Piedmont will have absolutely no clue how to handle Post-Weirdmaggedon Dipper and Mabel.
The neighborhood kids play hide and seek and they’re hanging out on some random roof. You can’t beat them if you can’t reach them, suckas.
They’re outside every hour of the day. Literally. If you happen to be outside at two in the morning you might find them mid-magic hunt. Why not? Ford always said to take advantage of your insomnia for science.
Once some teenagers performing some weird Halloween hazing the Pines kids absolutely wrecked them. They literally have no chill.
For that matter, if you look Mabel in the eye, rumors say, you immediately have to play a game of cards with her. Never take pocket change anywhere near their street.
The pig goes with them. That’s final.
They say Dipper Pines has a six pack. They say he’s shredded. They saw he’s got a scar across the belly from fighting off a pack of wolves with his fists.
All the doors in the world are open if you know how to pick locks… Not that they’re saying they can. That’s implementing themselves in multiple unsolved crimes, and that would be stupid.
Feel free to add your own!
Mabel starts leaving handmade jewelry around their school, their neighborhood, the local grocery store. People who know her are afraid to touch them but strangers pick up these little wire and yarn doodads and find themselves having some very good luck.
There’s a rumor that that kid who always falls asleep in class couldn’t sleep at night because a ghost was haunting him. One night they find out that Dipper got in trouble for breaking into his house in the dead of night. That kid stops falling asleep in class.
On all their homework and tests, they leave behind red ink eyes crossed out with an X. One of Mabel’s classmates asked her why and she looked up front, at their Trigonometry teacher and said, just in case.
Dipper listens to a death metal band called Robbie V and the Tombstones. No one can find their songs anywhere, but if you ask he’s happy to lend you his CDs.
Mabel remembers everything, about everyone. She’s the only one who remembers the birthdays of the kids with no friends and she shares happy memories when her peers are upset about a grade or family stuff. She writes down little details in a pink glittery notebook, so that no one will ever forget.
Dipper and a group of his classmates went on a field trip in the woods. When Dipper disappeared for several hours, the teachers panicked, but he appeared at their bus a few hours later, having collected all the data he needed for his bio lab and toting a jar filled with multicolored moths. He’s banged up, but he doesn’t seem to notice. When someone asks where he got them, he says “Mothman” and doesn’t answer any more questions.
Mabel makes a tidy profit off of Mabel Juice during final exam season. Half their graduating class will swear by it all through high school even if it does taste terrible. (The arrest rate for stimulant drug use drops close to zero.)
#THE CRYPTID HUNTERS HAVE FINALLY BECOME THE CRYPTIDS
One day show-and tell time happens. Dipper brings in an eyebat, and everyone laughs at him until he lets it out of the jar and it starts flying around the classroom. The teachers claim that he must’ve used tha big noggin of his to make an RC flight system, but the students know otherwise.
Everyone who picked on Dipper because he was a wimp now finds themselves somehow in bad situations that have no solid evidence he was there, but there’s always a mysterious pine tree drawing like the one on his new hat….
In art class, mable still does the glitter and scrap booking and pink, but when the class is asked to draw some things they saw over the summer…a few of the kids called her a liar, and those who did had nightmares of a laughing isosceles monster.
In forensics, and AP physics, and AP chemistry, Dipper explains chemical reactions, quantum physical theories and laws, and even describes various types of photgraphs, black lights and what they reveal, a lot more than simply binge watching murder mystery shows will ever tell you. He never demonstrates, just explains.
Somehow things just start being solved. When kids have weird things going on that they don’t get, everyone knows: you go to the Pines. The twins never ask for anything in return, but people will give Mable art supplies, and to Dipper, the figures for DD&more D, some strategies, and even sometimes food for Waddles. They never ask for money, but things get done. The pie on the windowsill gets left alone. That weird groaning noise in the back pond stops happening at night. That one stall in the bathroom is suddenly working.
In PE, Mable takes no shit. She gets into boxing, and on the wrestling team, the others in her weight class know to hope and pray that she’s in a good mood. They know what happens when she isn’t.
By the time they reach Junior year, no one messes with them. They’re nice enough, but if Mable offers you bracelet or a necklace, you accept. If Dipper is studying upside down on top of one of the library bookcases, you don’t disturb him. They know that Mable has been working on sweaters for everyone in their graduating class, and no one plans to refuse. The last time someone refused a sweater Mable made for them, they ended up stuck on top of the ferris wheel at the carnival, the next afternoon, and the bad luck continued until they accepted the gift.
There are rumors about the Pines that they saw things no mortal was ever meant to see on that summer, that they know things, and they can do things.
