone knew how to crack an egg, and I really didn’t know how to crack an egg, but I’m a go-getter, so I raised my hand and she called on me. I instantly knew I was in trouble at that point but I’d seen my dad crack eggs hundreds of times so I figured, ya know, it can’t be thaaaat hard. So I grab the egg but I have no sense of how softly you’re supposed to tap an egg to crack it, so I just slam it against the desk and splatter raw egg ten feet in every direction and my teacher said “what the fuck, Dion?”

[hellokrissi]

dion: aries, taurus, gemini, leo, aquarius, pisces

ms. lindsey: cancer, virgo, libra, scorpio, capricorn, sagittarius

[horoscopecentral]

When the signs put up holiday decorations

Whenever decorations begin to sell (aka August): Cancer, Aquarius, Pisces, Taurus

The day after Halloween: Sagittarius, Virgo, Capricorn, Libra

LET’S ALL BE GRATEFUL AND CELEBRATE THANKSGIVING FIRST: Gemini, Aries, Scorpio, Leo

[horoscopecentral]

Signs forgetting an assignment

OH NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO: Virgo, Aries, Pisces, Sagittarius

*quickly scribbles some numbers to look like work*: Gemini, Scorpio, Leo, Taurus

Wait…what’s homework?: Cancer, Libra, Capricorn, Aquarius

[zodiacwack]

The Signs Spending Money

Spends their life savings on books: Libra, Scorpio, Virgo, Leo

Spends on mostly concerts or Comic Con tbh: Taurus, Pisces, Gemini, Sagittarius

Is actually saving their money: Aries, Cancer, Capricorn, Aquarius

[horoscopecentral]

Signs when their best friend’s heart gets broken

*runs over with the buckets of ice cream*: Libra, Pisces, Virgo, Sagittarius

*goes on massive youtube/netflix sprees together*: Leo, Gemini, Capricorn, Scorpio

*stay up all night together roasting people and making each other laugh*: Taurus, Aquarius, Aries, Cancer

[zodiacwack]

The Signs as Emojis

Aries: 🙏🏼 Taurus: ✨ Gemini: 💯 Cancer: 😘 Leo: 💃🏼 Virgo: 💎 Libra: 🏆 Scorpio: 💥 Sagittarius: 👸🏼 Capricorn: 😈 Aquarius: 🌚 Pisces: 🌪

[zodiacwack]

The Signs and Blogs

Fan Account: Taurus, Sagittarius, Pisces

Zodiac Blog: Leo, Libra, Virgo

Artsy Photography: Gemini, Cancer, Capricorn

Textposts: Aries, Scorpio, Aquarius

[zodiacwack]

The Signs Reacting to a Wasp Inside

Walks to the other side of the room: Taurus, Scorpio, Aquarius

Tries to kill it: Aries, Cancer, Pisces

Tries to get it to fly out the window: Gemini, Libra, Sagittarius

Screams: Leo, Virgo, Capricorn

[horoscopecentral]

Signs when hungry

Is really cranky: Aries, Aquarius, Virgo, Capricorn

Will do pretty much anything for food: Scorpio, Gemini, Leo, Pisces

*tries to steal food from the vending machine*: Taurus, Sagittarius, Libra, Cancer

[zodiacwack]

The Signs While Running A Mile

"Ughhhh when will this be over?": Aries, Libra, Virgo, Leo

*Sings the whole time*: Taurus, Sagittarius, Pisces, Capricorn

Actually tries their hardest: Gemini, Cancer, Scorpio, Aquarius